Bored, alone & numb [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

ChimneyFish

08-12-2006, 12:44 PM

I'll start by saying this is completely selfish, because this has very little to do with me.I learned yesterday that one of my closest friend's father shot himself the other day. I found out about it from the secretary at work. Fucking mindblowing. If you knew the man, this just doesn't even seem real. Yesterday seemed like I was just walking through some sort of dream.My friend is holding up ok(better then I ever would). It's not even my family member, and I am completely fucked up. My stomach has been in a knot since I found out, and I really haven't been able to eat much. I think a couple of my friends and I are supposed to go to his house tonight, I can't even fucking imagine what he and his family are going through right now.

Gvac

08-12-2006, 03:25 PM

Wow, that's a tough situation.  I really empathize with what you're going through CF.  Even though there's no words that can comfort the family at a time like this, having people around really helps the healing process.  Just being there for your buddy means more than you can know.  Hang in there, and again, I'm sorry for your loss.

Resin

08-12-2006, 03:35 PM

So sorry to hear about that Chimney.A little over a year ago my cousin committed suicide by jumping off the Newark-Bay Extension Bridge.He was 40 years old, married with 3 girls.His sis died on 9/11.It is a very awkward situation.I know exactly the what you are feeling.It was hard to go to the wake.But you have to go there for him.And his family.He needs you at this time.Just try to be strong.I know its tough.But stay with him through this time.He needs you and your friends NOW.Trust me.

ShelleBink

08-12-2006, 03:47 PM

I have been in a similar situation myself.... my thoughts are with you and the family.

ChimneyFish

08-13-2006, 12:08 PM

Thanks you all  for your thoughts.It's a very strange time, to say the least.I went over to see him last night. He explained everything he knew about the situation to all of us. The thing that really sticks out(and I didn't say anything, of course), is that he didn't leave a note or anything to expain why. I know it would have done very little good, it's just strange. This was a man who put his loved ones above all else. It just doesn't make sense that he would leave them with this burning question for the rest of their lives.I guess the main thing is my friend is doing alright. He, fairly recently, ended a marriage that didn't even last a year and was not his idea, so I didn't know what to expect. While we were outside having a smoke, he told me that the girl he's seeing has been amazing through this whole thing. He said he didn't know how he would have gotten through this without her. Needless to say, I was very happy to hear this.Well, the service is tomorrow. It's going to be a very hard day to get through for a lot of people.Anyone know anything about Catholic funerals/memorials???? Because I know my friend's wedding was brutally  long, and ever since my mom passed, I really have a hard time at these things.

patsopinion

08-13-2006, 12:30 PM

Wow similar situation:one of my close friends got in a major
car accidnt the other night when her drunk driver flipped her suv over
an imbankment.  She is in the hospital and at one point was listed
in critical condition.  I guess she is not that bad now but i
wasnt even to make it to the hospital before i started crying.  One of my good friends died almost a year ago today in the same hospital and i couldnt handel going through that again so soon.sorry to steal your thread i just felt the exact same way.

ChimneyFish

08-13-2006, 12:40 PM

You're not stealing anything, budday.Unfortunately, life is filled with horrible shit.

FUNKMAN

08-13-2006, 12:44 PM

Sorry to hear it. Stay Strong!

Dirtybird12

08-13-2006, 10:26 PM

Hang in there buddy. try to get plenty of rest.

AKA

08-14-2006, 05:12 AM

Very odd - very awful feeling. Going on almost 20 years ago a friend of a friend of mine shot and killed himself back in college for no reason (right in front of the mutual friend), and even though I had not real connection to the dude, it really took a long time for me to shake that feeling that the world isn't quite right.I can understand it better when it is someone closer - I've compared it to being underwater, and looing out at the rest of the world going on with their lives. It's a sick feeling - you see other people happy, and it pisses you off (maybe I'm projecting!) To be honest (not that I enjoy moping), I'm actually glad I can feel this way about someone that's not an immediate friend or relations. Hope you're hanging in there!

This message was edited by AKA on 8-14-06 @ 9:13 AM

ChimneyFish

08-14-2006, 09:27 AM

Just got back from the service.While the Catholicism was hard to sit through, it was extremely gut wrenching. A huge amount of people showed up. It was an open casket. I don't know how, because I could not bring my self to look. I just kept my head up, and walked over to my friends mother. I figure I'll just remember him as he was. Not only physically, but also as the type of man he was, not on his final actions. The two older brothers said a few words at the end(my friends always been somewhat quite). Very touching stuff.Still doesn't make any sense. I guess it never really will.

FUNKMAN

08-14-2006, 09:35 AM

have a close friend and when we were around 15 his mom went down to the basement and found her husband/his dad had hung himself. he seemed like the nicest most sane guy in the world and him and my friend/his son were very close. the rumor was that he had a gambling problem and got into alot of debt.

patsopinion

08-14-2006, 09:49 AM

i dont believe in viewings.i would rather remember the person as i knew them instead of....to hard to witness that and i dont understand the justification of a viewing.

ChimneyFish

08-14-2006, 10:07 AM

patsopinion wrote: i dont believe in viewings.i would rather remember the person as i knew them instead of....to hard to witness that and i dont understand the justification of a viewing. I'm with you on that one.

Jennitalia

08-14-2006, 12:28 PM

<div>something similar happened to my exboyfriend.  His stepfather shot himself in the head downstairs in their house, while his 6 year old son was upstairs.  it was kinda creepy because he did it pretty much where he and i banged.  His real father was in an accident years before and was quadrapalegic.  My ex was killed a couple of  years later.  </div><div /><div>Im very sorry about what your friend is dealing with.</div>

ChimneyFish

08-15-2006, 01:15 PM

Wow. I guess no matter how much you've been through, someone's been through a lot worse.I live in the Philly suburbs, and there's a lot of  farm/open land around. A lot of back roads. He did it somewhere in the National Park.I'll never get doing it where someone who loves you will find your body. You're already putting them through enough.At least my friend and his family were spared that.