Am I a bad person or just a huge sucker?

[Judge Smails]

<p>My wife and I have had our own house for nine years now.&nbsp; In that time EVERY family gathering has been held at our house. Every Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter, Fourth of July, family birthdays and too many backyard pool parties to ever count.&nbsp; Now, I'm an only child so its understandable that my parents would always be here since they want to see their only grandchildren.&nbsp; And my wife's father is a widower, so he's probably not up to entertaing by himself.&nbsp; The problem is with my brother-in-law and his wife.&nbsp; I think I've been to his house a total of twice in the last nine years.&nbsp; So long ago, in fact,&nbsp;that my&nbsp;kids don't even ever remember being there.</p><p>The thing is that him and his wife have just come to expect that they'll be coming here whenever there's a holiday.&nbsp; Most of the time they don't even bring anything.&nbsp; I'm not an ungracious host but this has really been eating away at me and lately it's been getting to the breaking point.&nbsp; I've told my wife that she might want to mention something to him before I do.&nbsp; She says she doesn't want to start a family war.&nbsp; We just have to accept that that is the way they are.&nbsp; Her excuse is that her brother's wife is a pack rat and that they have shit all over the house and are embarressed to have people over.&nbsp; I don't even care.&nbsp; I'd much rather be at my house than their house, but at this point it's just getting to be the principal of the thing.&nbsp; I could probably afford to thake the kids on a family vacation to Disney if I had the money that I spent on all the beer that he drank at my house over the years.</p><p>Am I just being petty or do I have a point here?</p>

[torker]

Message Board Party at Smails house!!!!

[newport king]

look at it this way, you have the nicest house in the family. you win.

[Fallon]

I can't remember ever having a family party at my house when I was younger, other than birthdays. Cookouts and Holidays were always at the same two or three places. Some people are hosts and some are guests. Somehow you've became the automatic host.<br />

[suggums]

<p>&nbsp;</p><strong>torker</strong> wrote:<br />Message Board Party at Smails house!!!!<p>&nbsp;</p><p>ill bring the guacamole and bocce set&nbsp;</p>

[mendyweiss]

<img height="125" src="http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:1ZJ6XRZpwXx72M:www.onfireforchrist.or g/images/moon%2520bounce.JPG" width="150" border="0" />I can bring the Moon Bounce.

[Judge Smails]

<strong>torker</strong> wrote:<br />Message Board Party at Smails house!!!! <p>I'd be up for a pool party this summer if the Buddays would consider coming and we could keep the guests to a manageble number.&nbsp; What the hell, everyone seems to come to my house.</p>

[WhistlePig]

When a party is announced assign stuff for people to bring. That's what my
husband's family does. Call your brother-in-law before the get together and tell
him he brings beer.

[Don Stugots]

<p>I will bring the POT.&nbsp; Not the smoking type that people get high with, I mean the type that you cook with, yes thats it, the type you cook with.</p><p>and my chick will make the brownies for us all to eat after the pot is used.&nbsp; for some reason after I use cooking pot i get the munchies.&nbsp; i dont know why.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>To answer you judge, you can say something like &quot;hey for thanksgiving can you bring the apple pies so that i dont have to run out for them.&quot; and resign to the fact that your house is the family gathering house.&nbsp; </p>

[Judge Smails]

<strong>WhistlePig</strong> wrote:<br />When a party is announced assign stuff for people to bring. That's what my husband's family does. Call your brother-in-law before the get together and tell him he brings beer. <p>Believe it or not we tried that once.&nbsp; We told them to bring dessert one Thanksgiving and they showed up empty handed (claimed they didn't have time to pick anything up).&nbsp; I had to run out to Pathmark to get whatever shit they had left before they closed or we wouldn't have any dessert.&nbsp; We stopped relying on them.&nbsp; They really are shitheads.</p>

[torker]

<strong>judge_smails</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>torker</strong> wrote:<br />Message Board Party at Smails house!!!! <p>I'd be up for a pool party this summer if the Buddays would consider coming and we could keep the guests to a manageble number.&nbsp; What the hell, everyone seems to come to my house.</p><p>SUCKER!!!</p>

[sr71blackbird]

Sounds like the brother in laws a cheap fuck.&nbsp; Id make it a point for the next few partys to be a theme and the guests have to bring something.&nbsp; If he shows without bringing anything, make it a spectacle so he feels embarressed and do it consistantly and either he wont come, or will always come with something.&nbsp; If his house is a pack rats house, Id think its not clean and wouldnt eat what they make home made, so have the theme be store bought stuff thats kind of steep, like shrimp plates, lobsters, or steaks.&nbsp; Anything thats expensive will help weed out the undesireables, and if you couple that with shame, he will feel like a grub and not want to come.&nbsp; Youll only have to do it 2 or 3 times to make the point.

[Reephdweller]

What if aliens came down and they addressed the party situation once and for all, would you be willing to give up five direct members of your family to the aliens to do what they want in exchange?

[FezPaul]

<p>http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f281/FezPaul/qaid.jpg<br /></p><p><font size="2">Judge Smails' brother-inlaw</font></p>

[Judge Smails]

<strong>Reefdweller</strong> wrote:<br />What if aliens came down and they addressed the party situation once and for all, would you be willing to give up five direct members of your family to the aliens to do what they want in exchange? <p>I wish. I'd give up my free-loading brother-in-law and his anti-circumcision preaching cunt of a wife in a heartbeat.&nbsp; And the aliens wouldn't even have to give me anything in return.</p>

[Hottub]

<p>I'm having Easter at my house this Sunday.(18 adults and 8 kids)&nbsp;We are preparing 2 or 3 things. Period. The message has been sent out!</p><p>#1, You bring the beer and wine. #2, you bring an antipasto platter. #3 bring a quiche and potatoes, etc. If you don't bring your designated item, we do without, and you will be ridiculed by the family in the days that follow.</p><p>Step it up! I am offering my home to you people. I am going to spend all day Saturday vacuuming, dusting, mowing, etc for you. The least you can do is whip up 1 or 2 dishes to bring along with you.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>BTW, I'll bring some beer and chips to&nbsp;your pool party!!!</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<p><strong><font size="1">Am I a bad person or just a huge sucker?</font></strong> </p><p><img src="http://lifeinlegacy.com/2002/0921/PageLawanda.jpg" border="0" /></p><p>I would say to never think bad of yourself when you've given so much. Just start cutting out hosting some of the holidays and occassions. There are plenty or restaurants around and you can invite people back to the house for coffee and cake if time allows...</p>

[Bulldogcakes]

<p>&nbsp;</p><strong>newport king</strong> wrote:<br />look at it this way, you have the nicest house in the family. you win.<p>&nbsp;</p><p>Or look at it this way. You get to clean up after everyone. You lose. &nbsp;</p><blockquote /><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Judge Smails]

<p>Thanks for the words of support eveyone. I'm definitely going to start being more proactive about them bringing items in the future.&nbsp; I've resigned myself to the fact that going to their house is out of the question.&nbsp; </p><p>But its not even just a matter of the food or the beer.&nbsp; It's also, like Hottub mentioned, the preparation time and the clean-up time afterward, and always being the &quot;host&quot; and being at everyone's beck and call.&nbsp; That includes Father's Day where we have my dad and my wife's dad over and he just figures he'll come over too; god forbid he had his dad over to his own house.&nbsp; Meanwhile, I'm a dad myself and I'm standing over a BBQ while he's lounging in my pool (He won't be a dad for another four months).</p><p>And if anyone still questions what a cocksucker he really is:&nbsp; I get the feeling that people are getting the idea that he's somehow the family blacksheep, down on his luck freeloader, like the brother-in-law from the Vacation movies.&nbsp; While it's true that he lives in an absolute shit-hole,&nbsp; the fact of the matter is that he's got a pretty decent job and probably makes as much as I do, if not more.&nbsp; Fehh!</p><p><br />EDIT: OH, one more thing I just remembered that really pisses me off and I need to get off my chest. And this I blame my wife also.&nbsp; When it's time for them to leave my wife usually prepares a doggy bag for everyone.&nbsp; Yeah, that's right!&nbsp; Because we usually have so much food she figures it'll go bad before we can finish it.&nbsp; I tell her that's fine with me and she gives me a look like I'm some kind of animal.&nbsp; Anyways, my blood presure's rising the more I think about it.&nbsp; Thanks for allowing me to get it off my chest.&nbsp; This is the last you'll hear from me on the topic. </p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by judge_smails on 4-12-06 @ 9:17 PM</span>

[CruelCircus]

<p>Don't humiliate anyone.&nbsp; That will only wind up back firing on you and make you look bad.</p><p>Next holiday that comes up, simply make alternate plans with your wife and kids.&nbsp; Maybe a friend is having a party of their own, or you go to a restaurant.&nbsp; Don't announce it to the rest of your family or make a thing of it.&nbsp; When it starts to get close and the &quot;expect-ers&quot; start asking, simply say &quot;We have other plans for that day.&quot;&nbsp; If they ask why, you can say something like &quot;It's just too much of a hassle.&quot;</p><p>They will be forced to fend for themselves, or not have an event.&nbsp; And you will have subtley made your point.</p>

[Death Metal Moe]

<p><strong><font size="1">Am I a bad person or just a huge sucker?</font></strong> </p><p>Maybe you're a Bad Sucker.&nbsp; That's why you always get kicked out of the car at the end of the night.</p>

[Don Stugots]

<strong>CruelCircus</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Don't humiliate anyone.&nbsp; That will only wind up back firing on you and make you look bad.</p><p>&nbsp;They will be forced to fend for themselves, or not have an event.&nbsp; And you will have subtley made your point.</p><p>Ah fuck humiliate and alienate till your hearts content.&nbsp; Subtley never works.&nbsp; Blunt, crass and abrasive works 100 times better.&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; </p>

[Judge Smails]

<p>I know I said I wasn't going to dwell on this any more but I just wanted to give an update (as if anyone cares). Well, we told them to bring dessert for Easter.&nbsp; They show up with about a dozen Pillsbury, bake at home sugar cookies and two, count 'em, TWO fucking beers!&nbsp; I never got offered one.&nbsp; Him and my father-in-law&nbsp;had them&nbsp;while we watched the Devils game.&nbsp; Then he downed nearly a bottle of my wine during dinner.&nbsp; Joyous Fucking Easter everyone!</p>