Katylina
07-19-2004, 05:04 PM
First, I get up every half hour from 1 am until 6 am, and have the compulsion to anxiously look at the clock.
Then, when I finally get myself out of bed at 6 am (I normally get up at 6:40, but I gave up on sleep), I look in the mirror to see the horror which I call my eyes. They are red, swollen, itchy, painful and swollen. It seems I must have been allergic to something environmental when I went canoeing, so my eyes blew up.
I go to work, and have a mental melt-down because of the large amount of workload put on my shoulders for the summer session. We are training new teachers because 6 teachers left at the end of June. Normally, we take data, graph, make curriculum and go to the homes of 1-2 children. This summer I have 3 because no one knows the programs of the little guys, and I have been with them for going on 3 years. This means, I do everything for my two boys and go to camp 2 days a week with Fiona (which is a whole other stressful situation). So let's just say, I live, breathe, sleep autism 7 days a week.
The kids come in at 9 am, mind you, we now have new high function Asperger's children in the class now that I have never worked on. Really smart kids who can talk and have control issues. I ask Daniel, a seventh grader, to choose between computer and TV because he has the TV blaring and he is on the PC at the same time. Daniel gets mad and throws me across the room. So, I have to follow through and turn the TV off. He is now pushing me and squeezing my arm. I finally get the vcr tape out and he dives at me with a marker, writes all over my new shirt, and twists and squeezes my arm as hard as he can. So all of the new teachers are just staring, and I'm like, someone go get the consultant pronto because I do not know Daniel's behavior contract.
It has come to the point where I hate going to work, and I tell my boss this. She speaks to me in her condescending manner saying everyone has these breakdowns once in awhile and that in this period of transition I should basically SUCK IT UP and cope. I want to tell her to go fuck herself, but of course I do not, and go back to my classroom where Daniel perseverates for the rest of the day about how sorry he is that he hurt me.
So at lunch, I call my mother to bitch, and she tells me that my grandmother, who has a ripped rotator cuff, diabetes and a heart condition has to go to surgery on Wed. and there's a 50/50 chance she will make it. More tears. Take a personal day for Wed.
Move on to 2:00, my boss comes in and tells me I have to go to the doctor with Jack and his parents tomorrow morning. I talk to Jack's mom and she says, "We will bring his Dad with us because it is a bitch to hold him down." Oh God- what have I gotten myself into? I should wear armor tomorrow to the doctor.
So at the end of the day, I am trying to prep another teacher about what she has to do with Fiona at camp since I will be out Wed., gather Jack's stuff for the doctor tomorrow, and organize my kid's areas at the same time, when my lead decides she wants to call a meeting. She gives me an attitude because I am still trying to pack up Jack's stuff and am not sitting with the rest of the teachers. Grr.
After I go to the doctor and get my eye cream (insert cum joke here), the pharmacy says they ran out of the medication. I have to drive all the way to another pharmacy, wait twenty minutes, and finally get my eye cream (which burns like hell when applied).
I feel very isolated and alone and frustrated. I just have to bitch bitch bitch. Tomorrow is a new day, but ugh, Monday truly sucks.
<center>
<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=katylina">
<a href="http://www.pagerealm.com/katylina/index.html" target=_new>Katylina's Web Page</a>
<br>
<br>
<marquee>Sometimes I feel I've got to run away I've got to get away from the pain you drive into the heart of me. The love we share seems to go nowhere. And I've lost my light, for I toss and turn I can't sleep at night<marquee>
Then, when I finally get myself out of bed at 6 am (I normally get up at 6:40, but I gave up on sleep), I look in the mirror to see the horror which I call my eyes. They are red, swollen, itchy, painful and swollen. It seems I must have been allergic to something environmental when I went canoeing, so my eyes blew up.
I go to work, and have a mental melt-down because of the large amount of workload put on my shoulders for the summer session. We are training new teachers because 6 teachers left at the end of June. Normally, we take data, graph, make curriculum and go to the homes of 1-2 children. This summer I have 3 because no one knows the programs of the little guys, and I have been with them for going on 3 years. This means, I do everything for my two boys and go to camp 2 days a week with Fiona (which is a whole other stressful situation). So let's just say, I live, breathe, sleep autism 7 days a week.
The kids come in at 9 am, mind you, we now have new high function Asperger's children in the class now that I have never worked on. Really smart kids who can talk and have control issues. I ask Daniel, a seventh grader, to choose between computer and TV because he has the TV blaring and he is on the PC at the same time. Daniel gets mad and throws me across the room. So, I have to follow through and turn the TV off. He is now pushing me and squeezing my arm. I finally get the vcr tape out and he dives at me with a marker, writes all over my new shirt, and twists and squeezes my arm as hard as he can. So all of the new teachers are just staring, and I'm like, someone go get the consultant pronto because I do not know Daniel's behavior contract.
It has come to the point where I hate going to work, and I tell my boss this. She speaks to me in her condescending manner saying everyone has these breakdowns once in awhile and that in this period of transition I should basically SUCK IT UP and cope. I want to tell her to go fuck herself, but of course I do not, and go back to my classroom where Daniel perseverates for the rest of the day about how sorry he is that he hurt me.
So at lunch, I call my mother to bitch, and she tells me that my grandmother, who has a ripped rotator cuff, diabetes and a heart condition has to go to surgery on Wed. and there's a 50/50 chance she will make it. More tears. Take a personal day for Wed.
Move on to 2:00, my boss comes in and tells me I have to go to the doctor with Jack and his parents tomorrow morning. I talk to Jack's mom and she says, "We will bring his Dad with us because it is a bitch to hold him down." Oh God- what have I gotten myself into? I should wear armor tomorrow to the doctor.
So at the end of the day, I am trying to prep another teacher about what she has to do with Fiona at camp since I will be out Wed., gather Jack's stuff for the doctor tomorrow, and organize my kid's areas at the same time, when my lead decides she wants to call a meeting. She gives me an attitude because I am still trying to pack up Jack's stuff and am not sitting with the rest of the teachers. Grr.
After I go to the doctor and get my eye cream (insert cum joke here), the pharmacy says they ran out of the medication. I have to drive all the way to another pharmacy, wait twenty minutes, and finally get my eye cream (which burns like hell when applied).
I feel very isolated and alone and frustrated. I just have to bitch bitch bitch. Tomorrow is a new day, but ugh, Monday truly sucks.
<center>
<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=katylina">
<a href="http://www.pagerealm.com/katylina/index.html" target=_new>Katylina's Web Page</a>
<br>
<br>
<marquee>Sometimes I feel I've got to run away I've got to get away from the pain you drive into the heart of me. The love we share seems to go nowhere. And I've lost my light, for I toss and turn I can't sleep at night<marquee>