curtoid...you bring up a point that has been SORELY missing from this board for quite some time.
Like yourself, I have seen an outpouring of bratty kids left and right.
No 'please' or 'thanks you's' out of any of them.
I think my parents did a pretty great job raising me. I have seen the way some of these kids act and think to myself "If I had done that my parents would have KILLED me when i get home!"
But I think a big part of it is teaching them respect. Respect for others and respect for themselves.
It's upon the foundation of respect that it's easier to impress upon them the importance of boundries.
Very very true....you hit on two key words JDW...respect AND boundries! A child needs to learn both at a VERY early age. Respect teaches them to be a good person inside and be more focused on the PERSON giving the gift instead of the gift itself like the one you pointed out curtiod.
Boundries means they will not get everything they yell and scream about and will learn that they have to earn certain things.
Fiesty I have a cousin who has a 5 year old girl. This little kid was spoiled ROTTEN. I mean ROTTEN. She can be an angel but if she does not get her way she is a little bitch. It is because my aunt, uncle, both my cousins (the girls mother and aunt) and father spoiled the living crap outta her. And now when she acts up they roll their eyes like "oh gee what can we do now?"
I want to smack them upside the head and say "do SOMETHING you retards because you caused this!"
Boundries keep this from happening.
I'd imagine leading by example is a good method.
ADF....FUCKING BRILLIANT! Right on the head! Kids respect do-as-I-do alot more then do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do. If you can't walk the walk don't talk the talk. My parents did that alot when I was growing up. The rules seemed to change with each child as I got older (I have 3 siblings)
Hottub...are you trying to raise the next Einstein? I did not see anything about being totally active in the kids life. Play ball with him, catch, go to games, coach little league teams or at least attend the games. Things like that are not only important it is imperative. Have him join in a group activity. That helps her/him learn that teamwork is important as well. But you do have a good hint as trying to develope the child at an early age.
I think positive re-enforcement is a blessing with a child. You can chastise them which they should know that wrong is wrong and punishment is coming but always let them know their good qualities. That way they always know you can see the good inside of them instead of just the shit you are upset over.
Lastly....do NOT be afraid (like SO many other people are) of spanking your child. I have seen kids HIT, and I mean PUNCH, their father/mother. And they just grab the hand and go "no hitting".
Shit if my son/daughter raised their hand to me or their mother I would bring them out to the car (if we were in a public place) and tan their behind (hitting above the neck is a no no) until they could not sit down. One of the most feared things I heard from my mother was "Wait until your father gets home" Now kids are going "if you hit me I will shout child abuse". I did that once...and my parents just went...go ahead.
Soap in the mouth when they curse, stuff like that.
Because time outs are NOT working like some people think they are.
Anyway...that is my viewpoint. You all had GREAT points to share as well.
<img src=http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/Justice4All.gif>
"What did he want???"
"What do all men want Phillip?"
"He wants you to dress up like Wonder Woman, tie him up with your golden lariat and force him to tell the truth?????"
This message was edited by Justice4all on 10-29-04 @ 9:25 AM