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Classic Booby Heenan (VERY long, but very funny) [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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TomPoo
08-29-2001, 09:12 AM
ON DECEMBER 31, 1990, USA NETWORK HAD A SPECIAL
EDITION OF PRIME TIME WRESTLING (RAW'S PREDECESSOR). FOR THOSE THAT REMEMBER WHEN THE SHOW HAD GORILLA MONSOON AND BOBBY HEENAN AS CO-HOSTS, THIS WILL BRING BACK ALL THE GOOD MEMORIES. I DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE TOO CONTROVERSIAL TO SAY DURING THESE SHOWS, BOBBY HEENAN WAS AT HIS ABSOLUTE BEST. THE TEXT IS RATHER LONG, BUT I THINK IT'S WORTH IT FOR THE MEMORIES. ENJOY.
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New Year's Eve 1991-Edition of
WWF PRIMETIME Wrestling

Gorilla Monsoon: Hello everyone and welcome to our special
edition, this new year's edition of PRIME TIME WRESTLING right here on
the USA network. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and are all
set to bring in 1991. What are ya...? (To Heenan) You got that look on
your kisser. Are you having a problem already? This is, we're not even
at 1991 yet.

Bobby Heenan: I don't want to start the year off this way. You ruin my Christmas.

Gorilla Monsoon: I ruined your Christmas!

Bobby Heenan: Yeah, you ruined my watch.

Gorilla Monsoon: Whose fault is that?

Bobby Heenan: Well, if you'd told me there was a watch in that thing, I wouldn't have smashed it.

Gorilla Monsoon: I tried to tell you that.

Bobby Heenan: It was just a joke I was pulling. I didn't mean anything by it. Now, I didn't have a Christmas gift.

Gorilla Monsoon: You were so intent on getting the big. I'll make a deal with you Brain; I'll make a deal with ya. I have a new Rolex, and I'm prepared to give you if you agree to be nice to our
guests here on our special New Year's program.

Bobby Heenan: You'll give me a new Rolex watch.

Gorilla Monsoon: I will.

Bobby Heenan: If I'm nice to the guests.

Gorilla Monsoon: I will.

Bobby Heenan: Who are the guests?

Gorilla Monsoon: The Rosattis are here.

Bobby Heenan: Ah, c'mon Monsoon. You can't be nice to the Rossatis.

Gorilla Monsoon: Well, then.

Bobby Heenan: They're always rude to me.

Gorilla Monsoon: I guess maybe our floor man would like to have a new Rolex.

Bobby Heenan: No, he's got a watch. He don't need a watch. Uh. Yeah, I'll be nice to them. For the whole year, or just today?

Gorilla Monsoon: I can't expect you to be nice for more than two or three hours.

Bobby Heenan: You give me a good Rolex, a new Rolex, I'll be nice for the rest my life.

Gorilla Monsoon: Won't that be interesting. To see the Brain be...

Bobby Heenan (happily): Happy New Year, every one! Welcome
to PRIME TIME. Our first match is.

Gorilla Monsoon (interrupting): Let's start things off with the Macho King.

Bobby Heenan: Hey!

(break)

Gorilla Monsoon: Superfly Jimmy Snuka giving all the Macho King Randy Savage wants right now. And what a New Year's win it could be
Brain for ... (Brain blowing into several different noise-makers, but none work.)

Bobby Heenan: Why don't we get stuff that works?

Gorilla Monsoon: Do you have to put every one of them in your mouth?

Bobby Heenan: Well, none of them work.

Gorilla Monsoon: We'll be back with the conclusion in a moment.

(break)

Gorilla Monsoon: (meanwhile, Brain is blowing into noisemaker) The beautiful London Gardens, in London, Ontario, Canada, is the
location for this blockbuster of a match we're watching right now on this very special New Year's Eve edition of PRIME TIME WRESTLING. So, without any further ado, let's go back to ringside.

Bobby Heenan: Is that champagne?

(break)

Gorilla Monsoon: Macho King putting another notch in the crown as he gets by the Phenom, Superfly Jimmy Snuka. And no easy task at
that, Brain.

Bobby Heenan: Well, Snuka's in tremendous shape, and uh, he's changing. Something's wrong with him. He's become more vicious. He's gone back to his animalistic ways. Savage is a tremendous athlete, and he wants that World Wrestling Federation...

Gorilla Monsoon: In other words, he might be material for theHeenan family. That...

Bobby Heenan: Who?

Gorilla Monsoon: Superfly.

Bobby Heenan: No, no. He, he.

Gorilla M