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angeladi

07-12-2006, 05:14 AM

nevermind

This message was edited by angeladi on 7-13-06 @ 1:43 PM

Jennitalia

07-12-2006, 05:25 AM

sounds like you may be a little too clingy and attach to people very quickly.  you're being too hard on yourself.  you're 20 years old and have the world by the balls...so these two relationships didnt work...most relationships at your age never end up panning out.  you dont need to be in a relationship to feel secure or feel happy.  go out and meet new people.  keep yourself busy because the more you sit and think about the what ifs and couldve beens, you'll just end up with sadness (i once heard that from frank the frowner).  this new guy most likely has his own demons he's trying to battle, especially with having to go away, and in that case, he should put himself first.   just let it go, and move on.

Death Metal Moe

07-12-2006, 05:31 AM

There's never anyone you can't live without.  Don't ever let other people have that much of a hold on your heart and emotions.

Jujubees2

07-12-2006, 05:52 AM

Maybe he just didn't want to do that long distance relationship thing and was saving you from having to go through it too.  I mean three years is a long time to be separated and people do change with time.If you're lonely maybe you can hook up with Gwenypoo.  She's looking for some ass <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smoke.gif" border="0" />

HeyGuy

07-12-2006, 07:02 AM

I agree with jenatalia, sounds like your too clingy and that you would prob get attatched to any guy you hang out with. What I would do is go out with your friends and meet new people. Not great advice but its a simple answer to a simple question. But this time do not get so close to him too fast and do not hang out with his friends unless he invites you and he is there too. Good luck

angeladi

07-12-2006, 07:52 AM

so how do you not get attached to people so easily?? does anyone know why im like this??? or what causes this?

KC2OSO

07-12-2006, 07:59 AM

angeladi wrote: does anyone know why im like this??? or what causes this? Patrice would ask:  Who is the most important person in the world to you?

Furtherman

07-12-2006, 08:01 AM

First of all, you got married at 18.  Second of all, you were seeing a guy then started seeing his friend?  And this situation is imploding on you?  What did you expect? Sorry to be frank, but what you need is a few years not attached to anyone.  You're clingy because you don't even know yourself, you're letting others define you.  Wipe the slate clean.

angeladi

07-12-2006, 10:24 AM

the most important person to me is my 10month old son Jeremy

KC2OSO

07-12-2006, 07:26 PM

Well congrats on your new son.  Sounds like you have your hands full but you'll be fine.  It's good you left the abuser.  That took a lot of guts but it sort of sounds like you got in another bad situation. By asking who is your most important person I was thinking about a rant Patrice O was on this weekend's OnA replay.  He was so dead right.  He said he was number one, his mom was two or three and his chick was four!  It sounds selfish but it's not.  It's the only way to survive.  The answer should have been "you".  You should be 1st on the list always.I understand about putting your kids above you and that's understandable.  We have a son who I would lay my life down for in a second.  This isn't about that though.   This is more about giving enough of a shit about yourself to make better choices.Furtherman was right on in saying that you might want to take some time to develop as a person on your own.  That will help your self esteem.It doesn't surprise me though.  Our culture breeds dependence.  Every song is about how I Can't Live Without You and bullshit like that.  Fuck that.  You can live and do just fine on your own.  You have everything you need. If you can get to a point where you are ok on your own and in a relationship at the same time, you're on your way.  Good luck bro.

suggums

07-12-2006, 07:36 PM

gwen? we need you

spoon

07-12-2006, 08:31 PM

angeladi wrote: the most important person to me is my 10month old son Jeremy Ditto for me.  Your son Jeremy ranks big #1 here too!  #2 for you should be your English teach.  Those who can baby, those who can!

WhistlePig

07-12-2006, 09:18 PM

You should be concentrating on making a life for your son, not bringing all this
drama of new boyfriends and breakups and crap into his life. What is your son
doing while you're partying and screwing around? I suggest growing up and not
dating for several years. You have someone else to think about now, not just
yourself.

angeladi

07-13-2006, 07:10 AM

well as for the person above, when i would go out was when my son was visiting grandma for the weekend, or for the day, (my ex's mom) so dont make it sound like i neglect my child b.c i dont. and everyone mother or not desrves a break and some away time. as for the boyfiend thing, my son never met anyone, he will not meet any other male figures!!! he has a father and maybe his dad is a piece of shit twoards me but he loves his son.my son has a dad, im not looking for one for him, nor bringing other males around him at all.....

Death Metal Moe

07-13-2006, 07:12 AM

I only have one request:Please get rid of the drama so you and your son don't end up on some early afternoon talk show.  This is shaping up like a lot of Maury stories I've heard.

angeladi

07-13-2006, 07:21 AM

no i know who the father of my son is!!!!!!!!!

WhistlePig

07-13-2006, 08:47 AM

angeladi wrote: ÿwell as for the
person above, when i would go out was when my son was visiting grandma for
the weekend, or for the day, (my ex's mom) so dont make it sound like i neglect
my child b.c i dont. and everyone mother or not desrves a break and some away
time. as for the boyfiend thing, my son never met anyone, he will not meet any
other male figures!!! he has a father and maybe his dad is a piece of shit
twoards me but he loves his son.my son has a dad, im not looking for one for
him, nor bringing other males around him at all.....

This is good you're not bringing your dates around your boy. But you're not
there emotionally for him if you are "totally lost without" this "T" guy and are
"crying and crying." That's why you shouldn't be dating when you have a child
that needs your full attention. Besides, screwing around with these new guys
you're going to end up pregnant again and there will be another child in this
world with either no dad or a visiting dad. Take several years to grow up
emotionally before you date again. You are still quite young and it will be
difficult, but your boy will thank you.

Jennitalia

07-13-2006, 09:13 AM

and next time you do have sex, use one of these: <img height="250" src="http://www.ripnroll.com/images/trojansamplerlrg.jpg" width="252" border="0" />

angeladi

07-13-2006, 09:32 AM

as far as the pregnant thing goes, ive been on birthcontrol for months now, and we did use a condom

TheStonedAnt

07-14-2006, 05:58 AM

Angelladi, what do you look like?...<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/king.gif" border="0" />

Death Metal Moe

07-14-2006, 06:02 AM

I see you took your whole story down and changed the name of this thread.I hope you're not pissed at us, I think everyone was very nice but honest in here with your story.

angeladi

07-14-2006, 07:19 AM

im not mad at anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess in a weird way im parranoid about my ex husband somehow reading this and knowing its me, hes kinda crazy

Tall_James

07-14-2006, 07:21 AM

I thought this was the Nirvana thread.

angeladi

07-14-2006, 07:23 AM

but here is a new question for all of you......... Is it wrong to not really care about this guy anymore???? i kinda see things in a new light, i guess since i am 20 i just want to go out and play the field for a while......... i want to see what else life has in store for me, is that bad???

Death Metal Moe

07-14-2006, 07:27 AM

It's not wrong to not care.  If that's how you honestly feel, it's ok.

angeladi

07-14-2006, 07:32 AM

ya thats how i feel, i guess i got attached to him b/c he was such a nice guy and after being with such an ass, i guess it was nice to be with somone diff. as of now though i rather be alone for a while and just meet people........ at least that way there is no possibility of hearbreak!!!!! i mean i care about the guy alot i just dont care about the past situation anymore. its kinda like"suxs it didnt work, but oh well" i just want to have fun, and experiece life for once, and try to4get about the past with my ex husband

Jujubees2

07-14-2006, 07:38 AM

Angeladi, you're only 20 and have a lot of life to live.  Go out and find things that you enjoy and that make you happy and don't worry about "finding" someone.  And when you least expect it, someone will come along.  As a wise person once told me, "you can't be happy with someone else until you're happy with yourself."

angeladi

07-14-2006, 07:42 AM

ya i know, and its strange but its like everytime i begin to get to know myself a little better, someone comes along and i kinda get attached!!! it suxs

Jujubees2

07-14-2006, 07:53 AM

angeladi wrote: ya i know, and its strange but its like everytime i begin to get to know myself a little better, someone comes along and i kinda get attached!!! it suxsYeah, I know it sucks. I was with a woman for almost three years, lived together for a year, and thought she was the one.  So when she dumped me I was super depressed and just shut things down for a while.  After a year or two, I decided to go out and do things that I always wanted to do so I took up biking and started to play hockey.  And a few years later, I met my wife-to-be.  If I had met her right after the break-up chances are we wouldn't be together today.

angeladi

07-14-2006, 08:25 AM

see now the problem is i have this guy that really wants to date me, hes honestly not my type hes too much of a bad boy, but hes sweet and his intentions are good, hes frineds with my uncle. and i guess hes the type of guy i can picture myself hanging out with but not ever as a boyfriend, my standards are set real high especially after my x husband, and is it true that 9 out of 10 times a guy isnt trying to be ur friend??? he wants to be more or simply wants more?? i dont get why ive always had that problem??? i can never have a guy friend who is just a friend they always end up "having feelings" why ????

Jujubees2

07-14-2006, 08:42 AM

Harry: You realize of course that we can never be friends. Sally: Why not? Harry: What I'm saying is... and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form, is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.----Sally: How do you know? Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive, he always wants to have sex with her. Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.Harry: Nuh, you pretty much wanna nail'em too. <img height="187" src="http://www.sunnycorner.com/movies/featured/harrysally/album/hswalk.jpg" width="250" border="0" />Hate to admit it but men, especially those in the late teens and early 20's, are testosterone driven (man, I miss those days).  That's not to say you can't be "friends" with a guy.  It's just that he might have a different definition of the term "friend".

This message was edited by Jujubees2 on 7-14-06 @ 12:43 PM

angeladi

07-14-2006, 09:21 AM

ha ha thanks, that makes alot of sense!!!!!!!!!!!! sucks but at least ur honest

douchebagsean

07-14-2006, 09:31 AM

Tall_James wrote: I thought this was the Nirvana thread.     nice Tall James 
<img border="0" src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/clap.gif" /> <blockquote />

angeladi

07-14-2006, 09:48 AM

so here is my question,y is it that its so much easier for a guy to handel a break up??????? like it just dosent affect them at all, girls we seem to go thru alot more, we still want to speak to them and we miss them. and guys dont need or have the need to speak 2u anymore and they dont miss you, i dont get it?????

Jujubees2

07-14-2006, 09:56 AM

angeladi wrote: so here is my question,y is it that its so much easier for a guy to handel a break up??????? like it just dosent affect them at all, girls we seem to go thru alot more, we still want to speak to them and we miss them. and guys dont need or have the need to speak 2u anymore and they dont miss you, i dont get it?????I can't really answer that question since I was always devestated by break-ups (mostly because I was the one dumped).   I haven't heard from my former girlfriend for almost 20 years and there are times I think of her and drop her a note but I've never heard back from her.Also, some guys might hurt, but they don't want to show it or let you know they're hurting

angeladi

07-14-2006, 10:22 AM

oh, see that surprises me b/c most guys seem to not care. by the way not to be rude but how old are you?

Jujubees2

07-14-2006, 10:24 AM

angeladi wrote: oh, see that surprises me b/c most guys seem to not care. by the way not to be rude but how old are you?Oh, you're not rude.  I'm 43 (but I feel much older at times).  The break-ups were when I was in my 20's.

terry1979

07-14-2006, 10:25 AM

Jujubees2 wrote: angeladi wrote: oh, see that surprises me b/c most guys seem to not care. by the way not to be rude but how old are you?Oh, you're not rude.   Yes she is.

GwEnYpOo

07-15-2006, 10:49 AM

Tall_James wrote: I thought this was the Nirvana thread. me toooo!!!

Don Stugots

07-15-2006, 01:31 PM

Tall_James wrote: I thought this was the Nirvana thread. me too, because for some reason lately i have been on a Nirvana kick.  maybe its my teen angst and self loathing i have been feeling. listen, i am living proof that you can get over any heart breaking loss and relationship failures.  i have had 2 faild marriages.  no big deal.  you live you learn you move on you grow you love again.

narc

07-15-2006, 07:32 PM

<hr color="cococo" align="left">angeladi wrote: so here is my question,y is it that its so much easier for a guy to handel a break up??????? like it just dosent affect them at all, girls we seem to go thru alot more, we still want to speak to them and we miss them. and guys dont need or have the need to speak 2u anymore and they dont miss you, i dont get it?????<hr color="cococo" align="left">

For me, this all depends on how I felt during the relationship, and after. If I felt like there's no future, then it's not as hard for me to get over. I may miss them and all, but it's just not the same. 
There are also people I still pine for, but I'd never call or do anything like that. Too shy, too afraid of rejection.