Don't Fart!

[sr71blackbird]

<p>Things were going good for me until lunch, when I went to the cafeteria my company has and I got some roasted turkey and mashed potatoes and steamed brocholli.&nbsp; The turkey tasted like it came out of a can and they then rasted it.&nbsp; I didnt like it at all.</p><p>About an hour later, I needed to go to the bathroom..BAD <br />I am kind of squeemish using the bathrooms on my crowded floor, so I went upstairs and there were people in there too.&nbsp; So I went another floor above that one and that was also full.&nbsp; I went to a different building where I finally found and empty bathroom and just barely had my pants down and sitting when my bowels let go and had a massive attack of the runs.&nbsp; It was horrible.&nbsp; <br />Afterward I went back to my desk and tossed a handfull of Immodium and asked this woman next to me who also had the turkey if she was feeling ok, and she said she was, and I told her what happend and she mentioned that she also thought the turkey tasted like it was canned.&nbsp; She has a sensative stomach too, and she got scared when I told her about my problem, and she has to take a train home!&nbsp; I left work early to go home, and just barely made it in the door when I had to go again, and as I am running to the bathroom, I am feeling the need to fart and I know if I did, it would be a mess, so I just bolted for the bathroom and again just barely made it without an accident.<br /><br />So now I am eating rice and hoping it passes (the sickness that is!)<br /><br /><img height="400" src="http://us.inmagine.com/img/inspirestock/ispc013/ispc013051.jpg" width="265" border="0" /></p>

[Judge Smails]

<img src="http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a152/Hitman_Nick/Goodthread/best_thread_ever.jpg" border="0" />

[El Mudo]

That picture made me giggle more than the story

[Don Stugots]

<p>a few years ago my family and i went out to a nice place for christmas eve dinner.&nbsp; a few hours later i had the same problem of &quot;oh my god my stomach is going to explode.&quot;&nbsp; well it did, that not and all day christmas.&nbsp; i had to go to the emergency room two days later since i was not keeping anything down or in.&nbsp; the ER gave me butt plugs, which i refused.&nbsp; i stayed home from work until new years eve.&nbsp; i walked in the office, an older female coworker hugged me and i farted and made a huge mess all over myself.&nbsp; i ran to the bathroom for damage control, cleaned up as best i could went home, tossed the clothes in the trash and showered.&nbsp; it wasnt not until i sharted that i felt better.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>So fart already.&nbsp; who cares if it stinks or leaves a snail trail down your leg.&nbsp; it feels good.</p>

[Hottub]

<p><img src="http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/8854/poopmypants5ow.jpg" border="0" /></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by Hottub on 7-6-06 @ 7:07 PM</span>

[Furtherman]

<strong>STUGOTS1</strong> wrote:<br /><p>i walked in the office, an older female coworker hugged me and i farted and made a huge mess all over myself.&nbsp; i ran to the bathroom for damage control, cleaned up as best i could went home, tossed the clothes in the trash and showered.&nbsp; it wasnt not until i sharted that i felt better.</p><p>Holy shit that is fucking hilarious!!!!!!&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </p>

[sr71blackbird]

<strong>Furtherman</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>STUGOTS1</strong> wrote:<br /><p>i walked in the office, an older female coworker hugged me and i farted and made a huge mess all over myself.&nbsp; i ran to the bathroom for damage control, cleaned up as best i could went home, tossed the clothes in the trash and showered.&nbsp; it wasnt not until i sharted that i felt better.</p><p>Holy shit that is fucking hilarious!!!!!!&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </p><p>LOL!</p>

[Don Stugots]

<strong>sr71blackbird</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Furtherman</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>STUGOTS1</strong> wrote:<br /><p>i walked in the office, an older female coworker hugged me and i farted and made a huge mess all over myself.&nbsp; i ran to the bathroom for damage control, cleaned up as best i could went home, tossed the clothes in the trash and showered.&nbsp; it wasnt not until i sharted that i felt better.</p><p>Holy shit that is fucking hilarious!!!!!!&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </p><p>LOL!</p><p>its all true.&nbsp; it was new years eve 2001 into 2002.&nbsp; i stayed home that night and cried.&nbsp; i swore that my lfie couldnt get much worse.&nbsp; then i got married for a second time, and divorced too.&nbsp; thats when this very message board seemed that the cool club that i couldnt hang with.&nbsp; it feels like a lifetime ago.&nbsp; </p>

[PhishHead]

be glad you guys dont have a stomach disease like me...i have to spend 3 hours in the bathroom in the morning to make sure i can get to work by 9am<br />

[Stankfoot]

<p><img border="0" src="http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a350/stankfoot/oops.jpg" /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Judge Smails]

<p>Just for the hell of it, I did an image search for &quot;shart&quot; and found that there is a Bollywood movie by that name, which is pretty ironic because Indian food always seems to have that effect on me.</p><p><img src="http://www.bhsoundmedia.ch/newbilder/12/1261/126128b.jpg" border="0" /></p>

[OGC]

<p><font face="times new roman,times,serif" size="4">Go ahead, I dare you ....</font></p><p><img src="http://img102.imageshack.us/img102/6901/pullmyfingersam7vw.jpg" border="0" /></p>

[FUNKMAN]

<p><strong><font size="1">Don't Fart!</font></strong> </p><p>pucker that sucker</p>

[SatCam]

Don't fart<br />
I know just what you're spraying<br />
So please stop defecating<br />
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

<img src='http://www.openmusic.ru/articles-respond-enciclo/0029-no_doubt/0029-no_doubt_01.jpg' border=0>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by SatCam on 7-6-06 @ 11:19 PM</span>

[A.J.]

<strong>sr71blackbird</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Things were going good for me until lunch, when I went to the cafeteria my company has and I got some roasted turkey and mashed potatoes and steamed brocholli.&nbsp; </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>So Thursday is turkey day in YOUR office cafeteria too, huh?</p>

[walking joint]

if i had to shit that bad i'm going in the trash can at my desk before I would leave to go to another building.&nbsp;

[Sheeplovr]

<p><span class="postbody">
Don't fart<br /> I know just what you're spraying<br /> So please stop defecating<br /> Don't tell me 'cause it hurts</span></p><p>I was thinking the same thing but i decided not to post it thinkign nobody would like it now i know i was wrong&nbsp;</p>