The secret to winning elections? Penis....

[reeshy]

I attended my annual state convention last week and threw my hat into the ring for what I intended to be the last time. This year, I didn't go overboard on pamphlets and position papers like I had previously, and I didn't include an ad in the program book as I had for the previous years.

I passed out my penis.

It had my name on it and the position I was running for and apparently did the trick. This year I was running for a 2-year term in a National office as opposed to a 1-year state position, and won- In a landslide. 587 to 64.

In previous years, I had always come pretty damn close, but missed by like 20-30 vote swings. Now, by simply handing out my implement and giving my usual visits around the state, I was able to garner a 9 to 1 margin.

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[Furtherman]

Keep your hanging chad away from me!

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...with thanks to JustJon

[SatCam]

You must be all cocky now or somthin'.

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UPDATED![color=white]

[Recyclerz]

So politics, like baseball, truly is a game of inches.


In this case very, very few inches. ;)




<IMG SRC="http://www.hometown.aol.com/recyclerz/myhomepage/sigpic1.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US">
[b]There ain't no asylum here.
King Solomon he never lived 'round here.[b]

[Hottub]

Congratulations on your victory, and finally becoming a "Member".

<img src="http://siebert.home.att.net/midwaysig.jpg" border=0 align=right>
"Ahh, Beer. The cause of, and answer to all of life's problems"
Big A.S.S.#22127

[Lumber]

Damn Reeshy! He`s a pole cat!

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[DJEvelEd]

Congratulations on your victory, and finally becoming a "Member".


The congratulations party was going splendidly until someone noticed the shit stain on the tip of his penis.

Littleslut: "EWWWWW THERES SHIT ON THE TIP OF HIS PENIS!!!

reeshy: "That's not shit!!! That's period blood!!!

Bigfuk: "Tasted like shit to me, and when you came it was like chocolate swirl!!!"

reeshy: "LIES!!! I WOULD NEVER LET YOU SUCK MY COCK IF I LEFT SHIT ON IT!!! I'M NOT FROM LONG ISLAND!!!"

Evel Ed: "I banged a hookers ass with a dirty toilet brush and it only cost me $20.00 more. I'M FROM BAYONNE!!!"

reeshy "I'm from My Mom's Box so what's your point?"

Evel Ed: "When I came out of my Mom's box, I crawled for hours across Lips & Taint and crawled up inside her asshole so I could shit around with Ma for a few more months."

reeshy "So what's your fucking point?"

Evel Ed: "The point is that you don't have to be gay to enjoy F‘cesT. Women's shit smells far worse than men's and when you're getting it "on tap" you can eat your way up to a nice stinky asshole. There's really no difference in taste, so we got something going here or what?

reeshy "No Evel Ed I wanna eat YOUR F‘cesT all the way up to YOUR Glory HoleT."

Evel Ed: "I have an outee, not an innie. Uhhh SECURITY!!!"

reeshy "Chill, just kidding! Let's go find some female Glory HolesT and eat some shit.

Evel Ed: "First let's go into this public restroom and smell the perfumy F‘cesT.

reeshy "OK...WHEW DOES IT STINK!!!"

Evel Ed: "Hey look, someone forgot to flush!!!"

reeshy "Wow, I bet he was hot."


Thanks Katylina, Monsterone, you make the shittiest sigs.
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HAS ANYONE SEEN MY GAPING ANUS?

This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 6-16-04 @ 7:47 PM

[Melrapuo]

The secret to winning elections? Penis....


Of course. You think Hilary Clinton would've won if she DIDN'T have one?

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Thanks M1
YANKEES FAN SINCE BIRTH!

[Hottub]

reeshy, can we get a pic uploaded of said penis?

ed, once again, your F‘ces had me take a knee.

<img src="http://siebert.home.att.net/midwaysig.jpg" border=0 align=right>
"Ahh, Beer. The cause of, and answer to all of life's problems"
Big A.S.S.#22127