Dumbest Thing You've Ever Done [Archive]

Melrapuo

05-27-2005, 09:03 PM

Today I was playing basketball with some friends.  We were playin' 21 or Around the World, some dumb game.  Anyway, we start fuckin' around with the basketball, and I pick up my metal bat and start hitting the ball with it.  We find this cool, and get a reverse game of BASEketball goin' (Play baseball, but with a basketball and a bat).So the game's goin pretty good, and I get up.  Now, when you hit a basketball with a metal bat, the bat completely stops.  You can't just swing through like with a baseball.  I swing at the next "pitch" with all my might, and I hit the ball.  However, the bat recoils right back into my face.  I go "O shit", and go to one knee.  I checked my teeth to make sure I didn't chip any, cuz I have a tendency to do that whenever I do something dumb.  They were fine, so I went "Ok good..."  Then I started to bleed.  I couldn't figure out what it was, until I felt my chin.Long story short, I had to go to the hospital and get 9 stitches on my chin.  Easily one of the dumbest things I've ever done.  Anyone else do something extremely stupid?

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monsterone

05-27-2005, 10:38 PM

the list is way too long but the 1st thing that comes to mind is saying, "HIGH 5" to a guy w/ 4 fingers.  how was i supposed to know???

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Alice S. Fuzzybutt

05-27-2005, 10:42 PM

I congratulated a woman who had just had a miscarriage on her pregnancy. NO ONE TOLD ME SHE LOST THE BABY! OUCH!I down shifted a car from forth gear into third.<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~stan_ferguson/alicesig.jpg" border="0" /> "We sound just like Cheap Trick only the guitars are louder," - Kurt Cobain "I prefer to listen to Cheap Trick." -Homer Simpson

This message was edited by Alice S. Fuzzybutt on 5-28-05 @ 2:43 AM

Snoogans

05-28-2005, 04:53 AM

So the game's goin pretty
good, and I get up.  Now, when you hit a basketball with a metal bat,
the bat completely stops.  You can't just swing through like with a
baseball.  I swing at the next "pitch" with all my might, and I hit the
ball.  However, the bat recoils right back into my face. no
offense man, but you must swing like a girl, cause ive hit soccer
balls, kick balls, basketballs, even a couple footballs with a bat and
was always able to swing through it. not like a baseball, it slows down
alot, but the bat never came back at me 

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sr71blackbird

05-28-2005, 05:37 AM

A month ago, I was getting ready to change the water in my fish tanks and I had a 5 gallon pail of water ready next to the table where the fish tank is.  Also on that table is a desk lamp that I had on to help me see the bottom of the tank.  I knocked the lamp over and it fell right into the pail of water, still plugged in with the light on and it sank to the bottom.  I reached in up to my elbow and grabbed the lamp and pulled it out and set it back upon the table.  I dont know why I didnt get shocked or the lamp short out, but the instant I did it I cursed myself thinking it was an extemely stupid thing to do. When I was a kid I use to play down by the railroad tracks and one time I touched the 3rd rail and the track at the same time and nearly fried myself.  Another time I layed a pipe on the 3rd rail and let the other end drop on the track and was nearly blinded by the light and heat; the whites of my eyes turned purple for a few days. Also when I was a kid I crushed a battery in my fathers vice and liquid from the battery shot right into my eye and I rinced them under water and nothing happend, amzingly. Yep, I did some stupid stuff in my life.

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Snoogans

05-28-2005, 05:43 AM

i dont think its possible for me to choose just one as the dumbest thing, so ill just give one bad one: when
i was like 8, i was jumping fences through backyard in my old town with
a couple friends. one fence was a little picket fence, so i put my foot
between 2 pickets and went to jump off the top of the fence. my foot
got stuck between the pickets, and i fell 4 feet onto my face, breaking
my nose. 

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torker

05-28-2005, 06:55 AM

When I was about 12 I dropped a lit firecracker into a sewer.  It caused a huge explosion blowing the manhole cover about 9 feet in the air and knocked me from the middle of the street to curbside.  Nobody was hurt.  However, my cotton-poly blend Toughskins® were crisped.<img height="591" src="http://www.searsarchives.com/brands/images/1981_TS3Jeans_96.jpg" width="423" border="0" />

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[center]

DJEvelEd

05-28-2005, 07:10 AM

I let a hooker shit into my mouth without wearing a condom.

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JesterOfSadness

05-28-2005, 07:20 AM

While I was at work I went to sit on a carboard box(thinking that there was something in it) and I collapse to the hard concrete floor hard on my boney ass. I lay on the ground screaming in pain while customers walk on by asking me if we have any Fancy Feast Cat food on the shelf.Same day I was holding a large wooden bird perch and I made the action of hitting myself in the head with it(we were talking about wrestling) and I full out clocked myself in the head with the hardest part of it, busting myself open.There was also the Kendo stick accident..but thats for another time

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Melrapuo

05-28-2005, 10:19 AM

quote:  quote: So the game's goin pretty good, and I get up.  Now, when you hit a basketball with a metal bat, the bat completely stops.  You can't just swing through like with a baseball.  I swing at the next "pitch" with all my might, and I hit the ball.  However, the bat recoils right back into my face.   no offense man, but you must swing like a girl, cause ive hit soccer balls, kick balls, basketballs, even a couple footballs with a bat and was always able to swing through it. not like a baseball, it slows down alot, but the bat never came back at me   Next time there's a softball game I can go to, I'll prove to you that I in no way swing like a girl.  Believe me, this ball was not coming in slow either.

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spoon

05-28-2005, 02:42 PM

Snoogans seems to have a fetish with hitting shit with bats?  I guess it's to make up for his lack of a real sex life.  

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curtoid

05-28-2005, 04:04 PM

There are tons, all of which help explain my current life as a shut in. 
* Getting kicked out of boarding school half way through the 12th grade...* Firing bottle rockets at a neighbor's house in the middle of the day...* Making "retarded kid" jokes to someone whose niece is retarded...* Sending an e-mail to a coworker about what a horrible boss our boss was, and accidently sending it to the boss...

Death Metal Moe

05-28-2005, 08:06 PM

I checked my teeth to make sure I didn't chip any, cuz I have a tendency to do that whenever I do something dumb.<img height="303" src="http://www.stressfactory.com/comics/richvos2.jpg" width="200" border="0" />"You shouldn't suck on the dildo."

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PapaBear

05-28-2005, 09:38 PM

I held a pair of sunglasses in front of Jeff Healy's face and asked, "are these yours?". <img height="153" src="http://www.blueheartarchive.com/2004/Jeff%20Healy%20-%20Healey's%20-%202004.jpg" width="240" border="0" />

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MrPink

05-28-2005, 09:53 PM

most of mine involve fire. one time, i lit a firecracker and started talking to someone and forgot the firecracker was still in my hand.... once i was playing with gasoline and sprayed it everywhere and didn't notice i got some on my pants and i got my pants burnt up.... just 2 weeks ago i wanted to see if i could handle cigarette burns and got a pretty bad burn..... and then there was the one time that i threw a flaming basketball into someones face.... and on many occasions i almost caught my bedroom on fire.... ok thats enough 

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sr71blackbird

05-29-2005, 03:31 AM

I forgot one.  The day I made my Communion, my parents had a party for me at our house and as the guests were arriving, I was out in the back yard alone playing by our shed and inside it we had lawn mowers and tarps and stuff with an old blanket on top.  I had a magnifying lens and I used the sun to burn a hole in the blanket with it, and then my mom called me inside to see the guests.  An hour later, I glaned out the window in the backyard and see smoke pouring out of the shed.  I call my dad and we fly outside and he starts grabbing the blanket and its in flames and burns his hands and we are trying to pull the gas filled lawn mower out before the whole thing goes up.  Thankfully, the rest of the shed didnt catch on fire, because the shed was attached to the garage, but man, was my father pissed at me (like a dope, I admitted what I did) and he gave me a good beating in front of my relatives at my own party.

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high fly

05-30-2005, 01:54 AM

Oh dear.Where to begin. Oncet I was fishing and went to cast and released too early on the reel and managed to hook myself in the side but good with two hooks on a treble hook. Both went in past the barbs so I had to push them on back out, and snip the ends off.Trouble was, after I pushed them through, I had no cutters in my tackle box!Well, we were way out in the boat and I wanted to keep fishing and all, so I pulled out on the line to get some good tension and took a real sharp knife and lopped off a lil' chunka meat to get them out. 

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high fly

05-30-2005, 02:00 AM

Then there was the time I was 17 or 18 and just got a 10-speed to ride to work on.I was having a good ole time a-riding all over town till I came to an intersection where a car full of my friends were stopped. As I passed across the front of their car, I turned and waved in an exaggerated fashion, going like, "LOOK AT ME!" and they looked at me plow right into the ass-end of a parked car and up onto the trunk.The front tire had such a dent in it, it was the shape of a pie with one slice taken.As I walked the damned thing home, they were nice enough to drive slowly along the street and hoot at me for 6 or 8 blocks till I got there......

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JesterOfSadness

06-14-2005, 02:24 PM

My apologies for bringing this thread back but I remembered something I did late last year.  In a nutshell I managed to drink a YooHoo and a V8 Splash...pretty much 5 minutes apart making it a V8 Yoohoo Splash. And boy was it a site all over the outside wall....

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Jennitalia

06-15-2005, 06:15 AM

Stayed in a so-called relationship for 3 years.In college I stuck tweezers in an outlet on my vanity mirror while talking on the phone.

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Tall_James

06-15-2005, 06:22 AM

An ex-girlfriend thought she lost a tampon up inside of her and she had me use ice tongs in order to try and fish it out.True story, hilarious in retrospect.

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ChildofFez

06-15-2005, 07:07 AM

once while i was working at a super market just after we closed, so there was no customers inside. I was standing in one register lane and put my hands on 2 register counters and started swinging and i was getting some good air. but i had lost my grip and slammed my head into the tile floor really hard. so not to look like a complete idiot, as everyone is rushing over,I  jump up real fast and throw my arms up like i'm fine. i manage to walk over to the photo department rest a bit on the photo machine. and apparently, as people tell me, i fell back on the floor and started convulsing wildly. and i don't remember a thing about passing out. I probably had a concussion, so instead of going to the hospital i just didn't go to sleep that night.

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Jennitalia

06-15-2005, 07:14 AM

quote: An ex-girlfriend thought she lost a tampon up inside of her and she had me use ice tongs in order to try and fish it out.True story, hilarious in retrospect.<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=tall_james" border="0" /> <a href="http://cheeseeatingbird.blogspot.com/" target="blank">The Cheese-Eating Bird</a> TJ, that reminds me of the first time I tried using a tampon.   I thought it broke inside of me, but I was good to go. Another dumb thing that happened to me was that the first time my guy and I had sex, we tried using a condom, which, lucky for me, was too small for him.  It ended up getting stuck all the way inside of me.  Couldn't get it out on my own, so I had to go to the gyno the next day.  I was mortified, but the dr said it happens all the time. 

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Aggie

06-15-2005, 07:37 AM

Jennie! I miss you, tookie twin. <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smilefrown2.gif" border="0" /> To answer the thread question: I joined ronfez.net.<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=Aggie" border="0" /> "If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain - do you know which philosopher said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits."

This message was edited by Aggie on 6-15-05 @ 11:37 AM

East Side Dave

06-15-2005, 12:42 PM

i once bought a blow-up doll and as i was bangin' it, it popped and started to deflate but i kept bangin' away anyway 'cause i wanted to finish so essentially i was bangin' a puddle of plastic ps- (i finished <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/king.gif" border="0" />)

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East Side Dave

06-15-2005, 12:48 PM

also when i was six i taped a fire-cracker to the back of my Boba Fett action figure 'cause I wanted to simulate his jet pack maneuver from "Jedi" and i forgot when i lit it that i was still in the house which nearly 'caused a serious fire

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Snoogans

06-15-2005, 12:55 PM

i dont know if i actually DID this, but,ahh you'll see when
i was like 8 or 9,, my soucin was 11 or 12, and when he used to stay
over the house, we would go up on the roof and throw things onto the
aluminum shed next door. usually it was like crayons and shita handful
would sound like gunshots firing off at 3 am. one
day we didnt have any crayons left, so we (well, as it turned out just
me) were picking up pebbles to throw. on the roof i realize he was just
pickin up rocks. he lobs a handful of rocks over the fence, hits the
side of the shed, and the whole fuckin thing topples over. people come
runnin outside.  we had to do yardwork for the guy to make up the cost of a new shed 

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GO SAWX!!!!! Hassan Eats Dick!!! Snoogans 1, Monitor 0
GIMMIE MY FUCKIN CHANGE, I AINT PLAYIN WIT YOU

East Side Dave

06-15-2005, 01:02 PM

-speaking of cousins and throwing things my one evil cousin threw my G.I. Joe fighter-jet out of the second floor of our house to see if it could fly and the thing dropped straight down to our driveway and shattered into a million pieces....oh by the way, the fucking idiot did this the day i got the bloody toy on Christmas!! F#$@! <img src="http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif" border="0" /> Big Ass Mafia Click <a href="http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml" target="blank">this link </a>to hear my show on 90.5 The Night FM; Friday and Saturday Night: Midnight to 5 AM you bastards!

This message was edited by East Side Dave on 6-15-05 @ 5:03 PM

WhistlePig

06-15-2005, 02:17 PM

Got REALLY shitfaced the night before Easter a couple of years back and was too sick to go to Easter supper at my moms the next afternoon (she made a ton of food and just her and my dad ended up eating it.) She's never forgiven me for that, and I've never stopped feeling guilty about it! 

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