ROCKmeHARDPLACE

[newport king]

ok so i need some advice on what to do here....
My wife and I have this couple we're friends with and they throw some pretty good parties during the summer. I really like going over there and drinking out in the sun, using their pool and playing cards with the rest of the guys till 4 in the morning.
The woman has a sister we're also friends with and her and her boyfriend are there alot. I'm what you might call acquaintances with him. Just really shoot the shit with him when i'm there.
Turns out the sister cheated on this kid with a guy I work with. Now they are engaged and I know telling him would nullify any chances of them getting married. I'm also pretty sure it would be an awkward situation if I was ever invited to our friends house for those parties and she's there.
But in a way I feel kinda obligated to tell him. You know the Bros before Hoes thing. And on top of that this girl ratted me out when i was in highschool to my girlfriend at the time that I was cheating.
So I could settle an 8 year old score with this girl, destroy this kid i'm pretty cool with, and miss out on those parties.
Or I can keep it to myself. What should I do?

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[Patches]

That sounds like a big clusterfuck. Glad I'm not you.

Sorry if that sounds really callous, but I really did try to think of advice, and the only thing that came to my head was, 'man that sucks' So at least know I feel for you, man.

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<b>I'll punch every one of those bees in the face. Fuck bees. -Dane Cook</B>

[Jack_Doff]

If you really feel the need to say something, I would say it to the girl and try to get her to come clean to that guy. Otherwise, I'd stay out of it.

[Tall_James]

Get the girl alone. Say I know what you did but unlike you, I'm not a rat. Tell her to do the right thing.

Though its easier said than done.


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[mikeyboy]

I think I'd stay out of it.

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[Patches]

after re-reading, I have a question:

Was her cheating just a one time, stupid drunken incident, or did she actually carry on an affair with the guy?

If it was a one time mistake, that I am sure she sorely regrets, I would let it go. The guilt she has to deal with is enough, there is no need to ruin all those lives.

If she was carrying on an affair, then she's a slimy cunt, and give her hell.


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<b>I'll punch every one of those bees in the face. Fuck bees. -Dane Cook</B>

[jeffdwright2001]

If you really feel the need to say something, I would say it to the girl and try to get her to come clean to that guy. Otherwise, I'd stay out of it.


Uh no. Don't go to the girl and leave it up to her. Because if she opts not to tell the guy, she'll be pissed at you anway for coming to her about it in the first place. Then you'll still have the uncomfortable issues when attending her sister's parties.

You have to weigh how much you like the guy who she cheated on. How much you like going to the sister's house for the parties. And finally, are you ok with everyone being mad at you even the guy you tell about the cheating (it could happen).

There's always the chance the guy will appreciate what you told him and confront the soon-to-be wife without telling her how he found out. But if she has any sort of brain, she'll figure it out.

Will you be able to go to parties after they are married and act like nothing happened. Will you be ok with yourself for not having told him.

Would you want to be told if you were him? Will he believe you if she denies it?

Well there, I think I've muddled it up enough.

I can only tell you what I would do, which isn't really important, since you don't have to live with my decisions, you have to live with yours.

EDIT: added a few missing letters to words

This message was edited by jeffdwright2001 on 4-9-04 @ 10:23 AM

[mikeyboy]

ROCKmeHARDPLACE


ROCKmeAMADEUS

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[Jack_Doff]

Uh no. Don't go to the girl and leave it up to her. Because if she opts not to tell the guy, she'll be pissed at you anway for coming to her about it in the first place. Then you'll still have the uncomfortable issues when attending her sister's parties.

Right. But he already has issues with this girl from when she ratted him out when they were in High School. There already is tension and animosity between them. Him telling her he knows and that she should be honest with this guy won't change that much.

[Iamnotatool]

Tell him. Otherwise you are responsible for yet another failed marriage. Women are classless slutty bitches that need to be fucking shot.

Some of them, anyway. Cheating sucks. Once you cheat, your sexual organs should be removed.

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[Patches]

Cheating sucks. Once you cheat, your sexual organs should be removed.


I didn't know Ivory Towers went that high. The view must be nice.

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[Furtherman]

Once you cheat, your sexual organs should be removed.


The world would be full of eunuchs.

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...with thanks to JustJon

[Arienette]

If you really feel the need to say something, I would say it to the girl and try to get her to come clean to that guy. Otherwise, I'd stay out of it. as usual, i agree with my best friend, jack_doff. it's really none of your business, but if you feel like you can't stay out of it, then you should go to her, not him. even that can be tricky - you have no idea what their relationship is like or what kind of arrangement they might have. it's usually better to stay out, as hard as it may be.

and you should absolutely not do anything if your only motivation for doing so is to get back at her for something that happened when you were in high school. that's just petty, and you need to grow up, whether she has or not.

Tell him. Otherwise you are responsible for yet another failed marriage. marriages fail all the time for all kinds of reasons. and there are marriages that succeed despite the fact that someone cheated.. especially when the cheating happened before they were married. i mean, don't get me wrong, i think this girl's a bitch whore, and i wouldn't be friends with her, but this doesnt mean that newport king suddenly becomes responsible for their relationship.

Once you cheat, your sexual organs should be removed.

The world would be full of eunuchs.yeah, including the guy who started this thread. that's such a stupid thing to say.

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[Katylina]

I would completely stay out of it. Ever hear the statement, "Don't kill the messenger"? Back in the medieval era, if a messenger were to bring ill news to the king or queen, he was always in fear of his life. I believe the same still applies for our modern age as well-if not literally, then symbolically. You are going to stir up a lot of emotions that will have repercussions in your own life.

It seems to me, when I read your post that you do not really care about this man's feelings, but are using this situation as a way to avenge yourself on a wrong done to you in high school. Face it-we were all assholes in high school at some point or another because we are learning about people and life in general. We use that period of our lives as a time to grow, and everything happens for a reason. You may have never met your wife if this girl didn't rat you out. I would leave well enough alone.

If you decide to tell this man that his future wife had a fling with a co-worker for the sake of retribution, remember the laws of nature, where it will come back to you threefold. With that said, I'm going to go out with my black cat and play with my voodoo doll.
:eg:

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This message was edited by Katylina on 4-9-04 @ 11:39 AM

[Crippler]

YOU:as-far-away-as-fucking-posibble:THIS SITUATION
^
ll
stay here.

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This message was edited by Crippler on 4-9-04 @ 11:43 AM

[Furtherman]

I think people are missing a very simple yet essential element to this situation.

You have to listen to your heart on this one Newport King, and think very carefully about one thing:

How good is the food at these parties?

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...with thanks to JustJon

[Iamnotatool]

Wait, so I'm getting killed because I think cheating sucks?

Remind me to never date any of you guys, jeez.



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Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

[Katylina]

Wait, so I'm getting killed because I think cheating sucks?

Remind me to never date any of you guys, jeez.


Cheating does suck! So, nice shoes....





<center>
<marquee>i'm drunk, and right now i'm so in love with you and i don't want to think too much about what we should or shouldn't do. i have found you can find happiness in slavery.</marquee>
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[Iamnotatool]

Why thank you, I shined them myself.

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Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

[Patches]

Remind me to never date any of you guys, jeez


Ok here it is. I'm a dude. Don't date me.

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<b>I'll punch every one of those bees in the face. Fuck bees. -Dane Cook</B>

[reeshy]

I'd stay completely out of it. No good can come out of spilling the beans to your friend....but if you want to really be a son of a bitch, tell the girl you'll rat on her unless she does you a few "favors"!!!!!

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[Arienette]

Wait, so I'm getting killed because I think cheating sucks?

Remind me to never date any of you guys, jeez.
you're right... cheating does suck, and it's not really fair that you're getting attacked for what you said. i just think a lot of us are just recognizing that sometimes people do bad, hurtful, selfish things like cheat, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they should never get a chance to improve as a person and in a relationship.

and i can't date you anyway... i don't cheat.


<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aricheat.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>to think i might not see those eyes<br>it makes it so hard not to cry<br>and as we say our long goodbyes, i nearly do</center>

[Cybersoldier]

You could always plan the idea in his head, he might think about and find out on his own. But if anyone knew that my girlfriend cheated on me, I would want to know. Good luck with the situation

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[newport king]

How good is the food at these parties?

they usually have at least a 6ft hero for us guys playing poker. along with other catered foods and some excellent bbq.
which is why after reading some posts and thinking about all the food i'd be missing out on, i plan to keep it to myself. I do think it was a 1 time drunken thing, but i'm sure she will let the guilt get the best of her and wind up telling him anyway. I considered just f'ing with her and hitting him up on his two way when i know he's with her and telling him to call me back when he's alone cause i got something real important to talk to him about, and the fear would probably bring on the confession from her. And when he called me back i'd just talk about something completely unrelated but i'm staying the fuck out of it.
Friendship is not worth losing: winning at poker, free food and free beer.

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