Unhappiness [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

ShelleBink

03-01-2006, 05:57 PM

I'm putting myself out there, and just be kind. I suffer from depression.  Genetically, I kinda had a feeling I would eventually have a problem since my mom suffers from severe depression ((I remember her having numerous health problems as a result, including a heart attack)), my dad does, and my grandparents, etc.  Suicide runs in the family, and I already have attempted it myself ((Jan of '04)).  I take my meds, but still, I get in severe downward spirals in which I have feelings of awful hopelessness.  Recently, I've just been dwelling on how I haven't really been genuinely happy since I was probably 17.  I can actually draw the line to exactly when I started getting depressed -- when I was in my severely abusive relationship which I know I've alluded to numerous times.  I have moments of joy, and certainly on the outside, I have a great life -- my family is incredibly supportive of me, I have decent friends, a great boyfriend, and a scholarship to a pretty good university.  Why the fuck am I not able to enjoy this?  I'm not in therapy now, and haven't been since 2004.  The first time I went thourgh therapy when I was still in high school, the therapist was a shim ((not quite a she, not quite a him)) and I couldn't open up.  The therapist I had this time around was better, but was recently laid off because of the problems with UMDNJ.  And psychiatrists that I've dealt with are all useless.  I'm not really asking for advice or suggestions, I just needed to vent; a public message board probably isn't the best place, but it beats ending up somewhere worse.

Gvac

03-01-2006, 06:07 PM

I think mental illness is the most overlooked health problem in the
world today.  It still carries some kind of stigma, and that's
asinine.I know how tough it can be to deal with, Shelle.  I
dealt with depression in my own life and once had a relationship with a
girl who suffered from bipolar disorder.  It ain't easy.  The
only thing I can say is the medication does bring clarity (if you find
the right one and the right dosage) and when you find yourself clear
headed do some soul searching and self analysis.  Don't beat
yourself up for your shortcomings, but rather accept them and try to
better yourself a little more each day.  Best of luck to you.

FUNKMAN

03-01-2006, 06:10 PM

Shelle,I just hope you get the help/peace you seek/need and can find some level ground! You're a great fellow board member!Funk

booster11373

03-01-2006, 06:18 PM

This might not help, but just remeber that you are not alone. Just keep doing the things you know can help.

This message was edited by booster11373 on 3-1-06 @ 10:19 PM

sr71blackbird

03-01-2006, 06:23 PM

I have it too.  I know lots of people with some form of it or another as well.  I found a great help in that Lucinda Basset program, but Im also on some meds too.  I asked my Dr just last night about a very nerve racking problem Im going though and he told me something that I hadnt considered and it helped me quite a bit.  You should see your Dr about it.  Good luck!

sr71blackbird

03-01-2006, 06:27 PM

Keeping yourself busy and active physically is also a great help.  Do you do any walking?  It clears the mind and youll feel better right away, plus its good for your body!  Stay far away from drugs and alcohol too! 

ShelleBink

03-01-2006, 06:36 PM

sr71blackbird wrote: Keeping yourself busy and active physically is also a great help. Do you do any walking? It clears the mind and youll feel better right away, plus its good for your body! Stay far away from drugs and alcohol too!   It may come as a shock, but I haven't smoked pot in months, I don't do any other illegal drugs, and the last time I drank I think I had two Mike's Hard Lemonades... I'm wise enough to know that none of the answers are coming from the barrel of a gun or the bottom of any bottle.

legroommusic

03-01-2006, 07:11 PM

I went through a severe bout with depression a few years back. It happens. It's a lot like going to California where gas prices are high and you can't go anywhere to get cheaper gas because the next state is too far away and there's too much traffic. I don't know if anyone's experienced that shit. having no place to go. It's horrible.On the other hand, sometimes I like feeling that I don't have to be anywhere for a couple of days and I can watch Back to the future on TBS in a hotel room after taking a shower in a robe in california. That's the shit. I don't know if anyone can identify wih me.

Alice S. Fuzzybutt

03-01-2006, 07:15 PM

I've suffered from clinical depression since my early 20s. I've been on a myriad of meds: zoloft, prozac, celexa, effexor, paxil, lexapro, wellbutrin; none seem to really work. I haven't given up hope. Half of the battle is getting out of bed in the morning. If you can do that you've won half the battle. I remember taking a job in my 20s at a Chelsea store. At first I had Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays off. I'd isolate on my days off. Walking to the train to work was the hardest thing I could do on a bright Thursday morning, but I never regretted going to work. It got me out of my depression. I made life better for myself.I have a hard time getting our of bed now but I do it.

Snoogans

03-01-2006, 07:19 PM

I went through a severe bout with depression a
few years back. It happens. It's a lot like going to California where
gas prices are high and you can't go anywhere to get cheaper
gas because the next state is too far away and there's too much
traffic. I don't know if anyone's experienced that shit. having no
place to go. It's horrible.  not only did this make me crack up uncontrollably, but I know first hand it also made Shelle laugh pretty hard too.

Death Metal Moe

03-01-2006, 08:48 PM

I have no advice, but maybe the "Me Too" kinda talk helps.  I don't know.I don't think I am depressed but I went through "something" for a few years there.  I was down, not doing ANYTHING and just useless.  Very self loathing, very pathetic.  Not sure why it really stopped for the most part, but that's life when you can't afford therapy.  I probably would have went if I had coverage.

Greggie44

03-01-2006, 09:27 PM

I don't really buy into the prescription remedy for this type of thing.  I have a couple of family members going through it.  They only act on symptoms.  If you are given the right one in the right dosage, things may go good for a certain period of time.  Peronally, I think it gets down to making yourself get going, believe in things, exercise, and eat right.  I really don't have much faith in the medical/pharm industry in fighting this type of thing.  They want customers for life.  Good luck.  It seems like you have love around you.  Your posts make you sound like a really good person.  Enjoy every day.

Dirtybird12

03-01-2006, 09:55 PM

the only joy in my life is lying to my shrink. this dum fuck will buy into anything i say . what a sucker.

angrymissy

03-02-2006, 05:10 AM

The meds they put me on for my "depression" made me 10x worse and took months to get off of.  I think therapy works better than meds for depression.I never had ANY type of suicidal thoughts until I was on Paxil.  I'd be driving down the highway and nonchalantly think "what would happen if I just drove off the road?  I should just drive into that guardrail".  It went away after I finally got off the meds.

This message was edited by angrymissy on 3-2-06 @ 9:15 AM

cupcakelove

03-02-2006, 05:18 AM

Greggie44 wrote: I
don't really buy into the prescription remedy for this type of thing. I
have a couple of family members going through it. They only act on
symptoms. If you are given the right one in the right dosage, things
may go good for a certain period of time. Peronally, I think it gets
down to making yourself get going, believe in things, exercise, and eat
right. I really don't have much faith in the medical/pharm industry in
fighting this type of thing. They want customers for life. Good luck.
It seems like you have love around you. Your posts make you sound like
a really good person. Enjoy every day.
I went through something a few years ago and was diagnosed with
major depression.  I was prescribed some anti-depressants and went
through therapy.  I had some good doctors who pointed out to me
that the meds were only supposed to help with the symptoms while I took
steps in my life to get better.  They were never pitched as 'cure'
for the depression.  I think too many people out there try to use
them as the final solution to their problems and thats were the
negative few of the drugs come from.  I do have to say the meds
really helped me a lot and let me concentrate on fixing the problems in
my life instead of just feeling like shit all the time.

mendyweiss

03-02-2006, 05:26 AM

George Carlin once wrote " You live for about 80 years, and 6 minutes are pure magic". Life can be pretty mundane and overwhelming. Good friends seems to be the one constant in a crazy world. I think if you have some friends, they can really help during the down times.

Sheeplovr

03-02-2006, 05:27 AM

maybe you just need more Protein and Fiber

TheRealEddie

03-02-2006, 05:45 AM

CircusFreak wrote: the only joy in my life is lying to my shrink. this dum fuck will buy into anything i say . what a sucker.  funny

ShelleBink

03-02-2006, 06:25 AM

angrymissy wrote: The meds they put me on for my "depression" made me 10x worse and took months to get off of. I think therapy works better than meds for depression.I never had ANY type of suicidal thoughts until I was on Paxil. I'd be driving down the highway and nonchalantly think "what would happen if I just drove off the road? I should just drive into that guardrail". It went away after I finally got off the meds.

This message was edited by angrymissy on 3-2-06 @ 9:15 AM  I can relate very well to this.  I remember wanting to drive off the same bridge more times than I can remember.  Scariest part, is when my mom and I started being more open about the subject of depression, she's had the same feeling of driving off the same bridge. And Moe, the "me too" stuff does help me in a way; makes me feel less alone, less like I am some sort of weirdo ((well, more weird than usual)); if that makes any sense.

Death Metal Moe

03-02-2006, 06:39 AM

I always see people say shit like "I never thought of killing myself until..." Are ANY thoughts of suicide some sign your sick?  Because I thought it was pretty normal.

bobrobot

03-02-2006, 06:47 AM

You are very courageous to put this out there. Now I will reveal to you the secret to eternal happiness!<img height="354" src="http://media.popularmechanics.com/images/tb_0103HIWSAA-LEAD.jpg" width="500" border="0" />

AngelAmy

03-02-2006, 10:11 AM

Right now I have been having trouble finding something that makes me happy.  I've delt with depression ever since I broke my leg and I lost the one thing that made me who I am.  Haven't been the same since.  I can't find anything like that to make me happy.  I have an obsessive personality so the things I would obsess over used to keep my brain occupied for a while but lately those things grow tired very quickly.  I will try to buy things or do things that I think will make me happy but its temporary.  I will get a new tattoo or piercing or buy a new laptop or clothes or anything. As time goes on these things become old more and more quicker.  I don't think I will ever be satisfied in my life.  I was told this a long time ago and I am still trying to achieve it "you can only be happy when you are truly happy with yourself"  I am happy when I am with Tony but when I am alone there is nothing that can help me.  I sometimes think that there is something out there that is just for me that could replace soccer but maybe there is nothing.  All I have is to look forward to moving on with our lives but I am worried that wont be enough after a while, then what?

Marc with a c

03-02-2006, 10:19 AM

bobogolem wrote: You are very courageous to put this out there. Now I will reveal to you the secret to eternal happiness!<img height="354" src="http://media.popularmechanics.com/images/tb_0103HIWSAA-LEAD.jpg" width="500" border="0" /><a href="http://www.ronfez.net/usepolicy.html"><img height="239" alt="Stock Photo: Delicious Chocolate Chip Cookies On A Pretty White Plate" src="http://www.acclaimimages.com/_gallery/_SM/0037-0407-3114-5600_SM.jpg" width="300" border="0" /></a>happiness is...

MilkmanDann

03-02-2006, 11:21 AM

sr71blackbird wrote: Keeping yourself busy and active physically is also a great help.  If you've tried the meds and havent had good results this is great advice. The natural endorphin rush from being physically tired is very satisfying, and it helps you keep your mind off what may be troubling you. Most doctors have an extremely hard time diagnosing what to prescribe in cases of depression, so the lowest dose is generally whats given each time. Basketball, a good woman, and a little Prozac really helped me years ago. Hang in there.

furie

03-02-2006, 12:45 PM

what's therapy like? i've never been.

Bulldogcakes

03-02-2006, 03:38 PM

You think of your life and your 20's should be great. You're healthy, you're horny and you have the whole world and your whole life in front of you. Yet for me, and most everyone I know, their 20's completely sucked. It's probably just the adjustment of going from being a teenager to being an adult. And I agree with Moe, it's normal be be down once in a while at any age. If it makes you feel any better, I'll borrow a little from Gvac's thread and tell you that it does get progressively better in your 30's (Sorry Gvac, I'm only 36 so I'll take your word for it on the 40's) You also might want to consider doing some volunteer work. Serving others who need you (or your community in some way) can work wonders for the blues, and give life alot of meaning. Or in my case, I have a business where I work so damn hard I dont have the time or energy to feel sorry for myself anymore. There's definitely something to be said for the distraction of work, especially if its something you're really passionate about. If you have an interest like that, pursue it and make a career out of it. Who cares if you'll ever be a millionaire doing it, if you love it, you're way ahead of most people in this world. Good luck.

Death Metal Moe

03-02-2006, 03:47 PM

I have a question and if it's too off topic for Shelle's thread I'll start another one so I don't take her's over but:How can you start to tell the difference between just being down for awhile, maybe having a hard time in life and deep depression that you are suffering from and unable to help yourself out of?  I know now that for like a year and a half I was unemployed, feeling sorry for myself and hating everything about my life and now I don't completely feel that way.  But during the time I just thought I was doing fine really.  Life sucks sometimes.How does one start to tell they need help?

Bulldogcakes

03-02-2006, 04:08 PM

I'd guess when you cant function anymore. Like Alice said about getting out of bed.

spicedrum1

03-04-2006, 07:13 AM

Keep humor in your diet!

Evilpete

03-04-2006, 07:34 AM

I think I suffer from depression myself, and I think I try to over
compensate by trying to make everyone else around me happy, thinking if
I do that I will be happy.  Only thing is that I don't, but I
still try to do it.  I wish I had health insurance right now so I
can go try to find some help for this.  I work and all, but I
really don't make enough money to afford to go get help and whatever
medications they could put me on.   Shellie I
hope you find the help to fix you.  I see the world out there and
it's a crime that people who have to suffer form some form of depresion
can not enjoy it

Jennitalia

03-04-2006, 04:22 PM

i also suffer from depression.  it got really bad in my late 20s. at the time, i knew i needed to see a psychologist, but i just wasnt ready to deal with anything.  i finally went and it did help me a lot.  she wanted to put me on medication, but i thought that would make me feel worse about things.  i really wanted to try to work things out without it, i didn't want to have to depend on medication to make me feel better, when, up to that, i would drink heavily, smoke pot and take sleeping pills to numb everything.  as i approached 30, i looked at that as a starting point - to reinvent myself, to really make changes in my life.  and, as much as i hated the idea of turning 30, this really did help me also.  i did have to make changes little by little, as change had always been a scary thing in my life, but this has really been the happiest i've been in my life, and although i dont see a psychologist anymore, i know how to interpret my feelings better, andknow how to deal with things better, and look at things somewhat differently. and yes, excersize, being active does help clear your head and makes things not seem so bad. i definitely still have problems.  i still get moody for no reason, to the point where i just dont care about anything, and push people away from me.  i can never pinpoint why i feel the way i do when i get like that, it's not something you choose to do or anything.hang in there, shelle, from what you post and whatnot, things seem to be getting better for you than what they once were. 

sr71blackbird

03-04-2006, 04:56 PM

Im on 2 meds right now for it, but I still get into a funk sometimes regardless.  I tend to get very absorbed in my job and I worry about its stability.  The idea that I could lose it is terrifying to me and I asked my Dr what I can do, and he gave me a prescription for Zanex in case it got bad as an emergency, but recommended I see a psychiatrist too.  But he also gave me some constructive advise on things I can do to be proactive in safeguarding myself.  Things like preparing my resume, looking for other jobs, looking into changing careers on my own, and maybe going back to school.  Now, I feel better without taking the additional medication, and I didnt make an appt to see the psychiatrist, because Im feeling better by being proactive. 

scorpion

03-04-2006, 05:00 PM

Lack of function and constantly doing things to hurt and sabatage yourself is what I believe is how you can consider depressionI have suffered from some form of depression since I was in my late teens.  I now know that alot of what I have done to myself has been as a result of depression.   Several attempts at suicide and extreme anger related problems were at the time related to just a phase and that I would just grow out of it the doctors would say.It also doesn't help that I am not good in crowd settings and have a hard time speaking to and meeting new people.  I tend to just find a corner by myself.At one point I had started to see a therapist and it worked for a long time.  The extreme unhappiness is the toughest to deal with and no matter how good things got I was never able to enjoy the moment.I have always thought of this as some sort of demon that I would fight and thats how I coped.  I came close to losing that fight last year and was at the end for what I knew would be the last time.   I am not sure how I was able to control things long enough to get help but I did.  Thanks to some meds ( I am not a believer of taking medication) and a new therapist I am slowly learning to take back control of my life.  

This message was edited by scorpion on 3-4-06 @ 9:05 PM

Gvac

03-04-2006, 05:25 PM

The old saying "ignorance is bliss" is a lot more accurate than some
people might like to believe.  People who deal with depression
tend to be quite intelligent and extremely sensitive.  The secret
is not letting everything you know and feel completely overwhelm
you.  It's easier said than done, but you really have to
learn to temper your desires and to stop competing with others or with
what you believe your situation should be.Accept what comes your
way and know that nothing (good or bad) lasts forever.  The yin
& yang symbol I use as my avatar (and frequently wear as a
necklace) serves as a constant reminder of this.

ShelleBink

03-05-2006, 06:52 AM

Death Metal Moe wrote: I have a question and if it's too off topic for Shelle's thread I'll start another one so I don't take her's over but:How can you start to tell the difference between just being down for awhile, maybe having a hard time in life and deep depression that you are suffering from and unable to help yourself out of? I know now that for like a year and a half I was unemployed, feeling sorry for myself and hating everything about my life and now I don't completely feel that way. But during the time I just thought I was doing fine really. Life sucks sometimes.How does one start to tell they need help?  Its a legit question Moe, I didn't think it would need to be in a different thread... but anyway... EDIT: Kinda thinking ((typing?)) aloud here:This is what I had the most difficulty with, in a way.  The best way I can try and explain it is that depression can be somewhat subjective.  I kid you not, when I was in the hospital after downing over 24 sleeping pills, I was fully conscious and heard this Romanian nurse say to the guy doing the suicide watch, "She's just a *little* depressed."  Not sarcastically, not in any way concerned.  I mean, here I was trying to end my life and people on the outside looking in didn't take it as seriously as one would perceive.  Another thing that bugged me is when I went back to work and a supervisor ((who did not know the details of my extended absence)) told me, "You're too young to be depressed."  How and why should age matter?Another thing that skewed my perception of depression is watching my mom deal with it when I was young.  I didn't know what depression was, yet I saw my mom suffering extensively due to it.  So, it caused me to believe that being unhappy, laying in bed/on couches all day, etc. was "normal."  I was used to having the feelings as if I were a sloth.  It sucked.  I don't blame my mom for the way she handled things... I honestly don't know how she was able to keep a marriage, a full time job, and raise 4 kids while having this dark cloud over her head.  Basically I thought depression was what is normal and the idea of "true" normal was simply not possible. Furie also asked what therapy is like.In my experience, my first therapist wasn't too great.  Therapists and Psychologists can be in it for the money, or in it to truly help change the well being of the patient.  Luckily I had an excellent therapist after my OD.  Once my therapy was over, I found out she was laid off and it really pissed me off.  But therapy works best, and my frist therapist said this, when the person wants to make the change.  It really is true.  Therapy is just having a conversation and basically having the other person say things like "Well have you thought about it this way..." and just tries to guide you along the proverbial path.Okay, I've ranted too long :o)

Tenbatsuzen

03-07-2006, 07:07 PM

I've tried therapy a few times. Each time it's been nothing but failure.   The first time, I wasn't ready for it.  I was unresponsive because I was going through the motions to get out of trouble with my parents.The second time, it was the same as the first.  The third time actually helped a bit, because I was able to come to terms with certain things in my life at school.The fourth and most recent time was a complete was of time.I am self-aware enough to realize that I am in a major state of depression, and I function solely for the reason because I sacrifice for other people.  I am NOT a happy person, and I haven't been for a while.  My mood swings are prevalent.  My performance at my job has been slipping just because of different factors of unhappiness, even though I've been programmed for the past 10 years, through school and other things - to do this kind of job.The worst part about it - which adds to my misery - is that even if I got out - I have no idea what else I can do besides bartend. Although I haven't had suicidal thoughts - ever since the accident my mind has been really messed up.  I have very irresponsible and irrational thoughts, and defense mechanisms pop up to JUSTIFY these thoughts.A scenario I've had running through my head - as a solution to all my problems - is to just walk away, take the money from my insurance settlement and drive cross country.Then I realize that my life isn't a major motion picture.

Alice S. Fuzzybutt

03-07-2006, 07:31 PM

I've come to the conclusion that when I meet a stranger on the street, at least 7 times out of 10 they are on some sort of anti-depressant. We live in the greatest nation in the world. It must mean something. Are we spoiled? Do we expect too much? I have no idea; I just put it out there.

FUNKMAN

03-07-2006, 07:53 PM

My next oldest brother who is two years older than me 'he's 45' has had problems for over 25 years since being honorably discharged from the Marine Corps. It actually started after he came out and tried to become a State Trooper.He was initially denied moving on with further testing after his first written test and had found out about minorities being allowed to move on with lower scores. He wrote a letter to the local politician about it.He got over that and passed the next written test and went on with the other tests you have to pass. He passed the physical test in Sea Girt and the extensive background checks. So now he had to go before a review board in Trenton made up of law enforcement people and psychiatrists, etc.He did go down with a chip on his shoulder being he had a 'built up' Marine type attitude. He said they questioned him about the letter he wrote to the politician and asked him questions about how he felt about woman being state troopers. From the feedback i got from my brother it sounded like his answers were pretty short. Anyway, he said they failed him and they made a comment that they wouldn't be comfortable with him having a gun in his hand.It was an answer my brother could never accept! He felt he was wronged and discriminated against.Looking back i think the problem was he left himself no room for failure, and he felt someone owed him something for serving 4 years in the Marines. With the Trooper job he would have been self supporting, doing what he wanted to do. Afterwards he could only get low paying jobs mainly because he didn't learn any skills in the Marines. So for the next 25 years or so it has been a roller coaster ride. He has been fired from dozens of jobs. He worked security at the Meadowlands high rise and one night he just decided to bash the guardshack to smithereens with a bat. Another time he pulled over at the Toll section of the NJ Turnpike and began jumping on top of 2 State Trooper cars trying to kick the roofs in.Another night he called "i think the FBI' and was talking shit. They came to his apartment in the middle of the night, maced him and "i don't mean to laugh' but he said one of the guys punched him in the chest. Mind you he was the quietest nicest kid growing up who didn't give my parents a bit of trouble.But it seems therapy has done absolutely nothing for him and it's strictly the meds that keep him 'balanced' for lack of a better word. When he goes off the meds then problems happen.I guess this is not exactly depression but something else that went wrong psychologically. I actually believe he brainwashed himself by 'at first' always thinking he was wronged and then he couldn't reverse/control his thinking at that point and hasn't been able to since without medication...Anyway, the title of the thread seems so fitting because it just seems he will never look for or know true happiness ever again. There are little glimpses of it that i see when he talks with my daughters over the phone, or when he sees them. He remembers their birthdays and they even exchange a couple letters throughout the year(he's in N Carolina) He sends them little prayer cards usually. One thing that was a little unusual i thought was through the turmoil he went and got a 4 year college degree. He's been good for a year or two now and works steady, lives simple, and my other brother who lives in NC keeps an eye on him and they'll get together a couple times a month...

Death Metal Moe

03-07-2006, 08:01 PM

Everytime I see this thread it makes me think of the lyrics to "Angry, Neurotic Catholics" by Peter Steele's old band CARNIVORE.  I don't want to make a joke out of this thread, just keeps popping into my head.  The song is more about how the guilt trip religion puts on people can drive them crazy, but the opening lines keep ringing in my head:I'm suffering from depression, the anger turned within.  What do I gain for all my pain?  Perhaps a seat in heaven?Check it out.Don't do what you want, do what you're taught is right, your life is built on paranoia and guilt, don't forget your Valium tonight.

CYYYFYYY

03-08-2006, 06:27 PM

<div>My own personal theory on depression and it is kinda unique goes like this..... It is a lot like intelligence.  Some people are just born not so smart.  No matter how hard they study they will never be an A student.  I feel that way about depression.  Some of us cannot reach the high level of happiness matter how well things are going.  Yes you will be more depressed when things suck but even when things are going amazing and you are kinda happy you think shouldn't I be happier like a student who studies his ass off and gets an 80.  It is kinda sad this theory but I stand by it</div>

Earlshog

03-08-2006, 08:25 PM

I’m no expert, just a dueshbag (who can’t spell) with an opinion based on life experience. We can all relate to those feelings of what’s all this shit for. Be it loneliness, feelings of inadequacy, finical hardship, whatever. We’ve all see that famous guy/gal and wonder how they can be so miserable when they have everything that could possible make a human being happy (as we perceive). Its all relative and what I’m saying might not relate to you, but the general principal is the same. Sometimes we put too much thought into what others perception is of us. Oh shes not married, he doesn’t own his place, when she was younger and on and on. . It’s usually not that blunt but you can pick up the general undertone. Don’t ever let anyone talk down to you (unless you are Gary Gliter) You have to do whats right by you. If what makes you happy does not fit into societal norms, sometimes you gotta say fuck it. You gotta do whats right by you. All of us posting here have enough life knowledge to make the choices we believe are right for us and the ones we care about. Are we always right, no, no one is always right (except Anthony) but such is life. Its beneficial to make those you love and care about happy, to a point, but its not your responsibility. You can’t make everyone happy. Life isn’t easy, no one said it would be (oh how I hate to use clich‚s on a post like this). Pick your spots, roll with the punches (there go the clich‚s again). We all have those little things that bring us pleasure, be it completely getting Ron, a piece of music that reaches us, seeing your significant others smiling face after a tough day, buying a new pair of shoes, jogging, putting a litter of kittens in a pillow case and beating them against brick wall until the meowing stops (kidding kidding) etc, etc. No one thing is right for everyone. Human beings are complex. More complex then my feeble mind will ever even come close to comprehending. A forum like this is great. It’s a bunch of like minded people (for the most part) who feel the same emotions. You know you are not alone. I personally have always found the good outweighs the bad, no mater how bad the bad gets sometimes. Okay time to go to bed so I can go to my horrible job tomorrow, any one have any cyanide. Kidding kidding, unless you know someone whos holding. ha ha life is good!!!

JerryTaker

03-13-2006, 01:07 PM

Well, you can be happy that you're atractive, because I know very well that if you're both ugly and depressed, you get shunned around here.

ShelleBink

03-13-2006, 01:50 PM

JerryTaker wrote: Well, you can be happy that you're atractive, because I know very well that if you're both ugly and depressed, you get shunned around here.   That's debatable.  Trust me.

TheC0BRA

03-22-2006, 08:19 AM

I guess I'm lucky in that I have always found life to be fun!  I did go t hrough a real difficult tiime in 2001 which gave me a feel for what derpression is like.  I ended up writing a book because of those difficult times and if you PM me I will send you a signed copy.  Maybe it will help! Have fun!<img height="98" src="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y206/Curtis2073/Cobra185x207.jpg" width="110" border="0" />

This message was edited by TheC0BRA on 3-22-06 @ 12:20 PM

Freakshow

03-22-2006, 08:33 AM

unhappinessYou said Penis.

Billy Staples

03-27-2006, 08:38 PM

Death Metal Moe wrote: Are ANY thoughts of suicide some sign your sick?  Because I thought it was pretty normal. OK, I was avoiding this, but much too much experience and too many different opinions from people. Look If I never gave birth, I wouldn't tell you how to have a baby, so listen to those who HAVE been thee.  a lot of times it take trial and error and sometimes more than 1, usually welbutrin since it isn't an SSRI of anti-depressants to find what works.Missy, I'm with you on Paxil, I was off that stuff so fast and onto Celexa, it was like night and day anyway Moe, thoughts of suicide are not sick, they are pretty normal.  Most thoughts you have are pretty normal.  the whole thing and difference is acting on them.  As in suicide, its one thing to think about it, the problem lies in planningit!....see Shelle, hang in there, It can feel real dark sometimes, PM me if you want Billy

FUNKMAN

03-27-2006, 08:50 PM

Are ANY thoughts of suicide some sign your sick?  Because I thought it was pretty normal.haven't had these thoughts in a bunch of years now but:> sometimes when i was driving, even with the family in the car i would have a strong urge to just 'completely turn the wheel' while going 75mph and in my mind i just wanted to see how many times the car would roll. but felt we would be fine and unharmed when the car came to a stop> when i was on the roof of our 4 story apt house and on the 12th floor balcony of a high rise condominium i would get the urge to jump. for some reason i felt i would be okay and would be able to 'roll' out of the fall when i hit the groundthen one day i was talking to my dad and he told me he had the same urges when we were re-roofing the apt house... he said it was the devil trying to make him do itsucky feelings for sure!

Mike Teacher

03-28-2006, 03:05 AM

Are we spoiled? Do we expect too much?=Yes and Yes.

Don Stugots

03-28-2006, 03:44 AM

I dont know if we are spoiled. Its possible. I have friends that are in the huge compitition with themsevles and each other to get married, have kids, buy a house, buy a big truck or minivan, have more kids, think that their kids are smarter than others, and then think that there is something wrong with other people for not being like this. I dont know if that is spoiled, but it is dumb. "life is a journey, and not a destination." Dylan.

At times, I feel like I am doing something wrong with my life. I get no pleasure from things that I should.

A few years ago I went to a therapist and he told me that the feelings that I have are normal, since they come and go. There is an abundance of people that feel dissenchanted with their lives, or with society. We realize that we are not living in the same world that our parents grew up in and that leads to discontent.

landarch

03-28-2006, 05:35 AM

I believe Stu hit the nail on the head a couple of times there.  The competition btw friends you speak of is dumb, and the blind frenzy to win that competition is a LARGE problem with America today (i.e. parents are more concerned with making more money to win this competition than actually doing any parenting.....But that's for another thread and another time.I know very little about depression.  I have been through a hard time or two mentally but always came back without seeing any pros or taking any meds.  I used Zyban to attempt smoking cessation once, and that made me really nuts until I stopped taking it, so I guess that was my peek under the tent there.  I do feel bad for those who truly suffer though, and am always willing to give an ear for someone needing to get these types of things off their chests.  I've had friends who were diagnosed as bipolar, and a couple of others who probably could have been.  Having to live like that must be very difficult.During one of my mental "hard times" a couple of chicks were on the Today show spouting wonderful things about this book they had just written called the "Quarter Life Crisis".  The idea was that people today are experiencing a mid-life crisis somewhere around age 24-30.  "Hey" I thought, "that's me!!"  So I bought the book and tried to read it.  No dice.  Basically what I took from skimming through it was  what I took from Stugots post here.  First, the whole thing about being in competition with each other for the biggest house, car, bank account, number of friends, skinniest wives, whatever.  In short, the things that don't really rank very highly on the importance scale.  Those that felt this way somehow had this sense of entitlement to these things and couldn't handle not receiving them (on a silver platter, I felt).  This eventually led to their crisis.  Second, the whole thing about being in a world so different from their parents.  I felt for a long time ( I guess I am guilty of my own feelings of entitlement) that I was sold a rotten bill of goods growing up, that this world was some peachy great place and it was all mine for the taking.  By the time I got old enough to take it for myself, I found that it didn't exist any more, that it had turned into some disease riddled shithole that i wanted no part of.  Then I found out my parents felt the same way, and my grandparents.  They all had to deal with a changing world too.  They both said that you couldn't pay them enough to relive the 50's and 60's (or the 30's and 40's for my grandparents) but man, if they could travel back to those idealized times in their pasts, they would never come home.  So now the question is for me, were the 80's really that great?  Probably not.  Will this era be idealized in the future to be better than it actually is?  Probably.  So what did I do to feel better?  I realized these things above and began to believe them, and I quit watching television.  You can watch the whole world go straight to hell from your TV (wish I could credit that quote, it's not mine).  That was the biggest step in my feeling better about life, was to quit dumbing out in front of a television screen.Damn, do I ramble.  Sorry.  I hope those in this thread that are feeling bad start to feel good again.  It has certainly helped me to read that the thoughts I have sometimes are normal, and that I'm not the only one who (fill in the blank).............

Death Metal Moe

03-28-2006, 05:59 AM

Mike Teacher wrote: Are we spoiled? Do we expect too much?=Yes and Yes.That is a big problem.  We're well off enough as a country to have enough free time to worry about being depressed.Other people around the world are fighting for their lives and we're worried about "Keeping up with the Henderson's" so to speak.

Billy Staples

03-28-2006, 06:32 AM

Say it ain't so Moeand we're worried about "Keeping up with the Henderson's" so to speak.I think and hope youknow that real clinical depression is much more than that.  Hell that is cured easily, dont buy pills, buy a car

Don Stugots

03-28-2006, 06:33 AM

Afro, were you in my head this morning? you pretty much put into words how I have felt for years. No, you didnt babble.

I have given up on the "competing with the Fuckos". I am not even sure that I was ever in it. A days ago, I was to talking to my girlfriend about all of this. I told her that while I had a big gas guzzling truck (which helps for the work that I do), I am going to get rid of it over the summer and get a VW GTi. We will buy a house, but that is for us, not to compare square footages with our friends (mostly hers, mine are all slackers, which is why I love them). She agreed about her friends trying to one up each other. It is so obvious when a 95 pound, 5'6'' women is driving an Excurrsion, and she only has one, THATS RIGHT ONE, rug rat. Do you really need all that room for the brat? Do you really need to have all leather and AC/Heated seats? No you dont you materialistic little TWAT.

(I wont rip into anyone with a big TV, I love mine, but its not for show, I love watching Friends on it to see Jennifer Anniston almost life size)

i

landarch

03-28-2006, 08:23 AM

Yeah, I was in your head today, but I got up and promptly left with little trace.My wife still has some of that competition in her.  She grew up in a wealthy town and for some time, knew nothing else.  It's taken nearly 12 years, but we're almost on the same page.  We both gave a little there.  I agreed that it is nice to have nice things, and she agreed that it shouldn't be one's life work to acheive them.  

This message was edited by luvafroshows on 3-28-06 @ 1:06 PM

Terragen

04-14-2006, 12:52 PM

I have depression. Still not on meds, still haven't had a completely
medical explanation for my madness. All I know is, I fight it with
these main things: Buddhism, Music, and a little pot-smoking and
masturbation. No none of these actually cure it. Maybe the Buddhism
will if I can commit to it, but nothing worldly or material will do
anything for you. You are probably a very creative person, as such you
will suffer in existential confusion, but don't worry, just try to
focus on positive thoughts, and they will do battle with the negative
passions. Look, I haven't been laid in 6 years! Its depressing
as hell! I'm a decent-looking, thin dude, I'm 29 and making money, but
none makes me happy because I'm very lonely. I've been with girls here
and there, but have been unable to have sex with them even tho I've
been naked with them. At least you have someone to love! I'm a good guy
I'm just shy, couple that with depression/anxiety and Voila! I am
messed up. Feel thankful for having someone - its infinitely worse
living in my lonely world. Thankfully i have my dog Timber and a loving
family. I wish you the best.