setting up a friend... is this wrong?

[Arienette]

ok, so today i got hit on by this guy. he happened to be good looking and have an excellent accent. because of the situation, i wasnt able to just leave, so i talked to him. i was too embarrased for myself and for him to tell him that i have a boyfriend, and am not looking.... even when he gave me his phone number.

the thing is, i think he seems like a really nice guy. and i think he and one of my very close friends would get along very, very well.

but i'm not sure what to do...

first, is it completely wrong of me to call this guy up and explain that i'm taken, but that i know someone who he might really like? to me, it seems like a compliment, that, although i'm unavailable, i think he's a good enough guy to date a close friend. but maybe i'm wrong. i'm not looking to hurt anyone's feelings.

second, is it wrong where my friend is concerned? i don't want to seem like i'm saying that she's second best or anything, or that i'm giving her my left overs. it just happens that she's single and could stand to meet a nice guy. should the fact that i happened to meet him first change that? also, i think that he's the type of guy that she might really go for, had she met him in different circumstances. so, i don't know.

what do you guys think? should i try to see if they're interested in meeting one another, or should i just mind my own business?

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aribagel.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>imagine what you want, and then hold on to that thought<br>'cause that's as close as it will ever come</center>

This message was edited by Arienette on 7-27-03 @ 11:14 PM

[FUNKMAN]

i think that although he may hit it off with your friend he will always think about being with you...

you made the first impression...

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[Tall_James]

i think that although he may hit it off with your friend he will always think about being with you...

I agree with that.

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[FUNKMAN]

and i think this guy made a "fairly" deep impression and you are just looking to keep him close by...

"just in case"

then again I've been wrong before,,,,,once

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[mdr55]

....happened to be good looking and have an excellent accent. that i have a boyfriend, and am not looking.... even when i gave him me his phone number.
..... like a really nice guy..

but i'm not sure what to do...

first, is it completely wrong of me to call this guy up..... it seems like a compliment, that, although i'm unavailable, i think he's a good enough guy to date but maybe i'm wrong. i'm not looking to hurt anyone's feelings.


Hmmmmm....why did you accept the guy's number in the first place? Was it for your friend....or YOU?
Does your bouyfirned know that a guy gave you his number?

Back back to your question.....if you have known this guy for some time, set them up. If not, throw that number away. Besides you're friend might ask you, "If he's so great, how come you didn't go out with him?".

P.S. Love your sig pic. Does that guys still put hearts on your order?

[Arienette]

and i think this guy made a "fairly" deep impression and you are just looking to keep him close by...

"just in case"

then again I've been wrong before,,,,,oncewell, you can do a re-count now and make that twice. you couldn't be further from the truth.

first, and most importantly, i am completely happy with my boyfriend. there is no "just in case" in my mind at all. i know that i want to be with him, and i don't need to consider anyone else. period.

second, if i did want to keep a guy around for that reason, i would not set him up with my friend. wht do you think, that if i decided to impliment this so-called "just in case" plan, i'd go ahead and take the guy away from my friend? great, so not only am i an asshole girlfriend, but i'm a stupid bitch, too. very nice.

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aribagel.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>imagine what you want, and then hold on to that thought<br>'cause that's as close as it will ever come</center>

[Death Metal Moe]

Does your bouyfirned know that a guy gave you his number?


Yea, she's keeping it a closely guarded secret.

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[Arienette]

nice editing job there, mdr... luckily, since no one on the board knows how to scroll up, they'll never discover your dastardly plan.

anyone else who is planning to come into this thread and bash me can just not bother, i'm not interested. my boyfriend knows the whole story; i am not interested in anyone but him, and he knows that. i was trying to ask a question and get genuine answers, but i guess i expected too much.

thanks for nothing.

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aribagel.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>imagine what you want, and then hold on to that thought<br>'cause that's as close as it will ever come</center>

[Arienette]

grrrr

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aribagel.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>imagine what you want, and then hold on to that thought<br>'cause that's as close as it will ever come</center>

This message was edited by Arienette on 7-27-03 @ 11:16 PM

[FUNKMAN]

uh oh! she's getting nervous...

notice the double post, hand must be shakin"

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[Arienette]

uh oh! she's getting nervous...

notice the double post, hand must be shakin"uh oh! why don't you shut the fuck up, asshole?

feel free to lock this up, mods.

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aribagel.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>imagine what you want, and then hold on to that thought<br>'cause that's as close as it will ever come</center>

[FUNKMAN]

uh oh! why don't you shut the fuck up, asshole?


you're ABSOLUTELY right! SORRY!

sincerely, My Apologies!

I shouldnt've had that extra cup of coffee tonight.

Didn't mean any harm...

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[mdr55]

OK......if I'm that guy and you call, here's what I'd be thinking:

1. I knew she was interested in me. (He shoots, he scores)

After you tell me you want to set me up with your friend:

2. Hmmm....(how does she look like)..Yeah sure why not, I got nothing to lose. (But I'll still be keeping my eye on you)

[Death Metal Moe]

Oh come now Arienette. A few people gave you a serious answer, and then a few jokes were Dr0pped. I think mdr was the only one to suggest you were up to anything.

I didn't say anything about it because I have no real advice. But my gut says Don't Bother.

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[mdr55]

I think mdr was the only one to suggest you were up to anything.


All I was implying was that if the shoe was on the other foot and it was the guy getting some girl's phone number, how would it LOOK?


Back to your point. Like I said before, if you have known this guy for some time, set them up. If not, like Moe said...Don't Bother.

[FUNKMAN]

I think mdr was the only one to suggest you were up to anything.


you're right Moe, gotta watch that MDR... shady

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[FUNKMAN]

i tried to help setup my ex-lead guitar player and it turned into a mistake. my wife had a very nice, very pretty lady friend at work and it seemed to be a good situation being they were a similar age and they both were not seeing anyone.

It just happened to turn out that the my friend was a bit of a psycho. he had talked with the girl at my wife's job over the phone and they started talking about how each other looked, face and body. he mentioned he was an ass man and she said she was well endowed upstairs but had a slightly flat butt.

He started to make accusations towards my wife like "what does you wife think, i'm only good looking enough for a girl with a slightly flat butt"

so in this case he did turn out to be an "ass" man and it's why he became my ex-lead guitar player...

they're were other things said but i'm starting to fade right now, been a long day

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[IrishAlkey]

I gave ADF my number at Bar 9.

*wink*

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[mikeyboy]

I say go forward with the set up. If it doesn't work out, most likely the worst thing that will happen is two people sit across from each other on an awkward date. Big deal. On the upside, the two of them might really hit it off. Where's the harm?

Oh, and I wouldn't be so hard on FUNKMAN. He means well.


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[FUNKMAN]

Oh, and I wouldn't be so hard on FUNKMAN. He means well.


Thanks Mikeyboy...

I now realize how serious she takes her relationship, which is great. I did a little over-analyzing and that double post couldn't have come at a worser time(for me)... I hope she can accept my apology!



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[Arienette]

all is forgiven, it's fine. but this whole exchange has shown me that i should not try setting these two up. i don't want this guy thinking any of the things that have been expressed here. i don't know him well enough to take that chance. i guess my friend's on her own again...

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aribagel.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>imagine what you want, and then hold on to that thought<br>'cause that's as close as it will ever come</center>

[FUNKMAN]

all is forgiven, it's fine


Thank You!

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[Reephdweller]

i guess my friend's on her own again...


What if you were to tell your friend about this guy and tell her all the positives you think he has and how you think the two of them should hook up. If she seems interested, then ask her if it would be okay to give the guy her phone number, or arrange a meeting for the two of them? You could then tell the guy that while you're not interested in him, that you have a friend who you think he should meet. If he seems interested, give him her number and let the two of them sort it out. Just an idea.

Personally, people have tried to set me up with lots of girls over the years, but I've never really cared for that. I like to find someone on my own. Maybe that's just me, but that's how I feel about it.

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[Reephdweller]

Also, I kind've see where mdr was going with what he said about you getting the guys number and how it may look, but you and your boyfriend know how strong your relationship is I'm sure. The key is trust, if my girlfriend had done the same thing I wouldn't think anything of it because I trust her.

If there is no basis for trust in the relationship then what is the purpose of being with that person (other than that the sex is awesome maybe ;) ). I think it's the key to any healthy relationship.

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<font size="1" color="red">
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time Im done</marquee> </font>

This message was edited by reefdwella on 7-30-03 @ 9:59 AM

[grlNIN]

Doesn't seem like a good thing to do in my personal opinion. Setting friends up rarely works and there are alot of good side effects but also negative ones.

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