ek
05-02-2004, 02:59 PM
I went out to copy my friend Matt's passport for him, unaware of the trouble this would cause me. After waking up, after school, after coming home, I needed to copy Matt's passport for him to visit Rutgers. It was a nice night, so I didn't mind. Our story begins at Staples. At the time, the idea was to avoid a longer walk and perhaps make a nicer copy for the fine people at Rutgers. I sauntered in, up to the copy counter. The following conversation went a little something like this:
Copy Guy *immediately seeing passport*: Sorry, can't copy passports.
Alex: Why not?
*Copy guy pulls out a pamphlet and shows "Passport" on list of things unable to be copied*
Copy Guy: You need to call a toll free number, fill out this form and get permission.
All right. At this point it didn't really matter to me, but I was still curious, because I've always made copies of drivers licenses and other important government documents for people. Sure, a passport was a little bit more important, but I was just looking to get a damned black and white copy of one page of it for Matt. It wasn't like I was stealing it.
Alex: So I can't get a copy of this without calling a number?
Copy Guy: Yeah. *begin condescending sarcasm here* You see, there is this thing called a copyright. You can't copy this without permission. You can't copy a book without permission. Hence the words...copy...right.
I could have said one of a million things at this point.
1. Angry, fuck your bullshit approach:
Copy Guy: Yeah. *begin condescending sarcasm here* You see, there is this thing called a copyright. You can't copy this without permission. You can't copy a book without permission. Hence the words...copy...right.
Alex: SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU MOTHER FUCKING BITCH!!!! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOUR FAMILY AND BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE!!! AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
2. Reasonable, don't-you-act-like-you-know-more-than-me-copy-boy approach:
Copy Guy: Yeah. *begin condescending sarcasm here* You see, there is this thing called a copyright. You can't copy this without permission. You can't copy a book without permission. Hence the words...copy...right.
Alex: But this isn't a duplication that is for my own benefit. The term copyright refers to protection from copying for a profit of some sort, I'm just copying this for proof of identity.
(I don't know if that's true, but I was thinking about it and...that is what copyright is, isn't it? Something about the idea of not being able to just copy something for your own personal enjoyment seems really retarded. According to this guy, I wouldn't be able to print anything off of the internet.)
3. Direct approach followed by an attack on his manhood
Copy Guy: Yeah. *begin condescending sarcasm here* You see, there is this thing called a copyright. You can't copy this without permission. You can't copy a book without permission. Hence the words...copy...right.
Alex: Hey smartass, not all of us spend all of our time memorizing quotes from the Xerox Bible. I'm sorry I didn't know that but you don't see everyone calling toll-free numbers at the library before using the copy machine for a book report, faggot.
4. Direct approach followed by an attack on his manhood (literally)
Copy Guy: Yea. *begin condescending sarcasm here* You see, there is this thing called a copyright. You can't copy this without permission. You can't copy a book without permission. Hence the words...copy...right.
Alex: Hey smartass, not all of us spend all of our time memorizing quotes from the Xerox Bible. I'm sorry I didn't know that but you don't see everyone calling toll-free numbers at the library before using the copy machine for a book report, faggot.
*Alex kicks Copy Guy in the balls*
Alex: OH, YOU JUST GOT SERVED!
Yeah, this is just getting ridiculous. But the fact of the matter is... I hate these types of assholes. Those idiots that have been working their jobs for too long and find the need to take it out on the average joe who
Copy Guy *immediately seeing passport*: Sorry, can't copy passports.
Alex: Why not?
*Copy guy pulls out a pamphlet and shows "Passport" on list of things unable to be copied*
Copy Guy: You need to call a toll free number, fill out this form and get permission.
All right. At this point it didn't really matter to me, but I was still curious, because I've always made copies of drivers licenses and other important government documents for people. Sure, a passport was a little bit more important, but I was just looking to get a damned black and white copy of one page of it for Matt. It wasn't like I was stealing it.
Alex: So I can't get a copy of this without calling a number?
Copy Guy: Yeah. *begin condescending sarcasm here* You see, there is this thing called a copyright. You can't copy this without permission. You can't copy a book without permission. Hence the words...copy...right.
I could have said one of a million things at this point.
1. Angry, fuck your bullshit approach:
Copy Guy: Yeah. *begin condescending sarcasm here* You see, there is this thing called a copyright. You can't copy this without permission. You can't copy a book without permission. Hence the words...copy...right.
Alex: SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU MOTHER FUCKING BITCH!!!! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOUR FAMILY AND BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE!!! AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
2. Reasonable, don't-you-act-like-you-know-more-than-me-copy-boy approach:
Copy Guy: Yeah. *begin condescending sarcasm here* You see, there is this thing called a copyright. You can't copy this without permission. You can't copy a book without permission. Hence the words...copy...right.
Alex: But this isn't a duplication that is for my own benefit. The term copyright refers to protection from copying for a profit of some sort, I'm just copying this for proof of identity.
(I don't know if that's true, but I was thinking about it and...that is what copyright is, isn't it? Something about the idea of not being able to just copy something for your own personal enjoyment seems really retarded. According to this guy, I wouldn't be able to print anything off of the internet.)
3. Direct approach followed by an attack on his manhood
Copy Guy: Yeah. *begin condescending sarcasm here* You see, there is this thing called a copyright. You can't copy this without permission. You can't copy a book without permission. Hence the words...copy...right.
Alex: Hey smartass, not all of us spend all of our time memorizing quotes from the Xerox Bible. I'm sorry I didn't know that but you don't see everyone calling toll-free numbers at the library before using the copy machine for a book report, faggot.
4. Direct approach followed by an attack on his manhood (literally)
Copy Guy: Yea. *begin condescending sarcasm here* You see, there is this thing called a copyright. You can't copy this without permission. You can't copy a book without permission. Hence the words...copy...right.
Alex: Hey smartass, not all of us spend all of our time memorizing quotes from the Xerox Bible. I'm sorry I didn't know that but you don't see everyone calling toll-free numbers at the library before using the copy machine for a book report, faggot.
*Alex kicks Copy Guy in the balls*
Alex: OH, YOU JUST GOT SERVED!
Yeah, this is just getting ridiculous. But the fact of the matter is... I hate these types of assholes. Those idiots that have been working their jobs for too long and find the need to take it out on the average joe who