What does third base feel like? [Archive]

Justice4all

11-09-2005, 06:00 AM

It feels like 1st and second base. Havn't you EVER played softball or baseball?quote:  warm apple pie warm apple pie   Great quote!!!

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Dirtybird12

11-09-2005, 06:06 AM

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Death Metal Moe

11-09-2005, 06:13 AM

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Yosammity

11-09-2005, 06:24 AM

It feels like you've lost your soul -- your very sense of self...  And yet you'll never want to leave.At least that's what Mike Schmidt would say.

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mendyweiss

11-09-2005, 06:25 AM

<img height="108" src="http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:cAKU6FfqNTUJ:www.equinenet.org/heroes/ednpals2.gif" width="69" border="0" />Sort of like hand feeding oats to a horse. no?

I say sweeping the pockets of the Dutchman was not Mob business!

torker

11-09-2005, 07:38 AM

It feels like....victory

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[i][center]Take my soul to the lost & found[center][i]

The Jays

11-09-2005, 07:50 AM

I also hope to ask what third base smells, sounds, tastes, and looks like. 

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Jennitalia

11-09-2005, 07:55 AM

a nice one will smell like a woman in love.

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The Jays

11-09-2005, 08:11 AM

I talked to Mike Schmidt via e-mail, that is, electronic mail, for
those of you new to the whole computer internet thing.  Here was
what I got as my reply to the question, What does third base feel like? Dear TheJays,Thank
you for your inquiry.  I find it fascinating and alluring that
someone might pose a simple question such as yours, and merely await
the answer.Well TheJays, to answer your question, third base is
usually firm, though I don't spend that much time touching third. 
See,  the man playing third base has to fufill a number of
responsibilities, depending on the defensive alignments that apply to
the player at the plate. You gotta protect that third base only when
you got another guy gunning for it, and you don't want to get in that
position.  You know why?  Because he's already gonna have
gotten to first and second, and when he comes gunning for you, he might
already be safe with his double, but someone might squeeze a bunt, and
before you know it, the other guy's got your third base!  And he's
gonna try and score from that point on.  There's a reason why
second and third are considered scoring position, because you can get
the run on a double.  So, if you're gonna be playing third, you
gotta do you best to make the other guy strike out, and if he don't,
you gotta punch him in the face before he kisses your girl, or else
everyone's gonna call you a pussy. Sincerely,Mike Schmidt 


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FUNKMAN

11-09-2005, 08:45 AM

squooshy

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blakjeezis

11-09-2005, 09:28 AM

And this is, generally, what it sounds like.<a href="http://www.sound-effect.com/sounds/human/7scream.wav">Women LOVE me</a><img src="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=blakjeezis" border="0" /> If I were any better, I'd have to be twins!! INRI White people are so scared of blakjeezis INRI"Well, maybe there's a god above, but all I ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you." "God takes care of old folks and fools, while the Devil takes care of makin' all the rules."

This message was edited by blakjeezis on 11-9-05 @ 1:32 PM

Mike Teacher

11-09-2005, 01:48 PM

Third bases shall be marked by white canvas bags, securely attached to the ground. The third base bags shall be entirely within the infield. The bags shall be 15 inches square, not less than three nor more than five inches thick, and filled with soft material. The distance between first base and third base is 127 feet, 3 3/8 inches. =I dont recall the distance being that far, but hey, things change. I'm afraid to ask what the 'soft material' is...

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TheMojoPin

11-09-2005, 01:54 PM

I'm so confused as to what "third base" is.  In the sexual realm, I always thought 1st was making out, 2nd was petting/fingering/handjobs/whatever's clever, 3rd was oral and then a home run was knocking it out.  But then I've heard other versions...which one is the "unofficial official" lineup?Oh, and this thread gets the gas face.

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Dancing with the women at the bar... << He knows his Claret from his Beaujolais >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."</center>

Bulldogcakes

11-09-2005, 02:06 PM

It smells like teen spirit. 

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Bama

11-09-2005, 02:19 PM

quote:Ask Mike Schmidt. 

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This message was edited by Bama on 11-9-05 @ 6:19 PM

bobrobot

11-09-2005, 03:05 PM

like inseminating a cow, and feel free to go in right up to the shoulder...<img title="3rd base" height="150" alt="3rd base" src="http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/images/827219706" width="246" border="0" />

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BeerBandit

11-09-2005, 03:10 PM

Like my sister. 

Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Albert Einstein

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torker

11-09-2005, 03:34 PM

Oh, and this thread gets the gas face.I took half an hour for it to sink in, but then I laughed.

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[i][center]Take my soul to the lost & found[center][i]

BeerBandit

11-09-2005, 06:28 PM

You don't want to know brother.  It is a dark and evil place and touching it makes baby Jesus cry. 

Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Albert Einstein

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torker

11-09-2005, 06:36 PM

I remember wondering what home plate felt like.  Let's just say that's one jelly jar I shouldn't have put back in the fridge.

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BeerBandit

11-09-2005, 06:43 PM

Grape or Strawberry? 

Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Albert Einstein

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torker

11-09-2005, 06:45 PM

<img height="150" src="http://www.homegrocer.com/images/products/welchs-grape-jelly.jpg" width="150" border="0" />

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[i][center]Take my soul to the lost & found[center][i]

BeerBandit

11-09-2005, 06:46 PM

I'd have to say, a chunky strawberry would be intriguing. 

Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Albert Einstein

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kevcala

11-09-2005, 06:55 PM

quote:I remember wondering what home plate felt like. Let's just say that's one jelly jar I shouldn't have put back in the fridge.

 

 <img width="188" height="250" border="0" src="http://www.cynsa.com/butt/april/smjarxray.jpg" />  ?  <a href="http://www.well.com/www/cynsa/newbutt.html" target="_self">funny stuff</a> 

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Snoogans

11-09-2005, 07:04 PM

who knows what 3rd base feels like cause once you round second, people
dont commonly stop at third. Its like Dale Svuem is coachin now a days 

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ShelleBink

11-09-2005, 07:23 PM

I skip the whole baseball stuff and just fuck.  What is wrong with you people?

NickyL0885

11-09-2005, 07:52 PM

3rd base eh? in sexual terms, i've never been there. Now, in music
terms, the band 3rd Base sucked. they sang that song "Pop goes the
weezel", a parody about vanilla ice. Why i ever downloaded it, i dunno
why 

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The Jays

11-09-2005, 08:00 PM

I remember the Pop Goes the Weasel song. It really made me feel
positive about not having to like Vanilla Ice anymore.  There was
that period of time where, c'mon, you just had to love Vanilla
Ice.  But then the time had passed, and there was Third Base,
ushering us into a new age, the gatekeepers of a forgotten past whose
names we'll never remember for anything else but some diss song about a
commercial pop product.  

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East Side Dave

11-10-2005, 06:15 AM

About that grape jelly post, if you simulate third base with it, don't microwave it 'cause I did once and burned my fingers to a crisp!! <img src="http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif" border="0" /> Click <a href="http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml" target="blank">this link </a>to hear my show on 90.5 The Night FM; Friday and Saturday Night: Midnight to 5 AM you bastards! my journal- http://journals.aol.com/didvod/DaveysJournalTime/

This message was edited by East Side Dave on 11-10-05 @ 1:27 PM

torker

11-10-2005, 09:04 AM

quote: I remember wondering what home plate felt like. Let's just say that's one jelly jar I shouldn't have put back in the fridge.  <img height="250" src="http://www.cynsa.com/butt/april/smjarxray.jpg" width="188" border="0" />  ?I said home plate, not the dugout.  Silly goose.

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[i][center]Take my soul to the lost & found[center][i]

Bulldogcakes

11-10-2005, 05:02 PM

But then I've heard other versions...which one is the "unofficial official" lineup? Well, theres two. The new one and the old one.  Old meaning1st base- Kiss 
2nd base-feel her tits 
3rd base-Fingered her or a BJ 
HR-You got laid New meaning 1st-Blowjob2nd-You get laid 
3rd-Anal sex 
HR-She's bisexual and has a friend who wants a threesome 


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This message was edited by Bulldogcakes on 11-10-05 @ 9:04 PM

BeerBandit

11-10-2005, 05:47 PM

Let's face it, baseball is not America's sport anymore.  These days it's all about football.  AMERICAN football.Making Out - Solid running gameCop a Feel - Convert a 3rd and longOral - West Coast OffenseSwallow - Convert a 4th and long Intercourse -  TouchdownPullout - Field GoalPearl Necklace - 60 yard Field GoalAnal - Halfback Option TD Pass Menage A Trois - Hail Mary TD PassDiscovering a Tranny - Quarterback Sneak  

Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Albert Einstein

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TheMojoPin

11-10-2005, 08:40 PM

Yeah, hooking up with a chick is TOTALLY like tackling a bunch of sweaty guys wearing skintight pants.

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Dancing with the women at the bar... << He knows his Claret from his Beaujolais >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."</center>

torker

11-10-2005, 08:43 PM

Yeah, hooking up with a chick is TOTALLY like tackling a bunch of sweaty guys wearing skintight pants. Only if you're doing it right.

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[i][center]Take my soul to the lost & found[center][i]

JamMaster

11-10-2005, 11:26 PM

Ask this guy<img src="http://www.midkota.k12.nd.us/highschool/sports/images/baseball/alexstate.jpg" border="0" />or him<img height="233" src="http://www.rose-hulman.edu/sports/baseball/05regional/photos/08manadri/sealdive.jpg" width="350" border="0" />This has to be one of my weakest posts ever.  I'll quit while im ahead.

-------------------------------------------
Nice mob you got here....Wyatt Earp

BeerBandit

11-11-2005, 06:24 AM

quote: Yeah, hooking up with a chick is TOTALLY like tackling a bunch of sweaty guys wearing skintight pants. <img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=TheMojoPin" border="0" /> Dancing with the women at the bar... << He knows his Claret from his Beaujolais >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."Who said anything about a chick?

Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Albert Einstein

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JustJon

11-11-2005, 09:06 AM

quote:3rd base eh? in sexual terms, i've never been there. Now, in music
terms, the band 3rd Base sucked. they sang that song "Pop goes the
weezel", a parody about vanilla ice. Why i ever downloaded it, i dunno
why 

 
After that, I think Third Base is gonna give you the Gas Face

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