Threats at Work [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

Reephdweller

10-13-2006, 06:22 AM

Not to be too dramatic and sorry to be wordy...I work as a supervisor in customer service, along with 2 other supes as well in the office. One of the supervisors I work very well with, we take care of both of our groups of employees and work together to keep their stats good. It's a good friendly partnership that has gotten us good results. The other supervisor I don't care for at all...no one does really. She's lazy, is constantly involved in an issue, and has bad attendance. Her only saving grace I think is that she's with the company over 25 years.So there was an incident about two weeks ago where I heard her on the phone with my boss's new admin making disparaging comments about our boss. Calling him an idiot among other things. I was very bothered by this, first of all because she said it loudly on the phone with about 11 or 12 employees desks around her. I felt that she should not be saying things like that in their presence. I have a lot of respect and loyalty to my boss and I consider him a friend so the comments really offended me. When my boss came in I went to him directly about it and told him what I had heard. I don't want to go into a whole history on the woman but she has a background of unprofessional behavior in her records, and she's basically a hateful vindictive bitch. It would normally for anyone else not have been an issue for m to go to them and say "hey, watch what you say" or something like that, though with her everything is an issue and she would twist my words around, so I decided to go to my boss instead. A week later I was called into a meeting with my boss and her and I was asked to repeat what I had heard. It was uncomfortable, though it was the truth so I had no problem saying it and defending myself when she challenged me on some things. After the meeting the topic was not talked about again until yesterday.She called me aside to talk to me privately about an email exhange we had. After that she changed the subject to the meeting and what I had heard her say on that call. We basically had the same discussion again. At this point she went on say that she got written up over what I had heard. That I am to go to her from now on if I have an issue. She said that she has documented things on work that I say I do but don't, or questionable things about reports that I say I checked and she can tell that I didn't and that she doesn't bring these into my boss, she could, but she doesn't that she's telling me right then and there about it and that I better do the same for her. I felt very threatened by her comments and what she was implying. Personally I don't care what she has on me because it can't be anythign serious, and if it is something it's mostly an oversight at best. I want to take this issue to HR and document that she threatened me. I am also tempted to have a meeting with her and my boss and bring up the discussion and the implications that she made and call her out right then and there to show me what she says she has, that I'll take whatever punishment. I want to put her on the spot and I also want her to know that I won't be intimidated. My boss is already aware of the whole situation, he took notes in a meeting we had, and I put together everything that happened in the meeting. I'm just a little concerned about what will happen next. Not about what she says she has, but if it will mean her being in serious trouble or if it can blow up in my face. The way I look at it. I have over 12 years there without a single incident, whereas she has numerous cases of issues with various people. I also happen to know our HR generalist does not like her either, so I'm wondering if this can work out very well and shut the bitch up once and for all.

newport king

10-13-2006, 07:27 AM

While i can't agree with your ratting her out in the first place, she was wrong to imply anything like that. I really couldnt tell if this woman is your boss or ahead of you on the food chain, or equals. either way just pay her no mind go in, do your job and go home. people in office jobs tend to get too caught up in the interoffice politics.

walking joint

10-13-2006, 07:37 AM

sorry reef, but i think your wrong in this.  you should have gone to her about what she was saying and not the boss.  i would have flipped if you did that to me and i'd surely be looking to fuck you back.  i'd be on your ass about any little thing you did.  like her or not, ratting to the boss in my opinion is bad.  my boss is like that.  i'm afraid to say anything to or around him as he would go directly to the higher ups.  i hate the guy and so do most people who work in my area.  and then when she confronts you directly you are going to do the same thing again and rat her out to someone else.  it was hardly a bad threat and again in my opinion after you ratted her out you deserved it. 

newport king

10-13-2006, 07:40 AM

being a union guy i feel the need to post this. you'd get one in your work truck if you worked with me.<img height="500" src="http://www.untitledname.com/archives/upload/2005/4/dead-rat.jpg" width="750" border="0" />

Reephdweller

10-13-2006, 08:11 AM

walking joint wrote: sorry reef, but i think your wrong in this.  you should have gone to her about what she was saying and not the boss.  i would have flipped if you did that to me and i'd surely be looking to fuck you back.  While I agree with you in principle I know I'm in a situation here where going to her would not have been good. I say that from past experiences with her and her previous drama with others that I had no choice. Believe me, for me do that to someone means that there's a lot more to this than I'm saying.I say that because I have plenty of background with her. I just haven't given you the full story because it's very long. Just trust that I did it because I had no other choice.

newport king

10-13-2006, 08:24 AM

I had no other choice.i think what w/j and i are saying is youre choice should have been, pretend you didnt hear it and go about your business. you interjected yourself into the situation when you didn't have to. what would have happened if you did nothing? but instead now you're dealing with all this nonsense.

dereckfishboy

10-13-2006, 08:25 AM

I'm going to have to jump on the pile, Reef. When you rat, you have to deal with the aftermath. You could have dropped hints to your boss/friend and let them keep a wary eye out themself. But all in all, I think most peoiple agree you have to fight your own battles. This shit goes back to before we've got hair on our sack. You either mind your buisiness or you make it your buisiness, you can't just interfere and walk away. Thems the rules, and they're among the oldest and most universally understood. I hate to say it, my friend, but you made you bed yadayadayada. I honestly think the best thing you can do is ride it out. Work related problems are like quicksand, bro. The more you struggle, the more you sink. 

This message was edited by dereckfishboy on 10-13-06 @ 12:31 PM

Reephdweller

10-13-2006, 09:17 AM

I guess if I made this a 37 paragraph post you would understand where I was coming from. If you knew the whole story it would make sense. Nevertheless pile on. <img height="568" src="http://faq.russian-z1.org/~tushka/lj/ny0306/union_rat1.jpg" width="480" border="0" />

walking joint

10-13-2006, 09:18 AM

just don't go running to Mikeyboy telling him we are picking on you  <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" />

Reephdweller

10-13-2006, 10:02 AM

i never do that...pick away.  <img height="82" src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" width="107" border="0" />

HeyGuy

10-13-2006, 10:45 AM

Reefdweller wrote: walking joint wrote: sorry reef, but i think your wrong in this.  you should have gone to her about what she was saying and not the boss.  i would have flipped if you did that to me and i'd surely be looking to fuck you back.  While I agree with you in principle I know I'm in a situation here where going to her would not have been good. I say that from past experiences with her and her previous drama with others that I had no choice. Believe me, for me do that to someone means that there's a lot more to this than I'm saying.I say that because I have plenty of background with her. I just haven't given you the full story because it's very long. Just trust that I did it because I had no other choice.Who cares? Man up and say something to her and thats it. First of all, all she did was talk on the phone and say shit about your boss that you didnt like. So what, people say shit all the time. If you didnt like it say something to her. Dont rat her out to your boss especially that boss being the one she was talking about. Sometimes you need to mind your own business. People do things and say things at work that they shouldnt. You know, likebeing on the internet during work hours, posting on ronfez about things at work or reading ronfez when you should be working (hint hint)Now onto her "threatning" you. Good for her, all she said was do your job or now I will rat you out just like you did to me. And she also said she has seen you do or not do things that you should, but she would rather tell you directly then tell the boss. I see no problem with her. She maybe a bitch as you say, but shes no rat. If everyone was like you going to the boss on every little thing then no one but brown nosers would have jobs.

narc

10-13-2006, 11:16 AM

Getting beyond the union loyalty bullshit (which would be a whole other thing for me) I have to agree sort of. What I would do is drop it for now over this particular incident. If she's as bad as you say she  will fuck up again. That's when you pounce on her and go right to the boss with it.  Make sure it's something really good too, like something that interferes with the way you work, that way you come out smelling like roses. Like "I'm a good guy I just want to do my job - but this bitch fucked me again"The Machiavelli of RF.net.

foodcourtdruide

10-13-2006, 12:18 PM

If I can give my opinion..The "no rat" thing is ridiculous. I don't see how it applies to this situation. In a lot of work environments boss/employee have a very close relationship. For example, I manage 4 people, and if co-workers on their level talked about me they'd let me know. They wouldn't be "rats", they're friends and they'd just be sticking up for their friend. I feel the same way about MY boss.In a lot of white collar work, management and employees have a repectful relationship where they are not trying to stab each other in the back. Having said that, I blame your boss for letting your co-worker know it was you that called her out and making you face your co-worker and discuss it in front of your boss. You should not tolerate her threatening you and call her bluff and notify your superior about the threat.

newport king

10-13-2006, 12:28 PM

I respectfully disagree with the post above me. When you hear something that doesn't involve you, and you go running to the boss to tell the news like some town cryer yes that makes you a rat. And dont tell me in most white collar jobs people really respect each other and its not backstabbing, and friends look out for each other. White collar jobs is where most of the backstabbing go on. Everyone will step on the next person to get ahead in the race. Having said that, i DO agree with your boss making you confront her. Its almost a bit of a heel turn on his part. That was a piece of shit move on his part. Just don't tell him I said so.

Recyclerz

10-13-2006, 01:16 PM

As someone who is currently posting from the belly of the corporate beast right now, with a somewhere in the middle of the food chain job, here's my $0.02:The HR Department, regardless of what they say (or even what they think), is there to keep the oars manned - sorry personned -, to make sure everybody is pulling and to do it at the lowest possible cost with the least liability to the Company.  They are not there to referee employee tiffs or to make sure that everybody likes and respects each other.  Regardless of how right you think you are in a situation there's no guarantee you'll get the result you want or even that you will get a fair hearing.NY is an at-will employement state. Translation: Unless you have a written contract (or belong to a union) you can be fired for pretty much any reason.  The legal protections, such as they are, exist for the old (over 40), females and ethnic minorities, the groups that are generally seen to been discriminated against in the past.  The woman you're in the pissing match with falls into at least two of these categories; you fall into none. Therefore, it is less of a legal risk for the Company to fire you than her if this turns into a more public mud wrestling match.If a boss can't handle being called an idiot or worse by one of their reports in an office gossip situation, then he/she shouldn't be in that position to start with.  Outright slander/libel or real insubordination is different.My advice - let it go, keep your head down and make your numbers.

foodcourtdruide

10-13-2006, 01:28 PM

Recyclerz wrote: As someone who is currently posting from the belly of the corporate beast right now, with a somewhere in the middle of the food chain job, here's my $0.02:The HR Department, regardless of what they say (or even what they think), is there to keep the oars manned - sorry personned -, to make sure everybody is pulling and to do it at the lowest possible cost with the least liability to the Company.  They are not there to referee employee tiffs or to make sure that everybody likes and respects each other.  Regardless of how right you think you are in a situation there's no guarantee you'll get the result you want or even that you will get a fair hearing.NY is an at-will employement state. Translation: Unless you have a written contract (or belong to a union) you can be fired for pretty much any reason.  The legal protections, such as they are, exist for the old (over 40), females and ethnic minorities, the groups that are generally seen to been discriminated against in the past.  The woman you're in the pissing match with falls into at least two of these categories; you fall into none. Therefore, it is less of a legal risk for the Company to fire you than her if this turns into a more public mud wrestling match.If a boss can't handle being called an idiot or worse by one of their reports in an office gossip situation, then he/she shouldn't be in that position to start with.  Outright slander/libel or real insubordination is different.My advice - let it go, keep your head down and make your numbers. You are REALLY smart. I agree with absolutely everything you said in this post. Ownerships loyalty to you is only as good as how much money you could potentially cost them. I really think its your boss' fault for dragging you into this.

foodcourtdruide

10-13-2006, 01:30 PM

newport king wrote: I respectfully disagree with the post above me. When you hear something that doesn't involve you, and you go running to the boss to tell the news like some town cryer yes that makes you a rat. And dont tell me in most white collar jobs people really respect each other and its not backstabbing, and friends look out for each other. White collar jobs is where most of the backstabbing go on. Everyone will step on the next person to get ahead in the race. Having said that, i DO agree with your boss making you confront her. Its almost a bit of a heel turn on his part. That was a piece of shit move on his part. Just don't tell him I said so.I think white collar backstabbing goes on at middle and upper management. Supervisors/seniors tend to work extremely closely with their subordinates. 

This message was edited by foodcourtdruide on 10-13-06 @ 5:30 PM

narc

10-13-2006, 01:37 PM

newport king wrote: I respectfully disagree with the post above me. When you hear something that doesn't involve you, and you go running to the boss to tell the news like some town cryer yes that makes you a rat. And dont tell me in most white collar jobs people really respect each other and its not backstabbing, and friends look out for each other. White collar jobs is where most of the backstabbing go on. Everyone will step on the next person to get ahead in the race. Having said that, i DO agree with your boss making you confront her. Its almost a bit of a heel turn on his part. That was a piece of shit move on his part. Just don't tell him I said so.   It all depends. If you're in a professional white collar job, you're expected to have professional courtesy, and so in that situation I would say nothing. I may tell others that I trust that I heard her saying this and I disagree, and may also privately say that I didn't think much of her work, but if you're a professional, you can't air that stuff in the workplace.

mdr55

10-13-2006, 02:36 PM

So she has a terrible rep in the company and people don't like this person, but yet she's been there for 25 years. Who does she know that she doesn't get fired. Is she hot?

Fezticle98

10-13-2006, 02:41 PM

mdr55 wrote: So she has a terrible rep in the company and people don't like this person, but yet she's been there for 25 years. Who does she know that she doesn't get fired. Is she hot? I think you just answered your own question.

MrPink

10-13-2006, 02:51 PM

So she has a terrible rep in the company and people don't like this person, but yet she's been there for 25 years. Who does she know that she doesn't get fired.It sounds like you work for the post office or some other government job. Anyway, she wins. Just do your job and leave when its time to. If you get into a big thing with her, you'll be fired before she does so give up.

FUNKMAN

10-13-2006, 03:11 PM

if someone is constantly late and it leads to you doing more work and they often have an attitude problem then they can go fuck themselves. it doesn't matter how you handle it, talking to him/her or talking to the boss...just be careful how you act and don't provide ammo to be used against you. it can work both wayssometimes you may think someone else is doing many things that annoy you, the question is are they wrong and think about yourself and some things you may do that can be annoying to others... THEN if your boss is allowing them to get away with shit then it's really the BOSS you've got to talk to about his/her own issues, which is a very tough thing to dothat's why you love certain people in the workplace that tell the boss exactly what's on their mind. i worked with a 71 year old ex-marine and the boss was getting on his case a little bit. my coworker jumped up and said "okay ralph you sit down and do it" then he said "you know ralph, you're a talker and i'm a doer so why don't you do and i'll talk" and ralph backed down...

reillyluck

10-13-2006, 04:14 PM

wow...what a situation.  heres the thing....you mentioned that you are close to your boss and consider him or her a friend at best right? well you at least should tell your boss that you felt terrible that they put you on the spot like that, if you already havent told them that already.  Did u tell your boss that you prefered that you wanted this confidential?  Your boss also made a huge mistake by having a meeting about it.  #1 rule for human resources is that you NEVER discuss personal feelings in a meeting unless h/r is present.  thats where the he said, she said falls into place.  Anybody on a management level clearly knows that.  I do agree with everyone that you should have kept it to yourself.  If you felt bad about what she said you should have addressed it to her.  the problem with the professional world is that everyone is going to have an opinion about someone they work with.  Whether they express that to you or anyone else, their feelings will never change.  THis woman has been there for 25 years and she doesnt seem like shes going anywhere for now.  unfortunately this woman is going to point you out to present and future employees as a "rat" and that sucks because they will be nice to you, but ultimately you cant be trusted to them.   oh and always remember....bosses are NEVER your friends....clearly what your boss did is proof of that.  the only friend you have at work is your paycheck. 

This message was edited by reillyluck on 10-13-06 @ 8:17 PM

Reephdweller

10-13-2006, 05:40 PM

If people want to view me as a rat in this situation that's fine. I would never do this to someone, and anyone who knows me professionally knows that it takes A LOT of bullshit for me to put up with before I go into battle mode. I can tell you from years of experience with this woman and over a year and a half of dealing with her on an equal level that she is trouble. She has made a career out of intimidating people and harassing people. As for why would someone like her be with a company so long...my company was bought out 3 years ago so the people who ran it before her never properly dealt with her, she ran amok and was relatively powerful with many powerful people at her side. Every single one of those people are now gone, and for the last three years she has gotten into a lot of trouble because she carries about an arrogance and has been told by executives many times that this is not the old company any more, to deal with the fact that she is in a new company. I know for a fact that her style of managing, dealing with people, and trying to intimidate people is not looked at very favorably by HR or the new company at all. If anything they dislike her style, her approach to people and in fact find her to be a racist with a long past of being racist to people, singling them out, making comments that people her position shouldn't make. Making inappropriate comments are common by her. Making disaparaging comments by her are common. Throwing her fellow supervisors under the bus are very common things she does. If you think I would just outright rat on someone that is the furthest thing from the truth. Think whatever you want, though I assure you that I've seen her terrorize and intimidate good people long enough including myself, so I have no sympathy for her getting what is due her, and I also don't feel slightly guilty about what I did because it is deserved and long over due.

newport king

10-13-2006, 05:54 PM

best thing you can do is remember her and work your way up to management/H.N.I.C. level and rule with an iron fist.

mdr55

10-13-2006, 06:19 PM

Stop busting rat....I mean reef. It's about time someone stood up to that bitch.  If H.R. knows this stuff about her, why don't they fire hire or lay the paper trail to lead to such?

Coach

10-14-2006, 02:02 AM

I back Reef 100%Not all companies have H.R. Departments.My old one brought in a woman. Who constantly down played the boss to the customers...I stayed Quiet and got canned..because she talked him into re encapsulating my group with the top one.. although mine produced a 110% Improvement..Her area lost 50% 

This message was edited by Coach on 10-14-06 @ 6:03 AM

sr71blackbird

10-14-2006, 02:40 PM

Reef filled me in on the crap this bitch pulls constatly last night at Mama Theresa's, where we had the grilled balsamic chicken panini with broccholi rabe and fresh mozzarella.  This woman is the kind of supervisor everyone hates, from the reps to upper management.  But she feels shes "untouchable" because someone will cry descrimination or whatever. Screw her!

Reephdweller

10-14-2006, 03:10 PM

It was tasty!

sr71blackbird

10-14-2006, 03:13 PM

Id eat one now if I could!

johnniewalker

10-14-2006, 05:07 PM

I know its hard for people to comment without fully knowing the situation, but it bugs me that she was saying these things with 11 or 12 people around and you were the one that had to go to the boss. I think you should go to the boss only in serious situations and when you have proof other than heresay.   He had to treat it as a serious situation when everyone knew it wasn't that bad.  It should be a fireable offense or something more than just being written up.   It looks bad that you are unable to get along with a coworker.  If this lady has such a loose mouth what keeps her from saying some untrue things about you and something way worse.  I don't think you should have shown your hand so soon.

Reephdweller

10-14-2006, 06:27 PM

I don't think you should have shown your hand so soon.I haven't shown anything yet. She's not aware this is going to HR. As far as the situation where I went to the boss over what I heard her say. She was written up and had a window of time to rebut the letter and she waived it. From what I understand that means the issue is dead and she should have not brought it back up. She did, so right there alone she is in trouble. Adding the threat at the end made it worse. All day Friday she taunted me in email, making statements that I would be more inclined to reply to, though I kept quiet and will remain so through this whole thing. I'm going through this all very carefully.

Lumber

10-14-2006, 06:41 PM

Cheese Eatter

HeyGuy

10-15-2006, 03:10 AM

Reefdweller wrote:  I don't think you should have shown your hand so soon.  I haven't shown anything yet. She's not aware this is going to HR. As far as the situation where I went to the boss over what I heard her say. She was written up and had a window of time to rebut the letter and she waived it. From what I understand that means the issue is dead and she should have not brought it back up. She did, so right there alone she is in trouble. Adding the threat at the end made it worse. All day Friday she taunted me in email, making statements that I would be more inclined to reply to, though I kept quiet and will remain so through this whole thing. I'm going through this all very carefully.this sounds childish but I would do the same thing. You started all this by opening your mouth because someone said something about your friend, who is also your boss. Sometimes you mind your business. IMO keep your mouth shut when it comes to other workers talking about someone, even the boss. Maybe everyone hates her maybe its just you we will never know. But I can tell you no matter what I would never say shit in front of you because who knows what might tick you off and who you might tell (if I worked with you)It sounds like when your a kid in school and there was always that one kid that ran back to the teacher and told on you even over the smallest of shit. Remember that kid, no one trusted, no one liked him, no one would let him be involved because he was unpredictable. What I really dont understand is why did what she said bother you so much and why did you have to tell your friend/boss? And do you really think your friend/boss is your friend after this? He should have never ratted you out to her, he should have just said he heard her talking negative and confronted her. But he through you under the bus.

suggums

10-15-2006, 10:29 AM

i hate working with assholes.  get the bitch outta there reefy, but as you already said, do it carefully.yer no rat

AngelAmy

10-15-2006, 02:07 PM

What I really dont understand is why did what she said bother you so much and why did you have to tell your friend/boss? And do you really think your friend/boss is your friend after this? He should have never ratted you out to her, he should have just said he heard her talking negative and confronted her. But he through you under the bus.  I'm not expecting you or anyone to understand. On the surface of it I understand why a lot of you are reacting the way that you are. Yet every single person who knows the woman involved sees it exactly the way I do and understands where I'm coming from . So I guess the only thing I can say is that if you knew her you'd understand.  that was reef,...hehehe

This message was edited by AngelAmy on 10-15-06 @ 7:55 PM