The frustrations of trying to put a band together

[FUNKMAN]

I have been trying to be part of a band or form a band for several years now and at times it has been some of the most frustrating experiences of my life.

We recently had to vote out our lead singer who happened to be a close friend of my family. As it turns out she sent us an "ultimatum' e-mail that she had to be Owner and it was either 'her way or no way'. The rest of us agreed to keep it a Democracy.

After she saw that we all disagreed with her then she began to lighten up and tried to get back in. But for us it was too late. It was such an 'irrational' decision that we could never trust her in the future when much more was at stake. What if she gave an ultimatum before a gig and threatened not to sing?

She got really upset with me, probably because she felt i would have stood by her or at least voted to let her back in. I returned her equip that week and we talked a bit and she began crying when i walked to my car. I can't honestly say whether they were true tears or not!

Here is the e-mail she wrote us and I was wondering how you would take the things she wrote.

And on a sidenote: Anyone else have any frustrating band stories?



HI ALL THE TIME HAS COME FOR THE GIRL IN THE BAND TO SPEAK UP. I AM NOT A HAPPY CAMPER RIGHT NOW------ WHEN RON ASKED ME YO RETURN TO THE BAND WHEN HE FOUND ROY & MICHAEL I WAS IN THE PROCESS OF AUDITIONING PLAYERS FOR MY BAND--------A BAND I WANTED TO OWN AND FRONT AND RUN WITHIN CERTAIN GUIDELINES---I AGREED W /RON AT THE TIME TO GIVE IT AN EQUAL MEMBER STATUS BUT I NOW KNOW HOW WRONG I WAS TO DO THAT-----THERE ARE ISSUES IN THE BAND WHICH DEFINETLY NEED TO BE ADDRESSED FOR US TO BE SUCCESSFUL AND FOR THE FUTURE TO RUN SMOOTHLY AND THEY ARE NOT BEING ADDRESSED OR DEALT WITH THESE THINGS AFFECT ME GREATLY-----RON IS A GREAT GUY BUT EASY GOING AND I KNOW WILL NEVER BRING UP CERTAIN THINGS TO YOU GUYS---WELL I AM USE TO A PROFESSIONAL ATMOSPHERE TO DO MY CRAFT AND IT ISN"T HAPPENING. I AM NOT ALAN SO DO NOT MISINTERPERT WHAT I AM SAYING---I AM NOT BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE---WE JUST NEED TO BRING THINGS UP A NOTCH. AS ANAL AS MIKE IS ABOUT HIS COMPUTER ORGANIZATION I AM ABOUT A PROFESSIONAL SITUATION IN REHEARSAL! SO THIS IS IT---FOR THE BETTER OF THIS BAND I NEED TO RUN THINGS TO A DEGREE AND FRONT AND OWN THE BAND----THE ONLY ONE THAT WOULD HAVE CO-OWNERSHIP IF HE CHOOSES WOULD BE RON SINCE HIM AND I STARTED THE BAND ABOUT A YEAR AGO. THAT WOULD BE HIS DECISION----GUYS PLEASE KNOW YOUR DECISION IS CRUCIAL-----FOR ME IT HAS TO BE THIS WAY OR NO WAY----I REALIZE THAT NOW!! SO TALK IT OVER AND DECIDE WHAT YOU ALL WANT TO DO----YOU CAN TELL ME FRIDAY WHEN I COME ( BEFORE )REHEARSAL----I KNOW I HAVE THE VOICE AND I THINK I HAVE THE CONNECTIONS TO MAKE US SUCCESSFUL-----SO TAKE THAT INTO CONSIDERATION WHEN YOU DECIDE THIS-OK IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO---I WILL TRY TO TAKE ANDY WITH ME SINCE I RECRUITED HIM ORIGINALLY---I WOULD HAVE TO SPEAK TO HIM---SO THERE IT IS SAID-------BALL RESTS IN YOUR FOUR HANDS----SEE YOU FRIDAY GUYS! ALWAYS IN SONG JANIS


<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[mdr55]

Was she Hot???

[FUNKMAN]

Was she Hot???


She's a pretty lady at age 52 with a nice shape and a good voice.

and WATCH IT! perv

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[mdr55]

But isn't the music industry now all about LOOKS???

[Snoogans]

A BAND I WANTED TO OWN AND FRONT AND RUN WITHIN CERTAIN GUIDELINES


the reason most bands dont work.

ive been in a couple, we had a guitarist with that mind set. too bad the other guitarist was better, so he would ego trip when we would use a song by the other guitarist, as if every song had to be written by him.

its better to just wait, then try to deal with an ego maniac, especially one whose band isnt even famous

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[FUNKMAN]

the reason most bands dont work.


not that i can speak from much if any experience but it seems that's right on...

we have a great group of players, no egos and everyone was working hard and after 2 months together of weekly rehearsals we were making great progress. which leads me to wonder what her true motives were.

the problems she felt were happening were 'unfounded'. she thought two members were high at rehearsal and it was not true. she had a problem with the bass players wife being around during a meeting.

she also wanted assurances from the bassist and lead guitarist who are Uncle and Nephew that if one should leave that it would not mean that both of them would leave. And yet she threatens to take the drummer if we vote against her.

she could be the sweetest person but just had too many drastic emotional swings...

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[Bulldogcakes]

Good move funky. Chemistry's real important. Plus, "AS THE GIRL IN THE BAND" she obviously had problems talking about these things. She kept it all pent up till she felt the need to write an entire e-mail IN CAPS. The more fun you have, the more infectious it is, and the more people will want to go see your shows. Not possible with someone that anal.

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Ow! Hey! Get that net offa me! Ouch! Help!! Somebody HELP!!!!

[Zipgun]

1. All caps, BAD.

2. Ultimatum, worse.

3. Tyrannical "My way or the highway" ego, worst of all.


That's 3 strikes in my opinion.

If you're doing this for fun and making a little cash on the side, there's no need to get involved in "owning" a band. That's crazy talk. It also would mean she could fire anyone, at any time, for any reason. If you want to copywrite original material, I could understand the "ownership" of the actual song for any future royalties, but not if you're doing standards and covers.

If you want an example of how she's acting and what she's looking to accomplish, take a good look at Axl Rose. He "owns" Guns-n-Roses, and look how well that turned out.

<img src=http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/skidsgblurrysig.jpg>

[color=White]

[FUNKMAN]

The more fun you have, the more infectious it is, and the more people will want to go see your shows.


know any singers?
:)

we had all agreed that the singer is 'if not' the most important member and that she deserved a sensible higher % of the take. we've been looking now for about 3 weeks and I've been communicating with a couple i've located on TheMode but nothing promising at this point.

hey, it may turn out we never find one but we all still feel keeping it a Democracy was the right decision and there would never be any trust with Janis...

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[mdr55]

So it's like when Belinda Carlise left the Go-Go's or Gwen Stefani left No Doubt, to go out on their own.

This message was edited by mdr55 on 1-4-05 @ 8:51 PM

[Bulldogcakes]

http://www.snakepit.org/waste.jpg

Axl "You want this clown to own the band??! He doesn't even own a clean fuckin T-shirt!!!"

http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL77/857148/1548180/76422236.jpg


Ow! Hey! Get that net offa me! Ouch! Help!! Somebody HELP!!!!

[Bulldogcakes]

So it's like when Belinda Carlise left the Go-Go's or Gwen Stafani left No Doubt, to go out on their own.


Women.

http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL77/857148/1548180/76422236.jpg


Ow! Hey! Get that net offa me! Ouch! Help!! Somebody HELP!!!!

[mdr55]

Like when Michael Jackson left the Jackson 5 or Marky Mark left the funky bunch.

[FUNKMAN]

Like when Michael Jackson left the Jackson 5 or Marky Mark left the funky bunch.


all i got to say is JAN 22nd... MY WAY OR NO WAY!
:)

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[Bulldogcakes]

know any singers? :)

I'm Loooong retired. But I know how hard it is to find one. Can any current members carry a tune? Keep an open mind, some odd voices can be very distictive, sort of a signature sound (Dylan, Joe Cocker etc)

we had all agreed that the singer is 'if not' the most important member and that she deserved a sensible higher % of the take. we've been looking now for about 3 weeks and I've been communicating with a couple i've located on TheMode but nothing promising at this point.

I think by offering more you're INVITING an ego maniac to step in. All parts of the band are important, except, of course, for Bass players. Just kidding. Split it up even. No one gets to be more equal than the rest. A singer is the face of the band, writes the lyrics, so the other guys can do more of the business part. But split the money even.



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Ow! Hey! Get that net offa me! Ouch! Help!! Somebody HELP!!!!

[JohnnyCash]

Ive been in this situation once or twice with past bands. Not only did their ego split up the band but it also cost us our friendships.

You guys were right to vote her out.

<img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/cash_monster.jpg>
Thank you Freakshow.

[Bulldogcakes]

Like when Michael Jackson left the Jackson 5 or Marky Mark left the funky bunch.

Michael Jackson? Marky Mark??
These are what, Men?
Baaaa-hahahahhahahahahaha!!! Hoooo Hahahahaha!!
Hoo ho I cant breathe hee hoo. whew.

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Ow! Hey! Get that net offa me! Ouch! Help!! Somebody HELP!!!!

This message was edited by Bulldogcakes on 1-4-05 @ 9:07 PM

[Snoogans]

i can sing, but i live too far away

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[FUNKMAN]

If you're doing this for fun and making a little cash on the side, there's no need to get involved in "owning" a band

if you're doing standards and covers.


which is what we are doing. prior to this project Janis and i had tried putting together a band for 6 months. She wanted us to be owners which was something i was never comfortable with but decided to try it. After 6 months we went through 4 bass players, 3 lead guitarist and a drummer and it was just us two and I got burnt out.

I was doing pretty much everything from downloading the songs, burning the cd's, contacting prospective players, learning the songs, holding all rehearsals. She just had to show up and sing. Then after six months i asked her to field an e-mail from a prospective drummer and she refused 'for certain reasons that only she could justify". So I was done, burnt out and told her i needed a break.

It wasn't until 3 months later where a few things came together and it looked like a full band dropped in my lap and we needed a singer. Being she was a friend and a good singer I asked her if she wanted to join on the condition of it being a 'democracy' and she had agreed...

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[Snoogans]

when do you guys reherse?

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[FUNKMAN]

when do you guys reherse?


Friday evenings, Saturday or Sunday mostly 11am to 3pm. At my home or the bass players home in Jackson.

We haven't ruled out a male singer but we've been covering a bunch of female tunes and it seems a female could cover more songs sung by guys than a guy can sing songs sung by females...

that's a little tongue twister

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[Snoogans]

ill sing stay by lisa loeb

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GO SAWX!!!!!
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[FUNKMAN]

ill sing stay by lisa loeb


how about any Grand Funk?

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[Snoogans]

didnt they do locomotion first?

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[FUNKMAN]

I think by offering more you're INVITING an ego maniac to step in. All parts of the band are important, except, of course, for Bass players. Just kidding. Split it up even. No one gets to be more equal than the rest. A singer is the face of the band, writes the lyrics, so the other guys can do more of the business part. But split the money even.


good points! especially when you have players coming in that can provide their instrument, plus vocals or possibly other instuments...

they have a right to expect things to 'at the least' be equal all around...

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[Death Metal Moe]

That was the right move Funkman. When people start demanding things and getting weird, it's time for them to get their shit and get the fuck out.

I've been REALLY lucky to have started playing drums in my 1st band with my fellow Unhallowed members Bob and Jenn, and we've been the core members of Unhallowed for about 9 years now. There have been some arguments, almost break ups, but we've come through it and we work well together. We know we can depend on each other.

Quick horror story about our ex-guitarist. We'll call him Jay because that was his actual name. Jay left the band one day after about a year or two in the band because of his work situation, getting serious with his girl and the distance he had to drive to practice. Then suddenly one day, he started to hint he wanted back in, and we agreed because we were still friends with him. Then, the VERY 1ST TIME my bandmates were to meet him to go over riffs for songs he'd missed while being out, he didn't show. So they called his work. No answer. So they called his girlfriend, and got a REAL attitude from her.

Now they were fucking pissed, so they drove to the mall she worked at and confronted her. She called Jay, and he was there in a few minutes. WOW! I thought he was at work and was so busy he couldn't even take calls?! So Bob took him in his truck, gave him a STERN talking to, and got our CD's back from him. I hear Bob's claw hammer and some tears came into play for some reason, but I can't confirm any of that because I wasn't there. And that was the last time we ever saw him, or cared to.

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98% of peope think Steels was right
2% of people here still like me

[FUNKMAN]

didnt they do locomotion first?


2nd - Little Eva did it first. I think she was Carole King's maid or babysitter. Carole wrote it.

You just gave me an idea.

I have written this guido/rock/rap tune called "Eat Da Brassiole". About 4 years back we had recorded it onto cassette. It's got a nice slow groove that is being done by a distorted rock guitar sound and the song is a comical story. I have since lost the recording. This other bass players nephew who was singing rap at the time had provided the vocals.

Of the 20 or 30 people who ever got to hear it liked it and got a good laugh while enjoying the music.

Maybe you can come down and sing it?

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[FUNKMAN]

That was the right move Funkman. When people start demanding things and getting weird, it's time for them to get their shit and get the fuck out.

I've been REALLY lucky to have started playing drums in my 1st band with my fellow Unhallowed members Bob and Jenn, and we've been the core members of Unhallowed for about 9 years now


Thanks Moe! As it's turning out the members of our band Mike-bass, Roy-lead guitar, Andy-drummer, are all good people. We're respectful to each other, open minded, working hard, and enjoy each others company. At times when 'things are on' it seems there is nothing better than a group of people making some good music...

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[Death Metal Moe]

Glad to hear it Funkman.

I just wanted to add that the part of that mail that made me kinda laugh the most was that whole:

"THE TIME HAS COME FOR THE GIRL IN THE BAND TO SPEAK UP."

Being a girl has something to do with suddenly having the right to say all that, own the band or know what's going on better than anyone? I don't understand why she said that. We have a girl in our band and her gender has never been an issue. As I said before, we've all had some disagreements, but her being a girl was never at the center of any of them, and she's never made it an issue for as far back as I an remember. There's no reason to. She's a musician who plays well and that we work well with, period.

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98% of peope think Steels was right
2% of people here still like me

[Snoogans]

i work friday sat and sunday at 4:30, so i could only stay till about 2-2:30, but id come down, even just to have fun and sing a couple tunes, assuming you were talking to me


<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=Snoogans194">
GO SAWX!!!!!
The worst choke job in the history of sports Snoogans 1, Monitor 0

[Death Metal Moe]

I hope he's talking to you Snoogans. My singing makes you question God's plan of the Universe.

<IMG SRC="http://unhallowed.com/sigs/D.M.Moon.jpg">
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>

98% of peope think Steels was right
2% of people here still like me

[FUNKMAN]

i work friday sat and sunday at 4:30, so i could only stay till about 2-2:30, but id come down, even just to have fun and sing a couple tunes, assuming you were talking to me


we're scheduled for this Friday evening which i know doesn't work for you. would love to have you down, i'm sure it would be a good time and a singer makes rehearsals much easier and better. i do realize how far away you live and that usually means it won't work on a permanent basis.

it would be great just to get-together as well...


<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

This message was edited by FUNKMAN on 1-4-05 @ 10:08 PM

[bigbaldirish]

good move lettin her walk, but sorry to hear it was a friend as well. and everybody gets an equal cut of dough. think of it like this, the singer wouldn't be there, if there was no guitarist give melody, no bassist laying groove, and no drummer giving a beat to sing to.

we had an R&B singer on a few cuts on our CD, she decided that she was part of the band, but didn't pay rent on the studio, barely chipped in on recording, and didn't contribute in any way, writing, promotion, not showing for some shows, and not telling us until a day of a show that she wasn't coming. then wondered why she wasn't allowed at practices to have a voice anymore.

that and she screwed half the band, so she kinda added fuel to the fire.

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[mdr55]

that and she screwed half the band, so she kinda added fuel to the fire.


Was she Hot???

[FUNKMAN]

and everybody gets an equal cut of dough. think of it like this, the singer wouldn't be there, if there was no guitarist give melody, no bassist laying groove, and no drummer giving a beat to sing to.


it's tough to provide all the detail at once. there was another factor in that she may have provided opportunities for getting good gigs. i say 'may' and 'possibly' but nothing was assured. here is a list of 'music business' related items about her

> good friends with Smokey Robinson
> good friends with the remaining Righteous Brother. He contacted her and her husband recently and gave them tickets to his show in AC
> friends with Jay Leno. her cousin roomed with Leno for four years at Boston College(?)
> first cousin is Eddie Bergotti(sp?) of the former group Rascals
> friends with the bass player on the Conan show
> as a young girl she sang solo for Walt Disney

She has photo albums full of pictures with these people which seems to back up most of what she says.

There are also a few other things HOWEVER! she is 52 and up to this point in her life none of these things have done anything for her career.

She said she spent approx 40grand in '92 to create her CD which included 4 songs. She had the lead female singer from Chic backing her up and excellent musicians and they created the CD at some studio in NYC. The songs are excellent but you have to question why she hasn't been in a band since the late 80's or done anything beyond the CD. Especially with some connections...

i had still held out hope she could make a phonecall or two, she seems to network well but she couldn't seem to keep it together

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[bigbaldirish]

that and she screwed half the band, so she kinda added fuel to the fire.


Was she Hot???


Kickass body pretty face. multi personality......

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[bigbaldirish]

and everybody gets an equal cut of dough. think of it like this, the singer wouldn't be there, if there was no guitarist give melody, no bassist laying groove, and no drummer giving a beat to sing to.


it's tough to provide all the detail at once. there was another factor in that she may have provided opportunities for getting good gigs. i say 'may' and 'possibly' but nothing was assured. here is a list of 'music business' related items about her

> good friends with Smokey Robinson
> good friends with the remaining Righteous Brother. He contacted her and her husband recently and gave them tickets to his show in AC
> friends with Jay Leno. her cousin roomed with Leno for four years at Boston College(?)
> first cousin is Eddie Bergotti(sp?) of the former group Rascals
> friends with the bass player on the Conan show
> as a young girl she sang solo for Walt Disney


She has photo albums full of pictures with these people which seems to back up most of what she says.

There are also a few other things HOWEVER! she is 52 and up to this point in her life none of these things have done anything for her career.

She said she spent approx 40grand in '92 to create her CD which included 4 songs. She had the lead female singer from Chic backing her up and excellent musicians and they created the CD at some studio in NYC. The songs are excellent but you have to question why she hasn't been in a band since the late 80's or done anything beyond the CD. Especially with some connections...


either way, these contacts that she had
a) did nothing for her in '92
b) if you all succeed she still succeeds. if you all just go about and do your thing, well at least you made some money doing something you love.
c) why does she have to control your band that everybody decided was a democracy, why not do 2 bands, one in the democracy, and the "52 year old singer with connections" band?

lead singers get the good deal anyway, if the band gets famous, they make the solo albums, they go on the tv interviews, they get the movie roles... they make there extra money anyway.

Edit: and 10,000 bucks a song, that better be one HELL of a demo. bet ya i could get Eminem to sing on one of our songs for 8,000 bucks to do back up vocals.

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This message was edited by bigbaldirish on 1-4-05 @ 11:40 PM

[FUNKMAN]

maybe that included promotional fees? i remember she had a recording of her at a radio station on one of the carribean islands and they were promoting and playing her songs

by the way i visited your bands website... not my kind of music but it sounded good. Best Of Success to you and the band!

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

[bigbaldirish]

maybe that included promotional fees? i remember she had a recording of her at a radio station on one of the carribean islands and they were promoting and playing her songs

by the way i visited your bands website... not my kind of music but it sounded good. Best Of Success to you and the band!

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg ">

hey man thanks, i appreciate it. tell your friends :p

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