Different Wedding Question [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

JimBeam

07-14-2006, 11:08 AM

I just recently got engaged and have begun the process of looking for a place to have the wedding.We've come to find out, although we proably already knew it, that a Friday night or Sunday wedding is cheaper than a Saturday one.We're still shootinmg for a Saturday one but we're split on which makes more sense a Friday night or Sunday day/night.Her opinion is that if we have it on a Sunday that people have to go to work the next day.My counter point was that people will have to leave work early in order to make a Friday night wedding.Opinions ?

angrymissy

07-14-2006, 11:10 AM

We did it on a Friday because my friends and family like to drink heavily at weddings, and would not want to have to go to work the next day.  Our wedding started at 7PM, so hopefully people didn't have to take a lot of time off from work.  Saturday was $$$ or I would have done it on a Sat.

Jujubees2

07-14-2006, 11:17 AM

My wife and I chose a Sunday afternoon but we did it on a holiday weekend (Labor Day) so that people would have a day to get home.

EliSnow

07-14-2006, 11:22 AM

Friday beats Sunday.  Yes, they may have to leave work early (which may be a pain), but that is a much lesser pain than not being able to fully enjoy the festivities because you have to work the next day.We got married on Friday for that reason.

Tenbatsuzen

07-14-2006, 11:27 AM

If I had a choice between the Friday night/Sunday wedding, I'd go with Friday.  The reason being is two fold - it still works as a "weekend" night, where Sunday just stinks.  Yes, people have to leave work early on a Friday, but it may not make that big of a deal depending on the type of year.  (Some offices close a bit earlier on Summer Fridays) One idea for a Friday wedding is having the ceremony and the reception in one area, and that way, you can get away with bumping it later (7pm wedding).  The second reason is Honeymoon related - you don't want to leave immediately for your honeymoon after the wedding.

JimBeam

07-14-2006, 11:31 AM

We've actually just started looking, mostly my fiance and her mom and I'll go once they've had places narrowed down, and I've seen how crazy the difference is between Saturday and any other day.We found one place that's local to us ( Katonah in Westchester County NY ) thats really nice and failry cheap but its outdoors and I really dont want to even think of putting ourselves in harm's way as it pertains to rain and/or bad weather.Plus the food would have to be catered outside because the place is mostly like gardens and stuff like that and doesnt actually make the food.

terry1979

07-14-2006, 11:32 AM

Friday's are definitely better.  I don't know if you are catholic or whatever but if you are you can do the church at 4, you do not have the 3 cut off that you would on Saturday or Sunday because of 5 p.m. mass, and have the cocktail hour at 7:30.  You will probably have a bunch of people who can't make the mass, but as long as close friends and family are there, who cares?  This will also give you enough time to get pictures out of the way so you can actually go to your own cocktail party, which is probably the best part of the weddin....at least that is my opinion.

JimBeam

07-14-2006, 11:35 AM

Friday does seem to make more sense because you have family/friends from out of town and you want to spend time with them.We don't plan on going on our honeymoon right after the wedding.Even if we did get married on a Staurday we probably wouldnt leave until Tuesday or so.But geez we're not even at that part yet.

Snoogans

07-14-2006, 11:35 AM

HAVE IT ON THE BEACH

terry1979

07-14-2006, 11:45 AM

JimBeam wrote: But geez we're not even at that part yet.That is what we thought.  We thought we were just going to wait a few montha and leisurely check places out....that is what we though, once her parents got involved we may not as well have even been involved.  We wanted, a small affair (75 people or so) on a beach somewhere with informal attire and under no circumstances did we want to get married in a catholic church.  Less than a month into the engagement we have a hall booked in New Rochelle (Glen Island Harbor Club), the guest list is 220 people, we are meeting with an f-ing priest this weekend to book the church, and now the old man told me we have to start looking at bands.  THE WEDDING IS 14 MONTHS AWAY!!!  We lost every f-ing battle, it was pathetic.  They pulled the "she is our only daughter, we always pictured it this way, blah, blah."  It was a slaughter....he's paying for it though, so I guesss I get the last laugh.

angrymissy

07-14-2006, 11:56 AM

JimBeam wrote: We've actually just started looking, mostly my fiance and her mom and I'll go once they've had places narrowed down, and I've seen how crazy the difference is between Saturday and any other day.We found one place that's local to us ( Katonah in Westchester County NY ) thats really nice and failry cheap but its outdoors and I really dont want to even think of putting ourselves in harm's way as it pertains to rain and/or bad weather.Plus the food would have to be catered outside because the place is mostly like gardens and stuff like that and doesnt actually make the food.Hey, which place in Katonah are you looking at?  I got a great deal at my hall in New Rochelle (Surf Club), by doing it in late March... if you need any Westchester suggestions send me a PM, I just did my wedding in Westchester a few months ago.PS - you are going to go f'ing crazy if you have to get outside caterers and all that crap.  Mine had a per person charge, and they handled everything, table linens, set up, the rehersal dinner, the toasts, food, cake, beverage, etc.  It made it a LOT easier because I was just dealing with the hall for all of that crap.

This message was edited by angrymissy on 7-14-06 @ 4:00 PM

angrymissy

07-14-2006, 11:58 AM

terry1979 wrote: JimBeam wrote: But geez we're not even at that part yet.That is what we thought.  We thought we were just going to wait a few montha and leisurely check places out....that is what we though, once her parents got involved we may not as well have even been involved.  We wanted, a small affair (75 people or so) on a beach somewhere with informal attire and under no circumstances did we want to get married in a catholic church.  Less than a month into the engagement we have a hall booked in New Rochelle (Glen Island Harbor Club), the guest list is 220 people, we are meeting with an f-ing priest this weekend to book the church, and now the old man told me we have to start looking at bands.  THE WEDDING IS 14 MONTHS AWAY!!!  We lost every f-ing battle, it was pathetic.  They pulled the "she is our only daughter, we always pictured it this way, blah, blah."  It was a slaughter....he's paying for it though, so I guesss I get the last laugh.I hope they are paying for it... Glen Island Harbor club is freaking $$$$$$$

terry1979

07-14-2006, 12:04 PM

you bet your ass they are paying for it, they are inviting people we have never even met. 

JimBeam

07-14-2006, 12:11 PM

We're looking at a place called Caramoor in Katonah ( I think its right near Martha Stewart's house ) :<a href="http://www.caramoor.org/html/facilityrentals.htm#gardens">http://www.caramoor.org/html/facilityrentals.htm#gardens</a>My fiance really doesnt wanna do the surf club places because she wants it to be a little different than what we've already been to. A lot of friends and family have done it up and down that strip in New Rochelle. One of her really good family friends got married at Glenn Island a few years ago and we loved it.We're also going to look into having it at West Point as I understand a lot of people do that ( although I'm not sure what's involved ).Other choices are Inn @ Candlewood in Brookfield CT, View On The Hudson ( maybe ) on the other side of the Tappan Zee, and some place down by Battery Park.She really likes that place down near Battery Park but I dont want friends and family from out of town to have to pay for hotels and the like in NYC.I'm kinda just letting her preview the places and unless I really object to it she can decide where we have it.

Lumber

07-14-2006, 12:13 PM

Friday!

terry1979

07-14-2006, 12:18 PM

Brooklyn Botanical Gardens is supposed to be great for weddings.  That is what we would have loved to do, but of course that got vetoed.

Jujubees2

07-14-2006, 12:25 PM

That sucks that the future in-laws have hijacked the wedding.  My wife and I paid for most of ours (her parents and my parents helped out a little) so we did it the way we wanted (or should I say the way SHE wanted<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/lol.gif" border="0" />).  We had the reception at a historic house that you could rent out for parties.  It was nice since we did a buffet and people were able to walk around the house and outside to the back yard instead of being stuck at one table for two hours.It was a small wedding too.  About 75 people.  Our biggest problem was that her parents are divorced but she wanted both of them in the front row at the church.  So we had to figured out how to seat them so that her mother wouldn't have to climb over her father's current wife.  What a pain.

terry1979

07-14-2006, 12:31 PM

Jujubees2 wrote: our biggest problem was that her parents are divorced  You lucky bastard

Jujubees2

07-14-2006, 12:39 PM

terry1979 wrote: Jujubees2 wrote: our biggest problem was that her parents are divorced  You lucky bastardOh no, I still suffered with her mother who was living in Japan when we got engaged (she works for the government).  My mother-in-law was pissed for a while that I had the audacity to ask her daughter to marry me without first having met her mother (I guess she expected me to hop in a plane and fly to Japan).  Mind you, I was 29 and my wife 24 at the time.The first time I did meet her, I was interrogated for over two hours.The one good thing about the in-laws being divorce is that no matter what, I don't think my wife would ever ask for a divorce (not that I would ever give her any reason to <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/rolleyes.gif" border="0" />)

Tenbatsuzen

07-14-2006, 12:41 PM

I actually asked both the mother AND the father for permission.

SatCam

07-14-2006, 12:43 PM

Tenbatsuzen wrote: I actually asked both the mother AND the father for permission. 

that's what all the kid touchers say...

terry1979

07-14-2006, 12:45 PM

sheepy's parents must love you.....i just asked the father.

angrymissy

07-14-2006, 01:10 PM

JimBeam wrote: We're looking at a place called Caramoor in Katonah ( I think its right near Martha Stewart's house ) :<a href="http://www.caramoor.org/html/facilityrentals.htm#gardens">http://www.caramoor.org/html/facilityrentals.htm#gardens</a>My fiance really doesnt wanna do the surf club places because she wants it to be a little different than what we've already been to. A lot of friends and family have done it up and down that strip in New Rochelle. One of her really good family friends got married at Glenn Island a few years ago and we loved it.We're also going to look into having it at West Point as I understand a lot of people do that ( although I'm not sure what's involved ).Other choices are Inn @ Candlewood in Brookfield CT, View On The Hudson ( maybe ) on the other side of the Tappan Zee, and some place down by Battery Park.She really likes that place down near Battery Park but I dont want friends and family from out of town to have to pay for hotels and the like in NYC.I'm kinda just letting her preview the places and unless I really object to it she can decide where we have it.My high school graduation was at Caramoor, its very pretty.  IF you don't wanna do the New Rochelle dealie (it is the Westchester wedding standard haha), I saw some really nice places on the husdon in Yonkers too.

Jujubees2

07-14-2006, 01:12 PM

terry1979 wrote: sheepy's parents must love you.....i just asked the father.An odd question, what would you have done if he said no?

Tenbatsuzen

07-14-2006, 01:13 PM

terry1979 wrote: sheepy's parents must love you.....    Depends who you ask.

terryc35

07-14-2006, 03:05 PM

Jujubees2 wrote: terry1979 wrote: sheepy's parents must love you.....i just asked the father.An odd question, what would you have done if he said no?I have no clue.  eloped maybe.

badorties

07-14-2006, 05:31 PM

i'm getting married on a sunday evening (it's veteran day's weekend, so there's floating holiday for some) ... the cost difference was so major that the add-ons & such give ya a better bang for the buck ...i drink, my friends drink but it shouldn't be a mitigating factor for your wedding date

Thebazile78

07-14-2006, 05:45 PM

Tenbatsuzen wrote: I actually asked both the mother AND the father for permission.  That's because you're a class act.And they probably had no idea what to make of it. . . between my dad's social awkwardness and my mom's crappy cell phone and hearing loss, well. . . you got a huge reprieve, buddy.It also helps when both parents live at opposite ends of the state.

JPMNICK

07-14-2006, 06:00 PM

Look into saturday afternoon. Solves a lot of problems and the prices are awesome.

JPMNICK

07-14-2006, 06:01 PM

I called the dad before I did it, not really to ask permission but more to let him know the date was approaching. He was very cool with it

newport king

07-14-2006, 06:16 PM

if you're paying for it yourselves, do something different and take all the money you would have spent on a 45,000 party and put it down on a house.

Judge Smails

07-14-2006, 06:30 PM

We got  married on Memorial Day weekend.  That way we could take advantage of the cheaper Sunday rates and our guests could still have the Monday holdiday to recover.  We were concerned that some people might not be able to make it because they had other plans for the holiday weekend but we didn't have anyone not show.

Tenbatsuzen

07-14-2006, 07:12 PM

Thebazile78 wrote: Tenbatsuzen wrote: I actually asked both the mother AND the father for permission. That's because you're a class act.And they probably had no idea what to make of it. . . between my dad's social awkwardness and my mom's crappy cell phone and hearing loss, well. . . you got a huge reprieve, buddy.It also helps when both parents live at opposite ends of the state.   .... I'm not sure what to make of this development.

Don Stugots

07-15-2006, 06:46 AM

we are having ours on a saturday afternoon.  it isnt going to be in a catering hall but in a nice resturant. we are or should i say I am paying for the whole thing (about 15,000) with the $$$ i make from my side jobs.  the hardest part was sitting through the dirty looks on our familes faces telling them that when and where of it all but to hell with them.

JimBeam

07-15-2006, 09:53 AM

God bless you Stugots for paying for it yourself. Thats dick that your families would look down on where you're having it.My fiance's dad past away when she was young so I didn;t have to ask him. For years when we were dating she told me I had to ask both of her brothers and I was like no way I'm asking them I don't need their permission.Not that they weren't great guys I just didn't wanna have to ask them.So then she wanted me to ask her mom which was OK.I actually lucked out because we went looking for rings down in the Diamond District. Now I know nothing about jewlery so she was asking all the questions. She saw one she liked and they quoted us a proce that we got them to come down on a bit and they did if we bought that day. We said we'd talk about it and look elsewhere but would come back there before we made any decisions. So we go outside and she asks if I want to look anyplace else and I said " We can go up and down this block 15 times and its all gonna look the same to me. Not like I'm buying a car or a computer where I have an idea what to ask/look for. I you like it and its what I'm willing to pay lets get it ".So we check a few other places just as we we're walking and talking and none come near the deal we got so I bought the ring that day.I told her she couldnt wear it until I came up with a way to propose and asked her mom ( who was away for a week ).Well the child she is she couldnt wait to wear it so told me to just ask her now and to call her mom on the phone.So I didnt have to come up w/ some elaborate plan which was good for me.

Tenbatsuzen

07-15-2006, 10:22 AM

When I bought Liz's ring, we never did any ring shopping, in fact, I'm pretty sure I had never stepped foot into a Jewelry store with her before.  I actually had to ask my boss's permission first because the place I was buying it from was a client.   I had bought from them before - I had also bought some other gifts from there - so it was now about maintaining a relationship. I went in there, described Liz's style to them and what I had in mind, and we started talking Four C's, settings, etc.   When we had the idea of what we wanted to do, I actually consulted with my best friend (who had gotten engaged recently as well) along with my mother.  I'm REALLY big on surprises, and I wanted Liz to be absolutely shocked when I did it. My mother has very good taste, and I like to think I learned some valuable lessons from her.  When she and I went back into the Jewelers, she was taken aback about what I had picked out.  She was very impressed with my choice of style for Liz.  I took posession of the ring on a Thursday, and as I did, a really violent lightning storm kicked up.  My boss, who was actually at the store with me, started joking and saying, "This is a good sign." As I was driving away from the Jewelry store, I called Liz's mom on the cell phone and asked her permission, and then I set up a coffee chat with her dad for the next day. I literally went from coffee with her dad to turning around, going home, picking her up, taking her to dinner, and proposing.

Don Stugots

07-15-2006, 01:39 PM

JimBeam wrote: God bless you Stugots for paying for it yourself.   i paid for the other ones, why not this one also.   looking for the ring was always a tough one.  Regina (my chick) designed the ring so it was easier.  I also went to a jewler that we are friends with, so i knew i wasnt going to have a problem.   asking her mom was cool of you.  I know guys that are like "fuck that old school shit."  by asking for her parents permission you show alot of confidence in yourself and respect for their daughter and for them.  I asked Regina's dad on the way home from picking him up from the airport.  I had the ring for a week but he was away on business so i had to wait until he came home to aks him and then ask her.

docgoblin

07-15-2006, 05:01 PM

I really didn't know that people still asked permission. That is so cool! My wife and I did the Friday night also, and since we had to pay for alot of it ourselves, the cost difference was obviously a factor. It worked out great though, because we went to Atlantic City for our honeymoon, and we got the extra day.You should also see if you can do a double wedding with Fez and his fiance. They still haven't tied the knot yet, even though I thought he set a date a couple of years ago.

PaulF

07-15-2006, 06:00 PM

JimBeam wrote: We're looking at a place called Caramoor in Katonah ( I think its right near Martha Stewart's house ) :<a href="http://www.caramoor.org/html/facilityrentals.htm#gardens">http://www.caramoor.org/html/facilityrentals.htm#gardens</a>My fiance really doesnt wanna do the surf club places because she wants it to be a little different than what we've already been to. A lot of friends and family have done it up and down that strip in New Rochelle. One of her really good family friends got married at Glenn Island a few years ago and we loved it.We're also going to look into having it at West Point as I understand a lot of people do that ( although I'm not sure what's involved ).Other choices are Inn @ Candlewood in Brookfield CT, View On The Hudson ( maybe ) on the other side of the Tappan Zee, and some place down by Battery Park.She really likes that place down near Battery Park but I dont want friends and family from out of town to have to pay for hotels and the like in NYC.I'm kinda just letting her preview the places and unless I really object to it she can decide where we have it.Actually, Martha's closer to me in Bedford. Look into Harvest on the Hudson in Hastings. They only do Saturday and Sundays, but maybe it'll be in your range. My nephew's bar mitzvah was there a couple of months ago. It's right on the river.

angrymissy

07-15-2006, 06:53 PM

Also good in Westchester, Crab Tree Kittle House in Kisco/Chappaqua...

Tenbatsuzen

07-15-2006, 08:32 PM

angrymissy wrote: Also good in Westchester, Crab Tree Kittle House in Kisco/Chappaqua...   Funniest wedding invitation ever.

JimBeam

07-16-2006, 11:26 AM

I think we're going w/ Caramoor.I'm supposed to go look at it tonight w/ my fiance and her mom.She likes it a lot because to her its different than being " stuck inside " like you are at other places.She liked the Inn @ Candlewood in Connecticut but thought their plans were too regimented.She wants the day to be formal but not inthe sense of sit down now and eat an appitizer, stand up, now sit down and eat salad.