Funny joke thread

[WNEWstinks]

I'm a c-section baby, you can tell I'm a c-section baby because I'm not good with the ladies, well that and every time I leave my house I go through the window.


Keep em comming.

I'M GETTING BILLY STAPLES BIG ASS CARD!!!

[mikeyboy]

I think you just tainted your own "funny joke" thread.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=mikeyboy">
Ron & Fez Show Log (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)
Just because you don't listen doesn't mean I don't have a radio show
The Music Mikey Likes Show on radiobbq, weekdays 12-2 (http://www.radiobbq.net)

[booster11373]

????????????

i dont get it

[SatCam]

Why did WNEWstinks cross the road?

It doesn't matter, because half-way across he was hit by a car :quest:

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig89_general_snoopdog.jpg" align="right" alt="Nigguh pleeze" /><a href="http://www.satelitecam.tk">Ron and Fez Drops and Bits</a>

50%[color=white]

[Mike Teacher]

I think you just tainted your own "funny joke" thread.


Like walking the lead off batter.

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/miketeachr/esig">

[Zipgun]

A guy walks into a pub, and above the bar there's a sign.

Domestic Pints - 3.00
Imports - 4.00
Hot Dogs - 1.00
Cheese Sandwiches - 4.00
Hand Jobs - 10.00

There's three hot bartenders working, so he checks his wallet, and has a nice crisp 10 dollar bill.

So he walks up to the bar and asks the bartender "are you the one who gives hand jobs?"

"Yeah, that's me"

"Good... now go wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich"



<img src=http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/skidmarkgacysig.jpg>

[color=White]

This message was edited by skidmark on 10-24-04 @ 2:45 AM

[reeshy]

think you just tainted your own "funny joke" thread.


I think WNEWstinks is a taint!!!!

[center]<IMG SRC="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=reeshy">
[center]

[Snoogans]

Why do black people put out garbage in clear plastic bags?


So Puerto Ricans can window shop

http://home.comcast.net/~rmfallon/RFnetSnoogs.jpg
http://snoogans194.blogspot.com/
GO SAWX!!!!!
The worst choke job in the history of sports Snoogans 1, Monitor 0

[Justice4all]

A baby is born at the hospital and as soon as he comes out he looks at the Dr. and say "Are you my daddy?"
the Dr. goes..."No, I'm the Doctor"
Then the baby is handed to the mother and says.."Are you my daddy?" She mother looks at him and goes "No...I'm your mother"
Then they hand the baby to his father and he says "Are you my daddy??"
The man looks into his sons eyes and says "Yes I am your daddy"

The kid then pokes him REALLY hard on the forehead over and over and say "Well how do YOU like it now?????"

<img src=http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/Justice4All.gif>
"What did he want???"
"What do all men want Phillip?"
"He wants you to dress up like Wonder Woman, tie him up with your golden lariat and force him to tell the truth?????"

[newport king]

a guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says to the bartender,"i'll take a beer....and one for the road."
thanks i'll be here all weekend, try the veal.

<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/bonedaddy5/images/newportking.jpg">

[FUNKMAN]

what's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

the location of the dirtbag...

<img src="http://www.grandfunkrailroad.com/images/3dflagsdotcom_gfr_2fawl.gif">

[SatCam]

What's the difference between WNEWstinks and a rock?

Rocks dont spray water at old ladies.

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig89_general_snoopdog.jpg" align="right" alt="Nigguh pleeze" /><a href="http://www.satelitecam.tk">Ron and Fez Drops and Bits</a>

50%[color=white]

This message was edited by SatCam on 10-24-04 @ 1:24 PM

[MrPink]

whats worse than a dead baby in barrel?
a dead baby in 8 barrels!

"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me"

[FUNKMAN]

what's the difference between a microwave oven and a gay guy...

a microwave oven doesn't brown your meat

<img src="http://www.grandfunkrailroad.com/images/3dflagsdotcom_gfr_2fawl.gif">

[IamFogHat]

What do you get when you skin a baby alive and roll it around in a vat of sault?
An erection.

The Dude abides

[Tall_James]

WNEWstinks walks into an empty bar for a drink and sees a gorilla sitting on a barstool not too far from him. He asks the bartender "Why is there a gorilla there?" The bartender tells him "that he keeps the beast there for a specific purpose." WNEWstinks is curious so he asks the bartender what is the gorilla's purpose. In answer, the bartender walks down the bar to where the gorilla is, reaches behind the bar and pulls out a baseball bat and proceeds to crack the gorilla upside the head with a might swing. WNEWstinks is horrified until he sees the gorilla jump up, run around the bar to where the bartender is, pull down the bartender's pants and start to give the guy a blowjob. When the bartender climaxes, the gorilla casually walks back around the bar and gets back up on the stool where he was sitting before.

The bartender then walks back to WNEWstinks and says "how about that!". Wnewstinks is amazed and tells the bartender so. The bartender then comes closer to WNEWstinks and says (so the gorilla can't hear) "Would you like to give it a try?" To which WNEWstinks says...

"Sure. But do me a favor and don't hit me with the bat too hard."

<img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/layla.jpg>
[center]"Freakshow Makes...Tall James Takes"

[Hottub]

So there were these three "strings" that were really great buddies.
They did everything together. One day they were walking down the
street when they happened upon a bar. All being rather thirsty, they
deceided to go in and have a cool one. Well, just as they were about
to walk in the door, they noticed a sign in the window that said, "NO
STRINGS SERVED HERE!". Needless to say they were a bit upset by this.
But, the first string, being rather bold, said to his friends, "You
guys wait here, and I'll go in and `feel' the place out and if it's OK
I'll come out and get you, OK?"

This seemed like a good plan so they all agreed. The first string went
in and sat down at the bar. As soon as he got there, the bartender
noticed him and came over. The barterder said to the first string,
"Say, you're a string, arn't you?" To which the first string replied,
"Wellll, yes..". In a very loud voice the bartender said, "YOU GET OUT
OF HERE, we don't serve your kind in here!!!!". So the first string
went back outside to talk to his friends and tell them of his
expirence.

After hearing the story the second string says, "Well, obviously you
just wern't forceful enough in there." Standing up straight and tall,
the second string walks into the bar, sits down at the counter and
says, "Hey, bartender, how 'bout gettn' me a beer?". The bartender
came over, looked the second string up and down, and said, "Hey, buddy,
we don't serve your kind in here. Get out-a here!!". So the the
second string left the bar and went outside and told his two friends
what had happened.

After hearing the story, the third string said, "Well, you need to be
cool about the whole thing, just watch this...". The third string
twists himself into a knot, rubs the strands at one end and walks in.
He saunters up to the bar and says "Say, bartender, I'd like a beer,
please." The bartender comes over, looks at the third string and says,
"Hey, wait a minute, you're a string aren't you?" To which the third
string replies, "Oh no, I'm a frayed knot!"


<img src="http://artemis.gamedaemons.net/hottub.gif" border=0 align=right>

"Ahh, Beer. The cause of, and answer to all of life's problems"
Big A.S.S.#22127
The Cruising Vessel (http://www.silentpix.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Myalbums&file=thumbnails&album=41)

[Wolf]

Here's an awful one from the south park folks...

http://www.muchosucko.com/video-southparkjoke.html

Not work friendly.

Support Independent Music!
http://www.frichild.com - Tom Walker
http://www.rogerclyne.net - Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers

This message was edited by cuttericeman on 10-25-04 @ 3:00 PM