Im pissed at a former co-worker [Archive]

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sr71blackbird

03-15-2006, 04:36 PM

I used to work at a different office from where I work now. Basically I did my best to train the people in the old office how to do the job.  I was basically brought to that office to teach them our process after the department I was in was closed down by the companys attempt to unify the work force, because we covered 3 regious and had 3 processes.  (Sorry, I had to summarize it, or else it wouldnt make sence- hopefully that helped) So I was in that office for 2 years teaching, while also doing my job, and having to contend with the fact that the entire building regarded me as an outsider and was hostile to me because I was from a different union.  However, I did develop a very good rapport with several people there and they respected the knowledge that I brought, but many were very resistant top learn the process because it took a great deal of concentration and is a hard concept for many people.  I became very good friends with this guy (Ill call him 'George') during this time, and he was a lead agent for the supervisor and everyone regarded George as "the brain".  As much as I liked George, I saw that he had limits that I found frustrating.  He would always try and say that we cant make people do the job if they dont want to do it. (Its a union shop) I tried and I tried to make him and the others see the light, and to embrace the concept because it enhanced their job security and value and made it that much harder to outsource them if it came to that..as it very easily could too.. Eventually, I was able to get out of that office and back to where I wanted to be, which was closer to home and with my own union.  This guy openly cried the day I left, saying how much he would miss me and stuff. He calls me constantly at my new job, asking advise and just wanting to talk.  The problem is it interferes with my new job, and as often as I give advise and try to help him see the value if what I taught him and the others, he still falls back on the "You cant make people do what they dont want to do" routine.  It makes me sick.  But then he started doing this new thing that really pisses me off; For some reason, he started going over my head (Im considered somewhat of an authority in my field) and he is seeking to have my final decisons re-examined, because whenever he gets a customer that gives him a hard time due to my final say, he goes over me to get it looked at again.  But this makes me look bad to those over me!  It also makes it look like I didnt do a good job teaching them.. What can I do?  Why is he doing it??  <img height="246" src="http://www.tnvalleysoftware.com/files/tvs/gfx/comp_frustrated.jpg" width="203" border="0" /> (sorry for the Chairman-length post!)

ShelleBink

03-15-2006, 05:31 PM

He seems a bit obsessed and over-attached to you and the work relationship you had.  Is there some sort of way you can get a mediator to assess the situation?

Sheeplovr

03-15-2006, 05:45 PM

What can I do? ask
him out maybe you'll hit it off you already know he's into you so the
awkward does he like me phase is over so you could totally get some
action

HBox

03-15-2006, 05:49 PM

You need to be a man's man and take this into the Octagon.

Death Metal Moe

03-15-2006, 05:54 PM

HBox wrote: You need to be a man's man and take this into the Octagon. BROTHER!!!But you know he can't because he has arms like garden hose and a neck like a stack of dimes.

jax

03-15-2006, 06:06 PM

I think it sound more like he doesn't have any faith in his own abilities so he is always turning to you and when that doesn't solve the problem he goes farther up the chain.  Anything to avoid making a bad decision and be the one left holding the bag.

DeltaPin

03-15-2006, 06:29 PM

HBox wrote: You need to be a man's man and take this into the Octagon. Two men enter...One man leaves. Thunderdome, Octagon...all the same.

sr71blackbird

03-16-2006, 03:31 AM

The kind of company we work for requires that we provide for the public a certain service, but we are only obligated up to a certain point.  Beyond that point, and money comes into the picture.  What I was teaching them was how to know where taht point IS.  When they have a doubt, they send it to me, and I make the decision.  jax wrote: I think it sound more like he doesn't have any faith in his own abilities so he is always turning to you and when that doesn't solve the problem he goes farther up the chain.  Anything to avoid making a bad decision and be the one left holding the bag.The thing is, all that he has to do is let my decisions be the final word, and then he wont have to argue with the customers.  What I am afraid of, is that people over me who see this stuff to may start to look at ME as if I am imcompitant..

This message was edited by sr71blackbird on 3-16-06 @ 8:03 PM

cupcakelove

03-16-2006, 03:42 AM

Didn't you say you changed jobs?  It sucks that your work there is
being undone, but its not really your problem anymore.  I've seen
people like this before, they just can't say no to
customers/supperiors.  They're too afraid to stand up and put
their ass on the line.  Since you're gone, I just wouldn't worry
about it and concentrate on doing the best job you can where you are.

sr71blackbird

03-16-2006, 04:09 PM

I did change jobs, but I still deal with him several times a day.  Often I am scrambling at dammage control.  I know I can let him crash and burn, and maybe that will be what highlights the need for them to be specially trained or eliminated.  More likely than not, he could be eliminated very easily, and Id hate to think that they could lose their jobs, even though they have it in their power to save themselves.  Im also bothered by the idea that he is telling the public one thing, and later on, it falls on me to set the public straight. Its extremely frustrating to me..