My Fucking Neighbor

[sr71blackbird]

<p>&nbsp;&nbsp; I live 2 doors down from this Spanich chick whos is kinda hot, but she is annoying as hell and always wants my help.&nbsp; I was eager to help her when I first met her because of her hotness, but now see her as a leech that annoys the fuck out of me.&nbsp; It started when she found out I have some computer ability and she doesnt have access to the web (because shes cheap and not technical in the least).&nbsp; She wanted my help making invoices for her, because she cleans homes and offices and shit and she wanted to have invoices made to give to her customers and make herself look more professional.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; She would come over with ideas she wanted for it and shed be sitting next to me for a few hours and shed flirt with me as I joked with her and stuff, but it never went anywhere because Im married and I didnt want to cheat, but I did often get aroused by her and she knew it.&nbsp; Anyway..I created a few files for her in Excel for invoices and made up a logo for her and busines cards and flyers and things.&nbsp; The thing is though, she has this old laptop with Windows 95 on it and this crazy monstrosity of a printer/fax/scanner thing that I could not for the life of me figure out how to make work. I suspect somoen gave it to her for the same reason.&nbsp; So, she needed these things printed up every month to give to her customers and she&nbsp;couldnt print them on her own and would keep bothing me to do it for her in my house.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; She would come over with a floppy to put the updated invoices on and she would save it like that.&nbsp; Then she told me she got a virus somehow and I was deathly afraid to put her floppys into my machine and she I kept trying to avoid her and finally I lied and told her that my compter died and I lost all her files and shit.&nbsp; I couldnt bring myself to say I just didnt want to help her anymore.&nbsp; She left me alone for a few months and I guess she found someone else to help her out, but I assume they finally tired of her as well and she started pestering me again about it.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; To avoid her, I try to park out of the line of sight of her house and I find I am sneaking in and out like a wuss.&nbsp; I fucking hate it!&nbsp; I want to tell her to fuck off and I dont want to help her anyomore, but I am afraid that she might attack my car or have a boyfriend start with&nbsp;me or whatever.<br />I dont mean to vent here and I know I sound like a girl for living like this and going through these hoops.<br />Short of blowing up on her, and considering what I said 2 sentences above, what would you do to advise me get her out of my hair?&nbsp; Does anyone else here have an annoying neighbor like this?</p>

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[HBox]

<font size="2"><font color="Navy"><font face="Century Gothic">This is why I never socialize with anybody ever.</font></font><br />
</font>

<br /><hr width="100%" />
People like me because I force them to,<font color="#ff0000">WITH VIOLENCE!!!!!!!!!!!</font><br />

I want to see a stewed tomato in the toilet by noon, or I'll be paying you a little visit!

<font color=black>This message was edited by HBox on 4-16-05 @ 11:19 PM</font>

[Wormwood]

<p><font size="2">the best thing to do is make fun of her heritage, you'll thank me later.</font></p>

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here I am, rock you like a hurricane

[Death Metal Moe]

<p>There is a fine line between being nice and being used.&nbsp; You my friend just found it, and discovered you were on the wrong side.</p><p>I don't have neighbors like this, but I have a friend that needs help on like EVERYTHING computer based, and to be honest, it gets annoying sometimes.&nbsp; But he's an old friend, and I know he doesn't understand how to design CD inlays in Photoshop, so who else is gonna help him?&nbsp; Nobody, that's who.</p><p>As for this chick, fuck her in the ass and wipe your dick off on an invoice.</p><p><img src="http://unhallowed.com/sigs/Death-Culture.gif" border="0" /> </p><p><a href="http://www.unhallowed.com/">www.unhallowed.com</a> <a href="http://thebigsexxxy.blogspot.com/">One Big SeXXXy Blog</a></p>

<font color=black>This message was edited by Death Metal Moe on 4-16-05 @ 11:31 PM</font>

[ChildofFez]

<p><em>As for this chick, fuck her in the ass and wipe your dick off on an invoice.</em></p><p>http://www.evote.com/evotepix/events/terroristattack091101/giuliani_in_audience_clapping_092001.jpg</p>

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[MrPink]

yer problem is that&nbsp;u let her know that u do that computer stuff. thats y u gotta try and keep stuff secret. but u can try to refer her to someone that can do that work fer her and tell her that yer simply too busy to do all this work fer her.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v507/Catholiccannon/narcavatar.jpg
Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me

[torker]

<img height="522" src="http://cine.publispain.com/PELICULAS/spanglish.jpg" width="289" border="0" />

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[center]Dad kills people and you help him!

Uh-uh. We're just fulfilling God's will. I'm telling Dad on you!
[center]

[Donnielimes]

<p>&nbsp;</p><p>I'm living with two other people and that's even worse. I'm single and They're Together.The other day I went out with the guy in my house. We went to a bar with a girl I like. She's hot and I want to drill her so even though I don't drink I went out with them anyway. This turned into an all night adventure into Ft. Lauderdale. Like the girl I live with is blowing up the phones wondering where everyone is. I never answer my phone. Besides I couldn't hear it in the club anyway. Now she's pissed at me because she can't be pissed at her boyfriend and it has nothing to do with me. I was trying to hook up with this girl in my office.&nbsp;now my roomate&nbsp;won't even look at me and I feel really uncomfortable in the house but I didn't do anything wrong I was the fucking designated driver. Do you have any Idea what it's like driving a bunch of drunks around? this is total bull shit!!</p>

"Good Times/Noodle Salad, Thats my story"

[CYYYFYYY]

This is an easy one.&nbsp;&nbsp; Just tell her that youa re attracted top her and you would like to help her but your wife is the jealous type and she yelled at you so for the good of the marriage you can;t help her.

Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY
I am just a Simple jewish Boy
from the Lower east Side
I am the CYYYFYYY

[Bulldogcakes]

Tell her you charge $50 an hour for this stuff. That should either get rid of her or get you a blowjob. <br />


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v303/Kevin2700/bulldaogcopy.jpg


Does it bug you that your local pharmacy sells cigarettes and emphysema medicine?

[WhistlePig]

[quote]<font face="Verdana" style="font-size:9px;">quote:<hr color="cococo" align="left"></font><font size="2"><font color="Navy"><font face="Century Gothic">This is why I never socialize with anybody ever.</font></font><br />
</font>

This is also my philosophy--especially with neighbors. I've lived in the same house since 1992 and only know one neighbor's first name. I'll peek out the windows and wait until the coast is clear before sprinting to my car. A smile and a nod is all I ever offer up. And I'm left alone! It's great.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y72/WhistlePig/WhistlePigSig2.jpg

[Death Metal Moe]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font>I'll peek out the windows and wait until the coast is clear before sprinting to my car <p>&nbsp;</p><p>But you see, you're allowing others to dictate when you can and can't go out of your own house.&nbsp; Just be rude.&nbsp; Don 't let some asshole you don't want to talk to make you wait to leave your place.</p><p><img src="http://unhallowed.com/sigs/Death-Culture.gif" border="0" /> </p><p><a href="http://www.unhallowed.com/">www.unhallowed.com</a> <a href="http://thebigsexxxy.blogspot.com/">One Big SeXXXy Blog</a></p>

<font color=black>This message was edited by Death Metal Moe on 4-18-05 @ 3:03 PM</font>

[silera]

<p>Move. </p>

<center>http://hometown.aol.com/bonedaddy5/images/silerass.jpg
<font size="3" color="red">AND WHAT?</font></center><font color="FBF2F7">

[Death Metal Moe]

<p>Not to dump on you man, but this is what happens when you're not honest with people.&nbsp; You should have told her when it was becoming an inconvenience on you.&nbsp; And moving is running from your problems.&nbsp; Bad life choice.</p><p>Also, I don't want to hear the sob story about old computer equipment.&nbsp; If she owns a business, she is going to HAVE to get things to run it effectivly.&nbsp; I can't tell you how many times I've seen new, decent desktops for 300 with just about everything you need to get started.&nbsp; Maybe not a printer, but shop around and get one for 50 bucks.&nbsp; </p>

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[Iamnotatool]

<p>I agree, honesty is best.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Tell the wench you can no longer see yourself helping her unless she is willing to lend an open orifice for you to despose of some man-yogurt.&nbsp; She can even pick the orifice each month, but never the same one on back to back months.&nbsp; C'mon, variety is the spice of life!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>EDIT-&nbsp; Thing is, all kidding aside, this bitch would probably HAPPILY provide a humjob to get this shit done each month.</p><img border="0" src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif" /> Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

<font color=black>This message was edited by Iamnotatool on 4-18-05 @ 6:33 PM</font>

[fohat]

<p>I would have to say going with the honesty approach is best.
Printing stuff costs you money and takes time away from your
family. Tell her to go to Kinko's or whatever printing type place
you may have in your area. They have computers and I imagine it's
not very costly to print a few things here and there. I would
also tell her that a brand new Dell is only 500$ and she should get one
if she's trying to run a business. What happens when you go on
vacation and she needs stuff printed? <br />
</p><p> </p><p>It is also quite possible that she is waiting for you to bang her while she has her next &quot;batch&quot; of print jobs-</p><p> </p><p>er but I am digressing...</p><p>Edit:cant freekinspell&nbsp;</p><p>

You cannot petition the Lord
with prayer!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

<font color=black>This message was edited by fohat on 4-18-05 @ 8:26 PM</font>

[FUNKMAN]

<p>eat the biggest can of Kelly Black beans you can find and a couple of heaping tablespoons of metamucil. throw in a&nbsp;nacho belle grande and a large coffee. then as she sits by you let er rip</p><p>then again she may like it</p>

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

[Death Metal Moe]

<p>I would also tell her that a brand new Dell is only 500$ and she should get one if she's trying to run a business.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>For REAL!&nbsp; If she goes with a name brand like that, she'll probably get 24 hour customer service for nothing, maybe a printer, and possibly even classes of books on how to use the goddamn thing.&nbsp; And I KNOW that every month I get a catalog from TigerDirect.com, and they have a basic computer package with a decently stocked tower, speakers, a monitor, keyboard and mouse for 300.&nbsp; You can't beat that.</p><p>It just baffles me that she starts a business with NOTHING.&nbsp; She can write shit like that off too.&nbsp; I mean that doesn't help you at 1st when you have no money, but after awhile, she has to get an office.&nbsp; Come on bitch!</p>

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[mdr55]

<img border="0" src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/surrender.gif" />&rarr;20:50:13<p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>

<font color=black>This message was edited by mdr55 on 4-18-05 @ 8:50 PM</font>

[sr71blackbird]

<p>I should make a new one now called &quot;My Fucking Niece&quot;, because I started helping her with her homework in the 4th grade and helped all all through grade and middle and high school and now into college.&nbsp; She will ask me to help her with summarizing articles and writing about them. This girl tries to cover up her lack of effort with volume, thinking that if the teacher sees a bunch of stuff on a paper that they will give her high marks.&nbsp; She often gets the papers of kids who took the class last year or in years past and&nbsp;she will rewrite them (often with my help), changing words around and stuff.&nbsp; I know it plagorism (sp?) and I have helped her do it, but I do not want to keep doing it.&nbsp; Some of the stuff is interesting and I kind of like learning stuff, but she is annoying about it and I dont think she sees the wrongness in it. At first I thought it would give me high marks in her family and so I did it.&nbsp; When she was young and the stuff was easy, it was almost a pleasure, but now shes studying to be an audiologist and this stuff is getting beyond me and I really dont care about it.</p><p>I dont know how I got in the habit of helping others, its probably my nature to want to be the &quot;go-to&quot; guy and it also strokes my ego.&nbsp; But I want to break away from this aspect of myself.&nbsp; I think I need a lesson on how to be a douche bag!&nbsp; Or, I got to fuck up so bad that she gets in trouble, but that will just get me in trouble at home.&nbsp; I keep putting her off, but I have to do something.</p><p>I have to learn to say &quot;NO!&quot;</p>

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[Iamnotatool]

<p>Blackbird, lemme borrow $3000 bucks.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Thanks.</p>

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif>
Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

[Iamnotatool]

Most importantly, is your niece hot?

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif>
Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

[JPMNICK]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font>Most importantly, is your niece hot?&nbsp; <br />Exactly, because me and tool with both be willing to tutor her, just at different times.

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Thanks to Reef for my sig. You rock

[Reephdweller]

She's okay. I'd shoot a tray up in there. She's not my niece so I can say that.

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[mikeyboy]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font>She's okay. I'd shoot a tray up in there. She's not my niece so I can say that. <font color="#ff0000" size="1" /><br />She's your daughter?&nbsp; Gross.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=mikeyboy"><br>Ron & Fez Show Log (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm); Daily News Scratch N' Match is the Devil<br>The Music Mikey Likes Show on RadioBBQ, weekdays 11:00 am - 1:00 pm (http://www.radiobbq.net)<br>Now with new theme song (http://www.ronfez.net/mediastorage/mikey/mikeyshowtheme.mp3) by BoBoGolem

[Hottub]

<p><font size="1">She's okay. I'd shoot a tray up in there. She's not my niece so I can say that</font></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Unless you live in WV, she is family Bro.</p>

<img src=" http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v381/artemisentreri/hottub.gif"border=0 align=right>
so does that mean that it was
"THE ORANGE BOWL OF FAILURE?"
Staples
See The Cruising Vessel (http://www.silentpix.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Myalbums&file=thumbnails&album=41)
Check out silentpix.com

[Death Metal Moe]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font><p>&nbsp;</p><font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font><font size="1">She's okay. I'd shoot a tray up in there. She's not my niece so I can say that</font> <p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Unless you live in WV, she is family Bro.</p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v381/artemisentreri/hottub.gif" align="right" border="0" /> so does that mean that it was &quot;THE ORANGE BOWL OF FAILURE?&quot; Staples <a href="http://www.silentpix.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Myalbums&file=thumbnails&album=41" target="blank">See The Cruising Vessel</a> Check out silentpix.com <p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>But not very close family.</p><p>RAVAGE that hole, baby!<br /></p>

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[sr71blackbird]

<p>Shes kind of ok, her friends though....woof!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>See its kind of a precarious position, because if I do the rude thing, Im the bastard.&nbsp; I would be happy to help, if it was just looking it over and saying &quot;take this out, you reapeated this, this needs to be broken up&quot;, or whatever.&nbsp; Shes looking to have me DO it and on the occasions that I have been sitting there, her friends keep calling her and she talks on the phone or the fucking usless AOfuckingL messenger keeps popping over the screen with her stupid friends.&nbsp; I tell her the reason she stresses out from this work is because of all these distractions and it pisses me off that shes socializing while Im stuck doing her work instead of what I want to do.&nbsp; </p>

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[Death Metal Moe]

<p>it pisses me off that shes socializing while Im stuck doing her work instead of what I want to do.&nbsp; </p><p>And what you WANT to do is HER ASS for HOURS ON END!!!!&nbsp; DESTROY IT!!</p>

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[old-fan]

<p>i gotta agree with some of the others on here, your biggest problem is you werent honest and stood up for yourself.</p><p> the first chick may
have been waitin for you to make a move or offer her some hot soup
there.</p><p> just tell her next time its cash or ass thats it no
other choice, and if you dont want to cheat have her blow some of your
friends so you can trade them other services like free beer or sports
tickets.</p><p>she still gets her work done and you get happy friends and nice gifts.</p><p>besides eatin isnt cheatin, offer her some throay yogurt or das doompier action or tell her hit the bricks chica.</p><p> </p><p>as
far as the niece, turn off the damn internet and phone when showing her
how to do the reports, only tell her once to her face if she fucks
around you wont help her and when her friends call say you warned her
give her the option of hanging up like an adult or give her the work
back and say go contact your neighbor down the hall hes a chump flirt
with him and he will do all your work for free.</p><p>im not even commenting on what the other freaks said about the neice thats just wrong heh. </p><p> </p>

<br /> <br /> big ass card #1588

<font color=black>This message was edited by old-fan on 4-21-05 @ 10:06 PM</font>

[Death Metal Moe]

<p>offer her some throay yogurt or das doompier action or tell her hit the bricks chica.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>HAHAHAHAHA!!!! NICE!</p><p>But yea, the underlying theme to this thread has been: ASSERT YOURSELF.&nbsp; You're going to HAVE to be a certian degree of a dick to her in order to make her understand that she can't expect you to do all this work for nothing.&nbsp; </p><p>We all joked about you fucking her, but I respect the fact that you said you didn't want to cheat on your wife in the 1st post you left, so don't trade work for sex.&nbsp; That's sleazy anyway.&nbsp; If you want the extra work, you're gonna HAVE to tell her you want money for all your work.&nbsp; Or if it's just the fact that you don't want to have this invoice deal at all, just tell her to get someone else.</p>

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[high fly]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>See its kind of a precarious position, because if I do the rude thing, Im the bastard.&nbsp; </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Not precarious at all.</p><p>Nothing at all wrong with standing up for yourself the way men do, politely, of course.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Either that or get the word, &quot;WELCOME&quot; tattooed on your forehead to look more like the other doormats.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><br />

" and they ask me why I drink"
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Big ups to sex bomb baby Katylina (LHOOQ) for the sig!