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The Sad Story Of "The Pukechewers" Band [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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DJEvelEd
12-18-2003, 04:10 PM
This is the sad story of 3 young men trying to climb out of the bowels of life and make something out of themselves. It all started back in 1989 when I answered an ad for a singer. I had played some, but was never in a band with others. I told them I played bass & drums, so I showed up with my Peavey lefty bass and wound up singing & playing bass/keys. It was fairly easy considering we were playing loud raunchy country punk rock. We called ourselves "The Pukechewers" and started playing around Edison/Old Bridge. It was Ritchie Q. on guitar and Gary B. on drums. We jammed for a long time and had lots of groupies. We had songs like:
"Stinkfinger"
"Sitting in Hell With Hitler"
"Bowel, Bong, Bung"
"Eat My Shit"
"Marijuana"
"Kunt"
"Fuck The Family"
"Cocksuckingmotherfuckingsonofabitch"
"Assasinate The President"

Things were fine until Ritchie started missing practices. He was the most slamminest guitar player I had ever heard back then, but he had some personal issues/demons. Practice was empty without his nasty riffs. After a few months of Ritchie being unreliable, we decided to dissolve this great musical experiment. It was sad for everyone but we were better off without the aggravation, or so we thought. Gary the drummer and I still jammed here & there but there was never
that "Pukechewer" feel that we loved so much.

I saw Ritchie at the mall shortly before that Christmas, and we joked about getting together for a "Pukechewing Christmas". I took his # but I regretfully never called...Two weeks later he jumped to his death off the rt. 1 bridge. Nobody knew why. He was madd talented and was greatly missed as a friend and musician. So anyway, me and Gary kept in touch throughout the years. I would chill with Gary from time to time, until HE disappeared. He just vanished. Then I saw his picture in the newspaper a few months later, after they fished his body out of the Edison river. He was shot and murdered. Another mystery, an end of an era in music, and loss of another friend/Pukechewer. It was a fun ride and I always wonder if I had made that call to Ritchie, if fate would have been different. I'm the last surviving member of The Pukechewers, which means I'm also the next to go. (gulp)

It was ALOT of fun, considering our name and the stupid songs. Here's a couple:

"Stinkfinger"

There was a skank I knew her well
Her fugly face belonged in hell
and oh how her kunt did smell

Between her legs was a big wet spot
It wasn't cum or clot of snot
I said "Bitch, I don't know what the fuck you got"

Stinkfinger
I got a
Stinkfinger
Can't get rid of this
Stinkfinger
and all the disease that's under my nail
her pus would fill a pail
her Kunt was very stale
Stinkfinger
I got a
Stinkfinger
Can't get rid of this
Stinkfinger

I played with her scabs awhile
'Till she began to smile
and shit into a pile

Her maggotty meat was a skanky old sight
I held my bile with all my might
I grabbed her clit and took a bite

Like an apple I began to core her gash
her body began to shake & thrash
chunks of flesh hung from her ass

Stinkfinger
I got a
Stinkfinger
Can't get rid of this
Stinkfinger
and all the disease that's under my nail
her pus would fill a pail
her Kunt was very stale
Stinkfinger
I got a
Stinkfinger
Can't get rid of this
Stinkfinger

"Eat My Shit"

Put some shit on your nose
down your throat feel how it flows
diarrea in your ear
and you wish you couldn't hear
all the maggotts that are fucking
on the faeces they are sucking
they're eating dingleberries
and the skidmarks and the hairies

Eat My Shit
It tastes so good
Eat My Shit
Serve it warm
Eat My Shit
It's dandy tastin
yeah...

Pour some vomit in your bed
Green & yellow streaks of red
Roll over on it in the night
Grab a chunk and take a bite
Make it dribble down your chin
spread your legs and put some in
Your stenchy hole thats full of brown
Mix it up and gulp it down

Chew some Puke
it tastes so good
Chew some Puke
serve it warm

high fly
12-18-2003, 04:17 PM
Wait till you start running into the former groupies.
Please, for our sake, have a camera with you at all times...

" and they ask me why I drink"

reeshy
12-18-2003, 04:20 PM
I'll bet the Beatles rested easier when they found out you guys broke up!!!!

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It's not censorship because people can't come here and post/say whatever they want in the first place.

TheMojoPin
12-18-2003, 04:51 PM
All he did was take the Cannibal Corpse story and change the names.


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