Babies are amusing [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

IamFogHat

05-31-2006, 06:48 AM

My nephew will be two in 2 months and he's in that rapidly expanding vocabulary phase.  But of course, his pronunciation isn't great and when he says 'sit' it sounds like 'shit' and when he says 'cut' it sounds like 'cock.'  Does anyone else have kids/nephews or nieces ect. that have amusing pronunciations like this?

Furtherman

05-31-2006, 06:49 AM

Babies are delicious.

Judge Smails

05-31-2006, 07:01 AM

When my son was younger he had this little game he liked to play where he would take a word and for no good reason would change the first letter.  "Cat" would become "Lat".  "Bike" would become "Jike".  To his five year old mind it was the funniest thing ever.One day we're at the deli counter at Pathmark getting some ham and American cheese.  This lovely African-American woman is serving us and I'm wearing a t-shirt from Disney World with the Winnie the Pooh characters on it.  Out of the blue my son screams out in the middle of Pathmark:  "Look daddy, a Nigger!" referring to Tigger on my shirt.  The lady gives me the nastiest look I have ever gotten.  What was I supposed to say? "Oh,  that's just a little game he plays."  Would you believe me?  She obiviously thought he must have gotten the word from me.  I was absolutely speechless.  I just took my ham and slinked away and avoided that Pathmark for months.  Yeah, kids are fucking hysterical.

Furtherman

05-31-2006, 07:40 AM

Small people are so scared... of black people.

Hottub

05-31-2006, 11:47 AM

Sheeplovr

05-31-2006, 11:52 AM

slap the kid in the face and make him say it right

angrymissy

05-31-2006, 11:56 AM

My brother is 10 years younger than me, so when he was 2 and starting to talk a lot, my sister and I taught him to say, in rapid sucession "Shit, Fuck you, Asshole".  It was great, he loved doing it because we would laugh every time.  I can still remember him sitting in his carseat shouting SHIT FUCK YOU ASSHOLE over and over and my parents flipping out.

ShelleBink

05-31-2006, 01:55 PM

I was over my neighbors house and my cousin's then 3 year old walks in proceeds to spin in a circle and say in a low voice "chicken balllllls" and walked out.  I still laugh about it 3 years later. Last 4th of July, my neighbors ((damn I spend a lot of time there)) were watching some fireworks on TV ... I guess it was fireworks out in California or something.  They showed fireworks and then cut to a couple kissing, and their 7 year old starts rolling around on the floor screaming "IT BURNNNNNNNNNNS IT BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNS"My cousin's other daughter came over to me on the same 4th of July and asked that I push her on the swing.  I was really tired and told her to ask my sister's bf ((now fiance)) to see if he would push her on the swings.  She looks at me and says "But he doesn't talk" and we all got a good laugh because well... Mike is a man of VERY few words.

ShelleBink

05-31-2006, 01:57 PM

Oh, and when meeting an ex's kids for the first time, his younger one ((he was 2)) kept laughing and saying I was a boy.

torker

05-31-2006, 02:10 PM

I welded up with fatherly pride when my daughter told me "I wanna fuck."  <img height="262" src="http://www.rusjc.ru/img/goods/27858b-1.jpg" width="398" border="0" />

jeffdwright2001

05-31-2006, 07:39 PM

torker wrote: I welded up with fatherly pride when my daughter told me "I wanna fuck."  <img height="262" src="http://www.rusjc.ru/img/goods/27858b-1.jpg" width="398" border="0" /><img height="157" src="http://www.viciousstyle.com/prodimages/chastitybuckletn.jpg" width="144" border="0" /><img height="256" src="http://www.rednal.co.uk/Pressure%20vessel%20welder.jpg" width="270" border="0" />

FUNKMAN

05-31-2006, 07:47 PM

my youngest daughter came out with "gee aunt joanie, you have a big hiney"...

FezPaul

05-31-2006, 07:56 PM

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f281/FezPaul/artlink.jpg Goin' old school.

narc

05-31-2006, 08:10 PM

How about the Ron and Fez Show Babies? They were amusing. Who's with me?

IamFogHat

05-31-2006, 08:21 PM

You know, I didn't even think about this when I started this thread, but does anyone know anything like this that they themselves said as an infant?  Shit, I have two older siblings who are way older than me, I'll bet they taught me hilarious shit.  Anyone else know of their own infantile unknowing obscenities???

FUNKMAN

05-31-2006, 08:25 PM

IamFogHat wrote: You know, I didn't even think about this when I started this thread, but does anyone know anything like this that they themselves said as an infant?  Shit, I have two older siblings who are way older than me, I'll bet they taught me hilarious shit.  Anyone else know of their own infantile unknowing obscenities??? on a road trip to florida i would switch between my parents car and my grandparents car on the way there. while i was in my grandparents car i told my grandmother what my dad had said earlier about her" grandma, my dad says you drink too much beer "    man did she get pissed off and wouldn't talk to him for a day or two. i remember my mom and dad telling me to not repeat everything i hear...

A.J.

06-01-2006, 04:47 AM

When I was about 3 or 4 I was riding in the car with my Mom and I spotted some graffitti along a bridge that said something like "For a good blow job call Sue".  So I said, "Mommy, what's a blow job?"  The look of horror on my Mom's face....

angrymissy

06-01-2006, 06:02 AM

My sister and I used to chant "Daddy lock the door and drink the beer" when we were like 5... because, if I remember correctly, the power went off in my apartment and we went to find my Dad and he was at a bar drinking with the door locked or something.  I think my mother taught us to chant it every time we passed that certain bar in town for years.  He wasn't an alcoholic or anything, but for some reason the door was locked at the bar.

This message was edited by angrymissy on 6-1-06 @ 10:03 AM

dereckfishboy

06-01-2006, 06:55 AM

My stepson was trying to per one of my cats, and the cat kept running away from him. So the kid comes in the room and says "Mom, Fuzzy is an asshole"

AngelAmy

06-01-2006, 07:49 AM

ShelleBink wrote: Mike is a man of VERY few words. But he's cool! <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/thumbup.gif" border="0" />

Jujubees2

06-01-2006, 08:16 AM

I remember driving my son to daycare one morning (he couldn't have been more than two) when a car backed out right in front of us and I hear this little voice from the back seat utter "Fucker", which is what I used to yell at people who cut me off like that.  I haven't done it again since (my son is now ten).  I just swear at them in Italian and tell my kids it means something else.

AngelAmy

06-01-2006, 08:21 AM

my mom says that when my youngest brother was born i said "can we bring him back to the dentist" because i wanted a sister....i rock!

ShelleBink

06-01-2006, 04:30 PM

FUNKMAN wrote: my youngest daughter came out with "gee aunt joanie, you have a big hiney"...  Yea, but she rocks, I wanna adopt her as my little sister.

ShelleBink

06-01-2006, 04:34 PM

AngelAmy wrote: ShelleBink wrote: Mike is a man of VERY few words. But he's cool! <img border="0" src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/thumbup.gif" />  Damn skippy, plus the rock he got my sister this past weekend makes him more gooder.That and all the alcohol he'd get for us when we were underage.  Yes, Mike rocks.

Gvac

06-01-2006, 05:07 PM

My mother tells a story of a time I nearly caused her to die of embarrassment.  I was about 3 years old and she took me shopping with her.  There was a very well dressed (and apparently wealthy) black man purchasing some high priced items.  Upon spotting him, I started yelling "Look Mommy - the garbageman is here!"  She says she wanted to die right then and there.  Before you all accuse me of being a pint-sized racist you've got to understand that growing up in the lily white suburbs of New Jersey, the garbagemen were the only African-Americans I'd ever seen.  I was fascinated by the garbage truck and would watch them through the living room window whenever they came to take the trash.

Don Stugots

06-03-2006, 04:18 AM

i wish i liked kid. i think it would be great if i had one and then i could add something to this post. but then again i think i will pass.

J.Clints

06-03-2006, 04:36 AM

If you piss my son off he will cuss you in a heart beat. The sad thing is that he uses it right. It is not wasted at all. It is also very controled, never used around anyone but me.

This message was edited by jclintsma on 6-3-06 @ 8:37 AM

ChimneyFish

06-03-2006, 12:20 PM

Babies are evil.<img height="96" src="http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c217/luxa1/avatar11224_1.jpg" width="127" border="0" />

Don Stugots

06-03-2006, 01:10 PM

<hr color="cococo" align="left">ChimneyFish wrote: Babies are evil.<img height="96" src="http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c217/luxa1/avatar11224_1.jpg" width="127" border="0" /><hr color="cococo" align="left">

i agree. great picture.

MadMatt

06-03-2006, 01:23 PM

ChimneyFish wrote: Babies are evil.<img height="96" src="http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c217/luxa1/avatar11224_1.jpg" width="127" border="0" />I used to think that, but then my daughter came along.  How could this little cherub be evil...<img height="218" src="http://img356.imageshack.us/img356/5586/anaincrib6ku.jpg" width="281" border="0" />