My "Friend" Has Disappeared

[Tazz]

Ok, so I was dating this woman. Some of you know the story, for those that don't, it's not important. It was long distance, and things happened that made it impossible to continue. But we absolutely wanted to be friends and f-buddies if necessary.

She went to Texas for Thanksgiving, and had a job interview the day before. She text messaged me on Saturday saying that she was heading home to Virginia, and I haven't heard anything since.

I called her house yesterday for the first time in months, and her number was disconnected. So I called her work (no, I am not a stalker, I just want to know if she is alive), and they told me that she used to work there, but is no longer in the area.

She left her job in one day?

So, either she just decided a long time ago she was moving to Texas and never told me, or something is seriously wrong. She has never gone this long without contacting me, and quite frankly, I am scared shitless. If she just wants to move on, I can handle that. But the fear that something is wrong is overpowering me, because there is no way I can find anything out......

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[mikeyboy]

I don't know your situation, and I don't want to trivialize your relationship, but it's possible that she wanted a clean break, and she felt that the only way she could do that was to move away and not tell you that she was going or where she was going.

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[TheMojoPin]

If you're absolutely determined to find out where and how she is, there's always the private investigator route. It's not nearly as sleazy as the movies imply...most of these people simply find other people for a living, do security investigations and background checks...if she's out there somewhere and you use a reputable firm, they'll find her.

Does she have any family you can contact? Mutual friends?

But along with what mikeyboy said, if you DID do something like that, it might be best just make sure she's OK, but not necessarily contacting her. Not to be harsh, but she may have cut things off for a reason. Your concern is more than understandable, but who knows why she did what she did...

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[Tazz]

She pretty much stopped talking to our only mutual friend when the problems started that started the end of our relationship a few months ago.

If she wanted a clean break, that is fine. I just want to know that she is at least safe and not dead somewhere.

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[Jennitalia]

Sorry, Jon. I think she just wanted a clean break also.

But, I wouldn't be surprised if a few weeks / months from now you get an unexpected call or email

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[Iamnotatool]

If she changed her name and hair color, she may wanna break it off.

Bitches do this stupid shit all the time, as I am sure we do as well.

Things are going good, or ok or whatever, then suddenly, one person's mind changes, and the other person has to just sit there and accept it. You can't ask questions, you aren't owed any explanation. Frankly, I think it's horseshit, but its life.

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[stickyfingers]

is she a deuce...deuce and a half?

That would be crazy though if its someone you talk to that regularly

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[Tazz]

We talked everynight. On Saturday, when she sent the message that she was heading home, she noted that she still had to tell me how the interview went. So, I kinda expected to hear from her. Why cut it off mid-thought?

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[Reephdweller]

That is kind've weird and I totally understand your concern. If it is like the others have said a clean break then you can either wait to hear from her. Or hire a private investigator in lieu of your no longer having mutual friends. Though I would simply keep it to finding out that she's there and okay and leave it at that. If she wants to contact you after that then it's her business. Hope everything works out for your friend.

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[Tazz]

I agree. Like I said, I don't care if she wants a clean break, I just need to know she is ok. A private detective seems a little pricey so soon.

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[Tazz]

I heard from her on the way home, I know nothing else other than she is alive, but that's enough for me.

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[Iamnotatool]

Well it's not enough for me damnit!!!! I want more info!


What happened to this crazy chick???

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[Billy Staples]

How are the tires on her car?

flat yet???

[Reephdweller]

DAMN YOU!! FOILED AGAIN!!

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[Tenbatsuzen]

Tazz, I know I told you this in an IM, but if she did in fact hold back information about her moving out of her place and leaving her job, she's shady as hell and not worth the trouble.

I wouldn't confront her on that, but I would try to move on.



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[Tenbatsuzen]

How are the tires on her car?

flat yet???



Hey, how was trying to get a job in LA?

Working yet???



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[fiestygal]

It is nice that you want to know if she is ok and all BUT she does sound shady and maybe for the best she is no longer a factor in your life...bad karma and aura and shit like that

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[mdr55]

"My 'Friend' has disappeared"........that's your story, don't forget it.




Just make sure they don't look in the basement. Then you got some explaining to do.

[Evilpete]

Fiestygal is right...

it would have been nice if she did come out and said she wants nothing to do with you (nice in that at least she's up front about it), but if she's not classy enough to do this and have you playing phone tag with her and other people people, fuck her!!

trust me, I know man, I've been in your shoes. Maybe not the exact same circumstances, but I know how it is when someone just stops tlaking without an explaination

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[Meatball]

Statistically she is most likely "fine". Outside some movie plot, you wont really know why she up and left, but the fact remains, she didnt think enough of you to fill you in. Like others have said, move on, she surely has, and find someone locally. Long distance relationships rarely work. You dont always get closure. You may have to create your own. Make up a reasonable scenario, go with it, and forget about her.

good luck.

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