My grandmother died yesterday...

[Dougie Brootal]

<p>(my fathers mother) not looking for sympathy or anything like that, but&nbsp;i would like some advice.</p><p>the story is, when my grandfather was sick, my uncle made my grandparents move in with him and deceive my dad about it,&nbsp;who took care of them (managed their finances, took them to doctors, bought them groceries, took the out twice a week, etc,etc,etc). and because they were both of &quot;feeble mind&quot; my uncle&nbsp;convinced them that my dad was not taking care of them and to stop speaking with him, cut him from the will etc.</p><p>then my grandfather died. my uncle didnt tell my dad till the day before the funeral and sent one of my cousins over to &quot;talk with&quot; my dad. (this &quot;talk &quot; consisted of pushing his buttons and trying to fight with him.)</p><p>my father hasnt spoken to his mother in five years (since this happened).</p><p>he isnt going to the funeral, should i?</p>

[terry1979]

Yes.&nbsp; I can understand why your father isn't going, but that is his fight not yours.&nbsp; Go to the wake, pay your respects and leave.&nbsp; You don't have to say a word to your uncle or any other of your crazy ass, money hungry relatives.&nbsp; If you have at least one pleasant memory of time spent with your grandmother as a child or whatever, then you should definitely go.

[Photoshop Mike]

First off.. I am so very sorry. Second.. I totally agree. You should go. Take care

[bobrobot]

<p><strong><font color="#000099">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Remember&nbsp;the good times &amp; do what you're comfortable with doing. </font></strong></p><p><strong><font color="#000099">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; You have my deepest condolences Budday. I named my daughter after my paternal Grandmother, so that gives you an idea of what she means to me! </font></strong></p><p><strong><font color="#000099">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Keep her in your heart!</font></strong></p>

[OGC]

<p><font face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="3">Yup. If you were anywhere near close to your Grandmother, you should go. It will be your last chance to say goodbye to her.</font></p><p><font face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="3">Although I can understand your Dad's reluctance, you might want to talk to him about going too. Even if he wants to avoid his other relatives, he shouldn't hold the last couple of years of confusion in his mother's mind stop him from saying goodbye.</font></p>

[hunnerbun]

<p>Man families do some fucked up shit to each other don't they?</p><p>&nbsp;Sorry
to hear about your grandmother doug, but I garee with everyone else
here I think you should go.&nbsp; I think your relatives need to know
that even though they fucked over the last 5 years with your grand
parents,&nbsp; you never stopped caring about them.&nbsp; Maybe, just
maybe, they will reconsider what they have done to your dad.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[SinA]

<p>&nbsp;</p><p>Your dad should think about going too.&nbsp; Neither of you have to, but you might regret it later if you don't.&nbsp; Your family's dispute sounds like a &quot;fued&quot; between the brothers, and not really something your father holds against his mother.</p><p>I wouldn't want you/him to miss something important to you because you've got issues with the uncle.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Of course, you don't have to go, and no-one would think less of you if you don't.&nbsp; Even if there was no issue, everyone understands that people have to handle things in their own way, sometimes that is in solitude.</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by SinA on 8-30-06 @ 11:37 AM</span>

[Dougie Brootal]

<p>thanks so much everyone for your advice! i really appreciate the fact that i can turn to you guys for help. thank you!</p><p>im going to try to talk to my dad about going, and im going to call my uncle and figure out when and where to go.</p><p>i really do appreciate this, guys!</p>

[terry1979]

no problem....now post some more half naked pics of your teenage girlfriend as a token of your appreciation.&nbsp; <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/thumbup.gif" border="0" />

[Dougie Brootal]

<strong>terry1979</strong> wrote:<br />no problem....now post some more half naked pics of your teenage girlfriend as a token of your appreciation.&nbsp; <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/thumbup.gif" border="0" /> <p><img height="359" src="http://myspace-573.vo.llnwd.net/00997/37/59/997909573_l.jpg" width="479" border="0" /></p><p><img height="359" src="http://myspace-265.vo.llnwd.net/01070/56/24/1070924265_l.jpg" width="479" border="0" /></p><p><img height="479" src="http://myspace-699.vo.llnwd.net/01070/99/67/1070947699_l.jpg" width="359" border="0" /></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by douggrasso on 8-30-06 @ 12:25 PM</span>

[terry1979]

LOVE A GIRL WHO CAN FUNNEL!!!

[Justice4all]

<p>If you go, do not talk to your uncle. It sounds like he is an asshole for doing that to your father. </p><p>If my uncle did that I could punch him dead in the face for dis-respecting my father like that.</p><p>Go for your grandmother. But I would like to know what your father did not talk to his own mother for 5 years?&nbsp; Did she agree with your uncle on how he let your father know about HIS father dying?</p>

[OGC]

<strong>douggrasso</strong> wrote:<br /><p>.....&nbsp;im going to call my uncle and figure out when and where to go.</p><p><font size="3">Who knows, maybe this will be the olive branch to mend the hurt in the family. Life is too damned short to hold grudges.</font></p>

[Don Stugots]

first, your chick is hot, no disrespect.&nbsp; second, i am sorry about your grandmother. Third, up need to go and pay your respects.&nbsp; forth, try to mend things between your dad and uncle, but dont push too hard.

[blakjeezis]

Go. I've never heard anyone say, &quot;Man, I really regret going to my grandmother's funeral.&quot; <br />

[Dougie Brootal]

well, my uncle refused to talk to me, and the funeral was at 10 this morning....i just got an email about it...at 1:00 pm. real nice, so i missed it. and so ends this tale.

[Justice4all]

<strong>douggrasso</strong> wrote:<br />well, my uncle refused to talk to me, and the funeral was at 10 this morning....i just got an email about it...at 1:00 pm. real nice, so i missed it. and so ends this tale. <p>ok...now a few thoughts..if you do not mind that is.</p><p>1st off, your uncle is a scumbag, as is your cousin, for how theyhandled this. They now deserve to be berated in front of your whole family.</p><p>2nd. This is PARTIALLY your fault for missing the funeral. I do not mean to sound harsh, but you could have done some searching of your grandmothers obituary online. They usually post where the wake and funeral is going to be and at what time. (unless they did not post the obit and in which case I am wrong) When it comes to trusting people who have a history of shitting on me or my family I tend to take care of things myself.</p><p>3rd. I would write a SCATHING email back to my uncle and also foward it to whoever in your family you have an email address about. Let others know what an ass he is.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I am sorry for your loss and I hope things get better from here.</p>

[Dougie Brootal]

i agree with alot of what you said Justice, but i really dont care that much to expend the energy on it.&nbsp; and i would have looked on line but my electricity was out friday night till saturday afternoon (when i posted on here) because of the &quot;hurricane&quot; or whatever. and i was at my girlfriends mothers house, in the sticks without the net.&nbsp;and im not too broken up about missing the funeral because IMHO funerals are 1.) barbaric and 2) more for the living...to be there for the family of the deceased who are more affected by, and i dont give a shit about my uncle or his family so i didnt need to be there for them. i made my peace with my grandmother, she knows i love her and i will miss her and thats all that matters to me.&nbsp;i appreciate everyones thoughts and advice. thanks so much guys!