Nicolas Cage is a retard. [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

Tall_James

10-03-2005, 12:12 PM

LOS ANGELES (AP) - Oscar-winning actor Nicolas Cage is a new father. His wife, Alice Kim Cage, gave birth Monday to a boy, Kal-el Coppola Cage, in New York City, said Cage's Los Angeles-based publicist, Annett Wolf. No other details were available. "They are healthy and happy and it's quite lovely," Wolf said by phone from New York. Cage is a nephew of filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola. The couple married in July 2004. It was the third marriage for Cage and the first for his new wife, who was 20 when they were wed. They met when Cage visited a Los Angeles restaurant where she was working as a waitress. Cage, 41, who won an Oscar for his role in "Leaving Las Vegas," has a son from a previous relationship. His screen credits also include "Lord of War," now in theaters, "Adaptation,""Honeymoon in Vegas" and "Moonstruck." He was previously married to Lisa Marie Presley and actress Patricia Arquette. He names his son "Kal El"?  You fucking ponderous retard.  Think ahead 7 years to elementary school you dipshit."So Kal-El, think you can fly if we toss you off this building?"  Naming your son after a loved and respected relative/actual living human being = GoodNaming your son after Superman = Retarded

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whitefolks

10-03-2005, 12:15 PM

his kid either has to learn how to fight, or how to run I see homeschooling in his future. 

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booster11373

10-03-2005, 12:28 PM

Maybe Nic thinks the Planet is going to explode and is building a rocket.

JUST SAY NO.....to pimping

Furtherman

10-03-2005, 12:34 PM

The wife isn't too bright either.  This was in the NY POST when National Treasure opened:Somebody get Nicolas Cage's new wife, Alice, an American history book — and quick! Spies at the L.A. premiere of "National Treasure" last week said Alice, 20, seemed befuddled when someone talked to her about the Declaration of Independence."She looked at them and said, 'What is the Declaration of Independence?'"our witness relates — an account confirmed by another attendee. Cage, 40, quickly came to the rescue and said, "I'm sorry — please don't ask my wife any history questions." Here's the question to ponder (but not too long, please).Does she know where Kal-el is from?  Supporting her husband's obsessive penchant for Superman?OR... Nick just said, how about Kal-el?  Knowing she'd be none the wiser (untill the press picked it up) and sold it as a unique name.

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legroommusic

10-03-2005, 12:42 PM

face it. even if the name is retarded, at least the kid's name is better than most black names.

Bama

10-03-2005, 12:51 PM

You could name me any name in the world if I could grow up with more money than I knew what to do with. Lucky kid. 

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This message was edited by Bama on 10-3-05 @ 4:52 PM

Justice4all

10-03-2005, 01:10 PM

Tall James, that could not have been funnier if you tried. Classic. With the rash of stupid names (ie; Coco and Apple) you are really surprised about this. And yes, with the amount of fame and money this kid is born into you think anyone is gonna give a shit his real name is Superman? I pray his middle name is something like Hyme. That would be the icing on the cake.I would find it hysterical if the kid ever grows up to be an actor and winds up playing the role.

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furie

10-03-2005, 01:23 PM

I hope to God that there's a kid in his class named Zod 

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Yosammity

10-03-2005, 02:53 PM

Or kryptonite...

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Death Metal Moe

10-03-2005, 02:56 PM

I hope a bald kid kicks that crap out of Kal-el Cage everyday.

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Tall_James

10-03-2005, 03:13 PM

I hope to God that there's a kid in his class named ZodBrilliant!

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FUNKMAN

10-03-2005, 03:14 PM

somebody should give Nicolas an El Kabong!<img height="369" src="http://www.fascinationst.com/productImages/sku5244.jpg" width="402" border="0" />

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XMRonFez

10-03-2005, 03:38 PM

I may be a retard as well, but I like the name...  I'm not a religious man, but if your up there... Please Help Me Superman...<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~bob80/RFnetXMRonFez.jpg" border="0" />

This message was edited by XMRonFez on 10-3-05 @ 7:42 PM

Snoogans

10-03-2005, 03:42 PM

hey TJ, you're up in Mass now, its not retarded. Its retaaaaaaded 

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A.J.

10-04-2005, 12:02 AM

quote: face it. even if the name is retarded, at least the kid's name is better than most black names. I really should not be laughing at this post.  Really, I shouldn't.

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curtoid

10-04-2005, 03:18 AM

"Kal-El...Apple...Apple...Kal-El."

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The source of all hate

samnyc

10-04-2005, 04:30 AM

he got himself a little asian girl from korea.  getting dumped by elvis must have been very painful.

Doctor Manhattan

10-04-2005, 06:28 AM

Wait, I thought Nic Cage didn't get the role as Superman in the new movie.

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fezident

10-04-2005, 07:44 AM

I have nothing constructive to add to this thread.  I would merely like to 2nd the motion that Nic Cage is, in fact, a retard.

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mikeyboy

10-04-2005, 07:47 AM

quote: Wait, I thought Nic Cage didn't get the role as Superman in the new movie. <a href="http://www.xmradio.com/programming/channel_page.jsp?ch=202" target="_blank"></a>He didn't.  However, he did get get several years ago in the Tim-Burton directed, Kevin Smith written Superman movie that went through a number of additional directors and scripts before ultimately getting scuttled. 

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CaptClown

10-04-2005, 06:04 PM

Poet, Pilot, Apple, Scout and Rumor. Compared to those that name is gold. 

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newport king

10-04-2005, 06:07 PM

ok i'll admit it, when my wife was pregnant i was lobbying to name my son Ferris. I didn't win that one.

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FUNKMAN

10-04-2005, 06:08 PM

any guy that gets jacked off by elizabeth shue can't be all bad...

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Bulldogcakes

10-04-2005, 06:22 PM

Wasn't he obsessed with Elvis at some point? Now its Superman? I smell OCD.  

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Johnny4

10-04-2005, 06:24 PM

If I were going to name my kid after a Superhero I would
at least go with Thor. Maybe even Logan. But Kal-El? He would have been
better off going with Clark. Hey... Is the kids last name gonna be Cage
or Coppola? Kal-El Coppola? Sheesh. That's a bad name even in Porn. The
best part? Do you think he knows Seinfeld already beat him to the
punch? Jerry's son's middle name is also Kal. But Seifeld at least had
the good sense to leave off the EL. 


For example: Kindest Regards, Your Name

Lumber

10-04-2005, 06:25 PM

Superman... Just like me Brou...<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=jtodd" border="0" />

This message was edited by Lumber on 10-4-05 @ 10:26 PM

Batch^Master

10-11-2005, 12:23 PM

quote:Wait, I thought Nic Cage didn't get the role as Superman in the new movie.  No No, you got it all wrong he was trying for a role in Stuperman,,... 

"Oh you do'nt have to worry about me,,I won a contest...."

Alice S. Fuzzybutt

10-11-2005, 03:13 PM

Poet, Pilot, Apple, Scout and Rumor. Rachel Griffiths from Six Feet Under named her son Banjo. 

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Death Metal Moe

10-11-2005, 03:22 PM

If he went crazy, would Nick still call him Superman?

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Batch^Master

10-11-2005, 03:42 PM

quote: quote:Poet, Pilot, Apple, Scout and Rumor.  Rachel Griffiths from Six Feet Under named her son Banjo.   Do'nt forget Blanket !<img width="315" height="180" border="0" src="http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38493000/jpg/_38493709_jackson_child_300reu.jpg" />  fkn' creepy... 

"Oh you do'nt have to worry about me,,I won a contest...."

tele7

10-11-2005, 07:01 PM

A stupid hottie Asian wife.....time to look into this whole retarded thing..At least the Valley Girl soundtrack was good

Judge Smails

10-17-2005, 05:40 AM

Dont let Nic Cage hear about this:<a href="http://www.zod2008.com/index.htm">http://www.zod2008.com/index.htm</a> 

"It's easy to grin, when your ship comes in, and you've got the stock market beat. But the man worthwhile, is the man who can smile, when his shorts are too tight in the seat."

Johnny4

10-17-2005, 06:09 AM

If I have another kid I'm naming him Zod or Doomsday and
making him kick Nick Cage's kids ass.  Or I could name him Lex and
guarantee bald jokes. 


For example: Kindest Regards, Your Name

Sheeplovr

10-17-2005, 07:44 AM

Kal-el is a solid name it like if you named you kid Jesus i don't get it everyone says kids with weird names get made fun of but they don't its fucking 2005 kids are not as dumb as they were they grow up with weird names so its all normal if the kid just sucks he'll get made fun of but thats it names don't matter especially a awesome name like Kal-el 

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Death Metal Moe

10-17-2005, 08:06 AM

Umm, no.  Kids suck and they'll latch onto any little problem or difference between them and you.This kid will get made fun of forever.

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DTN

Batch^Master

10-21-2005, 06:09 PM

quote:Umm, no. Kids suck and they'll latch onto any little problem or difference between them and you.This kid will get made fun of forever. 
 I agree, then again
just telling the other children who his dad is will get his ass kicked
every day...After the first few years of school he will just start to
tell them his dad drives a garbage truck.. :) 

"Oh you do'nt have to worry about me,,I won a contest...."

Death Metal Moe

10-21-2005, 06:20 PM

He can tell his friends who his dad is when he's that old.How long do you think a hack like Nick Cage can stay famous for?

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Furtherman

10-15-2010, 11:53 AM

<div><object width="576" height="324"><param name="movie" value="http://d.yimg.com/nl/movies/site/player.swf"></param><param name="flashVars" value="vid=22444680&"></param><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed width="576" height="324" allowFullScreen="true" src="http://d.yimg.com/nl/movies/site/player.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" flashvars="vid=22444680&"></embed></object></div>

The official synopsis:

Milton, a hardened felon has broken out of hell for one last chance at redemption. Intent on stopping a vicious cult who murdered his daughter, he has three days to stop them before they sacrifice her baby beneath a full moon. He’s joined by Piper – a young, sexy waitress who liberates her ex-boyfriend’s cherry-red muscle car in order to help Milton. Now, the two of them are hot on the trail of the deadly leader of the cult, Jonah King, who believes it is his destiny to use the baby to unleash hell on earth. But the bloodthirsty cult is the least of Milton’s problems. The police are after him too. And worse, an enigmatic killer known only as “The Accountant” – who has been sent by the Devil to retrieve Milton and deliver him back to hell. With wicked cunning and hypnotic savagery, the Accountant will relentlessly pursue Milton at high speed across the country until his mission is accomplished. Fueled by high octane and pure rage, Milton must use his anger to go beyond all human limits to avenge his daughter’s murder, before his last chance at redemption is revoked.

Holy shit. Right now there is some screenwriter spending the money he made for this and he's gotta be thinking "Holy shit. They bought it."

Alice S. Fuzzybutt

10-15-2010, 07:16 PM

He's also an awful actor.

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I admit, I was in love with him when Valley Girl came out.

Chigworthy

10-16-2010, 05:47 AM

KnoxHarrington

10-16-2010, 06:40 AM

CaptainBlowhole

10-16-2010, 07:51 AM

http://cheezcomixed.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/e8ac67bf-b7ff-4e05-ae8a-643170a7a700.jpg

Serpico1103

10-19-2010, 10:21 PM

I checked out "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans" a couple of days back.

It was pretty much what you'd expect a movie starring one of Hollywood's craziest actors directed by one of the craziest directors out there to be like. I don't know if they were actually trying to be funny, but I laughed my ass off throughout most of it.

Holy Shit. How does this get released? Every single scene was an inane piece of shit.
What the fuck was the iguana and alligator cam? His bookie flashing the 10K in the precinct, his extortion victim stopping by the precinct to tell Cage, in front of everyone, not worry about the missing gumbas, the lead investigator (Cage) on the case gets his gun taken away because he tried to kill a Congressman's gma and is extorting the son of someone with major political connections, but a crack pipe, that he planted, gets Xzhibit and his posse convicted?
It lost me as soon as I was supposed to belief that a cop got a back injury on the job and didn't retire on 3/4.
Cages acting sucked, but he was a small part of the problem.

Furtherman

11-22-2010, 12:23 PM

Gutter

11-22-2010, 12:40 PM

wow thats awesome.....nothing from The Rock though huh?

"Lets cut the chit chat a-hole!"

or

"But how, in the name of Zeus' BUTTHOLE!... did you get out of your cell? I only ask because in our current situation, well, it could prove to be useful information. *Maybe*! "

would've been welcome additions haha

torker

11-22-2010, 05:23 PM

http://planetofthenerds.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/bad_lieutenant_4-3.jpg
His features are a distraction at this point and take me out of the film

Barnaby Jones

11-22-2010, 05:42 PM

Deadfall is the shiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!

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