MizzleTizzle
01-10-2004, 10:13 AM
One Day at a Time is a common mantra. Ok there have been a lot of threads on weight loss, not feeling well, driving and other anxieties, anger and rage, bad relaitionships, annoying people in public, medications, and many that might fall under the `My life would improve significantly if I could ________." And fill in the blank with whatever issue one might have.
Anyway; I've been concluding a sort of life experiment that started in 20 March 2002. In that time I lost weight went off meds feel much better blah blah blah. And some observations that were made about myself. In fact, that was the experiment. To study this creature that I inhabit, this body, and see how it behaves, how it does things. Sounds nuts. Bear with me.
Things started really happeneing for me, the real changes, when I would intensely examine my behavior, and then I would change it. This was not one day at a time. This was: I get angry, get hungry, get tired, get horny, want to get wasted, get wasted, feel anxious in malls, feel depressed, etc. When I get one of these feelings, I pick one. Just one, and let all the others go on their merry way.
One: Driving and reaction to Assholes. We all know this one. Someone pulls an asshole move on you, switch lanes so you have to hit the brakes or swerve to avoid them, and they are clueless about it, and gone. OK; watching myself: I'm getting livid, I'm talking out loud cursing the fuck, I'm speeding up to get the shit, etc. The usual result being zero satisfaction, and a good 10 minutes of being in a very shitty mood. Minimum.
So, I decided to let this one go. Just this one thing. I mean to the point of smiling and waving Hello! After they cut me off. I refused to let the anger impulse, that channel of reaction that had been carved in my brain, to flow. I just let it go.
Now people still cut me off, and I still get pissed, but not nearly as often, and my level of driving `fun' is huge. Gotta go into the city? No problem. Traffic on the parkway? I bring a book. Or I just sit there and not be angry. It was hard as hell. But no more anxiety about driving, no bridge anxiety.
And it naturally starts to spill over into other areas. Say the nest week I pick assholes in stores. Same thing. So I'm not talking one Day at a Time. I'm talking one Second, even less, at a time. Meaning the goal of me trying to change my total behavior for even a day equals certain failure, and feeling like shit about it. We all start that new `day' when it's gonna be different. Screw that. It's all gonna be the same. But maybe start changing one thing.
Does this make Any sense at all? What works for you? What doesn't?
Anyway; I've been concluding a sort of life experiment that started in 20 March 2002. In that time I lost weight went off meds feel much better blah blah blah. And some observations that were made about myself. In fact, that was the experiment. To study this creature that I inhabit, this body, and see how it behaves, how it does things. Sounds nuts. Bear with me.
Things started really happeneing for me, the real changes, when I would intensely examine my behavior, and then I would change it. This was not one day at a time. This was: I get angry, get hungry, get tired, get horny, want to get wasted, get wasted, feel anxious in malls, feel depressed, etc. When I get one of these feelings, I pick one. Just one, and let all the others go on their merry way.
One: Driving and reaction to Assholes. We all know this one. Someone pulls an asshole move on you, switch lanes so you have to hit the brakes or swerve to avoid them, and they are clueless about it, and gone. OK; watching myself: I'm getting livid, I'm talking out loud cursing the fuck, I'm speeding up to get the shit, etc. The usual result being zero satisfaction, and a good 10 minutes of being in a very shitty mood. Minimum.
So, I decided to let this one go. Just this one thing. I mean to the point of smiling and waving Hello! After they cut me off. I refused to let the anger impulse, that channel of reaction that had been carved in my brain, to flow. I just let it go.
Now people still cut me off, and I still get pissed, but not nearly as often, and my level of driving `fun' is huge. Gotta go into the city? No problem. Traffic on the parkway? I bring a book. Or I just sit there and not be angry. It was hard as hell. But no more anxiety about driving, no bridge anxiety.
And it naturally starts to spill over into other areas. Say the nest week I pick assholes in stores. Same thing. So I'm not talking one Day at a Time. I'm talking one Second, even less, at a time. Meaning the goal of me trying to change my total behavior for even a day equals certain failure, and feeling like shit about it. We all start that new `day' when it's gonna be different. Screw that. It's all gonna be the same. But maybe start changing one thing.
Does this make Any sense at all? What works for you? What doesn't?