Fatherhood

[whiteboy1457]

After thinking about it for a while i decided to post this to get some input.  A little more than a month ago i was have sex with a girl i have been seeing for a while (ironically it was the same girl as the one that i posted about when i first started posting).  Anyway, about two weeks ago she tells me that she is pregnant and im most definatley the father.  She wants to keep it while at the same time get an abortion.  i feel that she should keep it or at least put it up for adoption.  Keeping in mind im 17 and graduating from high school this june and shes 17 and is only a junior, what would be the best course of action?   

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[GwEnYpOo]

<p>no one can really tell you what the right thing to do is, that's up to you guys . i just advise you to do what you believe is the right thing to do and not the easy way out. im not saying that abortion is definitly wrong , but just carefully consider whether or not you think it's right . </p><p>i also advise you to get some type of paternity test , it doesn't matter how trustworthy you think she is , it's in your best interest to get one .</p>

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[FUNKMAN]

<p>if you feel the two of you can provide adequate love, support and can be counted on to be responsible for raising the child then have the baby. even if it means you have 'some' dependancy on support from your own families</p><p>otherwise have the abortion or put he or she up for adoption</p>

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[Death Metal Moe]

Adoption.

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[furie]

&quot;Babies don't cost money, they make money. especially the little blue eyed ones!&quot; Jeri Blank<br />



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[Death Metal Moe]

Come on Furie.&nbsp; I was gonna post a picture of a vaccum cleaner, but let's try to stay serious for a second here.&nbsp; Kid's in high school.&nbsp; Don't want to see him mess up his future.

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[Jennitalia]

<p>It's really up to your girl. If it were me at 17, I'd have an abortion, as hard and painful as I'm sure it would be. You're both way too young. Hopefully you guys will be more careful in the future, although I understand mistakes can happen. </p>

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[booster11373]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font>&quot;Babies don't cost money, they make money. especially the little blue eyed ones!&quot; Jeri Blank<br />Isnt the little white ones that make the money?<br />

When i first arrived you were all such jerks

But now i've come to love your quirks

[walking joint]

<p><font size="1">&nbsp;i feel that she should keep it </font></p><p>you say that like you would have nothing to do with the&nbsp;baby if she does.&nbsp; great start for the kid.</p>

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[LongIslandRob]

<p>Adoption is your best bet.&nbsp; Give the kid a chance.&nbsp; Don't become disillusioned that you can take care of it.&nbsp; Some people after they see a sonogram of feel kicking get sentimental and think they can do it.&nbsp; I am 32 and have a 10 month old daughter.&nbsp; Although she is the<u> best</u> thing that ever happened to me, she is exhausting.&nbsp; Your life will change completely and you'll never get it back.&nbsp; Not to mention it costs $$$</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>As hard as it would be to give the baby up, it would be the best thing you could ever do for him/her.</p>

Trust me, it won't hurt.

[TheMojoPin]

<p>While I'm sure everyone posting here has the best intentions, I also hope it's obvious that the advice here shouldn't be what you base this decision on.</p><p>This is a huge, life-changing event, and you and your girlfriend should really discuss your options and feelings over all this with doctors, counselors and aid workers.&nbsp; They're out there to people like you guys through situations like this.</p><p>Good luck.</p>

[Kevin]

<font style="font-size: 9px" face="Verdana">quote: </font><p>While I'm sure everyone posting here has the best intentions, I also hope it's obvious that the advice here shouldn't be what you base this decision on.</p><p>This is a huge, life-changing event, and you and your girlfriend should really discuss your options and feelings over all this with doctors, counselors and aid workers.&nbsp; They're out there to people like you guys through situations like this.</p><p>Good luck.</p><br />Agreed totaly.

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[Death Metal Moe]

<p>you and your girlfriend should really discuss your options and feelings over all this with doctors, counselors and aid workers.</p><p>Yes.&nbsp; Everyone BUt your families, who will end up supporting the kid when you can't.</p>

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[ADF]

Three syllables... a-bor-tion.<br />


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[Death Metal Moe]

<p>I was quick to say abortion in the past.&nbsp; But there are lots of people looking to adopt.&nbsp; I'm not saying it will be an easy life for a kid, but it's not&nbsp;death sentence either.&nbsp; I know people who overcome their problems, and I know people who have failed with all the backing by family in the world.</p><p>I'd say abortion over an orphanage or being sent from foster home to foster home though.</p>

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[DJEvelEd]

<p><strong>Let Baby Finster LIVE!!!!</strong></p><p><strong>Whether you keep the baby or not, you shouldn't take someone's life away because of your irresponsible behaivor. Aren't you glad your Mom let YOU live. </strong></p><p><strong>I see a church doorstep in your future...</strong></p>

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[furie]

<p>&nbsp;</p><font face="Verdana" style="font-size: 9px;">quote:</font><font face="Verdana" style="font-size: 9px;">quote: </font>&quot;Babies don't cost money, they make money. especially the little blue eyed ones!&quot; Jeri Blank<br />Isnt the little white ones that make the money?<br />

When i first arrived you were all such jerks

But now i've come to love your quirks<br />yes you're right. i was doing it from memory.<p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>i'm
an expecting father and i'm excited. of course i'm 31. my situation is
completly diffrent from yours. i'm hesitant to give advice on this,
even when it's solicitated, because there's the lives of three people
at stake. but to be a parent at your age, and in this day and age, i
don't see how it could turn out to be a good situation for the baby.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Adoption.&nbsp;</p>


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[whiteboy1457]

<p>you say that like you would have nothing to do with the baby if she does. great start for the kid.</p><p>I didnt mean for it to come out that way but i plan to do every thing humanly possible to support this kid.&nbsp; Im not pretending to know how to take care of a baby but i can financally support this baby with the $20000 my grandfather left me and the $500 i make weekly.</p><p><strong>Whether you keep the baby or not, you shouldn't take someone's life away because of your irresponsible behaivor.</strong></p><p>You say that like you never had sex when you were a kid.&nbsp; I did every thing in my power to make sure that this situation wouldnt happen.&nbsp; I wore a condom but unfortunatley it broke</p><p>but to be a parent at your age, and in this day and age, i don't see how it could turn out to be a good situation for the baby.</p><p>I agree i dont think it is the best situation for a baby to be in. but ultimately if it is decided that the baby is going to be kept ill do my best to make the situation work</p>

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[TheMojoPin]

Honestly, it sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders.&nbsp; Your heart's in the right place, man...

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[Heavy]

<p><font size="1">what would be the best course of action?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </font></p><p>Abortion.</p>

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[Bulldogcakes]

<p>&nbsp;</p><font face="Verdana" style="font-size: 9px;">quote:</font><p>While
I'm sure everyone posting here has the best intentions, I also hope
it's obvious that the advice here shouldn't be what you base this
decision on.</p><p>This is a huge, life-changing event, and you and
your girlfriend should really discuss your options and feelings over
all this with doctors, counselors and aid workers. They're out there to
people like you guys through situations like this.</p><p>Good luck.</p><br />FUCK! I hate it when I have to agree with Mojo! <p>&nbsp;</p><p></p>
<p><font size="0" face="verdana" color="black">I was quick to say
abortion in the past.&nbsp; But there are lots of people looking to adopt.&nbsp;
I'm not saying it will be an easy life for a kid, but it's not&nbsp;death
sentence either.&nbsp; I know people who overcome their problems, and I know
people who have failed with all the backing by family in the world.</font></p>
<p><font size="0" face="verdana" color="black">I'd say abortion over an orphanage or being sent from foster home to foster home though.</font></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>THis is VERY true. Its really easy to get an abortion in this
country, and unnecessarily difficult to adopt. Which is why many
couples spend tens of thousands and go overseas to adopt. Completely
ass backwards. There are waiting lists of thousands good families
waiting to adopt, and over a million abortions per year. Imagine if you
were one of those families waiting. Does this mean ban abortion? No.
But ALOT <u>ALOT</u> more could be done to make adoption a more viable, acceptable option. <br />
</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>There is also a very unfortunate racial factor here. If the baby is
dark skinned (I dont know what race you two are) the chances of being
successfully adopted go down dramatically. If its a white baby, it will
be adopted, period. Which is a sad comment on our country, both Black
and White. <br />
</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>


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[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

<p>You're heart is in the right place.&nbsp;I agree with Mojo, this forum should only be a sounding board. What decision you make is ultimately yours.</p><p>That said, I hope you both weigh all your options carefully. What are your plans for the future? Maybe college? &nbsp;A baby is a big responsibility-- like 18 years and then some one. You're not even 18 yet. Assuming your girlfriend wants to keep the child, what kind of future can you give him/her?</p><p>It's going to be a tough road if you choose to keep the baby. &nbsp;You're going to have to provide monthly support. Can you do this? </p><p>My personal stance? Abortion or adoption. You're too young to have a baby. </p>

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[Heavy]

Kid, if youre considering adoption you better contact someone to answer your questions NOW.&nbsp;

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[PapaBear]

<p>&nbsp; I'll start by saying I'm pro-choice. That said, I had my first child before I was ready. We weren't as young as you (she was 19 and I was 23).&nbsp; Life was, and still is, a constant struggle.&nbsp; It's actually been a MAJOR struggle.&nbsp; I'll say this...&nbsp; Our choice to keep our son, is a choice I'll NEVER regret.&nbsp; There are many aspects of our lives that could be better, but the one thing that would make our lives worse, would not being graced with our son.</p><p>&nbsp; Your first decision is to decide the fate of your baby.&nbsp; Your second decision is about marriage.&nbsp; Do NOT marry this girl based on your possible choice to keep the child.&nbsp; It will only make things worse.&nbsp; I wish you the best, bud-day, and I suggest this...&nbsp; after you decide what to do, make sure you get counseling.&nbsp; The fact that you are actually concerned (when many peope wouldn't really give a damn) about this issue, means that you have a concsious. GOOD LUCK!!!</p>

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