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Variations on a theme - comedic lines [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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jeffdwright2001
08-25-2004, 09:37 AM
Evidently, I'm not feeling very original.

But the Rodney Dangerfield thread had me going back over some of my favorite quips/quotes from older Comedians.

I acknowledge that there are a lot of funny folks out there, but they are already getting enough press.

You don't hear much about the folks that helped establish some of the core concepts of comedy.

So, here are a couple of Old School comics that I like and some of my favorite lines from them.

W.C. Fields:

(Asked if he believed in clubs for women, Fields responded:) "Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails."

(Invited to play golf by someone he didn't like, Fields responded:) "When I want to play with a prick, I'll play with my own."

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies

Man: "I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time." WC: "A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy."

More W.C. quotes here (http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/quotes/wcfields.html)

Groucho Marx:

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next year.

Last night I shot an elephant in my Pajamas and how he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

More Groucho here (http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/quotes/grouchomarx.html)

What are some of your favorite lines from Comedians (and Comediennes)?

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"Man is the only animal that blushes . . . or needs to" - Mark Twain
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reeshy
08-25-2004, 09:43 AM
"shut the fuck up"...Jackie Gleason to Art Carnie....off stage!!!!!!! ....While drunk!!!!!!

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