My Therapist Bums Me Out

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

And it's depressing the hell out of me.

Every time I leave her I feel hopeless and I should just resign to the fact I'll probably wind up a lonely, cat lady who died alone after my 30-year newspaper collection crushes me.

I swear, I've had to fend for myself since I was 20. I have no family and had to figure everything out by myself. I'm 37 and been dealing with major depression since I was 23. I'm doing the best I can. I've had enough heartache in my life. Yes, I know, life's tough and I should get a helmet, but when I leave her office, I leave feeling hopeless and really sad. I get what she's saying and all, but she's not very "nurturing." All she tells me is the stuff I already know. She makes me feel it's my fault I am the way I am and I'll never be happy.

This isn't a pity post. It's more of a venting post. I just had an appointment with her and I feel like my plans for the future are a joke and I'm kidding myself. What's the point of working towards anything if the future looks dark and lonely?

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An oldie, but a goodie!

[Tall_James]

I thought that therapy was designed to help you in your quest to get better. How long have you been seeing this therapist? Just because someone has a diploma on the wall doesn't mean that they have the disposition to do the job correctly. Have you thought of changing therapists? Because if you are unhappy when you go to this one...what's the point?


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Frank Burns eats worms

[JustJon]

As James said, this may not be the therapist for you, and you may want to look into a new one.

I went to therapy for a summer about 10 years ago. I walked out feeling bored and that I was wasting my time, but I had to do it as part of an agreement. I didn't feel like I had anything to work out, so it didn't and couldn't help me.

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[Jennitalia]

I went to therapy for a summer about 10 years ago. I walked out feeling bored and that I was wasting my time, but I had to do it as part of an agreement. I didn't feel like I had anything to work out, so it didn't and couldn't help me.


well, normally if you go into therapy with that attitude, chances are you won't be helped. you can't soley rely on the therapist to help you, you need to want to help yourself.

In fuzzy's case, i think she should try a different therapist

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[Iamnotatool]

Go see Doc Melfi

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Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

[Tall_James]

http://www.ericdsnider.com/images/old_images/katzalone.GIF

I went to this guy for a while but he face keep squiggling and it was creeping me out.


Seriously Alice, look into alternate therapists.


<img src=http://home.comcast.net/~jamesgpatton/tj2_sig.gif>


Frank Burns eats worms

[mdr55]

If your therapist bums you out, why do you still go there if it makes you be depressed. YOU have the choice to go there or not.

What happens when you don't see your therapist for an extended period of time, how do you feel??

What benefits do you get when you go there that makes you continue to go?

Are you taking any type of medication?

(Place YOUR AD here) Call now!

[Reephdweller]

Like the others have said, you might want to consider going to another therapist. There's plenty of others out there. While I haven't gone to therapists I know that some doctors are caring and considerate and really identify with their patients, while some doctors can be ice cold. I went to one doctor about a year ago and she literally scared the life out of me. In one visit I had with her there was just some very cold and disturbing about her. My regular doctor had moved out of my health plan to I had to find another doctor so I went with her because she was close to home. Now I go to Nassau to see my new doctor and it's a pleasure because it's a dramatically different experience. Try someone else and see if you get a different approach. It's rotten to have to deal with someone who makes you feel like this one is making you feel. I wish you the best of luck.

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[FUNKMAN]

couple questions:

> do you somehow feel deepdown that the therapist might be right?

> do you go to a therapist because this is the only way you can be prescribed medication that you feel you need?

humble suggestion

don't allow this person to make you feel down about yourself. he/she is no better than you or anyone else. you work hard, treat people with respect and from the few short years i've known you(even though it's through the board) you are a sweetheart of a person... so tell your therapist to FUCK OFF

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[A.J.]

Have you ever mentioned these feelings to the therapist? If so, I hope she didn't throw it back at you that it's somehow YOUR fault. Maybe she should change her style to accomodate your needs.

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[Katylina]

Are you on any anti-depressants? Did you tell your therapist how you feel when you leave her office? Maybe if you can discuss this problem with her, you can decide on whether you want to stay where you are or find another therapist.

On a lighter note...

I've never been to a therapist, but I think it's perfectly fine to call up my boyfriend using different voices for my vagina, ass, and every once in awhile I am a starving Ethiopian. Multiplicity? hehehe

I'm usually very happy and active, but I got some issues of my own that scare the hell out of me. I get these insecure moments in my live when I act on impulse and regret it later. I'm always saying I'm sorry. Thank God I have friends and a boyfriend that is able to cope with that impulsivity (which is weird 'cause I am extra organized and love to plan things and have things in order.) It's like a hyperactivity impulsivity OCD type of personality. At least I can always have fun, and it brings out my creative side (sometimes)!

My biggest fear is to end up like my father who suffers from severe mental illness. I can't even be in the same room with him anymore. My mother says he suffers from depression and a personality disorder. He has been out of work since I was twelve years old, and I am twenty-five now. We have been screaming at each other for years, and he gets worse and worse and worse. He has all of these health issues, and the more medication they give him, the more crazy he gets. I am hoping this isn't a gene that was passed down to me. ::shudders:: My goal is to get out of this destructive house before I lose my mind as well. I feel bad for my mom who is stuck living with him because she is disabled now after the chemo, and dependant on him to drive her everywhere. UGH! Our house is one big angry aura. I always feel it when I walk in the door after spending time at my boyfriend's house. I hate having people come over because of my crazy father. I didn't even want Ed to meet him at all because he's so mean, but the weird thing is, he fell in love with Ed (go figure).

So in closing, maybe you can tell your therapist how she makes you feel. And if those feeling do not change, go get another one. You are so nice and sweet and wonderful-- you deserve to feel good about yourself!

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This message was edited by Katylina on 3-29-04 @ 5:42 PM

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

What happens when you don't see your therapist for an extended period of time, how do you feel??


My next appt is not until April 19th (she's going on vacation). I'm actually relieved!


Are you taking any type of medication?

do you go to a therapist because this is the only way you can be prescribed medication that you feel you need?


Yes, I'm on Effexor and Wellbutrin. I also take klonopin when I have a panic attack. My regular MD prescribes my meds. I went back into therapy because medication alone doesn't work as well as medication and therapy.

> do you somehow feel deepdown that the therapist might be right?

Yes and no. I understand where she's coming from but her parting words are usually more negative than positive. I've spent my entire life seeing the glass as half empty. She's not helping my outlook.

And I just get the feeling she thinks I'm a spineless jellyfish and I let everybody walk all over me.

Plus, she doesn't turn off her cell phone during my sessions. Sometimes she even takes the call! Not only does this break my train of thought, it's downright unprofessional.


Did you tell your therapist how you feel when you leave her office? Maybe if you can discuss this problem with her

Not yet, but I do have bad memories of "breaking it off" with a therapist years ago. It was a scene out of Seinfeld. I told her I wanted to end out sessions because it really wasn't helping me. She got all red in the face and started yelling at me!

"After all the work I've done! I keep trying to get you to a certain place and you back down everytime! Fine! You've wasted my time!"

It was like breaking up with a psycho girlfriend! Did she ever consider maybe I wasn't ready to get to that "certain place?" I don't even know what she was talking about! She never told me what this "place" was or what "epiphany" I was supposed to have!


Thanks for reading my rant and all the input guys. It's true-- what's the point of going to her if I feel worse afterwards? I've been going to her since September and to be honest, I go to her because she's in my plan and she's close to work.

I did have a great relationship with my last therapist. I'd leave her office feeling up beat and full of hope. Unfortunately, she moved her practice to Long Island after 9/11.





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An oldie, but a goodie!

[Uncle Smokey]

I hate to just repeat what most of the others have told you, but they're right. Therapy is a two way street, and it strikes me that your therapist is not the best fit for you. My brother bounced from one therapist to another for the better part of two years before lighting upon one who really struck a chord with him, and it had nothing to do with this one being a "nicer guy" or not making demands of him. Rather it was just the general impression that he understood my brothers complaints and was working toward the same set of goals with some understanding of where my brother was coming from. I might add, although I imagine this isn't universally true, my brother's therapist is a psychiatrist and as such coordinates his meds. That seems to work out nicely. Best of luck to you.

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[FUNKMAN]

You Welcome!

hey don't feel bad, even Tony Soprano got a cold shoulder
:)

Best Of Luck and Keep The Chin Up ALWAYS!

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[reeshy]

I did have a great relationship with my last therapist. I'd leave her office feeling up beat and full of hope. Unfortunately, she moved her practice to Long Island after 9/11.



What???....was she paranoid?????

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[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

hey don't feel bad, even Tony Soprano got a cold shoulder

Go see Doc Melfi



I heard she's a cunt. :p



What???....was she paranoid?????


No, she had her practice in Battery Park City. She couldn't get into her office for a while and when she did, the space was covered in dust. Even if the space hadn't been affected, her clients couldn't access Battery Park City that easily.

She lives on Long Island. A lot of her clients were commuting from L.I. It just made sense for her to move her practice there.

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An oldie, but a goodie!

This message was edited by Alice S. Fuzzybutt on 3-29-04 @ 8:13 PM

[reeshy]

Alice...pssst...over here....it was a joke.....now I'll run away...................................

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[Uncle Smokey]

[quote]

What???....was she paranoid?????

[quote]

She just wanted to be closer to you buttercup

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[sr71blackbird]

I was going to a psychotherapist for 2 years and I started to lie to her because of stuff that was happeing to me and I didnt like what she was suggesting, so I just stopped going and started to try and find my own soultions and it did help a little.

I read some books on the subject and started seeing patterns that I was able to recognize in other areas ( like back pain) and read another book that helped me with that but also gave me an insight into some of my mental issues as well.

Im still taking some medication for anxiety and stuff and it does take the edge off. If I found a therapist that I could confide in and open up without the fear that I would need to hide information from, Id probably go talk with him/her. My problem with the one I was going to aside from the hiding stuff was a fear that she was milking me to be a continuous source of money from, and that pissed me off too and it goes back to the back pain.

I use to go to a chiropractor and one day while waithing in the waiting room there was this woman singing his praises on how good he is, and how shes been seeing him every week for 15 years and I was like... 15 years?? How the fuck good can he be if he cant fix you after 15 years?? The guy kept saying that I need to keep seeing him if I want to be able to move and stuff and I realised he was trying to scare me to keep going.

I dont know is therapists are the same way, but it is my fear that it "could be" that turns me away from them. I kind of liken it to a mechanic that would say that I need to keep bringing my car to, at some point I would say..what the hells going on that it needs to be fixed so often? I know the mind isnt the same thing as a car, but I think we dont question it because our health insurance covers it with some of them.

This woman I was going to, my insurance didnt cover it and it was costing me $40 a week out of pocket.

Id try and find someone you feel more comfortable with if this ones not doing it for you. I mean, they are there to make you feel better, right? If they arent doing that, whats the point?

EDIT: I only added paragraphs.

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This message was edited by Alice S. Fuzzybutt on 3-29-04 @ 8:55 PM

[CYYYFYYY]

I know it is a HUGE pain in the ass but time to get a new one. Again this is a HUGE pain because you have to tell the new one your whole story and all but this one sounds like a quack.

Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY
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I am the CYYYFYYY

[jax]

She leaves her cell phone on? You are going there to talk to your doctor not shoot the shit with a girlfriend.

[zoom2457]

Alice, please go find another therapist. This one is broken. It is completely unprofessional that she leaves her cell phone on.

You deserve better!!!



"Excuse me, excuse me I believe you have my stapler"

[scorpion]

Alice as others have said it may be best to find a better therapist. You need someone who makes you feel comfortable enough to open up to. Nurturing is something should also come from a therapist.

Depression is tough since there is no one cure all for everyone and it takes time.

At best I can say that the hopeless and loneliness does get better. I still get these feelings of them especially if things are all over the place. But I am better to deal with them now.

Take care Alice :)



<img src="http://www.healthytraining.com/rf/kittycar.jpg">

Now I'm starvin

[DreamWeaver]

Plus, she doesn't turn off her cell phone during my sessions. Sometimes she even takes the call!
My therapist does the same thing! She apologizes and says she has to get it in case of an emergency. Sometimes its other patients calling (once it was a patient who was just diagnosed with breast cancer and was flipping out - totally understandable) but it's usually her husband. I have no idea if what they talk about is more important than me cause they speak Japanese!

She doesn't really "nurture" me either. She is understanding but puts me in my place when needed. I tend to think I'm right about everything, which I'm finding out isn't true, and she lets me know. She tells me ahead of time..."I'm sorry but I need to be honest with my patients so please don't get upset.... You have to see the other side. You can't always have things your way." I appreciate that cause I'm not right all the time and I need to hear it or I will never see anyone else's side to things.

Maybe what's getting you depressed is the place you're at in life. How's your job, social life etc? I've had alot of major life changing events going on recently that have me feeling more positive about life in general. Before that I just found myself to be miserable and didn't think my shrink was offering me anything. Turns out it was just me not making any effort to change on my own. Plus my medication (a very high dose of Paxil :)) is doing wonders. Have you thought about switching to something else?

I'm not saying any of this is your problem but I wanted to share my experience with you.

And to echo what everyone has said, for your happiness, think about seeing someone else.

If you want to talk email me.


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[Arienette]

i dont know if anyone has mentioned this, but have you considered making the trip to long island to see your old therapist? i know it would be a trekk, but it sounds to me like it's pretty hard to find a therapist you work so well with. it might be worth it.

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aricheat.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>the moon, it leaves silver but never sleep
and then the silver turns to gray
oh, stay with me, arienette, until the wolves are away
</center>

[shamus mcfitzy]

my therapist bums me out too!!! I think it might just be the fact of going to therapy though, hashing out all my negative feelings and all. It does feel unnatural to me though.

[Death Metal Moe]

I usually don't like lurking around this place since I left, but I was checking on the 2 birthday threads I posted in recently to see what was going on with them, and I saw my favorite poster in trouble here, so I had to step in. Why am I explaining myself anyway? Douche move. Anway.......

http://unhallowed.com/sigs/MeAgain.jpg

I guess it's not as easy as just saying you should think you're cool, but I think you're cool, and I'm always fucking right.

Seriously, if this therapist is making you feel like this, tell them to fuck off and get another one. Period. Sometimes, a change is good. Also, people get 2nd opinions before major medical procedures, why not get a 2nd opinion on your mental health and what direction to take your treatement?

And if they try to stick you with some sort of bill, give ME the address. Fucking humps. I swear to fucking GOD. I'm in a very bad mood the past few days, just point me in a direction.

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98%

[Cybersoldier]

I felt burn out after my last session are all therapists going throught some kind of end of winter burn out with their patients

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This message was edited by Cybersoldier on 3-30-04 @ 11:48 PM

[monsterone]

moe, how's morpheus and trinity? and look out, agent smith is right behind you!!!

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<font color=white>moe & horde king, come back soon</font>


</center>
[color=White]

[Death Metal Moe]

Hey Monsterone-INCH. Eat me.

You're not drawing me back in! Everytime I think I'm out......

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98%

[monsterone]

damn you for logging out. and i had you for a minute with a good natured ribbing.


and nice call-back.

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<center>
<font color=green size=3>i'll beat my dick like it owes me money</font>
<font color=white>moe & horde king, come back soon</font>


</center>
[color=White]

[monsterone]

oh yeah moe, fark you.

<img src="http://img18.photobucket.com/albums/v53/monster6sixty6/random_images/moe.jpg" / >

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<font color=yellow size=2>i'll beat my dick like it owes me money</font>
<font color=white>moe & horde king, come back soon</font>


</center>
[color=White]

[JustJon]

oh yeah moe, fark you.

<img src="http://img18.photobucket.com/albums/v53/monster6sixty6/random_images/moe.jpg" / >


Would that be the Moetrix?

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[Iamnotatool]

Moe,

You don't scare anyone, not even Fuzzy's therapist. If you say you are leaving, leave. If not, stay, you are a great poster. But don't be a great poseur as well.



<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif>
Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

[Arienette]

Moe,

You don't scare anyone, not even Fuzzy's therapist. If you say you are leaving, leave. If not, stay, you are a great poster. But don't be a great poseur as well.stay, leave, whatever. but can we please stop talking about this already?

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aricheat.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>the moon, it leaves silver but never sleep
and then the silver turns to gray
oh, stay with me, arienette, until the wolves are away
</center>

[FUNKMAN]

use a mute massage therapist instead... at the end of the session you'll feel great physically and he can't give you no flack either...

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sig by #1 Monster

[Iamnotatool]

Plus maybe you will get a happy ending!

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif>
Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

[Doogie]

And it's depressing the hell out of me.

Every time I leave her I feel hopeless and I should just resign to the fact I'll probably wind up a lonely, cat lady who died alone after my 30-year newspaper collection crushes me.

I swear, I've had to fend for myself since I was 20. I have no family and had to figure everything out by myself. I'm 37 and been dealing with major depression since I was 23. I'm doing the best I can. I've had enough heartache in my life. Yes, I know, life's tough and I should get a helmet, but when I leave her office, I leave feeling hopeless and really sad. I get what she's saying and all, but she's not very "nurturing." All she tells me is the stuff I already know. She makes me feel it's my fault I am the way I am and I'll never be happy.

This isn't a pity post. It's more of a venting post. I just had an appointment with her and I feel like my plans for the future are a joke and I'm kidding myself. What's the point of working towards anything if the future looks dark and lonely?

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An oldie, but a goodie!

Petrina, a scholar of mine once said "When the wind no longer calls to you...perhaps it is time to remember your name"

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