Worst pain ever [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

shodan

10-12-2005, 09:27 PM

I am a new poster , been listening to Ron/Fez since they first came to WNEW, so hello to everybody. In the spirit of today's show the worst pain I ever felt, was when I was sparring in the dojo where I practice. I did a round kick and my opponent blocked my shin with his elbow. Broke a chunk of bone off my leg and ruptured the muscle. That's sure to make Earl run away.

Snoogans

10-12-2005, 09:38 PM

Id have to say when i broke my tailbone and bruised my kidneys. All i could do was lay on my stomach for a week 

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PapaBear

10-12-2005, 09:52 PM

Back in 1999, I broke 3 ribs. Two days later I got busted for DUI. While I was in the holding cell, I got the "drunk hiccups". Hiccups, sneezing, or coughing while you have broken ribs = unbelievable pain. For the next several hours, my time in the cell consisted of "Hic... Ughh...  Hic... Ughh... Hic...  Ughh...).Other than that, the most pain I've experienced was in 1988. I had to do several 5 mile runs (over the course of a week) in boot camp, with a spiral fracture in my right fibula bone.

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SilentSpic

10-12-2005, 09:53 PM

Worst pain everSex with a negro. 

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Snoogans

10-12-2005, 10:09 PM

He said you liked it SS 

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WhistlePig

10-12-2005, 10:41 PM

Shingles! I had to wear loose hippy dresses for 2 months because nothing could touch my skin. It was awful! The virus also triggered hideous back spasms. I guess the only good thing was that it affected the nerve in my lower back and not the nerve in my face like poor David Letterman. I can't imagine how horrible that must have been.
I remember reading about shingles in a symptoms book years before I got it and thinking it sounded like the worst thing in the whole book to get. Figures I got it.

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IrishAlkey

10-12-2005, 10:49 PM

All i could do was lay on my stomach for a week I'm hard.

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DanielSan

10-13-2005, 12:50 AM

MAN I HAVENT LISTEND TO THE boys in 2 days damn! anyways i never broken a bone im lucky, i couldnt imagine the pain

JohnnyCash

10-13-2005, 01:07 AM

Heartbreak.

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Skellington

10-13-2005, 04:53 AM

Motorcycle (i was doing the bloody speed limit!) + Ford Excusion merging on to =  gravel burnFor 3 weeks they were picking rocks out of my thigh.  

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j3lehane

10-13-2005, 05:24 AM

I can't see myself as a HUMAN ERASER,so I just drive a car. Wah Wah Wah Wah

bobrobot

10-13-2005, 05:34 AM

I was thinking, human skidmark...ewww...(not to be confused w/ "Hunan Skidmark," an excellent local drive thru Chinese Restaurant)The part about picking out gravel sounded hot tho...

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rumplestiltskin

10-13-2005, 06:05 AM

Scrotal hernia, April, 2004 - I was feeling stomach cramps and I thought I was having a bout of diarrhea.  I sat on the toilet and attempted to have a movement, and felt a ripping sensation in the taint area, followed by what felt like water on my sack.  I looked down between my legs, and my sack looked like a cantaloupe with giant bulging veins on it, and I was blinded by pain that felt like all my guts were falling out.   Holding my “cantaloupe” in one hand and using my other hand to balance, I crawled to the next room and dialed 911.  All I could say was “abdominal pain, abdominal pain” and I really couldn’t make sense of what the operator was saying.  The pain was so intense that the operator sounded like she was on another planet, speaking a foreign language.   I started sweating so profusely that my clothes looked like I’d been hit with a fire hose, and then I started to get chills.  I took off my shirt, still holding my cantaloupe with one hand, and grabbed the afghan off the back of the sofa and but it over my shoulders.   When the ambulance crew arrived they asked me what was wrong, and I sat back a little, pulled back the afghan and showed them my sack.  Both crew members were male, and both said “Holy Sh*t!” simultaneously.   The crew members radioed to the hospital and, after asking me if I was allergic to anything,  immediately started an IV.  One of the crew said “Hold on, we’re gonna pump you up with the strongest pain killer we have, and if that’s not enough, just say so and we’ll hit you again.”    They brought me to the ambulance sitting up on the stretcher because I couldn’t lie back, and we were lights and sirens in.  As we were driving in, and I was as stabilized as I was going to be, I noticed that the attending crew member had watery eyes, and was apologizing, saying, “Sorry, man, I’m getting a little choked up seeing a guys sack in that condition, hang in there, and we’ll get you fixed up asap.”   At the hospital, the scene repeated itself several times.  A heath care practitioner would come to my gurney, ask me what was wrong, lift the sheet, and go into full emergency mode.  First, the ER nurse, then the surgeon, each reassuring me that more pain killer was on the way and emergency surgery was imminent. I had xrays, then more pain killer, CAT scan, more pain killer, surgery prep, more pain killer, and finally, blessed anesthesia.   I woke up with a suture from my hip to my crotch, and the surgeon explained that I had a “spectacular” scrotal hernia.  I had a congenital defect in the muscle wall that holds colon in place, and had torn the muscle wall, either by strain, or just because it was weak and chose that moment to fail.  About 6 inches of my large intestine had dropped down into my sack, and pushed my balls to the bottom, stretching everything totally out of shape.    The surgeon had to go in through my abdomen, reach down to my taint from the inside and pull the six inches of large intestine that had dropped into my sack back up and put it where it belonged, then stitch my left ball to the inside of my taint so it wouldn’t flop around in my stretched out sack, then stitch up my taint from the inside, and finally stitch up my abdomen from the outside.    Next, in comes nurse Ratchet whose job it is to get me up and walking asap.  She threatened me with a catheter, and so, it I was on my feet four hours after being stitched up. They gave me a bag of oxycontin, told me to take two every four hours for the first week and walk around my apartment for 15 minutes every two hour

MilkmanDann

10-13-2005, 12:19 PM

Hmm... nothing!15 years of basketball, football (well that one until done HS), etc etc. been lucky enough never to get hurt. *knock on wood. Heartbreaks a good one though, think surpasses any physical pain.

torker

10-13-2005, 12:28 PM

leg cramp 

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Mike Teacher

10-13-2005, 01:08 PM

sniffles

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East Side Dave

10-13-2005, 01:11 PM

I fell into a pool table and cracked two teeth.

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newport king

10-13-2005, 01:31 PM

putting up a wire across a street, old man hits coworker stopping traffic, wire gets caught on front of his car, tension pulls and breaks my thumb off. they reattached it but my thumbnail looks like the work of the devil. and the plate freezes in the cold weather. (i was more pissed off at the time and just wanted a cigarette.)when i was a kid i was running around in a park, slammed my face into the wooden part of the slide and my tooth came through my lip.

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East Side Dave

10-13-2005, 01:32 PM

Also, my brother ran over my foot with the car. 

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grlNIN

10-13-2005, 01:53 PM

Tried cutting a lemon with a butterknife when i was five. I
missed and sliced into my middlefinger down to the bone, passed out
right on the kitchen floor from the pain. Then in the hospital when
they were stitching the muscles and nerves back together. 


 
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shodan

10-13-2005, 02:55 PM

I was going to also mention tearing a ligament in my lower back, or having my whole spine tattooed in one sitting (childbirth can't be MUCH more painful than that) but after your hernia post, I think need therapy.

mothershucker

10-13-2005, 03:19 PM

I have torn the ACL's in both knees, it sucks.

I shucked it, and I shucked it, and I shucked it, i'm quite the mother shucker

Yosammity

10-13-2005, 03:25 PM

quote: Scrotal hernia, April, 2004 - I was feeling stomach cramps and I thought I was having a bout of diarrhea.  I sat on the toilet and attempted to have a movement, and felt a ripping sensation in the taint area, followed by what felt like water on my sack.  I looked down between my legs, and my sack looked like a cantaloupe with giant bulging veins on it, and I was blinded by pain that felt like all my guts were falling out.   No one's gonna beat this story!

<html>
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j3lehane

10-13-2005, 04:01 PM

Oh you all are just sissy W H I N E R S......try ice skating,and your
feet slide 90 degrees forward when you hit a bump in the ice,out in the
woods a mile from home.You know the sound of a BASKETBALL bouncing? How
many times would you say your head bounces if the weight of your entire
body falls on the back of your head between the ears,let's say?You've
had a concussion before,right? No blood...nobody knows there's anything
wrong with you.You feel throbbing pain and hate to move at all....for
weeks.

FUNKMAN

10-13-2005, 05:38 PM

at least for the short term, badly sprained ankle... coming off somebodies foot playing basketball   ankle swells to the size of a softballpapercut on your eyeball

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torker

10-13-2005, 05:46 PM

papercut on your eyeballI'm not reading your posts anymore.

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Knowledged_one

10-13-2005, 05:48 PM

Had ACL replacement surgery, one week after surgery, my crutch slipped off a stair and said leg went crashing into the step, it was the worst pain i have ever had, it felt like a firebomb went off in my leg, luckily i didn't do any further damage.  But my leg felt like fire for 2 days after.  Luckily Percocets every 4 hours had me nice and doped, but then i got the percocet itch and that just drives you crazy

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milliehatchett

10-14-2005, 11:20 AM

Sir, I believe we have a winner.....Scrotal Hernia???? Holy CRAP! I have no nuts and yet I'm having sympathy pains.

This message was edited by milliehatchett on 10-14-05 @ 3:21 PM

Doctor Manhattan

10-14-2005, 11:22 AM

"Hey Earl, he was banging a fat chick and he broke his Dick!"

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mikeyboy

10-14-2005, 11:28 AM

quote: quote: Scrotal hernia, April, 2004 - I was feeling stomach cramps and I thought I was having a bout of diarrhea.  I sat on the toilet and attempted to have a movement, and felt a ripping sensation in the taint area, followed by what felt like water on my sack.  I looked down between my legs, and my sack looked like a cantaloupe with giant bulging veins on it, and I was blinded by pain that felt like all my guts were falling out.   No one's gonna beat this story! Yosammity I agree.  My toes were curled the entire time I was reading that story. 

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JPMNICK

10-14-2005, 11:30 AM

quote: I fell into a pool table and cracked two teeth. as a kid or as an adult. I think acidents are much easier to deal with as long as you are 7 or younger.

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Jennitalia

10-14-2005, 11:30 AM

i had a loop electrosurgical excision procedure which was awful, and then cyrotherapy, which was very uncomfortable.Breaking my foot was pretty bad. Dislocating my shoulder was the worst.

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bubbawadd

10-14-2005, 11:33 AM

Def. kidney stones.....I've had them twice, once for a month.  Pissing blood all the time.  Sucked major ass.

mendyweiss

10-14-2005, 11:50 AM

Got bit by a copperhead when I was 12. Felt like someone hammering my finger every 12 seconds!

I say sweeping the pockets of the Dutchman was not Mob business!

EffMeBoobs

10-14-2005, 12:55 PM

Herniated disc L4-L5 in my back, with the shooting sciatica nerve pain
down my leg.  My leg was numb and painful at the same time. 
You could have stabbed it with a knife and I wouldn't have known it. 

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j3lehane

10-14-2005, 02:39 PM

Scrotal Hernia wins.Do we have a Prize in the Big Ass Prize closet? :)

Snoogans

10-14-2005, 04:58 PM

I have torn the ACL's in both knees, it sucks. not completely on topic, butA
friend of mine was playin basketball on this court at CP park in
mahwah. He went to cut around the foul line and blew out his left ACL.
About 2 years later, we are playing basketball on the same court. Same
end, my friend goes to cut right around the foul line in the opposite
direction, and blows out his right ACL. Same move and everything,
fuckin creepy. To this day I can still hear him yelling "Not again"
over and over as he basically saw his college football playing go out
the window 

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Snoogans

10-14-2005, 04:59 PM

Sir, I believe we have a winner.....Scrotal Hernia???? I had an inguinal hernia, wasnt shit compared to a broken tailbone and bruised kidneys 

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mikeyboy

10-14-2005, 06:27 PM

quote:  quote: Sir, I believe we have a winner.....Scrotal Hernia????   I had an inguinal hernia, wasnt shit compared to a broken tailbone and bruised kidneys   Did you read the story about it on page 1?  I'll take the tailbone and kidneys over that any day. 

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Snoogans

10-14-2005, 06:42 PM

no i didnt read that, and i wanna puke now. That doesnt sound like a
hernia, that sounds like some ridiculous punishment from god 

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curtoid

10-14-2005, 07:44 PM

Anything "scrotal" is a winner in my book.I know there are worse, and I know I've hard worse, but this year I've twice experienced the kind of pain where you forget what life was like before pain - the first was feet full of bursted, bloodied, infected blisters that had me walking like Fred Sanford for a month (also had me quitting Fez's 5 K race with a block left) - and the most recent was a cracked filling that I couldn't get fixed because I was switching insurance companies. I couldn't sleep, eat, work or drive without thinking about my mouth.Off topic, but I was reminded...when I was a kid I was cutting through someone's yard going to the pool with a friend, and was chased over a fence - I slipped at the top, fell backwards, and my leg was sliced open and impaled on it, and was hanging backwards, my head not even hitting the ground. From that vantage point I could look right up into my leg, as blood and goo poured out. It freaked me out (duh!), but didn't hurt. In fact, I was kind of dumb struck with images from the Fulci flesh eating film "Zombie" which I had just seen the week before. Nasty-ass scar, though. As it turned out the people chasing me were parents of a girl who I went to Junior High with,and they got me off the fence and called to have me go to the emergency room. I was screaming like a big old sissy who knew he was about ready to loose a leg.

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j3lehane

10-14-2005, 09:23 PM

Can we call you Curtis?

shodan

10-14-2005, 10:12 PM

" Herniated disc L4-L5 in my back, with the shooting sciatica nerve pain
down my leg.ÿ My leg was numb and painful at the same time.ÿ
You could have stabbed it with a knife and I wouldn't have known it."

<img src=http://hometown.aol.com/lqqieee/effmenew.gif><hr color="cococo" align="left">[/quote] Begin your response here...

I feel for you. My wife has Spondylolistheis; basically the lamina in her spine broke off the rest of her spine, compressing her spinal cord and sciatic nerve. Had to have disc removed, a bone implant and full instrumental fusion at 2 levels. She's doing better now, some pain though. I seriously hope you back is doing better.



This message was edited by shodan on 10-15-05 @ 2:14 AM

Melrapuo

10-14-2005, 10:54 PM

When I was 15 or 16, I jumped awkwardly and my knee landed square into my jaw, chipping 5 teeth.  What was worse was that for some reason I can't remember, I couldn't get them fixed for another week, so I had to live with this horrible sensitivity to practically everything until then.And only last summer, I was playing street football with some friends.  I went for a catch, lost control while running, and smashed my face into a parked car.  Rammed just above my two front teeth.  Luckily it was high enough so that my teeth didn't get knocked out, but it still hurt like heck.Neither of these are "cantaloupe sack", but they're the worst pain I've ever felt.

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Bill From Yorktown

10-14-2005, 11:55 PM

blood clot in leg - didnt know about it - broke loose - lodged in both lungs - felt tight in chest and searing pain across back and left side - thought I was having a heart attack - 24 hours of agony.  Worst pain EVER.  Worse than deep knife cut in fingertip.  Worse than crushing my right thumb.   oh yea and almost died from it.  great stuff.

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rumplestiltskin

10-16-2005, 07:21 PM

Not a worst pain, but a funny one:Ever do a "head rattle?"That's where you are working on, or looking inside, something that's almost exactly the same size as your head.  In my case, it's a weird little cupboard in the corner of the kitchen in my rat hole apartment.  This cupboard is about 12" square, but it goes waaaaay back, like almost 3 feet.  I knocked a jar of peanut butter all the way to the back of the sucker, and the only way I could reach it was to stick my arm all the way in, then stick my shoulder and head in to get the 'reach' I needed.  Just as I felt the jar with my fingertips, I bumped my nose on the bottom of the cupboard.  I instinctively raised my head up, and bumped the back of my head on the shelf above.  I reflexively brought my head down, and hit my nose again, a little harder this time, which made me raise my head up again, faster, which made me bump the back of my head harder, which made me jerk my head down, smashing my nose really hard, making me jerk my head up, and I finally turned my head and came down on my ear, which hurt, but for some reason doesn't cause the same reflex jerking as bumping my nose.  Jesus, what a fool!     There's no such thing as television

This message was edited by rumplestiltskin on 10-17-05 @ 12:33 AM

Coach

10-17-2005, 01:16 AM

(Didn't happen to me) Saw a guy hit in the nuts with a lax ball going 90+ mph. Cup cracked, nuts swelled to size of grapefruits.

If I wanted to hear you moan, I would've Fucked You!

Lumber

10-17-2005, 02:31 AM

2 Broken Collar bones

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Tall_James

10-17-2005, 05:34 AM

One time, about 15 years ago, I went "commando" at work one day because I hadn't done laundry for a while.  After peeing, I accidently zippered my scrotum into the teeth of the zipper of my pants.That wasn't the REALLY painful part.  That was when I unzippered it.  I nearly collapsed from the pain.

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Tall_James

10-17-2005, 05:38 AM

Just thought of another one.  Drunken night in college trying to make Ramen Noodles at 3 am.  Electric stove.  "Hey - this stove doesn't look like it's working.  Let me just put my hand on the coils to see if they're hot yet."It was like that scene in Raiders Of The Lost Ark when the Nazi villian finds the headpiece of the staff of Ra in the snow outside of the burning bar.  But I didn't have the snowdrift to stick my hand in to cool it off.I had the rings of the stove top on my hand for 2 weeks.OUCH!  

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