Why East Side Dave is a complete lunatic... [Archive]

JerseyRich

03-07-2006, 02:23 PM

As some of you may know, I am getting married in April. Along with the invitations to the wedding were RSVP cards and cards that state what time and where the reception is taking place(not neccessary to return that portion)So I guess just to make himself clear, Dave returned his rsvp and the other card with this written inside.(No Joke):<img border="0" src="http://www.richstillwell.com/RF/ESDmeat.jpg" />Man, am I proud to be the ESD Fanclub Pres.For those of you that need it translated, it says:David McDonald + Guest will attend and eat meat productz...Yes with a "z".What's he going to think when I tell him it's a Raw Vegan Dinner?

EliSnow

03-07-2006, 02:31 PM

JerseyRich wrote: What's he going to think when I tell him it's a Raw Vegan Dinner?   What I want to know is if he will attend if you tell him that no batching is allowed.

Tall_James

03-07-2006, 02:34 PM

At least you can assume that he won't be bringing no hippie-vegan chick to your wedding who'd stink up the joint with Patchouli oil.That's a good friend if you ask me.

JerseyRich

03-07-2006, 02:35 PM

EliSnow wrote: JerseyRich wrote: What's he going to think when I tell him it's a Raw Vegan Dinner? What I want to know is if he will attend if you tell him that no batching is allowed.  It's a week after Easter, I'm sure he'll need to catch up.

Hottub

03-07-2006, 02:37 PM

Keep your eyes on the Bridesmaids, Rich!   <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/innocent.gif" border="0" />

FUNKMAN

03-07-2006, 02:38 PM

What's he going to think when I tell him it's a Raw Vegan Dinner? that's no problem for Dave, he always has meat on hand...oops, that should read 'in hand'...

Tall_James

03-07-2006, 02:38 PM

By the way Rich, my invite hasn't gotten here yet.  Must have gotten lost in the mail.  Can you resend? Thanks.

SatCam

03-07-2006, 02:39 PM

As if showing up to a party with an aerosol can didn't tip you off...

JerseyRich

03-07-2006, 02:39 PM

Tall_James wrote: By the way Rich, my invite hasn't gotten here yet. Must have gotten lost in the mail. Can you resend? Thanks.  It should have been there by now! Just look out for the package that is ticking.

Gvac

03-07-2006, 02:40 PM

Vegan dinner?I'm out.

JerseyRich

03-07-2006, 02:41 PM

Tall_James wrote: At least you can assume that he won't be bringing no hippie-vegan chick to your wedding who'd stink up the joint with Patchouli oil.That's a good friend if you ask me.  Oh jeez. Wouldn't Gvac just love that!

Greggie44

03-07-2006, 02:41 PM

JerseyRich wrote:  EliSnow wrote: JerseyRich wrote: What's he going to think when I tell him it's a Raw Vegan Dinner?  What I want to know is if he will attend if you tell him that no batching is allowed.  It's a week after Easter, I'm sure he'll need to catch up. Dave will be hooked up to an IV due to dehydration by then.

JerseyRich

03-07-2006, 02:44 PM

Wait a minute. I just thought. It's open bar. What the hell was I thinking?Uh, Dave. We need to talk.

Furtherman

03-07-2006, 02:50 PM

JerseyRich wrote: Wait a minute. I just thought. It's open bar. What the hell was I thinking?It looks like he wrote that at an open bar.

Hottub

03-07-2006, 02:53 PM

Tall_James wrote: By the way Rich, my invite hasn't gotten here yet.  Must have gotten lost in the mail.  Can you resend? Thanks. It probably should have been there by now.Along with your Fucking Guinness batch rag!!!

Sheeplovr

03-07-2006, 03:03 PM

I guess My Rsvp Card got lost in the mail?I see how it is <img width="561" height="686" border="0" src="http://suchsome.somesuch.org/richandhelen22.jpeg" />

FUNKMAN

03-07-2006, 03:05 PM

you better hope that's rice he's slinging?

PanterA

03-07-2006, 03:28 PM

congrats on getting hitched. I guess my invitation got lost in the mail...<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/dry.gif" border="0" />

TheMojoPin

03-07-2006, 03:33 PM

Billy's gonna be the best man, right?

Gvac

03-07-2006, 03:38 PM

I still can't believe Rich is actually going through with this marriage.Wait 'till Helen finds out he's gay.

Hottub

03-07-2006, 03:44 PM

Gvac wrote: Wait 'till Helen finds out he's gay. Even worse, wait 'till she finds out it's ME!!

Sheeplovr

03-07-2006, 03:52 PM

I still can't believe Rich is actually going through with this marriage.Wait 'till Helen finds out he's gay. 
 Robot has been programed to not care about his homosexuality 


This message was edited by Sheeplovr on 3-7-06 @ 8:16 PM

Mike Teacher

03-07-2006, 04:44 PM

Remember the Al Dukes Wedding gift rule; $35 is plenty.

Gvac

03-07-2006, 04:49 PM

35 bucks?!You think I'm made of money?He'll get a candlestick and like it.

Marc with a c

03-07-2006, 04:51 PM

is it cool if i bring 2 guests?

FUNKMAN

03-07-2006, 04:53 PM

Wait 'till Helen finds out he's gay.He'll get a candlestick and like it.no more questions...

Kewlkat

03-07-2006, 05:57 PM

TheMojoPin wrote: Billy's gonna be the best man, right? That was until the chicken parm fell through and Mikey D said he would do it, drum sticks and all.

jlehane

03-07-2006, 08:55 PM

Rich,congrats on being an April Fool and getting married.The funny thing today was when the gruff sounding lady caller called Dave "Ronald McDonald motherfucker".....haaaaaaaaaaaaaa    High Five lady.Monkeys look at Dave pass by and just shake their heads"man,that guy can SPANK !"<img src="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a45/JLehane/BigJeremiahTears16bcr.jpg" border="0" />  1 little 2 little 12 little monkeys. ***He should have his own THEME PARK called "SPANKYLAND"  teeee heeeee

This message was edited by jlehane on 3-8-06 @ 1:04 AM

JerseyRich

03-08-2006, 06:56 AM

FUNKMAN wrote:  Wait 'till Helen finds out he's gay.  He'll get a candlestick and like it. no more questions...  Just one more. What scent? It better be a Yankee!

Sheeplovr

03-08-2006, 07:29 AM

will his wedding attire have cum stained armpits as well?

MuleBrenner

03-08-2006, 07:34 AM

Man, I really hate East Side Dave.  He's death-on-air.  And he started the show today..................gah!

Freakshow

03-08-2006, 07:37 AM

JerseyRich wrote: What's he going to think when I tell him it's a Raw Vegan Dinner?  He should be cool with that.  Raw vegans aren't bad.  They are better cooked, but still tasty raw.

West Side Claire

03-08-2006, 07:45 AM

MuleBrenner wrote: Man, I really hate East Side Dave.  He's death-on-air.  And he started the show today..................gah!Rude and rude.Keep your mean opinions to yourself.

Tall_James

03-08-2006, 07:48 AM

MuleBrenner wrote: Man, I really hate East Side Dave.  He's death-on-air.  And he started the show today..................gah!I disagree with you.  I think Dave rocks.  However, I will admit that your boardname is one of the funniest I have ever encountered.  Kudos to you sir.

Billy Staples

03-08-2006, 07:56 AM

I think its hysterical and ironic that Pantera thinks his invite is lost in the mail?Like...whose fucking fault is that?its probably where all of our invites are,Panteras postal delivery mud truck. Yes, i know a place for a cheap black suit, I'm best man ready

MuleBrenner

03-08-2006, 07:57 AM

Tall_James wrote: <blockquote />I disagree with you.  I think Dave rocks.  However, I will admit that your boardname is one of the funniest I have ever encountered.  Kudos to you sir.Thank you, sir.  But seriously - what did they hire Dave to do?  Is he supposed to be on-air talent?  He's not even a poor man's Jim Norton.........he's like a homeless man's Norton.  Surely they can come up with someone better than a chronic masturbater/smarmy know-it-all.  He kills the show for me, and I like it better than O&A.And are negative comments frowned upon?  I'm new here, so?

Sheeplovr

03-08-2006, 08:05 AM

However, I will admit that your boardname is one of the funniest I have ever encountered.  Kudos to you sir.<img width="384" height="256" border="0" src="http://suchsome.somesuch.org/MuleByneer.jpg" />Mule Bynner

East Side Dave

03-08-2006, 11:21 AM

I actually strive to be the poor man's Jonathan Lipnicki! Fuck you, MuleBrenner, yeehaw!  :) (ps- i sound nothing like jim norton; not everyone who is a producer, intern or who sits in on a show tries to sound like jim, as great as he is...)   edit: and even being a homeless man's jim norton isn't so bad being that he is that awesome

This message was edited by East Side Dave on 3-8-06 @ 7:59 PM

Hottub

03-08-2006, 11:26 AM

You are right Dave. You do not sound like Norton.However, you both have a dead hooker in your trunk!

PanterA

03-08-2006, 12:58 PM

Billy Staples wrote: I think its hysterical and ironic that Pantera thinks his invite is lost in the mail?Like...whose fucking fault is that?its probably where all of our invites are,Panteras postal delivery mud truck. Yes, i know a place for a cheap black suit, I'm best man readyI guess I'm just not cool enough to be invited. Thats OK I was going to have a few pool parties this year. Everyone BUT Rich is invited. Even Helen is invited, fuck you Rich!

JerseyRich

03-08-2006, 01:08 PM

PanterA wrote: Billy Staples wrote: I think its hysterical and ironic that Pantera thinks his invite is lost in the mail?Like...whose fucking fault is that?its probably where all of our invites are,Panteras postal delivery mud truck. Yes, i know a place for a cheap black suit, I'm best man readyI guess I'm just not cool enough to be invited. Thats OK I was going to have a few pool parties this year. Everyone BUT Rich is invited. Even Helen is invited, fuck you Rich!  It's ok. I only go to pool parties if nudity is required.

Death Metal Moe

03-08-2006, 01:29 PM

Sheeplovr wrote:  However, I will admit that your boardname is one of the funniest I have ever encountered.  Kudos to you sir.  <img height="256" src="http://suchsome.somesuch.org/MuleByneer.jpg" width="384" border="0" />Mule Bynner HA!  Beat me to it.

moochcassidy

03-08-2006, 01:43 PM

im diggin daves "white power" sign in on the show. dont like all this masterbation talk though...dont do it meself.

MilkmanDann

03-08-2006, 01:50 PM

moochcassidy wrote: im diggin daves "white power" sign in on the show. dont like all this masterbation talk though...dont do it meself. What'd your hands fall off or something?  Btw Dave you actually hold out for 40 days, your batch afterwards will put Peter North to shame. There's something to look forward to !

moochcassidy

03-08-2006, 01:59 PM

What'd your hands fall off or something?   never tried it...whats all the fuss about? borders dont wank anyway.

FUNKMAN

03-08-2006, 02:09 PM

JerseyRich wrote:  FUNKMAN wrote:  Wait 'till Helen finds out he's gay.   He'll get a candlestick and like it.  no more questions...  Just one more. What scent? It better be a Yankee! I heard it was Chlorine Protein... and it's all hand made

MuleBrenner

03-09-2006, 08:08 AM

East Side Dave wrote: I actually strive to be the poor man's Jonathan Lipnicki! Fuck you, MuleBrenner, yeehaw!  :) (ps- i sound nothing like jim norton; not everyone who is a producer, intern or who sits in on a show tries to sound like jim, as great as he is...)   edit: and even being a homeless man's jim norton isn't so bad being that he is that awesomeThis message was edited by East Side Dave on 3-8-06 @ 7:59 PM Let's see.  All you talk about is your sex life, well such that it is - masturbation, blow-up dolls, and West Side.  You try to go off on negative callers as best you can.  You're too loud and often talk over Ron and Fez.  Yeah, you're right.  You're not trying to be like Norton at all.  My mistake.And c'mon, Dave.  You know in your heart that your girl went all the way with that guy.  He's French.  And a chef.  It's what they do.

Sheeplovr

03-09-2006, 08:17 AM

I actually strive to be the poor man's Jonathan Lipnickyour
not blond or wear glasses and never had a adorable guest apperances on
dawsons creek (he helped Pacey realize his love for Joey) or something
like that

ChrisTheCop

03-09-2006, 08:38 AM

Billy Staples finally had a funny line! made me laugh anyway. congratsand congrats to Rich. Not only was I not invited, I also was not one of those many who already knew you were engaged. So good luck to you and your bride.

EliSnow

03-09-2006, 08:48 AM

ChrisTheCop wrote: Billy Staples finally had a funny line! made me laugh anyway. congratsReally?  The weather report today didn't forcast that Hell would freeze over.

MadMatt

03-09-2006, 09:17 AM

Freakshow wrote: JerseyRich wrote: What's he going to think when I tell him it's a Raw Vegan Dinner?  He should be cool with that.  Raw vegans aren't bad.  They are better cooked, but still tasty raw.Not much meat on their bones, but it is nice and lean.  Oddly enough, they go well with a salad of mixed greens and a light vinagrette.  Maybe some mint jelly on the side...Damn, now I'm hungry.

East Side Dave

03-09-2006, 10:56 AM

My mistake. Glad you admitted you were wrong. I win! I win!  

This message was edited by East Side Dave on 3-9-06 @ 3:12 PM

Death Metal Moe

03-09-2006, 11:12 AM

MuleBrenner wrote: East Side Dave wrote: I actually strive to be the poor man's Jonathan Lipnicki! Fuck you, MuleBrenner, yeehaw!  :) (ps- i sound nothing like jim norton; not everyone who is a producer, intern or who sits in on a show tries to sound like jim, as great as he is...)   edit: and even being a homeless man's jim norton isn't so bad being that he is that awesomeThis message was edited by East Side Dave on 3-8-06 @ 7:59 PM Let's see.  All you talk about is your sex life, well such that it is - masturbation, blow-up dolls, and West Side.  You try to go off on negative callers as best you can.  You're too loud and often talk over Ron and Fez.  Yeah, you're right.  You're not trying to be like Norton at all.  My mistake.And c'mon, Dave.  You know in your heart that your girl went all the way with that guy.  He's French.  And a chef.  It's what they do."Doesn't Get the Bit Guy" Ladies and gentleman!  Let's give him a big round of applause!"Doesn't Get the Bit Guy!"  Hats off to you my friend. NOW GO GET YOUR FUCKING SHINE BOX!!!! And stand in the "I hate on air personas" corner with Grey Hoody Sweatshirt.

JerseyRich

03-09-2006, 11:24 AM

MuleBrenner wrote: Tall_James wrote: I disagree with you. I think Dave rocks. However, I will admit that your boardname is one of the funniest I have ever encountered. Kudos to you sir.Thank you, sir. But seriously - what did they hire Dave to do? Is he supposed to be on-air talent? He's not even a poor man's Jim Norton.........he's like a homeless man's Norton. Surely they can come up with someone better than a chronic masturbater/smarmy know-it-all. He kills the show for me, and I like it better than O&A.And are negative comments frowned upon? I'm new here, so? Despite your twisted logic, Norton didn't invent speaking about sex and race in a disgusting manner. It's been around for a few years, I believe.And when was the last time you heard Dave run into the studio, uninvited, offering up informattion about his sex life or feelings on racial issues? Hasn't happened yet. You know why? Because he is being asked questions and trying to get people to call in about a topic. Last time I checked, it's still a talk show. <blockquote />

This message was edited by JerseyRich on 3-9-06 @ 3:29 PM

Death Metal Moe

03-09-2006, 11:26 AM

No rich, he's "Doesn't Get the Bit Guy!"Don't roooon it!

JerseyRich

03-09-2006, 11:30 AM

<img border="0" src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/wink.gif" />I'm roooon a thread guy. 

This message was edited by JerseyRich on 3-9-06 @ 3:30 PM

IrishAlkey

03-09-2006, 11:43 AM

Be sure to check his pockets before he leaves the reception. That's where you'll find the meat productz.

Tall_James

03-09-2006, 12:08 PM

IrishAlkey wrote: Be sure to check his pockets before he leaves the reception.That's where you'll find the meat productz.NO! IT'S A TRAP! HE WANTS YOU TO STICK YOUR HANDS INSIDE HIS POCKETS!

JerseyRich

03-09-2006, 12:41 PM

IrishAlkey wrote: Be sure to check his pockets before he leaves the reception. That's where you'll find the meat productz.  If Westside is with him, her purse will be used I'm sure.

EliSnow

03-09-2006, 12:43 PM

JerseyRich wrote: If Westside is with him, her purse will be used I'm sure. So what you're saying is that ESD's meat productz will be in Westside's purse?

jlehane

03-10-2006, 02:07 AM

Mule,have you ever heard the term"Class Clown" ?   Have you ever put yourself in the place of others? Here,let me show you.Pretend you are Fez.You've heaerd of Fez,right? He's Ron's Partner on the show we listen to.      Fez is FUNNY,right? Fez chose this guy Dave.         Ok that's enough for today.Your lesson will continue tomorrow.

MuleBrenner

03-10-2006, 04:57 AM

Death Metal Moe wrote: "Doesn't Get the Bit Guy" Ladies and gentleman!  Let's give him a big round of applause!"Doesn't Get the Bit Guy!"  Hats off to you my friend. NOW GO GET YOUR FUCKING SHINE BOX!!!! And stand in the "I hate on air personas" corner with Grey Hoody Sweatshirt.So does this make you "Junp to Conclusions Guy", "Poor Reading Comprehension Guy", "Internet Message Board Asshole Guy", or maybe all three?  I described the bit, I get the bit, I just don't find it funny.  I suppose time, and talent, will tell.

JerseyRich

03-10-2006, 05:00 AM

MuleBrenner wrote:  "Internet Message Board Asshole Guy"  This may be correct, but only those who love him are allowed to call Moe that. How dare you, sir!

MuleBrenner

03-10-2006, 05:04 AM

jlehane wrote: Mule,have you ever heard the term"Class Clown" ?   Have you ever put yourself in the place of others? Here,let me show you.Pretend you are Fez.You've heaerd of Fez,right? He's Ron's Partner on the show we listen to.      Fez is FUNNY,right? Fez chose this guy Dave.         Ok that's enough for today.Your lesson will continue tomorrow. Fez is hillarious.........but nobody's pefect.  Again, ESD is just not funny.  His timing sucks, he's derivative, he's too loud, and even the tonality of his voice isn't right for the show.  I can't think of a single show that he didn't just suck all the energy from when he came on.  Or is that part of his "bit" too?  If he's meant to be the unfunny, show-stopper - I guess I'm way off base.  And, yes, I've heard the term "Class Clown" - Dave just doesn't think on his feet fast enough to be class clown.  But there was also the "class moron" too, so.................

This message was edited by MuleBrenner on 3-10-06 @ 9:07 AM

Hottub

03-10-2006, 05:04 AM

EliSnow wrote: JerseyRich wrote: If Westside is with him, her purse will be used I'm sure. So what you're saying is that ESD's meat productz will be in Westside's purse? Will there be enough room? She already has his balls in there!

Earlshog

03-10-2006, 05:26 AM

I particularly liked his use of the word "giz face" when fighting with that caller yesterday

Death Metal Moe

03-10-2006, 06:06 AM

MuleBrenner wrote: Death Metal Moe wrote: "Doesn't Get the Bit Guy" Ladies and gentleman!  Let's give him a big round of applause!"Doesn't Get the Bit Guy!"  Hats off to you my friend. NOW GO GET YOUR FUCKING SHINE BOX!!!! And stand in the "I hate on air personas" corner with Grey Hoody Sweatshirt.So does this make you "Junp to Conclusions Guy", "Poor Reading Comprehension Guy", "Internet Message Board Asshole Guy", or maybe all three?  I described the bit, I get the bit, I just don't find it funny.  I suppose time, and talent, will tell.I am Internet Messageboard Asshole Guy you fucking SPED, and DON'T FORGET IT!  Now, GET YOUR FUCKING SHINE BOX!!!

This message was edited by Death Metal Moe on 3-10-06 @ 10:06 AM

MuleBrenner

03-10-2006, 06:32 AM

Got the box, Moe.  You want me to try and buff the shit stains off your knob and shove the brush up your ass like last time? 

Death Metal Moe

03-10-2006, 07:08 AM

MuleBrenner wrote: Got the box, Moe.  You want me to try and buff the shit stains off your knob and shove the brush up your ass like last time?  Don't talk dirty to me mister unless you're willing to go all the way.Tease.

moochcassidy

03-10-2006, 07:10 AM

Earlshog wrote: I particularly liked his use of the word "giz face" when fighting with that caller yesterdayhes used 'giz face' before. i like it. im gonna use it in conversation.

MadMatt

03-10-2006, 07:11 AM

MuleBrenner wrote: Got the box, Moe.  You want me to try and buff the shit stains off your knob and shove the brush up your ass like last time?  I'm not digging on the Moe bashing, but damn, that's a respectable comeback.