View Full Version : Does time really heal all pain..?
AnomalisticAnna
10-10-2006, 07:29 PM
<p>That's the best piece of advice someone could give me when my life
was crumbling before my eyes. As hack as it sounds, I believed it.
Hell, it had even worked on a couple situations in my past. It was the
only thing that kept me from throwing in the towel. Almost 2 years
later, I find myself more consumed with these feelings of loss and
disappointment than I ever had before. Is this part of the healing
process? Am I just being impatient..? Sometimes I feel like maybe my
intense pain somehow measures my love.. and if that's the case then
maybe this is baggage I will carry with my for the rest of my life.<br />
</p><p>I could really use some good feedback. You know what they say about the holiday season.. </p>
Sheeplovr
10-10-2006, 07:32 PM
zombie attack?<br />
HypnoDude
10-10-2006, 07:36 PM
<p>Well time heals all only after you have confronted the issues and got it all out so to speak. Otherwise its just going to be pent up feelings that need to get out and making you feel the way you do</p><p>My 2 cents..I will now get off my Lucy Advice box...</p><p>Ciao,</p><p>Don The Hypnotist</p>
PapaBear
10-10-2006, 07:36 PM
<p>It doesn't always heal it, but it almost always makes pain livable. I've had pains that weren't healed. I'm able to deal with it, and sometimes even forget about it. Sometimes, however, pain that has been manageable can come back in huge waves. That's probably what you're experiencing.</p><p>As cliche' as it may sound, you just need more time, and more distractions. I hope nothing but the best for you. Heartache is usually worse than any physical pain. But like physical pain, it can be lived with, and sometimes cured.</p>
Fez4PrezN2008
10-10-2006, 08:53 PM
<p>What's the nature of your problem? Guy problems I am betting. </p><p>Cheer up buck-o, hey it could be worse, you could be East Side ! (Unless you are fond of chefs, then I guess it would be OK for you then).</p>
<p>No, not in my experience. I've been living with some pain for the past 5 or so years now really. </p><p>Don is there any way that you can be hypnotized to not feel the pain? </p>
Fez4PrezN2008
10-10-2006, 09:10 PM
<p>Narc, she is talking about emotional pain, NOT BUNG-HOLE pain....</p>
<p> </p><strong>Fez4PrezN2008</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Narc, she is talking about emotional pain, NOT BUNG-HOLE pain....</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nice. Read what forum you're posting in, asshole, before you make an easy dumb gay joke.</p><p>No homo. </p>
KC2OSO
10-10-2006, 09:18 PM
<p>Time is time. It just is. It's not meant to heal anything. You have work to do to get out of where you are so get to it!</p>
Fez4PrezN2008
10-10-2006, 09:24 PM
<p>Hey, my post to her was serious... I just could not resist ragging on you... JUST KIDDING - GEEZ! Laughter is the best medicine.</p>
PapaBear
10-10-2006, 09:31 PM
<p>Another thing to consider... You may be suffering from Clinical Depression. Though I'm definitely not saying you should go out and get on some anti-depressants, it wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to some professionals. I say "some", because you really don't want to rely on what the first professional has to say. </p>
AnomalisticAnna
10-11-2006, 03:20 AM
<p> </p><strong>Fez4PrezN2008</strong> wrote:<br /><p>What's the nature of your problem? Guy problems I am betting. </p><p>Cheer
up buck-o, hey it could be worse, you could be East Side ! (Unless you
are fond of chefs, then I guess it would be OK for you then).</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Actually,
you couldn't be more wrong. The bulk of my issues have nothing to do
with the oposite sex.. although that aspect of my life was affected as
well. My dad passed away a couple years ago, but his troubled past has
come back to haunt me. It's that typical story of someone who had a few
skeletons in his closet and all of them were released the minute word
spread about his death. Not only that, he left us in the shittiest
financial situation anyone could possibly conjure up. He died 2 weeks
after my 21st birthday and with my next birthday approaching I just
can't seem to get certain thoughts out of my head. I was 'daddy's
little girl' after all. I tried talking to a professional before, but
rehashing all the experiences proved to be far more heart-wrenching
than the existing pain. Have you ever felt like talking to someone will
just make it worse?<br />
</p><blockquote /><p> </p>
AnomalisticAnna
10-11-2006, 03:21 AM
<p> </p><strong>Sheeplovr</strong> wrote:<br />zombie attack?<br />
<p> </p><p> </p><p>Ha.. I would prefer flesh-eating monster problems any day. </p><blockquote /><p> </p>
DarkHippie
10-11-2006, 08:45 AM
<p>I don't think time heals so much as it covers the memory with other ones. Your feelings will always be there--especially since it sounds like you were very close to your father. but as time goes on it will fade into the background. two years is not a very long time.</p><p>It may also help to talk about it again with a professional. With a parent, there are sometimes so many underlying causes for feelings that a professional can help you find and deal with.</p><p>Or you can do what i do and get drunk.</p>
FUNKMAN
10-11-2006, 12:54 PM
<p>no cures, just realize you're not alone in how you feel and don't ever think any less of yourself for it. just talking about it even on a messageboard is better than keeping it locked up inside.</p><p>hopefully you have a good friend or family member to let it out to whenever you feel the need. i feel a "good" friend or family member can take the place of a professional because neither one can help you unless you want to help yourself. </p><p>somebody else may have said it but overcoming the pain and continuing your existence shows you are a strong person and you should take some confidence from that...</p><p>and don't try to drown it out with booze or drugs, youre just adding additional problems that way!</p>
sr71blackbird
10-11-2006, 01:21 PM
I had a death of someone I was close with for almost 20 years, and they died Oct 10, 2002 <br />Yesterday I realised it was the anniversary and it hit me again. You feel your heart tug, you think about them being gone, getting the news, the whole experience, and the pain is still there. When it was happening, of course it was far more intense, and time did deminish it a bit, and I have not been grieving around the clock like I was 4 years ago.<br />So, my answer is that time does not erase all wounds, but it does ease them a bit. Nothing will erase all pain. Hope this helped! You're not alone!
Fez4PrezN2008
10-11-2006, 04:45 PM
<p>Hey I can relate. My dad passed away almost 3 yrs ago and I miss him dearly every day. I know that my dad wouldn't have wanted me to be sad and I try to focus on all the great memories that I had with him. Someone told me once to accept grief and comfort in equal measure. So here's some good karma heading your way <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/cool.gif" border="0" />. </p><p>[OK I'll kiss and make up with narc too while I am at it - No Homo]</p>
Bulldogcakes
10-11-2006, 05:34 PM
Time heals the wounds, but the scars stay with you forever. <br />
AnomalisticAnna
10-11-2006, 07:47 PM
<p> </p><strong>Bulldogcakes</strong> wrote:<br />Time heals the wounds, but the scars stay with you forever. <br /><p> </p><p> </p><p>That's
pretty much what I thought. I'm not some basketcase running around
unable to control her emotions. I'm not unstable, nor do I look at all
future relationships with hesitation. I just wanted to know if some
things never leave you. I've seen people carry heartache with them
their whole lives.. and I hoped that maybe I had some control over this
grief. Apparently, I do not. On a shittier note, I think my mom is on
her way out. Looking at this in the most optimistic point of view
possible, I don't think my mom is even going to live to see me graduate
college. It's these stupid, trivial little shit details that really
make me (for lack of a beter word) sad. Whats the sense in persuing a
family when you're not going to live to see the fruits of you labor?</p><p> </p><p>Wow... I am such a buzzkill Sorry all. </p><blockquote /><p> </p>
Patches
10-20-2006, 09:59 AM
<strong>AnomalisticAnna</strong> wrote:<br /><p> </p><strong>Bulldogcakes</strong> wrote:<br />Time heals the wounds, but the scars stay with you forever. <br /><p> </p><p> </p><p>That's pretty much what I thought. I'm not some basketcase running around unable to control her emotions. I'm not unstable, nor do I look at all future relationships with hesitation. I just wanted to know if some things never leave you. I've seen people carry heartache with them their whole lives.. and I hoped that maybe I had some control over this grief. Apparently, I do not. On a shittier note, I think my mom is on her way out. Looking at this in the most optimistic point of view possible, I don't think my mom is even going to live to see me graduate college. It's these stupid, trivial little shit details that really make me (for lack of a beter word) sad. Whats the sense in persuing a family when you're not going to live to see the fruits of you labor?</p><p> </p><p>Wow... I am such a buzzkill Sorry all. </p><p> </p><p>Thats a pretty tough question, and I guess if any of us were able to answer it, life wouldn't be so damn hard all the time. I guess grief never really leaves you, but I guess after some time, some days are easier than others. I recently lost a good friend to something very very stupid, about a month and a half ago. Immediately after, I was a physical and emotional mess, to the point I couldn't eat, work, or stay sober for that matter- But after some time passed, I came to grips with the fact I would never see my friend again. Of course, not a day goes by that I don't think of him or ask myself a million questions about what I could have did that he would still be here, but I guess its a little easier... and maybe it'll get a little easier through time, but probably never 100 percent. I guess thats what living life is all about- collecting scars..</p><p>Anyway... while things seem hopeless, you have to remember that its not always going to be like that- there are times that happiness prevails and those are the times that make it all worth it...</p><p>Well.. thats my depressing 2 cents...</p>
HypnoDude
10-20-2006, 02:14 PM
<strong>narc</strong> wrote:<br /><p>No, not in my experience. I've been living with some pain for the past 5 or so years now really. </p><p>Don is there any way that you can be hypnotized to not feel the pain? </p><p>The #1 use for hypnosis is pain control, but I am talking physical not emotional pain.</p><p>Cheers,</p><p>Don The Hypnotist</p>
reeshy
10-20-2006, 02:32 PM
<strong>Bulldogcakes</strong> wrote:<br />Time heals the wounds, but the scars stay with you forever. <br /><p>I echo Bulldogs words.....whether it's a father, wife, sister.....it still hurts!!!</p><p>My grandmother died of intestinal cancer which takes a long time to do it's dirty work.....she was in constant pain and had to undergo numerous surgeries.......one day.....she said "No more"....it was the hardest thing we had to do.....my mom had power of attorney and probably could have overruled her.....but she loved her mother so much that she did what she wanted....my nanny died a few weeks later.....but I swear to God....she smiled when she went....I was there...I was crying but also so glad that my nanny was in pain anymore and she was with the God that she always went to see in Church!!!</p><p>Many years later (1999), My beloved wife, Karola, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.......we did everything that modern medicine could do....Albert Einstein hospital, Cornell University Hospital, Sloan-Kettering....the whole nine yards.....I spent almost every penny I had over the insurance......she died 7 months later.....I hated God and everyone around me......now.......I still love her but put everything in perspective.....I hurt still.....but not like I did then .......I have heavy scars but I live with them.....AND more importantly....I have her memories....like you can with your dad.....everyday I take a different trip with my Karola....little memories like when we took the kids to Williamsburg or took Mikey to the ER cause he had a high temp or when we adopted Annie, our little Beagle!!!!!</p><p>Always keep the memories alive.....they hurt at first.....but then you will cherish them....trust me!!!!</p>
AnomalisticAnna
10-23-2006, 07:59 PM
<strong>reeshy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Bulldogcakes</strong> wrote:<br />Time heals the wounds, but the scars stay with you forever. <br /><p>I echo Bulldogs words.....whether it's a father, wife, sister.....it still hurts!!!</p><p>My grandmother died of intestinal cancer which takes a long time to do it's dirty work.....she was in constant pain and had to undergo numerous surgeries.......one day.....she said "No more"....it was the hardest thing we had to do.....my mom had power of attorney and probably could have overruled her.....but she loved her mother so much that she did what she wanted....my nanny died a few weeks later.....but I swear to God....she smiled when she went....I was there...I was crying but also so glad that my nanny was in pain anymore and she was with the God that she always went to see in Church!!!</p><p>Many years later (1999), My beloved wife, Karola, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.......we did everything that modern medicine could do....Albert Einstein hospital, Cornell University Hospital, Sloan-Kettering....the whole nine yards.....I spent almost every penny I had over the insurance......she died 7 months later.....I hated God and everyone around me......now.......I still love her but put everything in perspective.....I hurt still.....but not like I did then .......I have heavy scars but I live with them.....AND more importantly....I have her memories....like you can with your dad.....everyday I take a different trip with my Karola....little memories like when we took the kids to Williamsburg or took Mikey to the ER cause he had a high temp or when we adopted Annie, our little Beagle!!!!!</p><p>Always keep the memories alive.....they hurt at first.....but then you will cherish them....trust me!!!!</p><p>Just wanted to let all you guys know... you're the best. Sometimes the easiest way to heal is to relate to other people.. to feel some kind of assemblance of normalcy, regardless of how shitty one might feel. You all have definitely helped me more than you know. Much love!</p>
Friday
08-25-2008, 09:12 PM
when my mom died, my friends who had moms and dads die before told me that time may go by, but it will never dull the pain. they were being honest... and i appreciate that.
and they were right.
i am a day and a half away from my mom's birthday.... she would have been 61. but she died a year and a half ago and i feel like it could have been yesterday.
funny thing is... i was a soldier for her death and funeral. i was in charge so i had to be.
and i was pretty good the first year.
but this year has been harder than i thought it could be.
so no... in love ... in all of its forms.... i am not so convinced that time heals wounds.
:glurps:
KatPw
08-26-2008, 08:34 AM
when my mom died, my friends who had moms and dads die before told me that time may go by, but it will never dull the pain. they were being honest... and i appreciate that.
and they were right.
i am a day and a half away from my mom's birthday.... she would have been 61. but she died a year and a half ago and i feel like it could have been yesterday.
funny thing is... i was a soldier for her death and funeral. i was in charge so i had to be.
and i was pretty good the first year.
but this year has been harder than i thought it could be.
so no... in love ... in all of its forms.... i am not so convinced that time heals wounds.
:glurps:I'm sending a big hug out into the universe for you. I lost both my parents (dad 6 years ago, mom 3 years ago). I'm an only child, and I share my birthday with my mom. It still sucks after all this time. Christ, I am tearing up writing this in fact.
Friday
08-26-2008, 03:31 PM
thanks Kat....
being an only child stinks sometimes, doesn't it? ha.
anyway... you rock. welcome to the board. :)
Tall_James
08-26-2008, 03:35 PM
I'm sending a big hug out into the universe for you. I lost both my parents (dad 6 years ago, mom 3 years ago). I'm an only child, and I share my birthday with my mom. It still sucks after all this time. Christ, I am tearing up writing this in fact.
Friday and Kat - I wish I could give you both a hug right now. But since I can't, know that you are both pretty awesome and lots of people care about you.
KatPw
08-26-2008, 03:53 PM
thanks Kat....
being an only child stinks sometimes, doesn't it? ha.
anyway... you rock. welcome to the board. :)
Friday and Kat - I wish I could give you both a hug right now. But since I can't, know that you are both pretty awesome and lots of people care about you.
Thanks for having us wayward souls on this great board!
boosterp
08-26-2008, 08:53 PM
Time can kiss my ass.
Yes I have issues, yes I take medication, and yes things still haunt me but the only reason I am around today and have not put a bullet in my head is my caring friends, family, and my goals.
Moral of the story: coping is personal and you will find a way to deal with your pain.
Edit: My 5 y/o cat has also been a big help. It may sound gay but I think she is in tune with me and wants more attention when I am having a bad day.
KatPw
08-28-2008, 05:58 AM
Time can kiss my ass.
Yes I have issues, yes I take medication, and yes things still haunt me but the only reason I am around today and have not put a bullet in my head is my caring friends, family, and my goals.
Moral of the story: coping is personal and you will find a way to deal with your pain.
Edit: My 5 y/o cat has also been a big help. It may sound gay but I think she is in tune with me and wants more attention when I am having a bad day.
I think pets are a huge help. Ours always know when it is a bad day, and become extra cuddly.
biggestmexi
11-21-2009, 03:55 AM
hope so
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