What NEVER Works in Romance ??

[Mike Teacher]

Last night Ron had a rant that would have had Dennis Miller saying 'Shit, this guys got some Chops!' Find the Segment.

It was essentially all the things people Say are Really Romantic, but when people actually Try them, it Sucks.

He went OFF on the 'Taking a Bath together' thing: One of you gets the Bath Spout sticking in your back, or you try to '2 person bobsled' position, and it just always Sucks.

'Long Walks on the Beach' was another, specifically the ones you always hear about where the people have their shoes off and their pants on and theyre wet a bit but it's romantic right? NO!

I live the town over from Belmar and NO ONE does these Beach Walks! Especially in the Rain!

Buying Lingerie for her was another: What Romance Cliches have you tried that scored a Big Zero on the Romance meter?

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[JPMNICK]

the old "slip it out of the vagina and into the back door and try and pretend it was a mistake" never works, and usally kills the mood to stop sex all together



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[CaptClown]

Spooning never works especially if one has gas.

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[JPMNICK]

writing a girl a poem. never works. comes off as corny or stalkerish

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[Hottub]

Don't ever try to give her a "facial" during oral!

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[Iamnotatool]

Hottub, cumming on a girl's face after oral sex is MUCH better than pulling your cock out of her ass, THEN directing the nuts to shoot on her face, trust me on this.


Roses and chocolates, they never work. Even if they do, they shouldn't. Be a little more creative.


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[Jennitalia]

the old "slip it out of the vagina and into the back door and try and pretend it was a mistake" never works, and usally kills the mood to stop sex all together



so true! although it did eventually work for a guy friend of mine with his gf.

I also agree that roses (or flowers in general) and chocolate suck.

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[reeshy]

I usually tell the girl that I love...buy her a McDonald's Big Mac....then drag her to the trunk!!!! Works for me!!!!

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[keithy_19]

Saying "five bucks baby and i promise I won't cum in your mouth."

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[JesterOfSadness]

When you go to finger a chick and sniff your finger afterwards and end with "ok i cant do this"

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[DJEvelEd]

When a bitch rims my asshole, I sometimes spray her face with diarrhea.










Works for me though.






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[Hottub]

Let's try and drag this thread out of the sewer, and at least to the gutter:

Trying to be romantic after a jog, or mowing the lawn does not work. That sexy musky smell that is supposed to turn women on is actually stanky sweat and swamp-ass

Getting your lady to work off "morning wood" does not work!
You got horrible breath, and probably the aforementioned stanky sweat and swamp-ass!!

As Mike said, a bath does not work, (unless it is a jacuzzi tub). A shower DOES work. Make sure it is followed up by careful towelling, and lotion application.

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"Ahh, Beer. The cause of, and answer to all of life's problems"
Big A.S.S.#22127
The Cruising Vessel (http://www.silentpix.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Myalbums&file=thumbnails&album=41)

This message was edited by Hottub on 9-15-04 @ 9:18 PM

[FUNKMAN]

talking about past relationships usualy kills it... i've seen it on Blind Date a bunch of times



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[GodsFavoriteMan]

I've never tried any of the cliche things. But one thing that has worked surprisingly well is this. On a first date (if you're really into the girl) take her to a bookstore (lame) ask her what shit she likes (they always like something) and read or look over it with her. Then if/when she asks what you like, take her to the childrens' books section (shows that you like kids and have a sensitive side) then pick out the funny books (Stinky Cheese Man is the best) and read them with her. Each book you read, you're side by side, she'll think you're funny and sweet, and you'll feel more comfortable about pulling a move. Also, if it's not working and she still seems distance, then you can buy her a drink at the in store coffee shop and slip her a roofie.

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[JPMNICK]

then on your one year anniversary you can buy her the books.


then when you are banging her, try the "slipped" thing i mentioned above

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This message was edited by JPMNICK on 9-15-04 @ 10:01 PM

[FUNKMAN]

when the girl reaches down and gets a finger full of your own cum and sticks it in your mouth...

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[JPMNICK]

that would only happen once. step 2 of that night would be me digging a hole

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[bobrobot]

Love is a pyramid scheme, the least worthy benefit the most.

a sadist is a person who is kind to a masochist

[mikeyboy]

Then if/when she asks what you like, take her to the childrens' books section (shows that you like kids and have a sensitive side)


It also could show that you're not that smart and don't read "adult" books. I think this could backfire big time.

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[Bill From Yorktown]

Any form of communication (txt, email, phone call, answering machine message) at 2 in the morning when drunk. Always always always a bad idea.

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[DarkHippie]

Showing up at her window playing "In Your Eyes"

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