Worst First Date

[mikeyboy]

FUNKMAN's post in Keithy's thread made me think of this. What is the worst first date you ever had with a guy or girl?

For me, I was 17, and I was taking this girl I really liked out for the first time. We went to a movie and then got dinner afterwards. When we got in the car so I could take her home, I realized that my battery was dead. My mom and dad had to show up to jump start the battery.

She did go out with me again, though.

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[keithy_19]

Last year. I went and hung out with this girl. She was so hot. Blonde hair, and just nice everything. I walked her home and I gave her a kiss and she pushed me away. I was so disgruntled it was horrible. I guess it was because I tried to put my tounge in her mouth. Shoot for the stars right? So I ended up walking away after saying 'your lips tasted nice/' No rational man would have said that, but I was so out of it at the time.

http://64.177.177.182/katylina/keithy.gif

[Jennitalia]

This guy asked me if I'd touch it with my mouth.

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[FUNKMAN]

my first date actually went well for me, but not for my brother. he lent me and my date his apartment and it turns out he wound up in the wet spot

looking back now and remembering him getting a little pissed and telling me about what we had left behind in his bed makes me laugh

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[stickyfingers]

I gave her a kiss and she pushed me away.


too bad she didn't grab you buy the ears and push downward.


I was in college and invited a cute girl to go to my friends party. My buddy, who lived there, asked if I wanted to play beer pong with him. I asked if she didn't mind and she said, "no, I'll watch." 20 games or so later she is bored to tears and I'm seeing triple. I was somewhat of a gentleman and managed to 'stumble her home.' We didn't hang out again for about 1 1/2 years. We have now been dating for a little over 3 years. The 2nd date went much better.

<img src=http://img18.photobucket.com/albums/v53/monster6sixty6/guests/sf2_sig.jpg>

[FUNKMAN]

at another one of the 'early' dates the girl asked me to come up to her neighborhood. so i took the bus from downtown jersey city up to the greenville section(Lembeck Ave)...

when i got there it turns out she had her old boyfriend there too. i was a freshman, she was a sophomore, and he was a senior. i knew him because he lived downtown. anyway, he's flirting with her practically the whole time i'm there but he eventually leaves. we went behind her house and made out for awhile. what i most remember is she had braces and her breath smelled like underwood deviled ham..

thanks geraldine, thanks alot

i never met her for a date afterwards

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[Uncle Smokey]

So I have a college job assisting the at a small performance space in Cambridge Mass and a girl calls, member of a little college dance company in NY that's booked to perform in a few months, and goes over some logistical stuff with me. We get along, exchange numbers and emails, talk more or less daily for a few weeks, agree to meet when I come home to NY for winter break. Keep in mind, Ive seen her picture from the biographical materials we have at the theater (lovely face, hall of fame body). She's never seen me.

I buy seats for a Broadway show (fosse, starring ben vereen, bitches) make dinner reservations, all in all put on the dog. I decide the morning of the big reveal I could use a lil trim (both literally and figuratively) so I head to the beauty parlor. Mid-haircut, the scissors slip and nick my ear. Barber freaks, I say no big deal, lil dab with a handkerchief, no apology necessary, could happen to anyone. Only the fucking cut NEVER STOPS BLEEDING. He caught me right on that shell of cartiledge toward the inside of the ear and apparently snipped off just enough that the cut refused to close. So now, Im spending the next hour pressing tissues into my ear, praying for the fucking thing to crust over. No dice. On the way to pick her up, I stop in a CVS and get a styptic pencil, rub that fucker on there, things slow down for a few seconds, I get back in the car and peer in my rear view just in time to see more blood dripping on the shoulder of my coat. A small shift of eye tells me that that the white collar of my shirt is mottled with red spots. Total unabated mess. At this point Im commited to the date, but I really cant bring myself to show up bleeding from the head without saying anything beforehand, so I call her and splain the situation. She's understandably nonplussed, but INCREDIBLY cool about it, even as I carefully maneuver a hello kiss presenting the uninjured left side of my face to her. I can only imagine the carnage she witnessed sitting in the passenger seat as we were driving to the theater, but somehow, the musical ministrations of Mister Ben Vereen healed me, and I was no longer dripping by dinner. Four years later, I havent lived it all the way down, but the sex is more than making up for it.

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[Bulldogcakes]

When we got in the car so I could take her home, I realized that my battery was dead. My mom and dad had to show up to jump start the battery.



[center]

Oh the old "my car battery died" routine. That one never works.

Ow! Hey! Get that net offa me! Ouch! Help!! Somebody HELP!!!!

[whiteboy1457]

i used to know this girl that was a good friend of mine, really hot big tits nice figure, but anyway she moves to MD and we kept talkin and decided to go out. I head up there to meet her at the movies and im standing outside the theater waiting for a hot chick to come up to me. But it doesnt happen, instead this chick that out weighs me by like 100 lbs (im like 160 at the time) comes up and says my name. I was fuckin horrifed (mainly b/c im extremely shallow) so we sit down and the preview start to come up. i tell her i gotta go to the bathroom and i dip. it probally wasnt as bad of a date for me as it was for her.

http://siebert.home.att.net/whiteboy.gif

MASTA MEAT

[Recyclerz]

This doesn't qualify as a worst 1st date but may be in the running for most embarrassing start of a first date.

Prologue: One summer, a long time ago, I'm in a supermarket picking up beer & snacks for a softball game or something and I look down and see my sneaker is untied. The store is crowded so I shift over to the side of the aisle so as not to impede traffic, drop to one knee and set about tieing my shoe. As it turns out, on this day I had committed the fashion faux pas of wearing boxers and shorts so that, after feeling a little breeze, I look down and see my entire package hanging out. (Fortunately, I wasn't in the frozen foods aisle so everything was showing about as well as I could hope for. ;p ) Now as I start to look up, in what seemed like slow motion, I see a middle-aged lady standing in the aisle staring right at my junk with a look on her face of some combination of shock, horror and fascination. As our eyes ultimately meet, I give her an embarrassed little "heh", grab my beer & pretzels as I'm standing up and rush to the checkout but not before giving her a li'l wink as I pass by.

Two weeks later, I'm at a girl's house to pick her up for our first date and to do the old school "meet the parents" thing and, wouldn't you know it, her mom is the supermarket lady. We get that moment of instant recognition/chagrin; I'm prepared to go with it and say "Haven't we met before" with a little smile, she freaks out and almost yells "No! Where would we have met?!? I never met you before!" The dad and the daughter look at each other like WTF? and I just make some small talk until we leave.

The sad part of the story is that I didn't get to tap either of them. :(



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[whiteboy1457]

grab my beer & pretzels as I'm standing up

is that what u call it

MASTA MEAT

[IamFogHat]

My first date ever, back when I was like 14 was horrible. I had to go to see Stepmom with this chick, and I did the really awkward arm around her move where you lift your arm up trying to be inconspicuous but you're totally not. We also ran into this girl from school we couldn't stand and her friends, and the girl shot mustard all over me and my chick during the movie. When the movie was over she was crying cause she thought it was sad and I laughed thinking she wasn't serious and she got really upset with me. I don't think I got a good night kiss after that disaster.

The Dude abides

[Iamnotatool]

he's flirting with her practically the whole time i'm there but he eventually leaves. we went behind her house and made out for awhile. what i most remember is she had braces and her breath smelled like underwood deviled ham..



Funk, how's that guys dick taste?

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif>
Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

[FUNKMAN]

Funk, how's that guys dick taste?


The same as mine, you know the flavor

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[Bulldogcakes]

Funk, how's that guys dick taste?


The same as mine, you know the flavor


DO YOU FUCKHOLES MIND? IT'S 6:30 AND I'M TRYING TO EAT MY FUCKIN DINNER!

Ow! Hey! Get that net offa me! Ouch! Help!! Somebody HELP!!!!

[Iamnotatool]

The same as mine, you know the flavor


His dick tasted like my ass too? I didn't even know the guy...how'd he get back there?

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Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits