I'm getting a prosthesis!!! [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

DJEvelEd

05-23-2005, 08:08 AM

I am going for more back surgery in the Fall. I am a candidate for spinal fusion but I am much more interested in the Artificial Disc Replacement that was just approved by the FDA. I had a discectomy on April 1 to remove fragments and the surgeon said that my disc was like water. It is really degenerated so I need to do something to remedy it. The best doctors for this particular procedure are in Germany. The German doctors train the American doctors on how do do this operaton so I want to go to the teachers, so Deutschland here I come!!!Currently there is only one disc approved for use in the USA. It is called the Charite and has a plastic core:<img height="279" src="http://www.spineuniversity.com/charite_disc/images/3d_spinerender_disc.jpg" width="240" border="0" /><img src="http://www.neurocirugia.com/intervenciones/Prodisc/imagenes/sbcharite.jpg" border="0" />The disc that I really like is the Maverick which is ALL cobalt and no plastic. This disc has NOT been approved yet but is used alot in Europe.<img src="http://www.centerforspinecare.com/maverick/images/artificialdisc.jpg" border="0" /><img height="223" src="http://www.ortholef.com/fotos/maverick.JPG" width="425" border="0" />Does anyone have experience with an artificial prosthesis? I know plastic knees, hips, and shoulders have been replaced with steel because of wear and tear. Am I right to push for the steel disc? I need this disc to last 50 years and I feel the steel will do just that.I can't wait to go through an airport metal detector and freak out all the idiot security guards.Note to Mods: Dont lock this just because you feel it's disgusting or shocking. People have bodies and bodies have functions. Someday you may need to deal with the kind of things that I do...

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Death Metal Moe

05-23-2005, 08:24 AM

But did you just shit all over yourself after you found out you'd need it?Then, you should have dumped on a plate and taken a turd, put it in your mouth and done a David Letterman impression with a piece of corn stuck in the gap in your teeth.Make sure you eat something right before the surgery.  That way you'll be sure to release your bowels during the procedure, and everyone can smell your feces.  Maybe they'll smear it all over themselves and the stitches on your back when they're done.  That would be so sick.

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mikeyboy

05-23-2005, 08:29 AM

quote: Note to Mods: Dont lock this just because you feel it's disgusting or shocking. People have bodies and bodies have functions. Someday you may need to deal with the kind of things that I do...  Don't be an ass.  You know damn well the difference between an unfunny, hack, redundant post that's disgusting for the sole purpose of trying to shock and a legitimate thread topic for discussion. <img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=mikeyboy" border="0" /> <a href="http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm" target="blank">Ron & Fez Show Log</a>; Daily News Scratch N' Match is the Devil <a href="http://www.radiobbq.net/" target="blank">The Music Mikey Likes Show on RadioBBQ, weekdays 11:00 am - 1:00 pm</a> Now with new <a href="http://www.ronfez.net/mediastorage/mikey/mikeyshowtheme.mp3" target="blank">theme song</a> by BoBoGolem

This message was edited by mikeyboy on 5-23-05 @ 12:30 PM

Death Metal Moe

05-23-2005, 08:31 AM

Ed just got MikeyMAN HANDLED!!!

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torker

05-23-2005, 08:33 AM

prosthetic poop<img height="330" src="http://www.soimmature.com/images/stepped_in_doo_2.gif" width="180" border="0" />hope all goes well 

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Death Metal Moe

05-23-2005, 08:42 AM

<img height="330" src="http://www.soimmature.com/images/stepped_in_doo_2.gif" width="180" border="0" />PLEASE tell me that does not say "Put the Doo on the side of a shoe and get laughs from your whole crew."PLEASE tell me that's a illusion.  PLEASE.

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walking joint

05-23-2005, 08:44 AM

the guy in the picture is laughing at it and its on his own shoe. he must have known the joke before he put it on....or is it just that funny.

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DJEvelEd

05-23-2005, 09:21 AM

quote: Make sure you eat something right before the surgery.  That way you'll be sure to release your bowels during the procedure, and everyone can smell your feces.  Maybe they'll smear it all over themselves and the stitches on your back when they're done.  That would be so sick  Although this may be a popular German pasttime, it may cause infection.For a week before the surgery I can eat only chicken broth and water. This is because they go in from an incision in the stomach to access the spine. It makes for an easier recovery if there is no food in my belly. The hospital won't release me until I can Poo & Pee.There is also a 2%  chance of retrograde ejaculation. That I don't likey!<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> FLING <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> FLING <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> ........... <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> SPLATT <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> SPLATT <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> PUTTING THE FUNNY IN PRESENTLY SEEN DEPTHS SPONSORED BY:"THE FÆCES™OF CÆSAR" BY ÆSOP ©464 B.C. <img src="http://64.177.177.182/katylina/shockposters.jpg" border="0" /> 

This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 5-23-05 @ 1:35 PM

Tall_James

05-23-2005, 09:33 AM

The best doctors for this particular procedure are in Germany.The Germans are also the best producers of Scat-porn.  Coincidence Ed?  I think not.

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FUNKMAN

05-23-2005, 09:51 AM

those germans sure do love David Hasselhoff...   and surgeryEd,Best Of Luck with the surgery!!! No Shit...

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torker

05-23-2005, 11:34 AM

when you're all better you can finally teach your mom the roc-awayNigga we from the Bronx, New York... shit happens 

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sr71blackbird

05-24-2005, 02:48 PM

Make sure you find out any risks in case of paralysis and if you have any recourse for doing surgery outside the country, for lawsuits etc.  Not saying anything bad about it, just hoping you cover your bases.  The spine looks like a delicate area to me and I hope its been thoughly tested on people.  Id hate to hear anything bad.  I imagine if you considering this, that your in a LOT of pain.  Good luck.

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EffMeBoobs

06-02-2005, 09:52 PM

I wish you luck.  I've had a L4-L5 diskectomy and thankfully
I'm doing okay.  I've had some bad times here and there but for
the most part (even after the same level re-herniated again) I'm all
good.  I've been through it all; acupucture, back injections,
physical therapy, mri, ct, xray, emg....you name it, I had it. 
Lately I use vicoden when needed, which isnt much....what I find that
relieves the pain is walking....I do about 3 miles of it a day. 
Now my pain level is about a 2...which is totally doable. Best of luck and let us know what happens. 

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DJEvelEd

06-03-2005, 03:33 AM

I just got my last MRI results back and it looks like my surgeon didn't do such a great job. He told me my disc was like water but the MRI shows dehyration. I have stenosis now and dissication! I really need to get out of Jersey for my back surgeries but it seems like I will need a court order to do so (even though it's workers comp) I'm gathering all my info and rolling up my sleeves for a fight with Liberty Mutual!I would be so happy if my pain was at a "2" without the use of Oxy, Valium, Neurontin, Electric stim, and large quantities of pot. My pain is a "6" WITH all that shit. I just want to bend over and touch the floor with my palms someday! I've seen people with 2 level Artificial Disc Replacement and they can do just that!

:) FLING :) :) FLING :) ........... :gasp: SPLATT :gasp: :gasp: SPLATT :gasp:
PUTTING THE FUNNY IN PRESENTLY SEEN DEPTHS
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EffMeBoobs

06-03-2005, 09:20 AM

Wow it's a 6 with all that stuff?!    Definitely
fight with Liberty Mutual.  I hope you get to go to Germany and
get this new procedure.  I would love to see you bend over and
touch the ground.......ok well maybe not....but you know what I
mean. 

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Tall_James

06-03-2005, 10:25 AM

I would love to see you bend over Too easy.

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Katylina

06-03-2005, 04:40 PM

Mister Turd was the king of prosthetic poop. Good luck.<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=katylina" border="0" /> <a href="http://www.pagerealm.com/katylina/index.html" target="_new">Katylina's Web Page</a> buy me diamonds and rubies, i'm crazy bout bentleys, gucci dresses and drop top compresses, wine me and dine me, bring those platinum rings, those are a few of our favorite things

This message was edited by Katylina on 6-3-05 @ 8:40 PM

FUNKMAN

06-03-2005, 09:14 PM

I just want to bend over and touch the floor with my palms someday!so you're not happy just grabbing your ankles?<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/thumbup.gif" border="0" />seriously, good luck and hope all works out for the best

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sr71blackbird

08-01-2005, 08:53 AM

So whatever happened with this?  Did you get it? I was going to match you up against snoogans, but then I remembered you had some spine issue.  Did you fix it and can you battle snoogans?

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DJEvelEd

08-01-2005, 10:27 AM

I'm going for my 1st of 2 epidural injections tomorrow. The Dr. is injecting the scar tissue directly which is different than past ones. My past epidurals did nothing but my disc is different now after the April 1 surgery.I hope the epidurals can hold me over until the FDA approves the artificial disc that I approve of. Then I intend to fight for the BEST doctor. AND I CAN BEAT SNOOGANS WITH ONE HAND TIED AROUND MY BAD BACK!

:) FLING :) :) FLING :) ........... :gasp: SPLATT :gasp: :gasp: SPLATT :gasp:
PUTTING THE FUNNY IN PRESENTLY SEEN DEPTHS
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sr71blackbird

08-01-2005, 01:08 PM

Isnt part of what a disk does is absorb shock?  If the core of it is solid steel or cobalt like you want, will it be able to handle the shock, and how does it do that?  I can see how it would flex and pivot, are they relying on other disks to absorb the shock as well? Do the plastic core ones need to be replaced periodically and thats what you dont want?

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Alice S. Fuzzybutt

08-01-2005, 02:51 PM

Good luck with the whole process!

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DJEvelEd

08-01-2005, 03:45 PM

The artificial discs are not really designed to absorb shock. Theyÿdoÿpreserve motion of the disc, something fusing the spineÿdoes notÿdo.I don't like the plastic core discs for the same reason hip replacements stopped using plastic. Plastic discs won't last as long as titanium/cobalt discs. I need 50 years out of this disc!ÿI hope to live long enough to laugh, poop myself, laugh,ÿyell for some hot nurse to change me, and laugh!

<img src=http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif> FLING <img src=http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif> <img src=http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif> FLING <img src=http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif> ........... <img src=http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif> SPLATT <img src=http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif> <img src=http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif> SPLATT <img src=http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif>
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This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 8-1-05 @ 7:48 PM

sr71blackbird

08-01-2005, 06:19 PM

What I meant was, if a plastic disk breaks down, can they replace it?  Or, lets say 20 years from now they make a tremendous step forward and have a whole new technology and youll wish you had it, but your kind of stuck with the titanium/cobalt disk..

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DJEvelEd

09-25-2006, 09:00 PM

Today I got my Prodisc surgery scheduled with Dr. Goldstein for Tuesday October 24. I'll need a "medical clearance" first which should happen within the next few weeks. It took three years of fighting with the insurance company to finally get to this point. They wanted to send me to a surgeon with NO experience. I fought that! They also wanted to try to give me the inferior "Charite" artificial disc. I fought that! They try to wear you down, but I kept fighting and fighting and finally got the procedure/hardware that my surgeon and I both prefer. The Prodisc is the best available of all the discs right now and since it was FDA approved in August, it's not considered experimental anymore. The Activ-L and Maverick are even better and will be FDA approved next year. I can't wait that long. Three years of Oxycontin and severe pain have driven me to this decision which is the best one I could make right now.They will enter from the stomach and move the Iliac vein aside to get to the disc (the most dangerous part of the procedure and requires a vascular surgeon) They will then clean out what is left of my disc and then implant a new disc made of a cobalt-chrome alloy with an ultra high molecular weight polyethylene core<img height="428" src="http://www.spine-service.org/images/ApproachPIC.jpg" width="426" border="0" /> <img height="288" src="http://www.spine-service.org/images/InSituCSection.jpg" width="384" border="0" />   In the near future they will just inject your disc space with a liquid that foams up and becomes your disc for about 3 years.They will also be able to grow new discs with your stem cells too.  I am also piss-happy because when I called Amtrak to ask about getting ice for my medication, the man told me that since I have handicap status, I am entitled to a LARGER bedroom with a PERSONAL SHOWER AND SHITTER!!! AND IT'S $3.40 LESS!!! Apparantly the handicap status is better than AAA!!! I'm totally first class on my vacation baby! Whooooohoooooo!!!!!  The sun shines on a dog's ass every once in a while...             

This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 9-26-06 @ 1:09 AM

HBox

09-25-2006, 09:11 PM

I'm sorry to hear that you had to suffer so long but happy to hear it will end soon.

sr71blackbird

09-26-2006, 05:05 PM

<img height="428" src="http://www.spine-service.org/images/ApproachPIC.jpg" width="426" border="0" />Just make sure Dr Goldstein is not doing this when looking into the stomach cavity:<img height="361" src="http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j234/anti_heroz13/X-Ray20Blowjob.jpg" width="450" border="0" /> Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

reeshy

09-26-2006, 05:34 PM

Holy Shit....doesn't your doctor know that your spine is in the BACK of your body???????????

DJEvelEd

09-27-2006, 05:08 AM

What I meant was, if a plastic disk breaks down, can they replace it?  Or, lets say 20 years from now they make a tremendous step forward and have a whole new technology and youll wish you had it, but your kind of stuck with the titanium/cobalt disk..  Yes they do revision surgery. The sooner the better to avoid the scar tissue buildup. Some people get a new disc during revision surgery, some just get fusion. It not a good thing but it can happen occasionally. Holy Shit....doesn't your doctor know that your spine is in the BACK of your body???????????  They enter through the front because there are less nerves to ding while going that way. A friend of mine at work had posterior "fusion" and they moved both of her L4-L5 nerves out of the way to fuse her spine (YOU DONT TOUCH NERVES!) and when she woke up she couldn't feel her legs for 10 days. Thats scary shit! She was out of work for 7 months and her leg still goes completely numb. She's in alot less pain than she used to be. She went from 8/10 (real bad) to a 2/10 (my goal). I'll hopefully be able to give the rest of my Oxycontin to Snoogans who needs them more than me. You ever see that dude?  <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" /> I asked Dr. Goldstein to go through the front to retreive an old Columbian condom that I forgot to shit out, on his way to my spine. He can also remove any FÆTUSES he finds. If the FÆTUS is small enough, I can wear it around my neck.I may film it but I have to get permission from NYU. It's TOTALLY NARLEY! They use a mallet to hammer the disc into place!!!<img height="361" src="http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j234/anti_heroz13/X-Ray20Blowjob.jpg" width="450" border="0" /> Just make sure Dr Goldstein is not doing this when looking into the stomach cavity:   It depends, Which one am I?  

This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 9-27-06 @ 9:19 AM

reeshy

09-27-2006, 02:21 PM

It depends, Which one am I? C'mon, Ed.....you know damn well which one!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chigworthy

10-02-2006, 08:48 PM

I had a diskectomy in the old S5 region last year.  It was loads of fun, considering I have some strange thing with surgery.  I seem to like it.  Anyway, I've been off the Vics for about 8 months now, although I wouldn't mind still doin' 'em.  They were becoming a little too consuming, so I cut myself off.  My pain is still a 4 or 5, and it's hard for me to keep a hard-on in the missionary position.  The sciatica is almost completely gone, so that's just tits in my little book.  Now I just pretend I am about 20 years older and act like I have a right to be a crotchety prick because of my pain.

DJEvelEd

10-23-2006, 02:19 PM

History:*Work Accident(bad fall): 12/16/03 *Diagnosed with herniation and DDD at L4-L5 *Discectomy for herniation: 4/1/05 (fragments removed, MUCH scar tissue left) *Many epidurals and facet injections...no relief *5/15/06 discogram confirmed L4-L5 also an asymptomatic L5-S1 tear *Prodisc surgery scheduled with Dr. Goldstein on Oct 24... *240mg. Oxycontin *20mg. Valium *2100mg. Neurontin(Gabapentin) *Testosterone&HCG Future:So bright I gotta wear a brace.Big dinner than fasting after midnight. The pain has been so bad lately, I'm really looking forward to being cut, having my intestines and arteries moved aside while the surgeon hammers my bionic disc into place tomorrow morning.There's a 2% chance that when I cum, I'll cum into my bladder. That's called retrograde ejaculation. I piss sperm out later. I guess if I want kids I have to piss inside the vagina. Well it's not like I never did that before... I just don't like when the girl pisses back. Nothing worse than a pissing contest during sex.             Your Mom's Box...

Crippler

10-23-2006, 02:56 PM

Best of luck, Ed!  Glad this shit with your insurance finally worked out in your favor enough to get this done.

Hottub

10-23-2006, 03:00 PM

Godspeed, Ed. You will definitly come out just fine.  And live to regret that "Yoru Mom's Box"!!Looking forward to the update. Jon

This message was edited by Hottub on 10-23-06 @ 7:00 PM

FezPaul

10-23-2006, 03:14 PM

mikeyboy wrote: quote: Note to Mods: Dont lock this just because you feel it's disgusting or shocking. People have bodies and bodies have functions. Someday you may need to deal with the kind of things that I do...  Don't be an ass.  You know damn well the difference between an unfunny, hack, redundant post that's disgusting for the sole purpose of trying to shock and a legitimate thread topic for discussion. <a href="http://www.ronfez.net/faq.cfm#11">I'm still not 100% sure.</a>

This message was edited by FezPaul on 10-23-06 @ 7:18 PM

Fez4PrezN2008

10-23-2006, 06:26 PM

Good luck man !!!!!!!!!!!!

blakjeezis

10-23-2006, 09:04 PM

I've never been a huge fan of Ed's, but as final, deathbed posts go, that was pretty good. 

This message was edited by blakjeezis on 10-24-06 @ 1:04 AM

suggums

10-23-2006, 09:25 PM

FezPaul wrote  <a href="http://www.ronfez.net/faq.cfm#11">I'm still not 100% sure.</a>

This message was edited by FezPaul on 10-23-06 @ 7:18 PM <blockquote />  speaking of which, BLACK EARL needs to get on updating the faq.  giant brian, ogre, benecio, crazy jen, infinity broadcasting, i mean COME ON

sr71blackbird

10-26-2006, 05:25 PM

Has Ed been on since?

DJEvelEd

10-29-2006, 05:07 AM

Thanks everyone. I'm in alot of pain right now but I will get better every day. I officially have a Prodisc in my vertebrae now but the pain is from when they moved my guts around. Feels like I've been shot. I got gas and can't wait to take a nice steamy one. Lots of yogurt, morphine & Oxycontin. I gotta find a way to keep my cats from jumping on me. I put a pillow and a piece of cardboard on my belly when I lay down so it doesn't hurt so much when they do.When do my bionic powers kick in?I came home to watch football and DAMMIT that's what Ima gonna do. Glad to be home. I have lotsa stories but not today.Thanks for everyones concern!!! No place like homeNo place like homeNo place like home       

This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 10-29-06 @ 9:11 AM

sr71blackbird

10-29-2006, 06:13 AM

Glad you made it!<img height="347" src="http://www.army-technology.com/contractor_images/sms/4-Body-Armor-Vest.jpg" width="300" border="0" />

DJEvelEd

10-29-2006, 07:03 AM

No brace!!! Just a walker!!!Ima get my own because of my cats. Nap time before NFL.......Zzzzzzzzzzz.....jeep jeep jeep jeep.....Zzzzzzzzzzz Jeep jeep jeep jeep

Snoogans

10-29-2006, 07:10 AM

funny, i didnt know a bad back prevented you from answering your phone

sr71blackbird

10-29-2006, 08:01 AM

Holy shit!  A Snoogans sighting!

DJEvelEd

10-29-2006, 10:04 AM

It's kinda painful to talk/laugh/breathe/cough so Sweety has been calling my Mom and Gramma and giving messages to them. We're not picking up any #'s we don't know, but I have your # on my ID and I told Sweety to give you the message that I was about to pass out into LAL a land.I can't type for very long either. Im so wasted!!!!! But BOY do I have some great hospital stories, walkers....old lady ass......commodes and everything!

DJEvelEd

10-29-2006, 10:04 AM

Snoogans

10-29-2006, 10:42 AM

but still, he has the energy to click on post message twice

DJEvelEd

10-30-2006, 02:51 AM

I've never been on so many drugs at once. I physically cannot talk for more than a minute. I have an aide here with me when Sweety is not here. They basically do everything for me. I may take my first shower today because I am sick of sponge baths. I havent even spoken to my Gramma yet but today should be the day I make my all my phone calls.and for the record, I RARELY double post. I blame the pharmacutical companys.LaL a Land can be fun though! You know about that Snoogans...

sr71blackbird

11-09-2006, 04:06 PM

So hows it healing Ed?

DJEvelEd

12-28-2006, 07:11 PM

I'll show you:  (hopefully you'll see the X-Ray and not the dreaded Red X)<img src="http://www.globalpatientservices.com/07/en/sys/php/get.php?usr=pt-0508081-eg&ft=films&fn=s-xray-061024-3-3.jpg" border="0" width="486" height="522" /> Physical therapy has been kickin my ass. I'm sore as a fuck. Leg pain and everything. I take a cock tail of drugs to get me through the day BUTT I haven't worked since October 24th and won't go back until March or later, that's a nice long paid vacation....tax free! Worker's Comp ROCKS! Money for nothin and my drugs for free...

DJEvelEd

12-28-2006, 07:18 PM

<img src="http://www.globalpatientservices.com/07/en/sys/php/get.php?usr=pt-0508081-eg&ft=films&fn=s-xray-061024-3-2.jpg" border="0" width="296" height="311" />I got a cute tailbone, don't cha think? I think I had some shit packed up there....

reeshy

12-28-2006, 07:18 PM

Thanks Ed for all the advise and info.....May Ann got in touch with your doctor and she is going to see him....thanks!!!!  you're a real friend!!!!!!!

DJEvelEd

12-28-2006, 07:22 PM

GODDAMN THAT RED X!!!The implant can be seen at:<a href="http://www.globalpatientservices.com/">www.globalpatientservices.com</a>user: egrimespassword: 12345On the left side, choose VIEW profile and scroll down to the first set of films.I'm going to have to save the file on my site and relink!  

This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 12-28-06 @ 11:23 PM

DJEvelEd

12-28-2006, 08:00 PM

No problem! We "Spineys" have to stick together.What's cool about going to the <a href="http://www.globalpatientservices.com/">www.globalpatientservices.com</a> site is that when you click on the films they get HUGE.Show anyone with a back problem these pics of my Prodisc and say NO to fusion!These damn pics are too big for my AOL hometown. Screw it. You wanna see my Prodisc, go to the site!user: egrimespassword: 12345

This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 12-29-06 @ 12:04 AM