When is it right to send a poem to a woman

[Evilpete]

I've been talking to a woman for about a month, she wants to start as friends now and take it slow, which is cool with me since I think it'd be better to take it slowly than rush into things. Anyway, I was thinking of writing her a poem, but I don't know if it's too soon. Basicly, it would be me saying how much I like her and how beautiful I think she is.

The thing is I don't want to roooin what's happening now between us, but I also thought it would be nice to write her a poem

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[Uncle Smokey]

Is there any chance she's from Nantucket?

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[Evilpete]

anyone get any ideas about this?

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<marquee><b> IM me at Evilpete66 or I will be force to perform a "Tony Danza" on 'yo ass!!!

[Mike Teacher]

I wrote this one for a fine woman i went out with for years, but things just didnt pan out, anyway...

Roses Are Red
Violets Are Blue
You Fucking Bitch You Tore My Heart Out

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[Mike Teacher]

Honestly? I liken a poem to a Greeting or Birthday Card. Now, Kevin James did this bit on Comedy Central, but it was funny coz it was true;

He's like 'I hate getting those stupid cards coz then you have to actually sit there and spend the time to read it, and you have to put on that smiley, fake, I'm really interested, this-is-great Face on as you read it. [KJ does smily face thingy as he pretends to read it].

And then, how do you respond?

It's a personal thing for me. I really dislike getting gifts, cards, stuff like that. Why I dont know, its a part of me I dont understand, but you hand me a card, and even if what is inside turns out to be something really awesome; I'm still gonna fell uncomfortable about getting it and reading it.

Just me; I hope maybe you write her a nice poem and next thing you're boning her like the Real Estate King did Annette Benning in 'American Beauty'

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[sr71blackbird]

Whenever verse is created in honor of a woman, its more than "just friends" and she's gonna know what your feeling. If it isnt reciprocal, she's gonna run.

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[furie]

When is it right to send a poem to a woman


right after you lock the cage.


<img src="http://homepage.mac.com/furie1335/.Pictures/rfsigs/blazingfurie.jpg">

[JohnnyCash]

Send her an already published poem first. That way youre not putting yourself out there too much. Then after a little while give her one of your own.

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Thank You Reefdwella

[Tall_James]

http://www.poopylickles.com/images/poetrycp.gif


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Avoiding household responsibilites...one post at a time

[Mike Teacher]

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Most Poems Rhyme

This One Doesn't

Blog THIS! (http://www.miketheteacher.com)

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[CaptClown]

Anytime you feel comfortable sending it will be time enough.

She can't run away if you hobble her.

Director of the C.Y.A. Society.
Field Marshal of the K.I.S.S. Army
Poison Clan rocks the world

[Reephdweller]

Here's one I just whipped up...try it on her...

And from the dark secluded valleys
I heard the ancient songs of sadness
But every step I thought of you
Every footstep only you
And every star a grain of sand
The leavings of a dried up ocean
Tell me, how much longer? How much longer?

I have never in my life
Felt more alone than I do now
Although I claim dominions over all I see
It means nothing to me
There are no victories
In all our histories, without love.

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[silera]

Never.

It's the creepiest, dorkiest, lamest thing to do ever ever ever ever.


EVER.



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<font size="3" color="red">AND WHAT?</font></center><font color="FBF2F7">

[BrownTown]

The only way a poem is acceptable is if you're in grade school. If you're any older than that you probably want to find a new way to woo women.

<a href="http://www.sangwich.com">Listen To My Sounds</a>

[angrymissy]

Never.

It's the creepiest, dorkiest, lamest thing to do ever ever ever ever.


EVER.


agreed.


<BR><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/missy2.gif" width="300" height="100" border="1">

[jeffdwright2001]

I usually start my poem writing about the 2nd month into the stalking process.

http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v297/jeffdwright2001/Twain_quote.jpg

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

When is it right to send a poem to a woman

Before the restraining order goes into effect.

<IMG SRC=http://img18.photobucket.com/albums/v53/monster6sixty6/guests/alice_sig.gif>

Thanks M1! Again!

I try to comprehend you but I have a dyslexic heart.

[Jennitalia]

Don't do it!

<img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/Janice.jpg>

[EQ]

[quote]When is it right to send a poem to a woman

Before the restraining order goes into effect.




Damn Fuzzy.. You beat me to that one.
(I'll tell you you about my stalker if you tell me about yours....)


This message was edited by Elle Quinn on 7-7-04 @ 9:56 AM

[Jack_Doff]

The poem before you are dating is generally the deal breaker. You can however, read this poem at open mike's, play the role of the heartbroken romantic and possibly get women to sleep with you. So there's that upside.

[blakjeezis]

You should wait at least until your period's over, Mary.

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If I were any better, I'd have to be twins!!
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I'm Rick James, bitch!

[TheMojoPin]

Might as well just copy a Smiths' song, because that's all you're gonna be listening to when she rejects your poem-writing ass.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=TheMojoPin">
1979 << December boys got it BAD >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[mothershucker]

The only time you should write a poem for a girl is if she is your fiance and she is from Niagra Falls Oneterio Canada.

Poem = Gay.

I shucked it, and I shucked it, and I shucked it, i'm quite the mother shucker

[blakjeezis]

Oneterio Canada


Or if you're a memeber of the Oneders.

<IMG SRC =http://www.blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/bloodjeez.gif>
If I were any better, I'd have to be twins!!
<marquee><font color=red>INRI</font> White people are so scared of blakjeezis<font color=red> INRI</font></marquee>
I'm Rick James, bitch!

[Jennitalia]

Oneterio Canada


Or if you're a memeber of the Oneders.



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<img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/Janice.jpg>

[badorties]

writing a poem for her might be the worst idea you could do, except maybe getting her name tatooed on yer knuckles ...

have you tried flowers, maybe a nice home-cooked dinner or even a movie ...?


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[Furtherman]

This message was edited by Furtherman on 9-29-04 @ 6:02 PM

[grlNIN]

Good God No.

<br>
<br><center><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=ninny">
<br>I hope you know that this will go down on your permenent record</center>

[Patches]

Take a dump in an envelope and mail that. You'd probably get the same reaction when she opens it.

Seriously though- It won't work unless you're Robert Frost or she is the hippiest of hippie chicks. And even then you'll still need a guitar. The suggestion of an already published poem sounds best to me.

<img src=http://img24.photobucket.com/albums/v72/bcqueens/pj2.jpg>

<b>I distinctly heard 'Jew down the price.' -Ben Stein</B>

[badorties]

again, to reiterate

DO NOT WRITE HER A POEM

if you had to open up to her, make her a mix tape (or the more modern cd) ... it's sentimental, hokey and has been know to work ...

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[Jack_Doff]

Yeah and right after you make her the mix tape, make sure to invite her to the Seventh Grade dance. I'm sure she'll go, maybe her Mom can drive.

[mdr55]

Unless you are going out with her----send her a poem. ("Ah, that's sweet of you- so romantic")

If you're just friends-------Don't send her a poem. ("Ummm....what does this mean?....we're just friends right? I don't want you to think I'm leading you on or anything.")


After you send her the poem and another poem, and some flowers and she doesn't return your phone calls. ("Hello 9-11, I'd like to file a restraining order").



Send her the poem and see what happens? You never know......she could warm up to you or she can go cold.

Maybe you should talk to Marist Mike.........I think that he may be trying to steal your chic. ;p

[badorties]

Yeah and right after you make her the mix tape, make sure to invite her to the Seventh Grade dance. I'm sure she'll go, maybe her Mom can drive.


ouch

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[jeffdwright2001]

After looking at the majority of responses, allow me to add this piece of advice.

If you DO end up writing her a poem, DO NOT post it on this board to see what everyone thinks about it. Just saving you some grief in advance budday.

http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v297/jeffdwright2001/Twain_quote.jpg

[TheMojoPin]

Hey, making mix tapes/CD's is GOLD.

I STILL get play from those things if you do 'em right. They're a perfect "in," especially with hot indie chicks.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=TheMojoPin">
1979 << December boys got it BAD >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[grlNIN]

Hey, making mix tapes/CD's is GOLD.



<img src="http://img4.photobucket.com/albums/0703/mia21/high_fidelity_23.jpg" width=230>



<I>The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules. ....</i>

<br>
<br><center><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=ninny">
<br>I hope you know that this will go down on your permenent record</center>

[TheMojoPin]

Yeah, that movie slammed home with a LOT of music nerds, that's for sure.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=TheMojoPin">
1979 << December boys got it BAD >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[jeffdwright2001]

I STILL get play from those things if you do 'em right. They're a perfect "in," especially with hot indie chicks.
http://www.indyesp.net/fotos/jovenindy/yij21br.jpg
"You can call me 'Indie' and pay no attention to my large hands and feet."

http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v297/jeffdwright2001/Twain_quote.jpg

This message was edited by jeffdwright2001 on 7-7-04 @ 2:14 PM

[TheMojoPin]

Mix tapes work on so many levels.

They allow you to be INCREDIBLY cool and emotional...without you having to say anything to actually fuck that up until you're already in like Flynn.

They can either mean everything you're trying to say from your heart and feel for her...or it can just be whatever she wants to hear. It's not ACTUALLY a lie since I'm not ACTUALLY saying or promising anything. Either way, I get what I want, and usually she does, too. At least for a little while.

AND they're an excellent gauge to see if you actually want to be with somebody, or just go for a few fucks and be gone. I'm SO incredibly shallow over what kind of books, music or films someone likes, so the mix tape is a BEAUTIFUL way to test the waters. If she likes the thing, good. If she loves it, even better. If she loves it, AND recognizes more than half the bands/songs I put on there? I'm fucking marrying her on the spot.


<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=TheMojoPin">
1979 << December boys got it BAD >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

This message was edited by TheMojoPin on 7-7-04 @ 2:20 PM

[Patches]

Try cash.

<img src=http://img24.photobucket.com/albums/v72/bcqueens/pj2.jpg>

<b>I distinctly heard 'Jew down the price.' -Ben Stein</B>

[Justice4all]

Pete...I know where you heart is at with this one. Trust me I do, but before you try ANYTHING like that, wait to see if the relationship will move in the direction you want it to. I would whip out poetry only as a LAST resort. ONLY if you know that it will not go the way you want it to.
Just be patient my young padawan learner. Your time will come.
Good luck in the meantime buddy.

<img src=http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/Justice4All.gif>
"At 16 I was masturbating in a sweat-sock"-Jay Mohr

[Cybersoldier]

it depends on the woman and the chemistry, my girlfriend love the fact I write poems for her. It all about timing, sometimes you got to go with your guts and go for it.

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Thanks for the sig monsterone

[Yerdaddy]

He's right, timing is very important with poetry and women. For example, once I've got the women where I want them I've never lost a woman with my favorite poem:

It rubs the lotion on the skin;
or else it gets the hose again.

Gets em every time.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=bonedaddy5">
Fuck it from behind.

[badorties]

mojo says:

Mix tapes work on so many levels.


the beasties say:

i feel like a winner when i make a mix tape
because i get ill when i'm on the pause button
and i get my fill and you can't say nothing



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[Evilpete]

thanks for the advice peeps. I sent it to her, and she thought it was sweet of me to, but we still "have to talk" (not about this but other issues she has. She told me of these "issues" before I sent the poem)

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IM: Evilpete66
Blog (AKA random thoughts of a loser):
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[Jennitalia]

any time a person says, "we have to talk", it's usually not a good sign.

<img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/Janice.jpg>

[jeffdwright2001]

any time a person says, "we have to talk", it's usually not a good sign.
Unless they are Helen Keller or a mime.

http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v297/jeffdwright2001/Twain_quote.jpg

[silera]

This relationship is going to end badly.


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<font size="3" color="red">AND WHAT?</font></center><font color="FBF2F7">

[Patches]

This relationship is going to end badly


Unless you get married, live to a 100 and die together, eventually they all end badly.

And yes I am a miserable bastard.

<img src=http://img24.photobucket.com/albums/v72/bcqueens/pj2.jpg>

<b>I distinctly heard 'Jew down the price.' -Ben Stein</B>

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

any time a person says, "we have to talk", it's usually not a good sign.

Yeah, very few relationships have survived after that little nugget.



<IMG SRC=http://img18.photobucket.com/albums/v53/monster6sixty6/guests/alice_sig.gif>

Thanks M1! Again!

I try to comprehend you but I have a dyslexic heart.

[Emeril_Dice]

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO WRITE A POEM TO SOME FILTHY ANIMAL?????????????? RIGHT AFTER YOU REMOVE MY SAUSAGE FROM YOUR THROAT AND WHIPE OFF YOUR STUCK SHUT EYES. OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<img src="http://img18.photobucket.com/albums/v53/monster6sixty6/guests/emeril_dice2.jpg">

[Jack_Doff]

she thought it was sweet of me to


Kiss of death right there. Let me guess, next is coming "Such a good friend and I don't want to lose that" or "I haven't been avoiding you, I've just been really busy lately". Well, at least you will get a bunch of great poetry about chasing after her and being oh, so close. Sounds like BoBeefy territory...

[Lumber]

As long as she`s not from Bethpage, you`ll be fine...

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[BoondockSaint]

When is it right to send a poem to a woman


Any time you can work in the classic lines:

Two in the pink
One in the stink

(On another note, I think Emeril_Dice has lost his funny.)

http://img2.photobucket.com/albums/v11/squrl/sogsig2.jpg
Thanks to monsterone for the sig!

[Borne Too Loose]

Yeah, I hate to say it, having written ass loads of it myself, but being a grown man, I can honestly say the only appropriate time to give a poem to a girl and not come across as a little lame is when your in high school, or when your Jim Morrison.



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Big Ass 24651, and Don't You Forget It.
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[TheMojoPin]

Jim Morrison is a dork BECAUSE of his poetry.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=TheMojoPin">
1979 << December boys got it BAD >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[Jennitalia]

Jim Morrison is a dork BECAUSE of his poetry.



i'd still fuck him back in the day

<img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/Janice.jpg>