A hooker just stole my money!

[fezident]

<p>I live in a bad part of Toronto.&nbsp;There is no shortage of beggars and hookers walking the streets in my neighborhood.</p><p>There is one girl who I see all the time.&nbsp; She used to ask me if I wanted to hook up and I always say no. However, she sometimes asks me for change or for a light and I will give it to her.&nbsp; </p><p>Just a few minutes ago, I was coming back from Blockbuster and I paid with a 100 dollar bill. I had about 90 bucks in my pocket.&nbsp; </p><p>I saw the same ol' hooker outside my building, and she asked me if I could break a twenty. Like an asshead, I took out my whole roll, gave her two tens, took her twenty, and stuck the whole wad back in my pocket.</p><p>She then asked me if I wanted to hang out and I said no. Then she got really grabby and clingy and started acting like she was gonna grab my balls.&nbsp;(like she was trying to turn me on or somethin') &nbsp;She even grabbed my belt loop and pulled me towards her.&nbsp; I just laughed and walked away.</p><p>A moment later, I reached for my keycard in my pocket, and all my money was gone.&nbsp; So was the Blockbuster receipt.&nbsp; She obviously grabbed all the paper from my pocket when she was being &quot;playful&quot;.</p><p>I started to run back to the corner to look for her but, after a few steps, I realized that it would've been pointless.&nbsp; Like Keyser Soze -whua- she was gone.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>PS; needless to say, I lied to my (soon to be ex) wife who was&nbsp;in the apartment.&nbsp; I just told her I lost it. For some reason, my instinct was to NOT tell her that I lost all my money to a hooker.&nbsp; I guess it's part of the male DNA.&nbsp; </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Good times.</p>

[narc]

There are bad parts of Toronto? <br><p>
I thought that was the defining characteristic of Canadian cities. Just like American cities, only cleaner, boringer, and no crime.

[Gvac]

<p>A hooker played grab-ass with you <em>and </em>you're still living with your soon to be ex-wife?</p><p><font size="4">LUCKY!</font> <br /></p>

[Don Stugots]

cant you now just say to your wife &quot;what are we going to do about this?&quot; and point to your penis?

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

<p>That really sucks fezident. I'm sorry it happened to you. I was lucky when I lived in the Bronx. The worst that happened to me was that my pocket was picked for $5. Would have been more if I had had more in my pocket. </p><p>You have my sympathy! <br /></p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[IamFogHat]

Oh, Fezident, you were one of my most highly respected board members, and you still are, but this is a warning, don't let those whores fuck you and then fuck you over.&nbsp; you fuck them, then you fuck them fiscally.&nbsp; that's the rule.&nbsp; of thumb.&nbsp; i mean fist.

[PaulF]

Had something similar happen in New Orleans walking past a strip club. One of the dancers was trying to get my friends and I to come inside and got about $400 out of my pocket.

[FUNKMAN]

<p>GOTCHA!</p><p>yeah it blows!</p><p>one night me and two buddies are cruising in NY and we head back to Jersey. my one buddy in the front seat has 15 bucks on him, in his front pocket. we decided that we were gonna go back to new york and somehow convince some hooker to blow the three of us for 5 dollars each.</p><p>anyway, we're on 42nd street and a hooker pops her head in the window, the passengers window where my buddy with the 15 dollars is sitting. the light turns green and we take off and as we're circling the block my buddy realizes he don't have the 15 dollars no more. boy did we bust his balls and had a good laugh</p><p>we were like &quot;damn Mike, some girl starts playing with your balls and you go fucking gaga&quot; and stuff like that</p>

[Doogie]

Go back and beat that hooker to death witha help from Old Louisville. You will get your money back, plus a lil extra from whomever she blew, AND you will feel much better about yourself.

[spoon]

And you didn't even get you nuts tussled!&nbsp;&nbsp;Yet you pretty much lost the same amount as Funk's buddy judging by the inflation rates over the years.&nbsp;

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by spoon on 8-6-06 @ 3:19 AM</span>

[spoon]

<p>And the moral of this story is twofold:</p><p>1.&nbsp; Never rent movies from Blockbuster.</p><p>2.&nbsp; If you're gonna fuck up your marriage with hookers, you might as well get your money's worth.</p>

[Fezticle98]

<p>Poor, trusting, Canadians. $90 Canadian, what's that, like $5 American?</p><p>Was she hot?</p>

[OGC]

<p><font face="times new roman,times,serif" size="4">next time you are in that neighborhood, take a camera and get a picture for us</font></p>

[Don Stugots]

<strong>Alice S. Fuzzybutt</strong> wrote:<br /><p>That really sucks fezident. I'm sorry it happened to you. I was lucky when I lived in the Bronx. The worst that happened to me was that my pocket was picked for $5. Would have been more if I had had more in my pocket. </p><p>You have my sympathy! <br /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>you sure the guy wasnt try to fondile you?&nbsp; the 5.00 might have been an extra for him.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>rich, you are a man after my own heart.&nbsp; </p>

[Yerdaddy]

<p><img height="363" src="http://www.drafthouse.shoppingcartsplus.com/i/images/IggySucka-11.jpg" width="285" border="0" /></p><p>My bitch better have my money<br />Through rain, sleet, or snow<br />My whore better have my money<br />Not half, not some, but all my cash<br />'Cause if she don't,<br />I'm gonna put my foot in her ass. <br /></p>

[fezident]

<strong>richg0404</strong> wrote:<br /><p><font face="times new roman,times,serif" size="4">next time you are in that neighborhood, take a camera and get a picture for us</font></p><p>Nobody wants that.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Trust me.</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>fezident</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>richg0404</strong> wrote:<br /><p><font face="times new roman,times,serif" size="4">next time you are in that neighborhood, take a camera and get a picture for us</font></p><p>Nobody wants that.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Trust me.</p><p><img height="158" src="http://www.vinography.com/archives/images/bidding.1.jpg" width="210" border="0" /></p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <strong><font size="2">27 Dollars</font></strong></p>

[ShelleBink]

<p>&nbsp;</p><strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>fezident</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>richg0404</strong> wrote:<br /><p><font size="4" face="times new roman,times,serif">next time you are in that neighborhood, take a camera and get a picture for us</font></p><p>Nobody wants that.</p><p> </p><p>Trust me.</p><p><img width="210" height="158" border="0" src="http://www.vinography.com/archives/images/bidding.1.jpg" /></p><p> <strong><font size="2">27 Dollars</font></strong></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Thats so weird, some chick named trnt0wh0re69 just bid $70 for my bloody panties on ebay.&nbsp;</p>

[DJEvelEd]

Hookers stole time I'll never get back.

[Marc with a c]

<p>why would a hooker steal from you?</p><p><img src="http://patrick.runkle.info/hooker.jpg" border="0" /></p>

[A.J.]

<p>I had something similar happen to me once back when I was in college.&nbsp; I was driving on 14th Street in DC to get back home after work.&nbsp; It was either go through Whore Alley or take my chances going through one of the worst parts of town.&nbsp; So I had the window down and this whore comes up and leans in and starts grabbing me asking if I want a date.&nbsp; I was more concerned a cop was going to stop me for solicitation and/or blocking traffic.&nbsp; Turns out she got $40 from my wallet.&nbsp; Thankfully she was only after the cash -- the wallet with the credit cards and ATM cards were on the floor.</p><p>From then on it was always windows up, door locked.</p>

[Rockvillejoe]

<strong>A.J.</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I had something similar happen to me once back when I was in college.&nbsp; I was driving on 14th Street in DC to get back home after work.&nbsp; It was either go through Whore Alley or take my chances going through one of the worst parts of town.&nbsp; So I had the window down and this whore comes up and leans in and starts grabbing me asking if I want a date.&nbsp; I was more concerned a cop was going to stop me for solicitation and/or blocking traffic.&nbsp; Turns out she got $40 from my wallet.&nbsp; Thankfully she was only after the cash -- the wallet with the credit cards and ATM cards were on the floor.</p><p>From then on it was always windows up, door locked.</p><p>You should have given the Ho the money up front and got your nob polished. &quot;It don't make you a bad person&quot;.</p>

[Yerdaddy]

<p>Once I was giving some visitors to the academy a tour that finished up with a slideshow and this one cadet, Mahoney I think his name was, snuck inside the podium that I was using and, next thing I know...</p><p>He did a very bad, bad thing.</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>Yerdaddy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Once I was giving some visitors to the academy a tour that finished up with a slideshow and this one cadet, Mahoney I think his name was, snuck inside the podium that I was using and, next thing I know...</p><p>He did a very bad, bad thing.</p><p>what do you expect... in that skirt you are almost impossible to resist by man, woman, or beast...</p>

[Yerdaddy]

<strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Yerdaddy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Once I was giving some visitors to the academy a tour that finished up with a slideshow and this one cadet, Mahoney I think his name was, snuck inside the podium that I was using and, next thing I know...</p><p>He did a very bad, bad thing.</p><p>what do you expect... in that skirt you are almost impossible to resist by man, woman, or beast...</p><p>&quot;Hey good lookin! We'll be back around later to pick you up!&quot;</p><p><img src="http://idontreadyourblog.blogs.friendster.com/photos/egypt/100_0537.JPG" border="0" /></p>