Traditional Weddings = Snooze Fest

[Gvac]

I think it's about time we put the tired, monotonous wedding reception to death. I attended one last night and can't recall ever being more bored in my entire life.

After attending several dozen of these cookie-cutter affairs over the years, I've seen and heard it all before, and if I never go to another one again I won't miss it one bit. The whole "bride dances with dad", "groom dances with mom", "bride and groom dance", etc. is just the beginning of the nightmare.

Five and a half hours (including the cocktail hour) of this nonsense is more than the average person should have to bear, and could be considered cruel and unusual punishment. I won't even get started on the hour and a half wedding ceremony performed by a blabbermouth bishop.

I'm begging all of you - if you plan on getting married any time soon, please have the good sense to just elope and maybe have a little party a few weeks later. You'll save a ton of money and spare your family and friends a night of pure unadulterated tedium.

Thanks for letting me vent.



<img src=http://ltrooster.homestead.com/files/gvacamerica.jpg>

[Mike from Bklyn]

I'm going to one today. Nothing like putting a suit on in the summer.
Oh yeah, thanks for having it on a Sunday. It's not like I have to work
on Monday.

<IMG SRC=http://home.nyc.rr.com/pbvg/rfsig.JPG>

[fezident]

<p>That's the strange thing about these big formal weddings; very few people actually ENJOY them.</p><p>Back in 1992ish, I was in a wedding band.&nbsp; I was still packing up the gear long after everyone was gone.&nbsp; Many MANY times...the bride would come in the room...wearing sneakers and her wedding dress (or sometimes her regular clothes)...and plop down in a chair and complain about this or that.&nbsp; They couldn't enjoy&nbsp;their own &quot;magical special day&quot;&nbsp;because of the constant posing for pictures.&nbsp;All the dances.&nbsp; Then the nonsense with the wacky &quot;messy&quot; eating of the first slice of cake. Then the whole garter belt and throwing of the bouquet(sp?).&nbsp; In the end, the whole thing a military exercise of where to be and when.&nbsp; </p><p>She then will have a tiny dinner and some water because she didn't get to eat at all that day.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Yup, it's time to retire the whole formal wedding thing.&nbsp; We do it because, supposedly, it's what the bride wants.&nbsp; Too bad it's only in hindsight that&nbsp;she realizes&nbsp;she doesn't&nbsp;want it either.</p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v355/tucker71/fezident.jpg" border="0" /> &quot;Jam out with your clam out&quot;

<font color=black>This message was edited by fezident on 8-7-05 @ 9:18 AM</font>

[Heavy]

you know, if you were on LI GVAC, we might have something here...

http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=JohneeWadd

A proportionate amount of props are equally distributed to my
nigga's Fluff, Alexxis, CanOfSoup15, WWFallon and Katylina

HORDE KING FOREVER!!!

ORACLE NEVER!!!

[A.J.]

<p>Seriously...GVAC is my long-lost twin brother.</p><p>I came to the same conclusion years ago.&nbsp; I already told friends of mine not to ask me to be a best man or usher because I think the whole ceremony is a waste of time and money.&nbsp; Fuck it -- I'll skip the ceremony,&nbsp;cut you a check and wish you all the&nbsp;best.&nbsp;</p><p>My &quot;dream wedding&quot; would have me and my betrothed getting married in something tacky like the Graceland chapel or some drive-in chapel in Vegas.&nbsp; </p><p>And I can't really make fun of the people who have &quot;theme weddings&quot; because they're at least trying to break up the monotany of these wedding ceremonies.</p>

<img src=http://img40.photobucket.com/albums/v124/Canofsoup15/Sigs/AJinDC-Sig.jpg>

A Skidmark/canofsoup15 production.

Red Sox Nation

[WRESTLINGFAN]

Ugh!!! I hate those tacky Chicken Dance, Electric Slide&nbsp;and all those other &quot;cookie cutter&quot; stuff like that.&nbsp; and the fact that i have to drop a buck fitty in the envelope

O and A... PARTY ROCK!!!!!

[Death Metal Moe]

<p>Let Unhallowed turn your next&nbsp;marriage into a</p><p><font size="7">DEATH METAL WEDDING!!!!</font></p><p><a href="mailto:moe@unhallowed.com">moe@unhallowed.com</a> for pricing and availability.&nbsp; <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/devil2.gif" border="0" /></p>

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=njdmmoe">

<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
<A HREF="http://thebigsexxxy.blogspot.com/">One Big SeXXXy Blog</A>

[Hottub]

<p>If I had it to do all over again...</p><p>I would have had a barbeque, and a pool party with a couple of kegs and a DJ.</p><p>Would have saved over 10K and put it down on a house!</p><p>EECCHH!!</p>

<img src="http://www.silentpix.com/images/mysigs/hottub/rotate.php" align="right">
so does that mean that it was "THE ORANGE BOWL OF FAILURE?" Staples <a href="http://www.silentpix.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Myalbums&file=thumbnails&album=41" target="_blank">See The Cruising Vessel</a> Check out silentpix.com.

[El Mudo]

I hope I can convince my future wife to take the cheap route...just seems like a waste of time to me..

<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~bob80/RFnetElMudo.jpg
"> <marquee>....
We haven't seen the sun since '71 </marquee>
Thanks Monsterone And Fallon

[DarkHippie]

When I get married I'm doing it betazoid style, Nekked!

<IMG SRC=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v124/Canofsoup15/Sigs/HippieRat.jpg>
<marquee> Finally on Myspace http://www.myspace.com/darkhippie Please love me </marquee>

[Mike Teacher]

<p>Two radios got married...</p><p>Ceremony sucked, but the reception was excellent.</p><img src="http://members.aol.com/miketeachr/esig" border="0" />

<font color=black>This message was edited by Mike Teacher on 8-7-05 @ 8:55 PM</font>

[torker]

<p>You skipped the part about love.&nbsp; <img height="49" src="http://www.gardenvisit.com/real_estate/images/wedding-kiss.jpg" width="54" border="0" /></p>

[center]<IMG SRC=http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y201/torker1313/xmspace.jpg>[center]

[i][center]Bring on the dancing girls and put the champagne on ice[center][i]

[ChickenHawk]

Weddings are mad lame.

<IMG SRC="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=ChickenHawk"><br>HORDE KING FOREVER!!! ORACLE NEVER!!!<br><strike>Shock</strike><br><marquee behavior=alternate><font size=2><b>EMFA</b></font></marquee>[color=white]

[Death Metal Moe]

<p>At my wedding, I'm playing the Jean-Luc Picard song from the time my 1st guest walks in until the last guest has left.</p><p>Moving from topic to topic....quite hypnotic.</p>

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=njdmmoe">

<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
<A HREF="http://thebigsexxxy.blogspot.com/">One Big SeXXXy Blog</A>

[sr71blackbird]

<p>My wife and I eloped and had the mayor of my town do the ceremony and just had my friend along to witness and take some pics. I told my family the next day and they spread the word through the relatives and they all sent some $ in envelopes. We talked about having a small get together with some close family, but eventually decided against it.&nbsp; Her and I are both shy and we didnt want to be the center of attention. <br />I had the idea that if I did have a small get together, that I would rent a bus and have a mariachi band playing in it while we went to Beni Hana's for dinner as a goof, but it never materialized.&nbsp; We still get the occasional question about it, and some people in her family dont thing it was legit, but fuck em. </p><p>Personally, it will take soem famous people to start the trend if ending the ceremony as we know it, and unfortunatly, so many women have this fantasy of this day and they feel it is &quot;owed them&quot; for all the other weddings they have been to.&nbsp; I think it can happen, but only as long as it doesnt get a bad rep.&nbsp; I am all for the idea of abolising it.. I didnt see too many women post in this tread, you notice?</p>

<center>
http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=8 </center>


<center><B>My Thanks to Just Jon, Reefdwella, ADF, Yerdaddy,Monsterone and Katylina for the sig-pic help and creation!</B></center>
<marquee behavior=alternate><font size=1>Which Witch Wished Which Wicked Wish?</marquee>

[Death Metal Moe]

<p>I didnt see too many women post in this tread, you notice?</p><p>Just to be fair, maybe the 4 of them had something to do.</p>

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=njdmmoe">

<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
<A HREF="http://thebigsexxxy.blogspot.com/">One Big SeXXXy Blog</A>

[FUNKMAN]

<p>we had the traditional wedding back in 86' at the Fiesta in Woodridge. we paid for it ourselves and we got everything back and a little more. it seemed all the people that we talked to that attended talked about having a great time. have to say i remember very little of it, there was so much going on, special dances, pictures, cutting the cake, that it went by in a flash. plus we felt it was important to spend a few minutes with everyone who attended which was approx 250 people. we didn't even eat our dinners.</p><p>i believe it doesn't really matter how, where, or when&nbsp;you marry or just agree to be committed to each other without getting married as long as you love each other. not to say that will guarantee a lifetime relationship but it's probably the best start...</p>

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg">

[sr71blackbird]

<p>&nbsp;</p><p>Just to be fair, maybe the 4 of them had something to do.</p><p>Touche</p><p><img height="263" src="http://www.arkivperu.com/arkiv_dartagnan-dumdum-touche.jpg" width="316" border="0" /></p><img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=8" border="0" /> <strong>My Thanks to Just Jon, Reefdwella, ADF, Yerdaddy,Monsterone and Katylina for the sig-pic help and creation!</strong><font color="#ff0000"><font size="1">Which Witch Wished Which Wicked Wish?</font></font>

<font color=black>This message was edited by sr71blackbird on 8-7-05 @ 10:03 PM</font>

[keithy_19]

<p>The ad is a wedding photographer. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Are the mods having fun or what?</p>

http://64.177.177.182/katylina/keithy.gif

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

I think my wedding offered a lot more than the average wedding. Aside from an open bar, we took a tour around Manhattan Island. Not an easy task three weeks after 9/11. <img src="http://home.comcast.net/~stan_ferguson/alicesig.jpg" border="0" /> &quot;We sound just like Cheap Trick only the guitars are louder,&quot; - Kurt Cobain &quot;I prefer to listen to Cheap Trick.&quot; -Homer Simpson

<font color=black>This message was edited by Alice S. Fuzzybutt on 8-7-05 @ 10:09 PM</font>

[HBox]

<font color="Navy">[size=2]My cousin is having a wedding in the Carribean next
year. And he expects us to come. Yeah, I'm gonna spend the next year
saving up to go on a vacation I don't want to go on, be miserable and
then, oh yeah, cut a check for the privilege of doing so. Yeah, right.</font><br />

<img border="0" src="http://img43.imageshack.us/img43/9434/sig3wm.jpg" />

<font color=black>This message was edited by HBox on 8-7-05 @ 10:13 PM</font>

[smiler grogan]

We had a simple and quick ceremony at a park then our friend graciously let us use her yard for the reception. It was a luau themed party with corresponding food it was fun and relaxing with no dancing or any of that typical nonsense. We did the cake deremony but no smushing of cake on faces.&nbsp;

[angrymissy]

We are having an open bar, martini stations, no elecrtric slide crap, delicious food and a tiny cuban man who sits at a table and rolls cigars. &nbsp;I would hope people will have a good time.&nbsp; I usually have a good time anywhere if there is an open bar.

<BR><img src="http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a63/angrymissy/newsig.gif">
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." [ Theodore Roosevelt ]

[Tenbatsuzen]

<p>Is it wrong for a wedding toast to be a shot of very expensive tequila?</p><p>(and I'm being COMPLETELY serious here)</p>

<center><img src="http://img227.echo.cx/img227/2240/ollie11po.jpg"><br><a href="http://www.postwhores.net">Post whores. Now with 500% more Matty Hate.</a></center>

[JerseyRich]

<p>Gee, thanks Greg. In April you will be reading at my &quot;cookie cutter&quot; wedding.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>The good part of it is, we will have good music.</p><p>The Rules have been layed out as follows:</p><p>No Chicken Dance</p><p>No Electric Slide</p><p>No Billy Joel</p><p>No Elton John</p><p>No KC and the Sunshine Band</p><p>No BON JOVI</p><p>No DEF LEPPARD(still in discussions about this one)</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>So we are off to a good start here.&nbsp;</p>

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/JRsig.gif>

[Stewie]

<p>Dude I gotta say I agree.</p><p>Here is my dilemna, my oldest brother is getting married in December......IN THE PHILIPPINES. I can't even spell it.&nbsp; It's a 20+hour flight that is almost two grand.&nbsp; I FEEL HORRIBLE telling him and his new wife (who is philpino) that I can't go.&nbsp; Truth be told financially I COULD afford it but I would be in such a hole for the next year that it just doesnt make any sense.&nbsp; Not to mention travelling 20 some hours on a plane to go to a wedding where I will know maybe twelve people, most of which I can see any day of the week.&nbsp; Maybe I just stink, maybe I'm an ass but whatever.&nbsp; I'll send them a card, cash and well wishes.</p><p>There is something worse than attending these things and that is watching the AWFUL videos afterwards.&nbsp; I want to find the first ass that decided to tape these things and shove that giant camera and annoying light up his or her respective gaping ass.</p><p>Of course I say all of this, but if some female ever decided she would spend the rest of her life with me I would cave quicker than a mine shaft in Pennsylvania.</p>