Wedding Gift Etiquette

[feralBoy]

<p>Ok.&nbsp; So I was invited to my cousins wedding, but I will be out of the country the day of the wedding.&nbsp; Now, I don't really know this cousin well, but I know I am still supposed to give a gift.&nbsp; </p><p>Here's my dilemma.&nbsp; The reply card, is this tiny little card, that you just put if you are coming or not.&nbsp; Also, the address is for the&nbsp;girls parents.&nbsp; I never met this girl that my cousin is marrying.&nbsp; So, I sure as shit don't know the parents.</p><p>Do I just fold up a check and put it in this envelope?&nbsp; Who do I make the check out to?&nbsp; Do I write a note?&nbsp; Who do I address the note to?&nbsp; What should I give?&nbsp; I was thinking 150.&nbsp; I'm not even fucking getting a drink out of this shit.&nbsp; </p><p>Excuse my wedding ignorance, but I've only been to a couple.&nbsp; I appreciate any help.</p>

[Don Stugots]

send them 50.00 check made out to your cousin wish them well and enjoy your trip.

[FezPaul]

<strong><font face="courier new,courier,monospace" size="2">Do you get the money back if they get divorced?</font></strong>

[Don Stugots]

<hr color="cococo" align="left"></font><strong>FezPaul</strong> wrote:<br><strong><font face="courier new,courier,monospace" size="2">Do you get the money back if they get divorced?</font></strong><hr color="cococo" align="left"><p></p>

i didnt give back a dime after the first one. Since the second one was over before it started there were only engagement gifts, which she kept. Third times the charm.

[Fallon]

Gotta loooove the Drake!<br />

[Snoogans]

Give them a set of Cutco<br />

[suggums]

<p>do they have a website? seems like thats all the rage these days, and if they do, it will probably link to an amazon/crate &amp; barrel type of wish list that you can pick and choose from. </p><p>if not, i got nothin </p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by suggums on 6-3-06 @ 11:58 PM</span>

[FUNKMAN]

<p>gotta go with Stugots, fifty is nifty</p><p>and make sure you get a favor&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" /></p>

[reeshy]

Ask Al Dukes what to do...he's an expert!!!!!!!!<br />

[Tenbatsuzen]

<p>I didn't know you were supposed to send the gift with the response card - I thought you were supposed to send it closer to the wedding, separately.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I'm kind of in the same situation.&nbsp; I'm sending 100 bucks for my mother's best friend's son.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Marc with a c]

i think $35 should do the trick.<br />

[FezPaul]

<p><strong><font face="courier new,courier,monospace" size="2">Take whatever amount you were going to give them, and put it in a savings account, and after one year, if they're still married, give them that with intrest.</font></strong></p><p><strong><font face="Courier New" size="2">Or, do what I do, give nobody anything, unless they're in a situation where they really need some help.</font></strong></p><p><strong><font face="Courier New" size="2">To me, giving a &quot;gift&quot; to someone you barely know because society says you should is silly.</font></strong></p>

[feralBoy]

<strong>Tenbatsuzen</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I didn't know you were supposed to send the gift with the response card - I thought you were supposed to send it closer to the wedding, separately.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I'm kind of in the same situation.&nbsp; I'm sending 100 bucks for my mother's best friend's son.</p><p>That's a good idea.&nbsp; Maybe i'll send a separate wedding card with a gift.&nbsp; That kinda fixes the whole problem.&nbsp; Weddings really are the WORST.&nbsp; </p>

[Don Stugots]

<hr color="cococo" align="left"></font><strong>Tenbatsuzen</strong> wrote:<br><p>I didn't know you were supposed to send the gift with the response card - I thought you were supposed to send it closer to the wedding, separately.</p><p> </p><p>I'm kind of in the same situation. I'm sending 100 bucks for my mother's best friend's son.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr color="cococo" align="left"><p></p>

if no one disagrees, i am appointing myself Wedding Etiquette Guru for no other reason than that i have done it a few times.

it is fine to send the gift with your response card if you are not attending. the money may come in handy as the couple spends $$$ like water as the day gets closer. they may realize that they new summer clothes for their trip or an extra piece of luggage.

[Gvac]

<p>The old saying is that you have a year to send a gift, which I never understood.&nbsp; If you don't send the check with the reply you'll never remember to send anything.&nbsp; </p><p>One thing I won't do is send a check to a distant relative who I've hardly ever seen.&nbsp; I've gotten invites to weddings from second and third cousins that I couldn't pick out of a lineup and have met only a few times in my entire life.&nbsp; These invitations actually anger me because I feel I'm being invited solely for the purpose of extorting money out of me.&nbsp; Fuck 'em.&nbsp; They get nothing but a negative response from me.&nbsp;</p>

[nevnut]

<p>My 19 year-old niece was suppose to get married next week but was thankfuly called off 3 days ago.</p><p>This &quot;wedding&quot; allready cost me $70 2 weeks ago for a bridal shower gift and another couple hundred was planned for wedding gift and food for the reception because my wife volunteered to help self-cater.</p><p>I'm so fucking glad it got cancelled, not just for my finances, but getting married at 19 is just fuckin' dumb, IMO!!</p>

[SatCam]

<strong>reeshy</strong> wrote:<br>Ask Al Dukes what to do...he's an expert!!!!!!!!<br /><p></p>

Slip 30 into your parents card and burn him a CD

[feralBoy]

<p>Thanks for the help guys.&nbsp; Maybe instead of the al dukes, i'll go with the Earl.&nbsp; FeralBoy + 2.&nbsp; </p>

[ozzie]

<strong>suggums</strong> wrote:<br /><p>do they have a website? seems like thats all the rage these days, and if they do, it will probably link to an amazon/crate &amp; barrel type of wish list that you can pick and choose from. </p><p>Exactly.&nbsp; Most couples are registered somewhere.&nbsp; Try one of those, or <a href="http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/regHome.asp?order_num=-1" target="_self">Bed, Bath and Beyond</a>.&nbsp; Most have a Bridal &amp; Gift Registry.&nbsp; You can type in either the bride or groom's last name to see if they are registered, and if so, it should give you a list of the crap they've picked out, and what hasn't been purchased yet.</p><p>As we learned in &quot;Bull Durham&quot;, &quot;Okay, well, uh... candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let's get two! Go get 'em.&quot;</p>

[Don Stugots]

<hr color="cococo" align="left"></font><strong>nevnut</strong> wrote:<br><p>My 19 year-old niece was suppose to get married next week but was thankfuly called off 3 days ago.</p><p>This "wedding" allready cost me $70 2 weeks ago for a bridal shower gift and another couple hundred was planned for wedding gift and food for the reception because my wife volunteered to help self-cater.</p><p>I'm so fucking glad it got cancelled, not just for my finances, but getting married at 19 is just fuckin' dumb, IMO!!</p><hr color="cococo" align="left"><p></p>

was she knocked up? can we see what she looks like?

[nevnut]

<strong>STUGOTS1</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>nevnut</strong> wrote:<br /><p>My 19 year-old niece was suppose to get married next week but was thankfuly called off 3 days ago.</p><p>This &quot;wedding&quot; allready cost me $70 2 weeks ago for a bridal shower gift and another couple hundred was planned for wedding gift and food for the reception because my wife volunteered to help self-cater.</p><p>I'm so fucking glad it got cancelled, not just for my finances, but getting married at 19 is just fuckin' dumb, IMO!!</p><p>&nbsp;</p>was she knocked up? can we see what she looks like? <p>No, she wasn't knocked up, and if I start posting pics of my niece, my wife will fucking kill me.</p><p>She's a virgin and won't cut loose till she gets married, he's in the army headed overseas and I think got tired of waiting for it after she got mad 'cause he went out drinkin' with his buddies the other night.</p><p>Obviously too young and stupid to be gettin' married!!</p>

[mdr55]

But not too young to serve your country. Go figure.<br />

[Don Stugots]

hey if a fetus could pull the trigger they too would be over there.

[JustJon]

<p><img width="270" height="270" border="0" src="http://redbirdnation.blogspot.com/bulldurham.jpg" /></p><p>Candlesticks.&nbsp; Candlesticks make a good gift.&nbsp;</p>

[walking joint]

<p>just reply no and send them a seperate card closer to the wedding date.&nbsp; for a cousin you really don't know $150 seems like alot....especially if you aren't attending.&nbsp; you save them $100 just by&nbsp;replying 'no'&nbsp;and more if you are invited with date...so $75 seems okay or if you feel that is to little send $100.&nbsp; </p><p>its funny how much wedding gifts vary from person to person.&nbsp; some of my closest friends didn't give much, but people who were fringe invites came up big.&nbsp; the biggest suprise for me were my parents friends who were invited only b/c my parents wanted them there...they gave good $$$.&nbsp; probably why my parents are invited to all of their kids weddings/events and vice versa.&nbsp; </p>

[Furtherman]

You don't know this guy very well, and you're not going.&nbsp; Check NO, and that's the end of that.&nbsp; You shouldn't feel obligated to send any money.&nbsp;

[QueensideDave]

I just got married 2 months ago and if someone we hardly knew did not come and did not send a gift we did not care at all. They know as little about you as you know about them, if its a very distant relative they wont even notice.

My parents on the other hand had a problem with 1 or 2 people who didnt send gifts but that has nothing to do with me.