Fox Piss

[FUNKMAN]

no, not the sweet nectar of our Board Babes but actual, authenthic, genuine, 100% Fox Piss. I just so happened to get some of this stuff on my hand today and let me tell ya, it STANK! How did I manage to get Fox Piss on my hand you ask, well here goes:

last year i cleared an old play area my kids used, it's approx 24ftx16ft, so i got the bright idea of putting in a little cornfield... the area was near a tree so it took a day or so of bustin my balls to clear out tree roots. I turned the soil(by hand and shovel adding compost and humus. I then planted 90 starter corn plants, they were about 8 inches high.

let's just say a month later i had 5 left, FUCKING SQUIRRELS got 85 of them and the 5 left looked like shit that even the squirrels past them up SO

this year i did things a little different:

> i rented a tiller(you still bust your hump) but it/you does a nice job. mixed in about 500lbs of compost and humus, raked it up nice and level but still loose
> i put weed block down and only cut out 4inch by 16ft sections and placed my corn in nice rows and not having to pick weeds all summer
> put up a plastic chickenwire fence all aroud(3feet high) and made a nice gate out of pressure treated wood
> 3 fake plastic owls
> a couple boxes of moth balls(heard it may keep them away)

So everythings going real nice, this time they got about 5 out of the 90 but the rest HAD grown to 4ft/5ft tall and the corn WAS looking good

notice i said HAD and WAS

> these little rats with fuzzy tails have gotten all but 8 little ears of corn that my wife picked this weekend and grilled(she said they were delicious)
I didn't get to eat not ONE frikin ear of corn. This year the squirrels actually waited for the corn to grow before feasting...

Yes, i went out with the beebee rifle, and i threw sticks but i haven't gotten one yet. BUT i'm on the lookout for rattraps and i'm looking to get at least one of them...

I went to FRANKS Nursery today to buy netting that i will put around the corn next year and i heard about fox urine being a good deterrant and they had some. The urine came in a small plastic bottle and as i was carrying it the packaging opened up and the bottle fell. Why i'm not sure but it leaked out all over the sides of the bottle and i didn't see it so i picked it up and it got all over my hands.
I washed with dish detergent and there is still a faint smell of it.

all i can say is GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK...

thanks for listening and i'll let you know how next year turns out...

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

sig by ADF...

[Snoogans]

FUNK, i got your problem solved. Hop in the car and take a ride down to this little place called the supermarket. If you go inside you'll find that you can get full fresh cobbs of corn, or even get it canned and creamed. No squirrels, no tilling, no fox piss, and none of this anger you have about not gettin to eat any. plus i bet you spent way more doing all that shit to grow 8 cobbs of corn when you coulda bought that many for like 10 bucks

http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/Snoogans.jpg
Silent Bob you one rude motherfucker, she like to go down on you, suck you. line up 2 other guys and make like a circus seal


eww you fuckin faggots, i hate guys, i LOOOOVE WOMEN!

[SatCam]

why the fuck are you growing corn in your backyard?

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[FUNKMAN]

see, i knew you guys would understand ...

it's like Dennis Leary said in his song, i'm a suburbanite slob and an ASSHOLE...

i don't know, i like to garden and for some reason i got this idea to put in a cornfield. i thought it would be kind of cool because the plants grow nice and tall and the family loves corn on the cob(to be honest i could take it or leave it)
There is a sense of satisfaction when you grow your own and they turn out well.



<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

sig by ADF...

[Snoogans]

i don't know, i like to garden and for some reason i got this idea to put in a cornfield.


see it isnt gardening, or even growing fruit and vegatables. its corn. corn is one of the more abundunt crops in NJ, NJ white corn happens to taste the best, and PA is just as full of it as we are, so its not very expensive. Tomatoes, Potatoes, other stuff ok, its just ive never met anyone with a conrfield. just get some chickens then or something

http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/Snoogans.jpg
Silent Bob you one rude motherfucker, she like to go down on you, suck you. line up 2 other guys and make like a circus seal


eww you fuckin faggots, i hate guys, i LOOOOVE WOMEN!

[nickeye]

last year i cleared an old play area my kids used, it's approx 24ftx16ft, so i got the bright idea of putting in a little cornfield


Is this heaven?



<img src="http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/182800/eyeblink7.gif" width=230 height=100 alt="Ow. Quit it." title="Ow. Quit it.">

[Death Metal Moe]

I turned the soil(by hand and shovel adding compost and hummus.


mmmmmmmm. Hummus.
http://home.comcast.net/~lucymonroe/images/hummus.jpg

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[ADF]

100% Fox Piss. I just so happened to get some of this stuff on my hand today and let me tell ya, it STANK!


That's funny... you'd think it'd smell great!

<center><img src = "http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/adfbaroque.gif"><br>The boy with the thorn in his side.</center>

[shamus mcfitzy]

{damn it the hummus joke is taken}

Man, cornfields are awesome. If i had any will i know that i would put a cornfield in my backyard. And I would just hide in it and jump out and attack my neighbors. Man, i need to get me some of that will........

[monsterone]

funkman make brain bad hurt...

http://espn.go.com/i/page2/brain/frank_thomas.gif

keep it up you friggin lunatic.

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[Snoogans]

funkman make brain bad hurt...

woulda been a histerical joke if not for the fact that frank thomas is the big hurt, not the bad hurt

http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/Snoogans.jpg
Silent Bob you one rude motherfucker, she like to go down on you, suck you. line up 2 other guys and make like a circus seal


eww you fuckin faggots, i hate guys, i LOOOOVE WOMEN!

[Death Metal Moe]

why the fuck are you growing corn in your backyard?


To run backward through naked?

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[ChickenHawk]

And when I saw the title of this topic, I thought it was about a new reality series on the Fox network...

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(fluffernutter draws good birds.)

[FUNKMAN]

guys,

your strong support in this devastating matter is sincerely appreciated...

the hummus catch is pretty cool... my wife's was born in Syria and we eat the stuff all the time, just need a little tahini or taheni, fuck I'm not sure how you spell it and some chickpeas... i make sure it gets a bunch of garlic too...

frank thomas's brain kind of throws me for a loop along with the "heaven" question

there's one thing for sure, i'm gonna have me a fruitful cornfield next year and there's gonna be some fresh squirrelmeat if anybody's intersetd...

and don't think i didn't catch that "running backwards" comment MOE




;)

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

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[nickeye]

...throws me for a loop along with the "heaven" question


People will come to Funk's backyard. People will most definitely come.

Better?


<img src="http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/182800/eyeblink7.gif" width=230 height=100 alt="Ow. Quit it." title="Ow. Quit it.">

[FUNKMAN]

People will come to Funk's backyard. People will most definitely come.


gotcha "wink wink" but don't tell the rest of the board, let's keep them guessing "wink wink"

were they from heaven or hell, i thought they had some of the guys that bet on baseball there from the Whitesox(?)

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

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[nickeye]

gotcha "wink wink"


Don't wink, kid.


<img src="http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/182800/eyeblink7.gif" width=230 height=100 alt="Ow. Quit it." title="Ow. Quit it.">

[mikeyboy]

Ever had fresh picked corn? It's always much better than anything I'v ever gotten in the supermarket, so more power to ya, oh MAN of FUNK. If it'll help, I'll come up to your place and take a wiz on your garden. No bottles, no mess, no stink.



Is this heaven?



No, it's Iowa.


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[Melrapuo]

just go to a farmer's market and buy your corn there. its better than at the supermarket cuz all the corn there is frozen and it tastes like crap. farmer's markets have their corn fresh so it tastes great. growing your own will only frustrate you even more.

and when you're done eating your great, recently bought corn, you can set a trap for the squirrels, shoot one of them with the beebee gun, and pour fox piss on it, just as a lesson for all the other squirrels to learn.


The urine came in a small plastic bottle and as i was carrying it the packaging opened up and the bottle fell. Why i'm not sure but it leaked out all over the sides of the bottle and i didn't see it so i picked it up and it got all over my hands.


Funkman is now funky.

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"I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar."

Ah...the greatness of Jay & Silent Bob

[FUNKMAN]

If it'll help, I'll come up to your place and take a wiz on your garden. No bottles, no mess, no stink.


Mikeyboy,

like i always said "you're alright" and you're even moving up. Now you're like "one in two dozen or so" Before you know it you'll be hitting that million
;p

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

sig by ADF...

[FUNKMAN]

Funkman is now funky.


got that right Mel, it was like as if all that Fox ate was asparagus...

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

sig by ADF...

[Snoogans]

and when you're done eating your great, recently bought corn, you can set a trap for the squirrels, shoot one of them with the beebee gun, and pour fox piss on it, just as a lesson for all the other squirrels to learn.


a friend of mine bought a pellet gun yesterday. and whats the first thing he does, unloads like 7 pellets into this defensless rabbit. the rabbit was just walkin along the bushes. i thought it was kinda dick so asked for the gun to "shoot something" i let him have 3 or 4 welts on his gut.

http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/Snoogans.jpg
Silent Bob you one rude motherfucker, she like to go down on you, suck you. line up 2 other guys and make like a circus seal


eww you fuckin faggots, i hate guys, i LOOOOVE WOMEN!

[fluffernutter]

Funk, I feel your pain. Seriously. I applaud the fact that you are growing corn in your backyard. I wish I had a yard to grow it in cause I would eat the shit year round. Corn on the Cob is probably my favorite thing about summer.

I asked my Granpop to grow some and he scoffed at me like I was some sort of idiot for suggesting such a notion. They have no vermin in their backyard either. Everytime I ask about COTC I get yeled at saying it is not in season. I thought Summer was the season and if it is not, when the FUCK can I expect some Corn on the fucking Cob!?!

Kindest Regards, Your Fluff

[SatCam]

I hear Funkman has nice ears

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[FUNKMAN]

Funk, I feel your pain. Seriously.


Fluff,

appreciate the support. i feel good about next year and a good harvest. i think the netting i bought and sprinkling a little of the fox's pee will do the trick. it's some consolation that my broccoli came out great(1st time i tried it) and the tomatas are looking better than ever.

i think the groundhog got my cucumbers though. they've been nibbled down to nothing.

Funk

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

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[SatCam]

Funk, where the fuck do you live? Minnesota?

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[Melrapuo]

a friend of mine bought a pellet gun yesterday. and whats the first thing he does, unloads like 7 pellets into this defensless rabbit. the rabbit was just walkin along the bushes. i thought it was kinda dick so asked for the gun to "shoot something" i let him have 3 or 4 welts on his gut.

did he kill the rabbit? cuz thats just fuckin' cruel. i said what i said only as a joke. i didn't really mean to actually shoot the squirrel. i mean, if funkman could sneak up on a squirrel and pour the fox piss on it, that would be good enough.

and i knew a neighbor once who lived near my grandmother's house and he would shoot geese with a pellet gun when they got to his property. i wouldn't have minded if i had the chance to take a few shots at him either.

o, and if u said its one of your friends who did this, i think you should get new friends. or at least set up once of those "hunting for bambi" things near your house. just change it from bambi to "hunting for cruel assholes". you could make a lotta money off that AND feel good about it too.

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"I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar."

Ah...the greatness of Jay & Silent Bob

[FUNKMAN]

just like to everyone know that one of the culprits has been apprehended... the rest remain at large...

http://www.wildbirds.com/images/squirrel.jpg

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