curtoid
10-05-2005, 01:13 PM
<p><img height="211" src="http://www.phoenix5.org/humor/images/ACBaseball.jpg" width="198" border="0" /></p><p>Harry Bottoms: Well Ron, I'm going to New York with you. You know<br />Bookie Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as<br />long as you're on the team.<br /><br />Ron: Look Harry Bottoms, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.<br />Harry Bottoms: I certainly do.<br /><br />Ron: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me<br />their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to<br />me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.<br /><br />Ron: You mean funny names?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...<br /><br />Ron: His brother Daffy.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Daffy Dean...<br /><br />Ron: And their French cousin.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: French?<br /><br />Ron: Goofè.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's<br />on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...<br /><br />Ron: That's what I want to find out.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.<br /><br />Ron: Are you the manager?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Yes.<br /><br />Ron: You gonna be the coach too?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Yes.<br /><br />Ron: And you don't know the fellows' names?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Well I should.<br /><br />Ron: Well then who's on first?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Yes.<br /><br />Ron: I mean the fellow's name.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Who.<br /><br />Ron: The guy on first.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Who.<br /><br />Ron: The first baseman.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Who.<br /><br />Ron: The guy playing...<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Who is on first!<br /><br />Ron: I'm asking YOU who's on first.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: That's the man's name.<br /><br />Ron: That's who's name?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Yes.<br /><br />Ron: Well go ahead and tell me.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: That's it.<br /><br />Ron: That's who?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Yes.</p><p>Fez: Excuse me...I'm new to town. Do either of you know how to get to FAO Schwartz?<br /><br />Ron: Look, you gotta first baseman?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Certainly.<br /><br />Ron: Who's playing first?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: That's right.<br /><br />Ron: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Every dollar of it.<br /><br />Ron: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Who.<br /><br />Ron: The guy that gets...<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: That's it.<br /><br />Ron: Who gets the money...<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and<br />collects it.<br /><br />Ron: Whose wife?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Yes.<br /><br />Fez: Um, hello...do either of you know where FAO Schwarz is? You know...the toy store?</p><p>Harry Bottoms: What's wrong with that?<br /><br />Ron: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he<br />sign his name?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Who.<br /><br />Ron: The guy.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Who.<br /><br />Ron: How does he sign...<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: That's how he signs it.<br /><br />Ron: Who?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Yes.<br /><br />Fez: The toy store in "Big"...remember? It is pretty famous, right? Don't tell me they closed it down!<br /><br />Ron: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: No. What is on second base.<br /><br />Ron: I'm not asking you who's on second.<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Who's on first.<br /><br />Ron: One base at a time!<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Well, don't change the players around.<br /><br />Ron: I'm not changing nobody!<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: Take it easy, buddy.<br /><br />Ron: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?<br /><br />Harry Bottoms: That's right.<br /><br />Ron: Ok.<br /><br