anyone have any knowlage on this issue??

[angeladi]

i kind of need some help, im in the process of a divorce, its final on nov.23rd, but my issue is my ex was supposed to pay me child support starting aug 1st, but he chose not to.he was in the coast gaurd now hes out he was discharged on aug.4th...... and hes now unemployed and hes gonna be a full time student he has joint coustody of our one year old but the baby lives with me im the "primary" parent or whatever its called, WELL NOW HE IS SAYING THAT HE DOSENT HAVE TO PAY ME ANYTHING AND THAT I HAVE TO PAY HIM??!! BECAUSE IM THE ONLY ONE WITH A JOB, PROBLEM IS IM MAKING that much anyways.....CAN HE DO THAT??

[nate1000]

nope, no knowlage here.

[FUNKMAN]

<p>not sure but i would think you defenitely need&nbsp;an answer&nbsp;directly from a &nbsp;Lawyer or Mediator. it would be nice if there is one on the board who is willing to give you some answers and directions. they are very costly otherwise.</p><p>also do some google searching on &quot;alimony or child support&quot; for the state you live in and you may get some good info.</p><p>Best Of Luck</p>

[nate1000]

OR Google knowlage.

[Doctor Manhattan]

<strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p>not sure but i would think you defenitely need&nbsp;an answer&nbsp;directly from a &nbsp;Lawyer or Mediator. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Yeah, you will save money by going with Web Board advice, but you'd be better off going with someone who does this for a living.</p>

[yomudder21]

Maybe we can also get you some help in grammar and punctuation.&nbsp;

[reeshy]

Calm down...talk to your lawyer .....<em>isn't that what you pay him for??</em><br />

[PapaBear]

You don't need a lawyer for this. Just report him to your state's department of child support enforcement. They'll take care of it for you.

[Sheeplovr]

doesnt the coast guarde get GI Bill so wont he be payed to be in school so just sell the baby <br />

[Bill From Yorktown]

<p>first of all, get the help of a professional</p><p>second, the child support is based on both of your incomes; if he's unemployed then the amount he has to pay MAY be 0 BUT he has to go to the court to have his situation reevaluated.&nbsp; If he doesnt, as far as they are concerned he is still employed at his previous level and owes you.</p><p>When he goes to do this, I'm sure that he'll be in for a shock that he isnt owed any money as you are the primary caregiver/ residential.&nbsp; </p><p>Report him.&nbsp; You have nothing to lose.</p>

[mikeyboy]

I'm moving to &quot;That's Life&quot;.&nbsp; Serious responses only.&nbsp; (Seriously)

[narc]

<strong>Bill From Yorktown</strong> wrote:<br /><p>first of all, get the help of a professional</p><p>second, the child support is based on both of your incomes; if he's unemployed then the amount he has to pay MAY be 0 BUT he has to go to the court to have his situation reevaluated.&nbsp; If he doesnt, as far as they are concerned he is still employed at his previous level and owes you.</p><p>When he goes to do this, I'm sure that he'll be in for a shock that he isnt owed any money as you are the primary caregiver/ residential.&nbsp; </p><p>Report him.&nbsp; You have nothing to lose.</p><p>What he said. But most importantly, ask a lawyer. </p>

[PapaBear]

I have to disagree with going to a lawyer first. She can't afford it. Seriously... go to child support enforcement. They will take care of it. When he does get a job, they will garnish his wages.

[reeshy]

Papabear...she had to consult an attorney just to get the divorce....at least in my state!!!<br />

[ChimneyFish]

<strong>PapaBear</strong> wrote:<br />I have to disagree with going to a lawyer first. She can't afford it. Seriously... go to child support enforcement. They will take care of it. When he does get a job, they will garnish his wages. <p><strong><em><font face="georgia,times new roman,times,serif" size="2">I agree. My ex went through this with her children's father. I wouldn't call a lawyer until you <u>have</u> to. Call child services. I'm not exactly sure what they are going to do with the situation, but I can tell you this....</font></em></strong><strong><em><font face="Georgia" size="2">&nbsp;they are not going to make you pay him anything, because </font></em></strong></p><p><strong><em><font face="Georgia" size="2">1) you're the mother</font></em></strong></p><p><strong><em><font face="Georgia" size="2">2) the children live with you</font></em></strong></p>

[PapaBear]

<p>CF is right about you not having to pay. Not because you're the mother, though. Mother's often have to pay, but only when they aren't the custodial parent. Though you have &quot;joint custody&quot;, that means almost nothing to him. The custodial parent is the one who gets paid.</p><p>It may even be possible for child support enforcement to force him to get a job, or go to jail. Though it would be a long time before he would owe enough for them to actually put him in jail, the threat should be enough. There was a time, about 12 years ago (before I became a responsible adult), that I had the same stupid attitude that he has now.</p><p>Trust me... They will fix this for you, if you pursue it.</p>

[Thebazile78]

<p>Going to the child support enforcement department in our county was how our dad (the custodial parent) managed to get our mom (the non-custodial parent) to pay child support when their divorce was finalized.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>And it happened even though Mom was unemployed and had a really oily-looking lawyer at one of the proceedings. <br /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>And yes, after she was employed, the court garnished her wages. And continued to garnish until all 4 of us were either emancipated or reached the age of majority as specified in the divorce agreement.<br /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>PapaBear is right: regardless of what gender-role you are in a divorce (mother or father), it's the custodial parent with whom the child lives who gets the bargaining power when child-support is due. Chances are good that no other financial settlements were made other than child support, so whatever your ex is smoking thinking you owe *him* money must be some pretty strong shit.<br /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>BTW, there are some lawyers who will work pro bono or on a sliding scale if you need them; check with your state bar association to see if you can't find a family law practitioner in your area who works on a sliding scale, especially if handling it on your own with the child support enforcement people falls through. It's hard, but this is something you might want to research, just in case.<br /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[spoon]

<p>I'll give you a crazy story on this subject, but I personally don't have a clue to the laws around this.&nbsp; </p><p>I work with a lady at one of the mental health sites involved in our studies.&nbsp; She unfortunately lost her husband a few years back and has three older kids now in HS or around it.&nbsp; She fell for a computer programmer who was divorced and paying child support for a few years for his own kids.&nbsp; Eventually he lost his job and couldn't pay the support and his ex took him to court again.&nbsp; The judge ruled, or whatever/however they decided, that he must find a job and pay within a decent amount of time or he'd go to jail.&nbsp; Being that he was used to great pay before the tech bubble popped, he was really trying to get at least a decent paying job and wasn't going to accept a low salary or shit job just to pay support.&nbsp; I guess it ended recently with him going to jail.&nbsp; I don't know if this helps, but it's one example of a similar situation.&nbsp; </p><p>Oh and GO CHARGERS!!</p>

[Don Stugots]

<strong>reeshy</strong> wrote:<br />Calm down...talk to your lawyer .....<em>isn't that what you pay <strike><font size="3">him</font></strike> <strong><font size="3">her </font></strong>for??</em><br /><p>i had a fling with my divorce lwayer.&nbsp; she was hot, so was her assistant.&nbsp; what a great summer that was, banging the two of them behind each others backs while they both had to work on divorce #1 for me.&nbsp; nice.&nbsp; </p>