Dealing with your parent's illness

[ShelleBink]

<p>I kinda wanted to hold back on sharing this, but lately I've been so stressed out by it, I can barely get anything done ((like assignments, and more importantly, sleep)).&nbsp; <br />I found out last Wednesday that my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.&nbsp; Thankfully, they removed a growth of it from her breast already, but she has another ((or more)) surgeries in which her lymph nodes will be removed, analyzed, and possibly more will be removed thereafter ((sorry if its confusing)).&nbsp; <br />The doctors are very optimistic, which should make me feel better.&nbsp; But for some reason, I'm still the most pessimistic about this ((I haven't said a word to my mom about being so worried, I don't want her to stress out)).&nbsp; I just have been very shocked, and even angry about the whole situation.&nbsp; For as long as I can remember, my mom's been &quot;sick.&quot;&nbsp; She's suffered a heart attack, numerous 'bouts of depression, and just having a daughter like me causes enough worry and insanity on its own.&nbsp; She and I finally have gotten to a point where we have a better relationship, ever since I've kinda grown up and become more of an adult.&nbsp; I just think I'm taking this hard because of the idea that... now that I can view my mom as more than my mother, I feel like this is scaring me into the idea of losing her.<br />Sorry for the rant, I really needed to get this off my chest, because its really starting to affect how I am.<br />And thanks for everyone who's been helping me through this, and to everyone who helped me have a good time this weekend ((and it helped to distract myself a little bit)).<br /></p>

[Jennitalia]

<p>I'm really sorry about your mom, Shelle.&nbsp; I hope she pulls through ok.</p><p>How is she holding up during this time?&nbsp; I think your feelings are pretty natural.&nbsp; I think, if you believe your mom can handle it, that you should talk to your mom about how youre feeling.&nbsp; It'll probably make you feel somewhat better, and take some of the stress off of having to hide your feelings about this.&nbsp; You may find that you both come out of this stronger and closer.&nbsp; </p>

[Death Metal Moe]

<p>I'm very sorry to hear about your mother's illness and wish her the best.&nbsp; </p><p>The closest thing I had to what you are going through is when my grandfather started to get sick.&nbsp; It really does consume you at 1st and is always in the back of your mind.&nbsp; </p><p>I guess the best thing is to trust the doctor's opinion that she has a very good chance.&nbsp; Of course, you and your family should keep on top of every aspect of her treatment because they're&nbsp;only human as well, but they're the professionals.&nbsp; They would let you know if it was bad too.</p><p>Good luck.&nbsp; Tell your mom the Metalheads are pulling for her.</p>

[ShelleBink]

<p>Well, I haven't been home since she told me of the diagnosis.&nbsp; I kinda tried to open up to my sister about this, since she's at home still and living with my parents, but she is not really one to share her feelings.&nbsp; I'm going home after my classes are done for this week ((my last class is Wednesday night)) just to be home.&nbsp; I think once I see how things are for myself I might feel better, or at least I hope that's the case.</p><p>Thanks for the well wishes though, I really appreciate it; and Moe, my mom will laugh at the Metalhead comment.&nbsp;</p>

[Don Stugots]

Shelle, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your mom. I know how hard it must be for you to focus on anything (i am in the same boat). Just be strong, and be there for her, she will need you now more than ever.

If you need to vent, then do so, I have been doing alot of that here lately.

[FUNKMAN]

<p>Shelle,</p><p>Wishing the best outcome for your Mom's health!&nbsp; Just stay strong, love each other, and be there for each other whenever you can.</p><p>Funk</p>

[ThePointer]

<p><font size="2">Shelle</font></p><p><font size="2">All my thoughts and prayers are with you.&nbsp; I went through it twice with both parents. I can understand how you are feeling. At least the doctors have said the prognosis is good. That hopefully is a comforting thought.&nbsp; Hang in there and be as strong as you can for your Mom.&nbsp; <img height="36" src="http://myspace-245.vo.llnwd.net/00481/54/23/481643245_m.jpg%20/img}" width="36" align="absBottom" border="0" /></font></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by ThePointer on 4-4-06 @ 6:25 PM</span>

[EliSnow]

<p><font face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="3">Although both of my parents are healthy, I can't relate as well as I'd like to.&nbsp; However, I myself am a cancer survivor.&nbsp; </font></p><p><font face="Arial" size="3">It sounds like your mother has the right attitude for this fight, because a positive attitude is a necessity.</font></p><p><font face="Arial" size="3">My thoughts go out to you and your mother, and hope that everything turns out well.</font></p><p><font face="Arial" size="3">Take care of yourself during this.&nbsp; A positive attitude helps with you&nbsp;as well, but I understand that it is much, much easier saying this than it is to do it.</font></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by EliSnow on 4-4-06 @ 6:16 PM</span>

[WhistlePig]

It is a scary thing worrying about losing a parent. It's especially bad the older you
(and they) get. My dad just had his 78th birthday and I can't help but think once
in a while that he won't be around much longer and it kills me.
Cherish the time you have with your mom now. You can't help but worry, but
show strength around her. She needs your support.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom. I wish you all the best.

[Tall_James]

Stay strong for her and know that a lot of people are sending her and your family&nbsp;good wishes and thoughts.

[mendyweiss]

Hoping for a speedy recovery from Mendy and the gang!

[sr71blackbird]

<p>Shelle,<br />My father had a massive heart attack on New Years and it absoluelty consumed me.&nbsp; No one wants to think about losing a parent.&nbsp; Just keep spening time with them and helping whenever you can will mean a lot to them and it will make you feel better for being there for them.&nbsp; Because as far as your control over whats happeneing in their bodies, its really out of your hands.&nbsp; But by being there, at least you can be in their hearts.&nbsp; </p>

[Gvac]

<p>Like all the others have said, you've got my thoughts and best wishes Shelle.&nbsp; And you're doing the right thing by not letting your mom see you worry.&nbsp; If the doctors think the prognosis is good keep stressing that to your mom and make her believe <em>you </em>believe it.&nbsp;&nbsp; Hang in there, kiddo.&nbsp; </p><p>And EliSnow, all the best to you for being a cancer survivor. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>

[Bulldogcakes]

Best luck Shelle, to your Mom and your family. I can relate all too well to what you're going through. They say cancer is as hard on the family as it is on the patient. I'll just offer one piece of advice. Tell her you love her, tell her everything you've told us and more. I know relationships with parents can be complicated, but do it. Let her know how much she means to you and how much you care. Because if you dont, you may never forgive yourself. Take this opportunity to become more close to her than you've ever been before. Your support will mean the world to her, will help with her recovery and give you more peace of mind. Good luck. <br />

[ShelleBink]

I just want to thank all of your for your insight and kind words.&nbsp; I really appreciate it and just feel a lot better for getting this out.<br />

[Reephdweller]

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I know it's hard though try to keep positive and keep her positive as well, I think it definitely goes a lot way towards building strength and helping recovery.

[Friday]

<p>Shelle ~</p><p>Very sorry to hear all of this... but good you can
share and vent. Its so important ... even if there is no way to
feel &quot;better&quot; about things right now... it's still cathartic to let it
out. I have learned that alot of people here are awesome
listeners <br />
</p><p>My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 12 1/2 years ago.... it
did spread to bone over the years and she now has a pre-leukemic blood
disease that she battles every day. And It hasn't been an easy
road to pay firsthand witness to her ups and her downs... (and her very
downs...) . But she is still here... and I have a closer
relationship with her now by far, thank god. As the others
said, just spend time and help her in whatever way you can. Even
just by bringing her the paper or breakfast on a sunday. You'll
never regret time spent with her...even if it isn't always sunshine and
roses. <br />
</p><p>I do hope that her treatments go ok and that she will still be
here 12 1/2 years from now too... all my best wishes, and if you need
anything just message me.&nbsp; </p><p> ~ T<br />
</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by ImprovedFriday on 4-22-06 @ 11:12 AM</span>

[sexy bastard]

<p>I am sorry to hear about&nbsp; this,&nbsp; Only thing I can say is to try to take one&nbsp;day at a time, and try to be there for support for your mom as much as you can.&nbsp; I hope she has a speedy recovery.</p>

[BoondockSaint]

I am sorry to hear this.&nbsp; My mother has suffered from a mental disease for the last 15 years.&nbsp; It's to the point now where she doesn't even speak or know who I am.&nbsp; It is tough to see your mother in an incapacitated stae.&nbsp; All I can say is let the love you have for her be the strength that helps you help her.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

<p>My dad was diagnosed with cancer when I was 20. It was such a hard period in my life. I did my best to keep my spirits up when I was around him but I'd find myself crying in my car in the hospital parking lot many a time. </p><p>The best moment I remember was the&nbsp;time we stayed up all night talking about EVERYTHING. About my mom (she died when I was 9), what birth control they used, how they lost so many babies, his experiences as a Marine in WWII, what it was like growing up during the Depression. EVERYTHING! It was so refreshing to experience my dad like an adult and not a child.</p><p>Enjoy the time you have with her right now. Take her to lunch, go shopping, gosspip. I'm sure she will be fine but it will make a world of difference in your relationship. </p>