Billy Upd@te

[The Chairman]

Billy's wife just called me; he got through the operation successfully!

His first words upon waking up in the recovery area were "Your Mom's Box." No
joke. I think he'll be fine! His doctor described the operation as a
"success" although there will be a lengthy recovery period, as expected.

He is currently resting comfortably in the recovery area and will be in the
hospital step down unit for a day or two before being transferred to his own
room for a few more days before he is discharged.

Billy and his family want to thank everyone for the outpouring of well wishes
and support from Board members. Currently, he can't receive phone calls or
visitors, but I will keep everyone Upd@ted in this thread as to Billy's
condition and how to contact him at the appropriate time.

Let's keep Billy in our thoughts and prayers.

http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/blink1027stinkssig.jpg
I assassin down the avenue.
The Chairman uses Vic Firth sticks and skidmark sigs.
2%

[jocefus]

good to hear the operation was a success... hope billy gets well soon...

http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/MidgetToss.jpg
sig courtesy of amy

[FUNKMAN]

Chairman,

thanks for the good news...

<img src="http://www.grandfunkrailroad.com/covers/whats100.jpg">

This message was edited by FUNKMAN on 7-8-03 @ 8:52 PM

[Cybersoldier]

that is great news, chairman thanks for keeping us Upd@ted

<IMG SRC="http://publish.hometown.aol.com/cybersoldiernyc/myhomepage/cybersoldier.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US">

[marygrace]

Yeah, Billy!

[JerseyRich]

Hooray!

Now this picture means so much more to me!
<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/StaplesHeadshotsmall.jpg>

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/RfSig.jpg>

[Johnny Fontane]

Excellent news, Chairman!




"Never tell anybody outside the family what you're thinking again."


Don Corleone to Sonny

[SatCam]

That's good news!! And what upsessed person would wake up saying "your mom's box"?

And was this his wife or ex-wife? I didnt know he was currently married

<IMG SRC="http://satcam.4t.com/sig47_general_satcamfan.gif">
<A HREF=http://www.satelitecam.tk>Ron and Fez Dr0ps and Bits</A>
<a href=http://www.oldronandfezpages.tk>WNEW Ron and Fez Pages</a>

[ADF]

Hooray! Feel better and skinnier soon, Billy.

<center><img src = "http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/adfjet.gif"><br></center>

[stickyfingers]

just heard the good news, that's great....i now know the best way to prepare oneself for a major surgery....thanks for the Upd@te chairman

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/SF72.gif>

jrich is quite a guy

[PanterA]

I knew Billy would be ok, he's a fighter.

Lots of luck on a speedy recovery Bill. We're always here to help.

<center><img border=2 src="http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/rfsig4"></center><br><font color=white>

[Bob Impact]

I'm just excited to see that Billy misspelled "you're."

Good luck Billy.

<center><img src="http://czm.racknine.net/images/bobimpactfog.gif"><br>
Thanks, FlufferNutter and CZM.

[ozzie]

I'm just excited to see that Billy misspelled "you're."

I don't know what your talking about.

Congrats Billy, and wishing you the best in you're recovery!


o O (...there ...their ...they're?)


<IMG SRC="http://czm.racknine.net/images/sigcity/thumbnails/tnsigozzie.jpg">
Mucho appreciation for the sigpic CZM!
<marquee bgcolor="navy" width="20%"><font color="orange">AUBURN</marquee><marquee bgcolor="orange" width="20%" direction="right"><font color="navy">TIGERS</marquee></font><marquee bgcolor="navy" width="20%"><font color="orange">AUBURN</marquee><marquee bgcolor="orange" width="20%" direction="right"><font color="navy">TIGERS</font></marquee>

[monsterone]

atleast fezzie is up $1000 for ron's failed radio psychic. and now i'm completely confused. is "your mom's box," first words instead of last?

anyway, way to go big man; a speedy recovery.

<center><IMG SRC="http://f3.grp.yahoofs.com/v1/wEEKPyPt2YpH-2ATZ2oem-svml2oAly6KRjA-zvj5Q8O3v8nnlA4FemBxEwSsc6wwz0nuIu-GcNAopOD/sig3.jpg"></center>

<marquee behavior=alternate scrolldelay=30> being white is like playing for the yankees </Marquee>

[french bread pizza]

he's a toughie that one is

http://sigup.com/sigs/sig_frenchy.gif

[skurbs]

great news. billy is unbreakable.

<img src="http://www.anncoulter.org/images/sig02.gif">
<font face="arial"> skurbs (tom from hoboken

[Hosp]

great news. billy is unbreakable.


Uhoh, Elijah isn't going to like that.

http://sasik.sasprg.cz/~stoupa/filmy/obr/Unbreakable(2000)ElijahPrice.jpg

I'm not sure what the procedure was, but good luck Billiam, get well soon.

<center><IMG SRC="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=Hosp">
<center>Come join the fun now</center><center>with me and all the gang.</center><center>Learning from each other</center><center>while we do our thing.</center><center>Nah, nah, nah; Going to have a Good Time!!!.</center>

[StupidGirlllll]

Thats great news!!!!!!! Thanx 1nce again Chairman for coming thru

<img src=http://members.aol.com/canofsoup15/images/storm-sig.gif

[golfcourseguy]

" Your Mom's box", indeed. Good bye hospital ,hello recovery. Best wishes , ex-Big Guy.

" editing posts since day one"

[spoon]

Good to hear!

One question: Since Billy probably won't be able to play in the second round of softball games, can we push him around the field before the game in a wheelchair like Ted Williams at the all-star game?

Perhaps I said too much?

<img src="http://members.aol.com/dxixrxt/spoon2.jpg">
Nothing...i have nothing!

[samnyc]

For those who lost money betting on Ronnie's radio psychic, I'll bet you that Billy loses 50 bounds in the next year. My money's on the 5-Letter-Man.

Billy, did you have your surgeon work on your Prince Albert while you were knocked out?

[FarAway]

Yeah Billy!

Relax and get strong : )

[MASTER WINDU]

Yeah Billy your silly .... Glad to hear ok. Take some time off (your specialty) Only kidding get well soon. If this don't work you can always have the ole jaw wired shut

[The Chairman]

Today's Billy Upd@te:

Billy was up and walking today. He's in a lot of pain but in good spirits. His condition is "as expected" for the day after surgery.

Some of you have asked me what kind of operation Billy had. The following is a brief description of the procedure:

Billy had the latest Gastric Bypass procedure, while reversing his previous, "stapling."

The latest procedure created a new, smaller "gastric pouch" by dividing-off the top part of his stomach through the latest stapling technique. A new connection to his digestive tract was established to allow food to be absorbed from his new gastric pouch, thus "bypassing" part of his intestines. Since less food can be eaten and fewer calories and nutrients can be absorbed during digestion, he should lose weight.

http://www.northshorelij.com/articles/imgs/gastric_by-pass.gif

Grant


http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/blink1027stinkssig.jpg
I assassin down the avenue.
The Chairman uses Vic Firth sticks and skidmark sigs.
2%

[Clark Kent]

Hellooooo Billy's here!!!!

<center><img border=1 src="http://home.comcast.net/~wwfallon/RFnetClarkKent.gif">
</center>

[Duke]

i am glade u went through good billy!!!!

<IMG SRC=http://members.aol.com/canofsoup15/images/sig-pic-11.gif Blink Sucks

[shifkik]

My wife had the same procedure last year and has lost 110 lbs. The first month or two can be a real bitch though.....

I can think of alot better uses for you mouth besides talking

[HordeKing1]

Billy your optomistic nature will serve you well and be a good source of strength. Feel better soon.

<center><img border=1 src="http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/hking1"></center>

[john11209]

Today's Billy Upd@te:

Billy had the latest Gastric Bypass procedure, while reversing his previous, "stapling."

From hence forth...

Billy Bypass!

john

[john11209]

Billy Staples hence forth known as....


Billy Bypass!



john

[Friday]

Thanks G, for the Upd@te.......Very happy to hear that he is doing well!

I will kick my knickers extra high opening night in his honor!

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/FridaySig1.gif>

Thanks to Jersey Rich for this Classay sig!

[trashy/cheezy30]

well billy did get some kind of stapling done
i think it's still safe to call him billy staples


go 5-letter-man go!!!
billy quote:
"im 265 lbs. thats not so fat for a man my age is it?"
fez quote:
"yes , yes it is"

"i am the lizard queen"
-lisa simpson

This message was edited by trashy/cheezy30 on 7-10-03 @ 9:41 AM

[Robyblaze]

Thanks for the good news Chairman. Could have used a little more cowbell....gotta have more cowbell......get well Billy

[Bestinshow]

Billy, Billy, Drinks are on the house!

<img src=http://publish.hometown.aol.com/gpigking/myhomepage/xxbis.gif?mtbrand=aol_us>

<marquee>98% I used to buy 2% but it tastes like water<marquee>

[ashley olsen]

Billy comes through again! i knew you wouldn't let us all down. something tells me that we haven't seen the last of Mr. Billy Staples...

-leslie j.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS MORE GOODER!

[The Chairman]

Aya and I visited Billy in the hospital tonight. He remains in some discomfort, although he is in excellent spirits. Billy is recovering ahead of schedule, and if all goes as planned, he may be discharged as early as tomorrow.

We shared many laughs; Billy still can't get over the fact that the first words he uttered upon awakening from anesthesia were "Your Mom's Box." This was again verified by his wife, a wonderful and supportive woman who has remained by his bedside throughout his hospital stay and who I had the pleasure of meeting for the first time this evening.

Billy will be convalescing at home for about a month. I know many of you have expressed a desire to contact him and send cards and other get well gestures. I will post his preferred method of contact by mail in the near future. He should be back on the Internet soon.

Billy again asked us to thank everyone for their well wishes, prayers, and supportive posts during the past few weeks. It means a lot to him that he has such a wonderful network of people who care about him.

Please continue to check this thread for periodic Upd@tes.

Grant

http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/blink1027stinkssig.jpg
I assassin down the avenue.
The Chairman uses Vic Firth sticks and skidmark sigs.
2%

[ChickenHawk]

Staples 4-Life. Get well soon!
<IMG SRC="http://www.m2officesupplies.ie/stapler.jpg">


<IMG SRC="http://homepage.mac.com/papahawk/.Pictures/chickenhawk3.gif">
(fluffernutter draws good birds.)

[yarpwizard]

Great news Billy...get well soon !!!

<img src=http://yarpwizard.50megs.com/images/ronfez3.gif>

A mind is a terrible thing to dyworf.

[RF Godfather]

Wow, great news Billy. Get better brotha! Our prayers are still with you during your recovery.

Thanks for the Upd@tes Chairman!

http://members.aol.com/nycsmart/images/tnasig.jpgEVOLUTION IS THE SOLUTION!
III

[gone]

jay and i just got back from the hospital.. billy was taking his walk.. hes doing fine but in alot of pain.... i got to meet his mother who is the sweetest lady in the world..


sorry this is very late.. but the thread it was in got locked...

C*U*N*T
~*~Moonbeam~*~
http://members.aol.com/tromatizedtodd/sigpics/inkgrrrl1.gif

[DrewP]

Great news!!!!

Billy I'm glad you are doing well and hope you have a speedy recovery. Hope to see around soon and let us know when you'll be back on the stage.

Good luck Brother.

<IMG SRC="http://www.geocities.com/drewp2112/sigpic_12_26_2002.jpg">

For being the #1 market, New York radio sucks. With out Ron and Fez and Opie and Anthony, we have nothing!!!

[The Chairman]

Billy is being discharged from the hospital today (Saturday.)

Looks like the Rubicon has been crossed.

Welcome home Billy!

cK

http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/blink1027stinkssig.jpg
I assassin down the avenue.
The Chairman uses Vic Firth sticks and skidmark sigs.
2%

[reeshy]

Thanks for the good news, Grant!!

Good luck, Billy!!

<IMG SRC=http://allyourtrekarebelongto.us/theguys.jpg>

[ChickenHawk]

Billy is being discharged from the hospital today
Was it at least an honorable discharge?

<IMG SRC="http://homepage.mac.com/papahawk/.Pictures/chickenhawk3.gif">
(fluffernutter draws good birds.)

This message was edited by ChickenHawk on 7-12-03 @ 4:09 AM

[vegeta]

So, what I can't call him fat ass anymore? Damn! Good luck to staples. Hope he doesn't ruin the surgery again. maybe now the slim Billy will get some Hollywood respect!

<center><a href="http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=yotaruvegeta"><img height=100 width=100 src="http://www.dbzfangirl.com/gallery/vegeta/vegeta29.jpg"></a>

[pennington]

Billy had the latest Gastric Bypass procedure, while reversing his previous, "stapling."


Does this mean he's going to change his name to "Billy Bypass"?

[Bob Impact]

Does this mean he's going to change his name to "Billy Bypass"?


Can we PLEASE let that joke die?

<center><img src="http://czm.racknine.net/images/bobimpactfog.gif"><br>
Thanks, FlufferNutter and CZM.

[The Chairman]

I am pleased to report that Billy went home today and is resting comfortably in bed.

I am told he had an eventful bowel movement that had a color that resembled that of the robes and cowl of the monks of the Capuchin order.

cK

http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/blink1027stinkssig.jpg
I assassin down the avenue.
The Chairman uses Vic Firth sticks and skidmark sigs.
2%

[FarAway]

That may actually be too much information.


Glad to hear he's home.

[The Chairman]

Today, Billy had a vision, brought on by his pain medication.

He was convinced that he was Moses. He left his house, raised his arms towards heaven and an east wind brought swarms of locusts into Hicksville, covering the sun, and devouring everything green that had escaped the hail and previous plagues.

Never in the history of mankind had there been such a devastating plague of locusts as this one. It brought complete ruin upon Long Island, which had already been thoroughly ravaged by the previous catastrophes.

Pharaoh sent for Billy, and implored him to pray to stop this plague. Billy complied, and sent a strong west wind that drove the locusts into the sea. When relief came, Pharaoh's obstinacy returned to him and he refused to liberate the people of Hicksville.

When the pain medication wore off, Billy had two helpings of lime Jell-O, then watched the movie Hard Eight. He then answered some emails and noticed his urine was particularly yellow due to the multivitamins he has to take as a result of his surgery.

cK1


http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/blink1027stinkssig.jpg
I assassin down the avenue.
The Chairman uses Vic Firth sticks and skidmark sigs.
2%

[A.J.]

I am told he had an eventful bowel movement that had a color that resembled that of the robes and cowl of the monks of the Capuchin order.

Great, but was it solid or fibrous?

<IMG SRC="http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/ajdcsig.jpg">

A Skidmark production.

[golfcourseguy]

When relief came, Pharaoh's obstinacy returned to him and he refused to liberate the people of Hicksville.


For god's sake Billy , Let my people au go-go

http://www.lirock.com/images/haspromo.jpg


" editing posts since day one"

This message was edited by golfcourseguy on 7-14-03 @ 9:41 AM

[HandymanBobo]

Do ytou even know what the Rubicon is?

"Just because I enjoy a drink once in a while doesn't make me a bad person"

[TooCute]

A river in northern Italy which, if crossed figuratively, means that there is no turning back. So what?

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/toocute2.gif>
!! 2% !!<font color=FBF2F7>

[SuperClerk]

Do ytou even know what the Rubicon is?


A convention of Rubick's Cubes. Ge Ge Ge

<IMG SRC="http://home.comcast.net/~wwfallon/RFnetSuperClerk2.jpg">

It's always fun until someone gets hurt.....and then it's just hilarious.

Fallon Rules!

[realkitalialera]

wasnt rubi-kahn the guy who stole Kirk's enterprise starship

Oh my god I am a trekky

quick someone get me too cute's vulcan ears

[The Chairman]

Do ytou even know what the Rubicon is?

At three posts, I'll let you slide, but why the fuck would I use the term if I didn't know what it meant?

I forget when I first learned the term and its history...maybe third grade (about five years after learning how to spell "you.")

The Chairman

http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/blink1027stinkssig.jpg
I assassin down the avenue.
The Chairman uses Vic Firth sticks and skidmark sigs.
2%

This message was edited by The Chairman on 7-14-03 @ 3:40 PM

[ashley olsen]

why is it always Hicksville? can't y'all pick on someone else for a change?

-leslie j.

ps: i think we all owe grant our thanks for keeping us Upd@ted on billy's situation. you, my man, are the true leader of "Team Billy"

FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS MORE GOODER!

[marygrace]

Post surgery I'm sure Billy is enjoying some very very nice painkillers. His doctor prescribed them....

[HandymanBobo]

Chairman-
My sincerest apologies. I meant no insult. I thoughty ou were making a reference to a comic book in which they have an entire discussion about the origin off the term "crossing the Rubicon"

The book is called "Y:The Last Man" and in a recent issue one character tells another "You've crossed the Rubicon this time" The other character responds with "You don't even know what the Rubicon is!"

In my own twisted little world, I thought maybe you were a fan of the comic too and thats why you made the statement. In retrospect, it was pretty fucking stupid and I probably should have just asked rather than trying to be witty.

My apologies, I'll never try and be witty again.



"Just because I enjoy a drink once in a while doesn't make me a bad person"

[The Chairman]

My apologies, I'll never try and be witty again.

Thanks for the explanation...and welcome to the Board, wit included!

Once you have been here for a while, you'll realize that you're much more likely to see me using a more erudite and obscure approach to humor. For better or worse, that's just me.

You whooshed me with the comic book reference...and for that, drinks and Caesar salad are on me next time we find ourselves in Gaul.

We'll get piss ass drunk and develop a rubicund complexion while discussing The Rubicon from both the riverine and comic perspectives.

Cheers.

cK


http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/blink1027stinkssig.jpg
I assassin down the avenue.
The Minneapolis Police are apparently following me though....
The Chairman uses Vic Firth sticks and skidmark sigs.
2%

[The Chairman]

Today Billy got upset...apparently someone used words that hurt. Someone referred to him as "my friend who underwent Bariatric surgery" and not just as "my friend."

He also lamented the fact that, in reality, the only painkiller his doctor prescribed him was liquid Children's Tylenol. One reason being that narcotic analgesics like Percocet are notoriously constipating, and straining during bowel movements would have an adverse effect on his healing process.

Nevertheless, Billy fantasized about the potential market for Children's Liquid Bubble Gum Flavored Oxycontin and then had some more lime Jell-O before sitting down to read Proust. He then wondered why it took so long for people to render the French "A la recherche du temps perdu" (known traditionally in English as Remembrance of Things Past), to the more accurate (although perhaps less poetic) translation - In Search of Lost Time.

http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/blink1027stinkssig.jpg
I assassin down the avenue.
The Minneapolis Police are apparently following me though....
The Chairman uses Vic Firth sticks and skidmark sigs.
2%

[Yerdaddy]

Which one of you is Niles and which one is Frasier?

<IMG SRC="http://czm.racknine.net/images/yersig.gif">
CZM productions

FREE ASS!

[HandymanBobo]

Thanks for understanding Chairman. Again, I meant no ill will.

"Just because I enjoy a drink once in a while doesn't make me a bad person"

[HandymanBobo]

Just to prove I'm not a total knob, please check out the panel from the comic I am talking about at

http://www.newsaic.com/fncylastmannotes02.html#crossingtherubicon
http://www.newsaic.com/picfncy10-1.jpg

"Just because I enjoy a drink once in a while doesn't make me a bad person"

[The Chairman]

Today's Billy Upd@te:

Billy got up today and was a little gassy. After finishing his broth he was alert enough to begin contemplating his future, specifically a career.

For about two hours he was ecstatic as he figured he would pursue a career as a major rap star.

The elation was ephemeral, however, as he soon realized that there is no word in the English language that rhymes with orange.

cK

http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/blink1027stinkssig.jpg
I assassin down the avenue.
The Minneapolis Police are apparently following me though....
The Chairman uses Vic Firth sticks and skidmark sigs.
2%

[FUNKMAN]

after the day of softball and actually seeing Billy's physical appearance(not judging anyone), it really struck me that if he dyed his hair blonde and cut it the way Chris Farley had it he could really pull off impersonating the characters Chris Farley used to play. Billy showed very good physical coordination at the game which looks to be needed for doing the various acts Chris would perform.

there was a picture posted recently of his smile and it reminded me of how Chris smiled when he was acting silly.

so far i haven't seen or heard of anyone impersonating what i would say is a Genius of a Comedian and it would be a compliment towards Chris and possibly successful for Billy...

just an idea...

Chairman,

Thanks for the Upd@te and wish Billy the best...

<img src="http://www.markfarner.com/2001tour/ribfest8_small.jpg">

[Bob Impact]

Billy got up today and was a little gassy.


It's nice to get Billy Upd@tes but that's just the complete wrong word to use for a full grown man's farts.

And I still pray every night for the fat man I never met. It never dawned on me until I relistened to the Airsick v Jay Mohr bit just how fucking brilliant Billy could be. Good god damn.

<center><img src="http://czm.racknine.net/images/bobimpactfog.gif"><br>
Thanks, FlufferNutter and CZM.

[keithy_19]

YAY! BILLY'S NUMBER 1!

Billy Billy, drinks are on, the house!



http://members.aol.com/thetoddsterlsp/sigpics/keithbobeefy1.gif

"Let not your heart be troubled"

[UnknownPD]

Billy waking up a "gassy". Glad to see the surgery didn't change him.

[mdr55]

What's Billy doing now? Where is he working at? And is he just saying "No".


Thanks.

The TRUCE is over and the Gloves are off.

Go FUCK YOURSELF!