No-Reason Boners

[ChickenHawk]

Welcome to another spin-off thread. This one was inspired by Hottub's quote in the shoulder dislocation thread:
At our last meeting, for some reason, my penis became blood-engorged, and the girl sitting next to me nearly fainted.
And I just gotta say... Thumbs down to uninspired/no-reason boners. I'm sure any guy under the age of 55 gets these, and knows they're annoying. Ever been sitting in class or in a meeting at work, and all of a sudden, for no conceivable reason, you develop a diamond-hard erection? There's no hot women in sight, you weren't thinking dirty thoughts, nothing. It just sneaks up on you and leaves you surprised and confused. What's up with No-Reason Boners? I say DOWN with them!


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This message was edited by ChickenHawk on 6-24-04 @ 7:30 PM

[Iamnotatool]

Um. Yeah, I just don't talk about it with guys.

Queer.

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[HBox]

Are they really no-reason boners, or are some here trying to explain away some latent homosexual tendencies?

http://www.myimgs.com/random/hbox/sig

[Jennitalia]

I think they're cute.

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[ChickenHawk]

Um. Yeah, I just don't talk about it with guys.
Queer.
Good point, especially after that other thread I started called "I faked it" about how I pretended to have an orgasm... oh! wait a second, that wasn't me... THAT WAS YOU!


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[Hottub]

STFU, tool!
Chicken has a valid discussion. Any verile man worth his salt can produce an erection at a moments notice.
Be it...


A lovely lady passing by
Remembering the bangin' you threw your lady last night
Recalling the dry-hump you got from the slutty girl when you were 13
or
A SSW wind blowing in at 10 knots


No matter what, a verile man is always ready to acheive an erection. (and should be hard as steel)
Boners keep us happy.
Boners separate us from the women
and if you get one, at the right time, and a lady zero's in on it.... :eg:


later.

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"Ahh, Beer. The cause of, and answer to all of life's problems"
Big A.S.S.#22127

[sr71blackbird]

I get them on the train. I could just be standing there and make eye contact with a woman for a split second and the next thing I know, theres a pup tent in my kackies (sp?). Just today Im looking it my reflection in the window as we pull into the dark station and theres this woman next to me doing the same thing and we get eye contact in the relection and she smiles and ::::boing!::::: Had to hide it behind my backpack

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[Iamnotatool]

Wow, look at all the Tool-bashers.

Go ahead and talk about your cocks...

Sorry for the interuption, you pillow biters.

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[Hottub]

Don't hide it! Flaunt it. You may get head.


OK, not really. You probably won't get head. Especially if you are happily married, and have two young sons already sporting wood.

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Big A.S.S.#22127

[TheMojoPin]

A lovely lady passing by

Remembering the bangin' you threw your lady last night

Recalling the dry-hump you got from the slutty girl when you were 13

or

A SSW wind blowing in at 10 knots

Those are all reasons.

I think this thread is a little flawed. Once you're of the age where you're physically capable of being sexually arroused, there's ALWAYS a reason. Maybe "inappropriate boners" would be more accurate.

The worst along those lines would be if you rode to school on the bus with your backpack on your lap. After a little while, you'd NEED to have that backpack on your lap.

Awful.

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[ChickenHawk]

No no... I've definitely been a victim of NO-REASON boners. There will seriously be no reason whatsoever. I'm half asleep sitting in class, bored off my ass, taking notes, and I'll just get wood with ZERO inspiration. It's not very common, but it happens.


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[Iamnotatool]

Every kid's nightmare: Sitting in class, zoning on some girls ass while a teacher bores you with their drivel, you'd get called to the blackboard to answer some question pitching a tent.

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[ChickenHawk]

Oh, now all of a sudden you wanna contribute to this thread? Make up your mind.


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[Hottub]

"inappropriate boners"



BUZZ!!!! Wrong answer, Mojo. There is absolutley no such thing as an "inappropriate boner"

There may be an inappropriate time or place for wood, but you do your best to concele it.

A stiify is God's gift to men! followed closely by running a batch!

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Big A.S.S.#22127

This message was edited by Hottub on 6-24-04 @ 8:49 PM

[TheMojoPin]

Usually "no-reason" boners happen for the same reason as "morning wood"...pressure from the bladder.

Science lesson!

And Hottub, like Tool said, having to get up in front of people in public with a rager is totally inappropriate. Or like what I was talking about on the bus...and you end up having to walk across the parking lot with your backpack in front of you.

I considered it my mating dance.

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This message was edited by TheMojoPin on 6-24-04 @ 8:57 PM

[Iamnotatool]

Hawk, it was all this breathy cock-talk that reeled me in.

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[Mike Teacher]

I have a similar thing; but its that my constant rockhard cock sometimes, for no reason, goes flaccid. For no reason.

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[Hottub]

And Hottub, like Tool said, having to get up in front of people in public with a rager is totally inappropriate


That, my dear Mojo, depends on the situation.

Wood at a dance club - appropriate
Wood at the local supermarket - appropriate
Wood when your stylist (female, tool) is giving you a scalp massage - appropriate
When the hot soccer-mom drops off your kid from practice - appopriate
When the hotty next to you in church is giving you the eye just before Communnion - NOT APPROPIATE!!

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"Ahh, Beer. The cause of, and answer to all of life's problems"
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[Iamnotatool]

I disagree. Wood in church is certainly not sacrilidge. And yes Mike Teacher, I'm sure I spelled sacrilidge wrong.

If women wore the old shawls and big ass table cloth outfits to church now, as they did then, noone would be rising to the occasion. I used to go to church every dang sunday, and got wood at least twice a mass from perusing the crowd of local ladies wearing their tightest pants, or sundresses that begged the question of "I wonder if she's wearing panties???".

See, I got a chubby just thinking about it, so seeing it is a sure thing. Church or no church.

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[fiestygal]

I have a similar thing; but its that my constant rockhard cock sometimes, for no reason, goes flaccid. For no reason.



my jaw JUST dropped to the ground! :gasp:

What did the 5 fingers say to the face..


SLAP! I'm Rick James BITCH!


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This message was edited by fiestygal on 6-24-04 @ 9:55 PM

[Iamnotatool]

That's just about wide enough. Now say ahhh.

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[canofsoup15]

Church Boners are weird as hell. But I think they happen to every man. It's probably the feeling of reconciliation in church that makes your mind bring up all the bad things you've seen (porn included) or things that are taboo in church (sex). Thus creating a boner.

But that's just my theory.

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[ChickenHawk]

I think church boners are just God playing a joke on you.


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[grlNIN]

Church boners make Priests feel happy.

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[Iamnotatool]

Nothing's better for a church boner than some Alter boy Anal!!!

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[ADF]

I now present this picture of Andrew Koenig for no apparent reason.

http://www.theescapist.com/Andrew_Koenig.JPG

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[JesterOfSadness]

I wore a hoody everyday in high school due to a NRB. Oddly though chicks did notice it, i made a lot of friends that were girls in senior year

"I am a broken soul. Tricked by many, and laughed at. For I feel nothing now since my whole life is nothing but a shallow grave awaiting its prize"-Me

[Arienette]

<img src="http://www.theescapist.com/Andrew_Koenig.JPG"></img>those lump o' coal eyes are so sexy, i almost got a boner.

<center><img src="http://somesuch.org/sigpics/aricheat.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>everyone who pretended to like me is gone</center>

[PanterA]

I've noticed the past few days I been getting a boner on my way to work. I have no idea why, I think he's just happy to be alive. BUT It sucks cause I have to get out of my car in a big parking lot and the people that have been there since 6am are ALWAYS out on smoke breaks when I come into work. So I have to pretend that i'm reaching for things in my pocket to make up for the pants tent I got going.....

It's very humiliating :blush:

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This message was edited by PanterA on 6-25-04 @ 4:57 AM

[Furtherman]

This message was edited by Furtherman on 9-29-04 @ 6:20 PM