LordJezo
01-23-2005, 06:24 AM
As you all know I burnt my mouth quite bad at Uno's last weekend. It's over a week later now and I am still in pain. Friday I sent out the following letter to Uno's headquaters. Hopefully I will get some free food from them, much like I have from Burger King and Good Humor ice cream people. So here is my latest complaint letter.
"I have always wanted to try this crab cheese dip! It looks so good!" Said the attractive Jewish male.
"Good choice, I'll bring that right out to you." Said the friendly African-American waiter.
And thus did the food come, and it was good.
The villagers rejoiced for there was much fun to be had.
To Whom It May Concern:
If only my night at Pizzeria Uno's was that enjoyable. Now while the first few lines of my tale are true the final line is not. There was no rejoicing and the food brought the mood to a screeching halt, one from which we did not recover from for the rest of the night. It was supposed to be an night of celebration of the great Dr. King but instead it was spent in misery and pain.
Pain, you ask? Yes, pain brought down from your 'fine' establishment, pain that still exists in me today, pain that is causing me to eat jello for breakfast and wince when I try to drink water. Pain that only an over heated crab dip with scalding hot cheese can bring.
I feel bad for writing this letter but the meal that I had that fateful night of January 15th is one that I may remember forever. That bite, that haunting bite filled with pain and cheese, is one that will be with me until the day I die. Right now I am constantly reminded of it, no matter how hard I try I cannot escape it's constant presence in my mouth. I go to sleep at night not wanting to wake up to it's sting, to it's pleasure in bringing me pain. I want to stay asleep, asleep in a dream world not filled by a pain seemingly wrought by the Gods themselves.
That night I thought I had met the love of my life. I thought "Perhaps this is my soul mate." But the pain of the cheese reared it's ugly head once again. I was unable to form words, I was unable to enjoy the beverages being served in the establishment without having a need to wince. I was ruined. The woman left and headed back to Georgia, never to be seen again.
My mouth is on fire because of your over heated lobster appetizer. I am forced to take medication to numb the pain that fills up my entire head. I can no longer eat food which I once enjoyed. Please, don't let this happen to anyone else, allow me to be the carrier of this pain for others. No one else deserves this.
Sincerely,
Me.
------------------------------------------
I KISS YOU!
<a href="http://www.78west.com">The Message Whore Today.. now featuring DJ NewStyle of O&A fame!<a>
"I have always wanted to try this crab cheese dip! It looks so good!" Said the attractive Jewish male.
"Good choice, I'll bring that right out to you." Said the friendly African-American waiter.
And thus did the food come, and it was good.
The villagers rejoiced for there was much fun to be had.
To Whom It May Concern:
If only my night at Pizzeria Uno's was that enjoyable. Now while the first few lines of my tale are true the final line is not. There was no rejoicing and the food brought the mood to a screeching halt, one from which we did not recover from for the rest of the night. It was supposed to be an night of celebration of the great Dr. King but instead it was spent in misery and pain.
Pain, you ask? Yes, pain brought down from your 'fine' establishment, pain that still exists in me today, pain that is causing me to eat jello for breakfast and wince when I try to drink water. Pain that only an over heated crab dip with scalding hot cheese can bring.
I feel bad for writing this letter but the meal that I had that fateful night of January 15th is one that I may remember forever. That bite, that haunting bite filled with pain and cheese, is one that will be with me until the day I die. Right now I am constantly reminded of it, no matter how hard I try I cannot escape it's constant presence in my mouth. I go to sleep at night not wanting to wake up to it's sting, to it's pleasure in bringing me pain. I want to stay asleep, asleep in a dream world not filled by a pain seemingly wrought by the Gods themselves.
That night I thought I had met the love of my life. I thought "Perhaps this is my soul mate." But the pain of the cheese reared it's ugly head once again. I was unable to form words, I was unable to enjoy the beverages being served in the establishment without having a need to wince. I was ruined. The woman left and headed back to Georgia, never to be seen again.
My mouth is on fire because of your over heated lobster appetizer. I am forced to take medication to numb the pain that fills up my entire head. I can no longer eat food which I once enjoyed. Please, don't let this happen to anyone else, allow me to be the carrier of this pain for others. No one else deserves this.
Sincerely,
Me.
------------------------------------------
I KISS YOU!
<a href="http://www.78west.com">The Message Whore Today.. now featuring DJ NewStyle of O&A fame!<a>