Dumbass question...

[Johnny Fontane]

Let's say you're a guy, and you're in the hospital, and you can't use your hands because you're in a body cast or something.

You can't jerk off and you have no girlfriend to take care of you. So it's not a matter of being bored or horny, it's a physiological problem - your balls hurt.

Do they work this out for you in the hospital? I know this sounds ridiculous, but if you're a guy, I'm sure there have been times when you jerked off because you had to.

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"You think you're God Almighty, but you know what you are? You're a cheap, lousy, dirty, stinkin' mug! And I'm glad what I done to you, ya hear that? I'm glad what I done!"

[shamus mcfitzy]

what the hell?!?!? You are assuming that a man can't live without having an orgasm. And that's not true. So no, a naughty nurse will not jerk you off. That was a dumbass question. And you are weak-willed for asking it. :)

[walking joint]

but if you're a guy, I'm sure there have been times when you jerked off because you had to.


just about every morning.

but to answer your question i would think they do nothing for you. you are in a bodycast so its not like you are going to get up and do something crazy because you can't jerk off. but it would be nice if every few hours a nice looking nurse would come in and ask you if you "needed some help"

[Melrapuo]

Let's say you're a guy, and you're in the hospital, and you can't use your hands because you're in a body cast or something.

You can't jerk off and you have no girlfriend to take care of you. So it's not a matter of being bored or horny, it's a physiological problem - your balls hurt.

Do they work this out for you in the hospital? I know this sounds ridiculous, but if you're a guy, I'm sure there have been times when you jerked off because you had to.

That costs extra. Check with your insurance agency to see if they cover this.

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[Johnny Fontane]

You are assuming that a man can't live without having an orgasm.


No, I didn't say that. I'm just thinking that it would be horrible to be in a cast and on top of that your balls hurt.

http://www.grandinotizie.it/image/g/000/00040.jpg

"You think you're God Almighty, but you know what you are? You're a cheap, lousy, dirty, stinkin' mug! And I'm glad what I done to you, ya hear that? I'm glad what I done!"

[sr71blackbird]

I keep my pubes shaved for just this type of scenario.

Im guessing they would "adjust" you if you asked politely. What are they gonna do? Rub Icy-Hot into your ball bag?


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Many Thanks Soup!

[shamus mcfitzy]

ha, you think hospitals care about your pain? That pain is just your body saying your will is weak. Yeah you get nothing, you lose. Good day sir.

[mdr55]

I think I'll get that sponge bath now, nurse Suzie. Can you rub my privates too while your at it? Oh yeah, like that.
!!!Splat!!!
Umm....sorry about that. But I feel better now.

Think HAPPY thoughts. Welcome EVERYONE! Ron and Fez love you..............No this is not a cult.

[FUNKMAN]

i think you're looking for the Head Nurse...


that jokes old as dirt....

<img src="http://www.markfarner.com/2001tour/ribfest8_small.jpg">

[Death Metal Moe]

Just look for that Asian nurse..............

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/CreepySig.gif>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
How can this poison be the dream of my soul?
How did my fantasies take complete control.......yea.

[monsterone]

i'm sure the catheter and pissing in a bag thing probably negates and thoughts of batching. and if your in a body cast, you next issue of meds supersedes those thoughts also...


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[Death Metal Moe]

Yea, that's a very good point too. If I was sick enough to be in the hospital, I might not be feeling that horny. I might be concerned about my condition or just sick enough to not care.

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/CreepySig.gif>
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How can this poison be the dream of my soul?
How did my fantasies take complete control.......yea.

[PanterA]

You'll have to dive into the plushie perversion

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[GaryWyze]

[color=purple]What, you've never heard of the <i>head</i> nurse before?

EDIT: Funkman has obviously figured out a way to read my mind. The mods should do something about this!!

<marquee><b>Now let's see what some of the critics are saying about GaryWyze... Ron Bennington, one 1/2 of the radio duo Ron & Fez: <u>"Gary Wyze is a funny, funny comedian"</u> ... IrishAlkey, one 1/2 of the drunken sex duo Alkey & Silera: <u>"Gary = God"</u> ... Rory Hampton, former radio producer and well know Aryan: "GaryWyze IS the Godfather!"</u> ... PanterA, marijuana smoking postal worker: <u>He's a pompous ass</u> ... EastSideDave: <u>Forget Jesus, GaryWyze is my savior</u> ... Chairman Kaga, Chairman of the RF.NET Message Board: <u>"Gary is hysterical, absolutely hilarious, he truly is The Don</u> ... Winnie Copper, best female vocalist of the entire RF.NET Message Board: <u>Gary is a total genius, call me a Garyite, I am converting to Garyism.</u></b></marquee>

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This message was edited by GaryWyze on 9-18-03 @ 2:33 AM

[IrishAlkey]

You don't get horny when you're stuck in a hospital.

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[reeshy]

Oh yea, I'm sure if you ask nicely, all the nurses would be willing to give you a hand. That's what theyre there for. They just live to jerk you off. They have nothing else to do then to wait for your hormones to kick in!!

<IMG SRC=http://i.cnn.net/cnn/2002/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/24/ray.davies/vert.davies.jpg>

[golfcourseguy]

Make sure you sign the "release forms".
or
Have you considered going to the vet? Mine sells these:

http://www.catsincharge.co.uk/images/scratching-post.jpg

" editing posts since day one"

[sr71blackbird]

I dont think he was necessarily talking about jacking you off. Like, lets say that one of your balls is twisted kind of uncomfortably. Know what I mean? Is it wrong to ask a nurse to kind of pull it a little and to the side? If you reallyreally had to ask a nurse, what kind of nurse would you ask?


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Many Thanks Soup!

[neoprosto]

My brother was in traction for 4 weeks, and during that time a nurse squeezed out a zit on his tush.

[center]<img src="http://204.138.60.10/images/actors/saturdaynightlive/gildaradner.jpg" width=100 length=100>
<marquee behavior=alternate><Color="brown" bold>Catch as catch
catch as catch
can
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[Recyclerz]

Oh yea, I'm sure if you ask nicely, all the nurses would be willing to give you a hand. That's what theyre there for. They just live to jerk you off. They have nothing else to do then to wait for your hormones to kick in!!


Methinks Reeshy is getting a little nervous that he didn't read all the fine print on the job description before he started his new career. ;)

There ain't no asylum here.
King Solomon, he never lived 'round here.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

This thread reminds me of a joke.

A wealthy old woman considers donating a large sum of money to a hospital. The hospital administrator is more than happy to show her around.

On their tour, she looks into a room and sees a man masturbating furiously. She is startled and the administrator says, "Don't be alarmed. This man has a very serious condition in which his testicles fill up with semen too fast. If he doesn't masturbate often, his testicles will explode."

They continue the tour. A few rooms down, she sees a nurse giving a patient a blow job. "Same condition, " the administrator says, "better health plan."

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I always thought that if I held you tightly
You'd always love me like you did back then

[mikeyboy]

Dumbass question...


There are no dumbass questions, just dumbasses who ask them...


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[Bill From Yorktown]

You are assuming that a man can't live without having an orgasm.


No, I didn't say that. I'm just thinking that it would be horrible to be in a cast and on top of that your balls hurt.

http://www.grandinotizie.it/image/g/000/00040.jpg

"You think you're God Almighty, but you know what you are? You're a cheap, lousy, dirty, stinkin' mug! And I'm glad what I done to you, ya hear that? I'm glad what I done!"

you may not have meant it, but you implied it with "had to" - rather than "wanted to". Yes I understand the compulsion, but the reality is it is a want to not a had to, no matter what I tell the wife when she's not in the mood :-)

<IMG SRC="http://hometown.aol.com/billb914/sigpic.gif">

[golfcourseguy]

Do they work this out for you in the hospital?


Don't be a boor, work this into conversation when they test your blood, "Are you going to give me a lab dance?"

Edit: I realize this is a hypothetical question, perhaps you're confusing :
candy striper - the volunteers at hospitals
and
candy strippers- the extra "P" is for pleasure

I blame Roger Corman & that minx Robin Mattson who's stirring performance blurred the lines a bit.

<IMG SRC="http://www.reel.com/content/boxart/vhs/44053.GIF"width =100>





" editing posts since day one"

This message was edited by golfcourseguy on 9-18-03 @ 8:09 PM

[sr71blackbird]

Don't be a boor,



http://www.armada-oamaru.co.nz/images/boar.jpg


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Many Thanks Soup!

[Heavy]

boar

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[Recyclerz]

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Boer




There ain't no asylum here.
King Solomon, he never lived 'round here.

[neoprosto]

http://finanz.math.tu-graz.ac.at/~mlamb/pics/travel/usa/budweiser.jpg

[center]<img src="http://204.138.60.10/images/actors/saturdaynightlive/gildaradner.jpg" width=100 length=100>
<marquee behavior=alternate><Color="brown" bold>Catch as catch
catch as catch
can
anybody in their right mind can see
you and me</bold> </marquee>

[sr71blackbird]

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Boa


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Many Thanks Soup!

[Recyclerz]

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Bohr







There ain't no asylum here.
King Solomon, he never lived 'round here.

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BORE

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[sr71blackbird]

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boa


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Many Thanks Soup!

[FUNKMAN]

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bona

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[sr71blackbird]

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boney


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Many Thanks Soup!

[SilentSpic]

Dumbass question


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beater

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[Reephdweller]

Boa


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Larry Bowa

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[mikeyboy]

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Bono

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[reeshy]

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[mikeyboy]

-----

This message was edited by mikeyboy on 9-22-03 @ 11:25 PM

[mikeyboy]

---

This message was edited by mikeyboy on 9-22-03 @ 11:26 PM

[mikeyboy]

Yeah, Edie Falco. Go with that. I do suck at the internet.

This message was edited by mikeyboy on 9-22-03 @ 11:28 PM