emotional abuse

[deepend]

I rarely ever post here, just a phantom lurker, unless I need to get something off my mind. Today is no different. After almost a four year relationship with my boyfriend, I finally started looking into emotional and verbal abuse and what it really means, and if it applies to me. I happened to come across a website that had a 'if you answer yes to more than 4 questions, get help!' site, and I pretty much answered 'yes' to about 30 questions. It scared the shit out of me...example:
Does your partner
-ignore your feelings? ---yes
-disrespect you?--yes
-withhold approval, appreciation, or affection?--yes
-give you the silent treatment?--yes
-seem to make sure that what you really want is exactly what you won't get?--yes
This is just a sample of the first few questions on the list. Now, I don't think of myself as a dumb chick, I actually think I am the best girlfriend anyone could have. I don't know why I stay with this dude. I love him. (<---insert Lifetime drama music here.) It has just driven me to the lowest self-esteem I've ever had. He'll apologize, but eventually go back to his normal bi-polar self. The hardest part is that my friends are his friends (mine first, for the curious) and I'm terrified to handle this all alone. I know I'm wrong and I should be strong.
All my ramblings aside, I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation or if anyone has some good advice to just help me sleep better or find a way to communicate with him without feeling like I'm walking on eggshells and let him know what he's doing. Thanks buddys.

The only problem with reality is the lack of background music

[fiestygal]

...and people wanna know why i am the way i am



for most of my life (from teens and on) i have been emotionally abused... whether severe or not




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AIM- yelowrose1981

Its time to party.... Italian Style

[Late2party]

Gee, how is it that I have this big huge emotional landing pad and it doesn't seem to do me all that well in the medium-to-long range?

Seriously, back to you, it sucks that things went badly for you.

Try again.

[deepend]

I also must clarify...this is only my SECOND serious relationship ever (I'm 26, how sad) and my previous one lasted about 5 years, nothing similar to what is happening now. I suppose I just need to get my heart trampled on a few more times in the future to become numb to all this garbage. Carry on.

The only problem with reality is the lack of background music

[fiestygal]

WOW- 5 yrs is a long ass time


p.s. you arent sad

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AIM- yelowrose1981

Its time to party.... Italian Style

[grlNIN]

He sounds like a world class jerkoff. I'd give him the option to seek counseling(possibly for the both of you and on your own) if you really wanna try to make the relationship work, but honestly i don't think it will. Cut your loses and take the high road, no one should ever make you feel less than you're worth, least of all someone you're involved with.


Don't waste any more of your time.

<br>
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<br>I hope you know that this will go down on your permenent record</center>

[FUNKMAN]

NIN has a great way with words and is 'right' to the point...

i would also say 'don't sell yourself short'... odds are he is not gonna change so be strong and move on... you have nothing to feel guilty about and you have your whole life ahead of you...

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[wilee]

People don't tend to change to quickly. I know a girl who consistantly gets into relationships with men who abuse her emotionally. She excuses it and passes it off as "he's having a bad day.." or something. Several of her friends including me have pointed out that she's making excuses for what is so patently obvious.

The first person you should think about is yourself. It's not being selfish, but if you're not happy, or if you're being emotionally/physically abused, no one is going to be able to help you unless you help yourself. Don't justify what's going on for some BS reason. Either find someone who makes you happy and cares about you, or learn to be happy without someone.

Don't be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship.

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[DarkHippie]

He'll apologize, but eventually go back to his normal bi-polar self.
Is he really bi-polar, or are you exaggerating? If he is, (so am I so I know what i'm talking about here) without serious meds, he'll never change and you're best off without him.

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<marquee> Check out DarkHippie's latest story, "Keeper", at http://home.pcisys.net/~drmforge/dftoc2.htm </marquee>

[Evilpete]

Emotional abuse is as horrible as physical, any guy whod does it is a pussy and should be viciously beaten by someone who cares for the woman.

I always follow the idea that women are goddesses and should be treated as such, buy makeing them feel like the most important thing in the world. deepend, if I were you I would get out of the relationship and find someone else, there is someone out there ready to treat you like the greatest thing in his life.

You may also may want to get out and stop getting into relationships for a while. You could take the time to reevaluate what you want in a relaionship and then you would know what you exactly what you want in your relationships...

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IM: Evilpete66
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