I Had Cramps In Irvington... [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

View Full Version : I Had Cramps In Irvington...

DJEvelEd

11-24-2005, 07:27 PM

...because I just had spicy breasts at Popeyes™ after having sausage & cereal for breakfast. I also has lobster ravioli in pink sauce the night before. Anyway I was driving around in Irvington/Newark when I got the shit-cramps REAL bad. I was too far away from any decent facility so I didn't know what to do. I certainly would shit my pants in the next 2 minutes if I didn't think quick. Well I have a Ford Explorer so I have plenty of room in the back. I have tinted windows in the back also. I have a old coffee cup in the back too. Even NAPKINS! I get in the back seat, and position the cup directly around my bunghole and shit really nasty diarrhea into this small paper coffee cup. I finished after making the cup dangerously heavy and for the first time in my life I did NOT look at my shit because I was so disgusted with myself just holding this cup of hot diarrhea. It was really awful. I then put my shitty napkins in the cup and popped the lid back on. I put the cup on the curb.  I really had no choice so I did what I had to do.Hopefully someone will run it over or a homeless person will pick it up.I laugh now but I almost shit myself!

:) FLING :) :) FLING :) ........... :gasp: SPLATT :gasp: :gasp: SPLATT :gasp:
PUTTING THE FUNNY IN PRESENTLY SEEN DEPTHS
SPONSORED BY:"THE F’CESTOF C’SAR" BY ’SOP c464 B.C.
<img src="http://64.177.177.182/katylina/shockposters.jpg">

Kobe8

11-24-2005, 07:29 PM

Aside from the obvious repulsion I am feeling, I am actually quite impressed by your aim.

<img src=http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c62/kobe8sig/kobesig.jpg>

Kobe Beef Cows are fed a diet enriched with beer and massaged lovingly by attendants in Kobe, Hyogo, Japan.
If they throw in a happy ending, sign me up.

Death Metal Moe

11-24-2005, 07:34 PM

h

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=njdmmoe">

<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
<A HREF="http://thebigsexxxy.blogspot.com/">One Big SeXXXy Blog</A>
<A HREF="http://www.myspace.com/deathmetalmoe">Death Metal MySpace</A>

DTN

TheMojoPin

11-24-2005, 07:43 PM

Why would you think another human being would ever want to know this?

<center><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=TheMojoPin">
 
Dancing with the women at the bar... << He knows his Claret from his Beaujolais >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."</center>

Snoogans

11-24-2005, 07:51 PM

Mojo, I ask myself that everytime i open a thread he makes 

<center>
<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=Snoogans194"> GO SAWX!!!!! Hassan Eats Dick!!! Snoogans 1, Monitor 0 GIMMIE MY FUCKIN CHANGE, I AINT PLAYIN WIT YOU</center>

spoon

11-24-2005, 08:29 PM

Thanx, now I'm starving.

<img src="http://members.aol.com/dxixrxt/spoon2.jpg">

Get your balls out of your purse and step up to flavor!
With whale cancer!
F yeah!

tele7

11-24-2005, 08:31 PM

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for my cup and napkins.

A.J.

11-24-2005, 11:21 PM

"I.B.S." ::groan::<img height="200" src="http://images.zap2it.com/ltvimages/images/240/ladykillers_240_002.jpg" width="240" border="0" />

<img src=http://img40.photobucket.com/albums/v124/Canofsoup15/Sigs/AJinDC-Sig.jpg>

A Skidmark/canofsoup15 production.

Red Sox Nation

bobrobot

11-25-2005, 05:43 AM

Here's hoping Santa puts that cup of shame into your Christmas stocking, you animal!<img title="These Cramps ROCK!!!" height="430" alt="These Cramps ROCK!!!" src="http://members.tripod.com/el_tequila/images/Electric-Prunes/Cramps.jpg" width="318" border="0" />

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y46/bobogolem/linkWray.jpg

There'll be a RUMBLE in Heaven

torker

11-25-2005, 11:45 AM

Better coffee a millionaire's money can't buy.

[center]<IMG SRC=http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y201/torker1313/RFnettorker.jpg>[center]

[i][center]Have you seen Junior's grades?[center][i]

Death Metal Moe

11-25-2005, 12:10 PM

I know we all shit and we don't need to be prudes about talking about it.  But what does this thread achieve?  Did you think we were all going to talk about times we almost or did shit our own clothes?  Sorry.  None for me thanks.  Any accidents I may have had in my life are private moments that I'd rather forget.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=njdmmoe">

<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
<A HREF="http://thebigsexxxy.blogspot.com/">One Big SeXXXy Blog</A>
<A HREF="http://www.myspace.com/deathmetalmoe">Death Metal MySpace</A>

DTN

mdr55

11-25-2005, 12:25 PM

What? You're not going to tell us about the time you ran out of toilet
paper. Or how much you live Charmin TP cuz it's so soft. You post stuff
like that all the time.

LiquidCourage

11-27-2005, 12:27 PM

There was limitless pranks you could have pulled with that coffee cup.

DJEvelEd

11-28-2005, 02:31 AM

I will drive by today and report my findings. I hope to see shit all over the road. Hopefully with a few shoeprints. Hey Moe, don't be shit shy. You know you almost shit yourself at least twice. Tell your shitty story!!<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> FLING <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> FLING <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> ........... <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> SPLATT <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> SPLATT <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> PUTTING THE FUNNY IN PRESENTLY SEEN DEPTHS SPONSORED BY:"THE FÆCES™OF CÆSAR" BY ÆSOP ©464 B.C. <img src="http://64.177.177.182/katylina/shockposters.jpg" border="0" />

This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 11-28-05 @ 6:32 AM

Skellington

11-28-2005, 07:18 AM

......that is absolutely AMAZING you aimed it into...a coffee cup.  

<IMG SRC="http://photos.imageevent.com/kriegweasel/stupidshitforlj///halfmonkey3.jpeg">
<marquee>There's nothing duct-tape and a Sharpie can't fix......</marquee>

SatCam

11-28-2005, 12:50 PM

I almost shit myself that was so funny 

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig96_general_blacknwhite.jpg" align="right" alt="my sig about myself" title="SatCam is such a cool guy!!" />

[ X ][color=white]

DJEvelEd

11-30-2005, 02:43 PM

I drove by and saw the cup. It was covered in leaves yet still untouched. I guess the street cleaners don't go down to 18th ave unless they're buying crack/hookers.I gotta admit, this could be a funny thing to do as a group. Maybe we all can shit in cups and leave them in public places. We can take pictures and it will be great fun. The next homeless person that asks me for money at a traffic light, is getting a Cup O' Shit....and a quarter for his trouble

:) FLING :) :) FLING :) ........... :gasp: SPLATT :gasp: :gasp: SPLATT :gasp:
PUTTING THE FUNNY IN PRESENTLY SEEN DEPTHS
SPONSORED BY:"THE F’CESTOF C’SAR" BY ’SOP c464 B.C.
<img src="http://64.177.177.182/katylina/shockposters.jpg">

ShelleBink

11-30-2005, 03:43 PM

quote:I gotta admit, this could be a funny thing
to do as a group. Maybe we all can shit in cups and leave them in
public places. We can take pictures and it will be great fun. 
 No.

torker

11-30-2005, 04:06 PM

Can I get the zip code for this cup o' turds.  I want to put it on the RonFez.Net map.  Thanks in advance.

[center]<IMG SRC=http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y201/torker1313/torkpiss.jpg>[center]

[i][center]Deal with it, pink-boy[center][i]

FUNKMAN

11-30-2005, 04:11 PM

<img src="http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=austin+powers/v=2/SID=w/l=IVI/SIG=12ut4ld5j/EXP=1133485813/*-http%3A//www.faschingskostuem.com/pix/teeth/character/3000-austin-powers.jpg" border="0" />           it's a little nutty

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig_funkmanstill.jpg">

DJEvelEd

11-30-2005, 04:21 PM

07111 on the corner of Vermont and W.Grove Terrace. It's in the curb near the corner store if anyone wants to take a gander.  I'll go back again tomorrow but I really want to stop and kick it....not hard, I just wanna tap it so it falls over. BTW it's not a Cup O' Turds but rather a Cup 'O Diarrhea which is more grosser IMHO but both are acceptable.<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> FLING <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> FLING <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> ........... <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> SPLATT <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> SPLATT <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> PUTTING THE FUNNY IN PRESENTLY SEEN DEPTHS SPONSORED BY:"THE FÆCES™OF CÆSAR" BY ÆSOP ©464 B.C. <img src="http://64.177.177.182/katylina/shockposters.jpg" border="0" />

This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 11-30-05 @ 8:26 PM

Hottub

11-30-2005, 04:43 PM

Ed. You need to get a camera! Your crap stories only have so much life. We need pictures! "Don't you think black and white would just capture the mood?"

<img src="http://www.silentpix.com/hottub/sigs/rotate.php" align="right">
so does that mean that it was "THE ORANGE BOWL OF FAILURE?" Staples <a href="http://www.silentpix.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Myalbums&file=thumbnails&album=41" target="_blank">See The Cruising Vessel</a> Check out silentpix.com.

Death Metal Moe

11-30-2005, 05:02 PM

If the staff asked Ed to remove his animated turds sig pic, what makes you think they're gonna let him chronicle his fucking shit on the site?

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=njdmmoe">

<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
<A HREF="http://thebigsexxxy.blogspot.com/">One Big SeXXXy Blog</A>
<A HREF="http://www.myspace.com/deathmetalmoe">Death Metal MySpace</A>

DTN

TheMojoPin

11-30-2005, 05:10 PM

Now, now.  T'werent the turds...t'was the gaping anus that killed the beast.

<center><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=TheMojoPin">
 
Dancing with the women at the bar... << He knows his Claret from his Beaujolais >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."</center>

torker

11-30-2005, 05:28 PM

It's all about perspective.  In 55 million years this might mean something.  Dung shows dinosaurs ate grass Tue, 22 Nov 2005 Traces of grass found in <a href="http://cooltech.iafrica.com/science/596087.htm" target="_blank">fossilized dinosaur dung</a> proves that grass grew on Earth much earlier than previously thought and changes beliefs about dinosaurs' diets, a study showed. "This is food for thought, so to speak," researcher Caroline Stroemberg of the Swedish Museum of Natural History told AFP. Until now, scientists believed that grass first appeared on Earth some 55 million years ago, and that herbivorous dinosaurs grazed on other plants. But together with two Indian researchers, Stroemberg discovered evidence of grasses much earlier in the coprolites, or fossilized dung, of titanosaur sauropods, large, long-necked herbivorous dinosaurs. <img height="227" src="http://www.gene-sis.net/images/artwork_sm/dnaid4_miller.jpg" width="200" border="0" />

[center]<IMG SRC=http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y201/torker1313/torkpiss.jpg>[center]

[i][center]Deal with it, pink-boy[center][i]