John Ritter's death a terrorist plot?

[GaryWyze]

Los Angeles, California (UPI) - Rumors of foul play surrounding last week's death of sitcom star John Ritter have taken a bizarre turn, with an informant for the United States Treasury Department claiming that the Islamic terrorist group Hammas was responsible. What began as future fodder for urban legend seems to now have an air of validity to it, and even the State Department seems to be taking these allegations seriously.

The story has it that sometime this past summer, Palestinian terrorist group Hammas, and other radical Islamic Fundamentalist groups, complied a list of celebrities and sports stars they thought to be American popular icons. Rewards, ranging from $25,000.00 all the way through $500,000.00 for the death of talk show host Oprah Winfrey, was offered, as well as a bonus should the murder take place on 9/11, the anniversary of the attacks on N.Y.C.'s Twin Towers and the Pentagon. Actor Ritter, who only days before received a clean bill of health during an annual physical, died this past Thursday, on September the 11th, of a massive coronary.

When reached for comment, a spokesman for Tom Ridge, Director of Homeland Security, would only say that their office was aware of the story and is in the process of investigating its legitimacy. That statement, and the absence of a more dismissive tone, has sent Hollywood's elite into a frenzy.

On Monday, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, producers of the Emmy awards, scheduled to take place this coming Sunday, September 21st,, announced a massive increase in security. Cable Network HBO, which counts more then a dozen nominees to be in their employ, are said to be hiring former members of the Israeli Massad to provide security for both its stars in attendance and the Network's after-party at Beverly Hill's Four Season hotel.

When asked what, if any, extra security measures FOX Broadcasting, the network airing the Emmys would be taking, spokesman Kenny Allen said "you want to pretend we're robots?"

What exactly that meant is anybody's guess. Baba Booey. Baba Booey.
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This message was edited by GaryWyze on 9-16-03 @ 2:03 PM

[mdr55]

When asked what, if any, extra security measures FOX Broadcasting, the network airing the Emmys would be taking, spokesman Kenny Allen said "you want to pretend we're robots?



I'm cracking up right now. Good one.

Think HAPPY thoughts. Welcome EVERYONE! Ron and Fez love you..............No this is not a cult.

This message was edited by mdr55 on 9-16-03 @ 2:08 PM

[Mike Teacher]

No problem.

All the terrorists had to do was open up John's chest; get to the aortic arch, and place in something to cause the tear that led to his death. And do it so no one would notice that John Ritter had a foot long scar on his sternum. Including John Ritter.

Piece of Cake!

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[ChickenHawk]

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This message was edited by ChickenHawk on 9-16-03 @ 4:35 PM

[A.J.]

The story has it that sometime this past summer, Palestinian terrorist group Hammas, and other radical Islamic Fundamentalist groups, complied a list of celebrities and sports stars they thought to be American popular icons.

So they chose John Ritter. Do these guys think it's 1978?

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[TheMojoPin]

When asked what, if any, extra security measures FOX Broadcasting, the network airing the Emmys would be taking, spokesman Kenny Allen said "you want to pretend we're robots?"

Gary's officially my hero of the day.

John Ritter's death a terrorist plot?

Because if we as a nation do not acknowledge the tit-filled comedy of "Three's Company" in patriotic tribute, well, then the terrorists have WON, goddammit.

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[shamus mcfitzy]

a man dies and you joke....get AIDS and die

ok i take it back, i just didn't find it funny. I'm more mad that i wasted time reading it then i am that you made fun of John Ritter's death.

This message was edited by shamus mcfitzy on 9-16-03 @ 2:59 PM

[TheMojoPin]

A man jokes and you wish death on him.

For SHAME.

What would Ritter think?!?

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[Furtherman]

What would Ritter think?!?


Probably that you're in the kitchen trying to "stick it in" because it's "hot and ready".

This message was edited by Furtherman on 9-16-03 @ 2:34 PM

[TheMojoPin]

Probably that you're in the kitchen trying to "stick it in" because it's "hot and ready".

"W-w-w-WHAAAA-?!? I KNEW it!!!"

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[Recyclerz]

Do these guys think it's 1978?


I think they'd be happier with 1278.


I'm on board with this conspiracy theory. Just look at the evidence:

Icon of American Music.

http://www.cmt.com/img/johnny.cash/johnnycash-106-189x182.jpg

Dead


Author of the sacrilegious, probably Zionist-inspired song Mohammed's Radio

http://espn-i.starwave.com/media/pg2/2001/0529/photo/a_zevon_i.jpg

Dead

Is that "killer" hurricane aimed at Mecca or Medina? I don't think so.

C'mon kids, it's time to jump on the leading bandwagon. As the Ottomans used to say

The Koran, Tribute or Death!

Allah Akhbar, y'all ;)




There ain't no asylum here.
King Solomon, he never lived 'round here.

[DJEvelEd]

I read an A.P. article about John Ritter's secret battle with HIV and EVERYONE covering it up. (rightly so)

He DID look really bad for the last few years. Was it age or AIDS?

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May your Kum Krusted Kocks be Konstantly Kovered in Kunt.

[GaryWyze]

[color=purple]The terrorist gave him AIDS?!?!?

Was it because they didn't find him funny?

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This message was edited by GaryWyze on 9-16-03 @ 3:55 PM

[A.J.]

He DID look really bad for the last few years. Was it age or AIDS?

I thought it was because of a bad face lift and hair dye job.

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[TheMojoPin]

I read an A.P. article about John Ritter's secret battle with HIV and EVERYONE covering it up. (rightly so)

"Rightly so?"

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[DJEvelEd]

"Rightly so?"


I'm glad they covered up the HIV story. Look what happened when everyone found out that Bob Hope was a rapist?










And yes the terrorists gave him AIDS. Everyone knows that Muslims suck/sit down on dick.



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This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 9-17-03 @ 6:27 AM

[Reephdweller]

...spokesman Kenny Allen said "you want to pretend we're robots?"



Nooooooooooooo I'm the one who says things!!

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[sr71blackbird]

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What exactly that meant is anybody's guess. Baba Booey. Baba Booey.



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Many Thanks Soup!

[TheMojoPin]

I'm glad they covered up the HIV story. Look what happened when everyone found out that Bob Hope was a rapist?

CURSE YOU, HOLLYWOOD!!!

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